His Worst Nightmare


This can't be happening. Not again.

Anders could only stare at Olivia in shock, her blank, dead eyes eerily watching him. They were always such a vivid blue, bright and shining like the rolling waves of the ocean when the sun hit their peaks… but now those eyes were cold and lifeless. He stepped up to her, lifting a shaking hand to brush the hair from her face. He knew what he would find, but that didn't stop all the air from leaving his lungs at the sight of the fresh brand upon her forehead. That's when it all hit him.

They made her Tranquil.

"Liv," he breathed, cupping either side of her face, silently begging for her to come back to him.

"Anders," she replied, her voice toneless and flat.

That's not how she's supposed to say my name.

She was supposed to say it with a smile, with light in her eyes.

But Olivia would never smile again. She would never laugh again. She would never feel again. They took the woman he loved and turned her into a shell of her former self. Olivia was gone. His biggest supporter, his best friend, the love of his life—was gone. His Liv was gone.

I can't do this again.

Outraged, Justice fought for control of his body, and in his grief he gave in to the spirit. Justice's anger and disdain merged with Anders' own sorrow as he came to the surface. And his arrival brought back Olivia.

He saw the exact moment she came back to him, those blue eyes shining bright before they filled with tears. She placed her hands over his and choked out a sob, her chest heaving as she cried.

"It's horrible," she spluttered, tears spilling over their hands. "Please make it stop. Anders,please."

No.

But Justice considered it. Anders struggled to control himself again; he couldn't let Justice give in to her plea. So he clawed his way back to control his body.

Olivia cried even harder when the glow in his eyes faded, knowing what it would soon bring.

"I won't lose you," he said, voice trembling. "I can't. Olivia, I love you."

"I…" She abruptly stopped crying, her hands dropping from his, her face returning to the passive expression she wore before.

"No!" Anders wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest, tears streaming down his face. "Come back to me, love. Please, come back."

"I am right here," came her muffled voice. But it wasn't her. "Do not be upset, Anders. This had to be done."

"No, no, no… Liv…" He felt empty, as empty as her eyes, like a part of him was gone. His chest constricted, and he could barely breathe, overwhelmed by her loss. He pulled back and kissed her, her lips unresponsive to his own, and he cracked, Justice pouring through and taking control again.

Olivia wailed, a painful, desperate sound that wracked him to his core. "Not again," she whined, looking right into his—Justice's—eyes. "Please, not again. Kill me. Just kill me."

"Anders loves you," Justice stated, with Anders' mouth.

"I know."

"He does not wish to kill you."

"Please, Justice," she begged, lip trembling as she forced herself not to cry. "Don't make me live like this."

Justice unsheathed the small knife from his belt, and Anders struggled against him, frantic—desperate—to stop him. The spirit fought back, and Anders was left trapped in his own body, trying to scream, trying to do something besides let Justice control him like a puppet… but he failed. Justice plunged the knife into Olivia's stomach, and then Anders was screaming as the spirit relinquished control over his body.

Anders caught her as she fell forward, and he lowered her to the ground, pulling her onto his lap. He quickly pulled the knife out and went to heal her, but she stopped him, grabbing his hand and bringing it to her chest.

"You promised," she said weakly, brilliant eyes on his.

"Liv, I can't…"

"I love you, Anders," she whispered, a small smile on her lips. "Always remember that." Her grip on his hand loosened, her last breath leaving her lips as the life faded from her eyes for the final time. Anders pulled her body to his chest, sobbing into her hair, calling her name, wishing for her to come back to him.

This can't be happening. Not again.

Please, love. Come back to me.

I love you. I need you. Don't leave me here alone.

Someone placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking him back and forth until he opened his eyes and jerked upright, his gaze landing on a dark figure before him.

Olivia.

He stared at her, confused, noting the lack of a brand on her forehead and the concern in her eyes. She was just… sitting in front of him, in their bed, her hair sticking out in every direction like it always did when she woke up.

Then it hit him. It had all been a dream.

Relief washed over him and he reached for her, needing to feel her and confirm that she was okay. She wrapped her arms around him and held his head to her chest, and Maker, the sound of her heartbeat was like music to his ears. She ran her fingers through his hair, whispering words of love and comfort to him.

"Shh, it's over, my love," she muttered into his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "I'm right here, everything's okay now."

"I thought I lost you," Anders forced out, his voice just above a whisper as he hugged her tighter. "They made you Tranquil, and I… Justice… killed you."

He lifted his head from her chest and she smiled at him, shaking her head. "I'm still here, Anders. I'm not going anywhere." She placed her hands on his face, wiping the tears from his eyes before leaning forward and resting her forehead against his, gently stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. Anders closed the distance between them and met her lips with his, and she wasn't impassive as she'd been in his dream—she kissed him back.

When they broke, he immediately tugged her closer, and she crawled onto his lap, tangling her arms and legs around him, tucking her face into the crook of his neck. "I want to hold you for a little longer," he breathed, and Olivia planted a kiss on the side of his neck.

"Hold me as long as you want." She snuggled closer to him and sighed. "I'll always be here for you."

Anders, the lovesick fool that he was, let himself believe her.