A/N: I know this story is slow going but thank you for sticking with me. I've got two chapters coming at you tonight/today. Gabriela: I am sort of new myself, but I will try to help you as much as possible. The first step is to make an account here on it is free. Then send me a PM and I'll see how I can help :) as always R&R Enjoy :)

Chapter Twenty:

ASHLYNN'S POV

I decided to get up and go for a walk since Carlos had to go get some more information on the Brotherhood. I went through my morning routine even though it was afternoon. I slipped into a pair of jeans and pulled my shirt over my head and pulled my high top shoes on. I head down the stairs to the main part of the saints hide out. I come to a stop on the middle landing and look down at a long line of saints waiting on the elevator.

"If it's broken take the damn stairs" I call down to them using my best Roland look. They all turn and hurry for the stairs.

I take a quick look around and make sure everyone is gone before I make my way to the elevator. I press my ear to the door and I can hear something on the other side.

"Roland?" I whisper getting as close to the metal doors.

I hear movement but the door doesn't open. I sigh and weigh my options before opening my phone and calling Johnny. I hear a groan of frustration and the doors slide open with a quiet ding. I step in and let them close behind me. I hit the stop button and quickly send Johnny a text saying never mind. I look at Roland and he slides down the wall. I sit next to him and curl my legs up under me.

"What did you do today?" I ask quietly

"Blew up some brotherhood trucks." he answers with a strain in his voice.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing." he replies

"I know you Roland that face doesn't say that everything is fine." I say frowning at him.

"THAT ASHOLE STILL THINKS LIN WAS HIS GIRL!" Roland yells kicking the wall of the elevator.

Donny. I remember my brother loved Lin or at least I think he did. He was always talking about her. I know it was a difficult time though. Lin was in charge of bring down the Rollerz. Roland and Lin were able to steal a few precious moments together without her being caught. Then one day the Rollerz found out. I think a part of him died that day Lin was killed. He became reckless but in the end the saints won and took over stillwater.

"She loved you." I whisper to him.

"I got her killed. If it wasn't for me she would still be here." he said his voice in a whimper.

"it wasn't your fault Roland." I answer.

"She wouldn't want you to be sad, she would want you to be reclaiming the city she worked so hard to help you take over." I add giving him a hug.

He stands up and helps me up and presses the button for the ground level.

"Let's grab lunch." Roland says when the elevator comes to a stop. We get in his car and sit down at freckle bitches.

"What did you do today?" he asks finishing off his sandwich and starting on the fries.

"I talked to mom today..." I trail off in a whisper.

He starts to cough and takes a drink before answering.

"What the fuck for?!" he asks when he stops choking.

"She wants us to come to dinner." I tell him.

"No fucking way! No fucking way!" he repeats.

"Roland please.." I whisper

"NO!" he yells

"I already said yes and I'm scared to go alone.."

"so don't go." he says simply.

"It's not that simple, you know it's not that simple Roland." I reply,

"Fine." he says with a sigh

We finish up eating and head back to the hideout. Roland goes around and talks to Johnny, Shaundi, Pierce and Carlos. I start to have second thoughts. What if it's a trap to get me back home? No she wouldn't want Roland to come too if it was a trap.

"This will be fun." I hear Johnny say while he cracks his neck. What the hell is Roland doing?

I find out when it is time to leave. Roland and I get in one car. Shaundi and pierce in another and Johnny with Carlos in the last car. I laugh because I know mom and dad are going to be pissed.

It's a long quiet drive but when we finally get there I look up at the old blue house and shake my head at all the mixed memories. Mostly bad. This is not where I grew up this is where mom and dad dragged me after Roland ended up in his coma.

Mom answers the door then her mouth drops open. I suppress a laugh as she waves us all into the house. The house is spotless as usual. Mom is all about things being perfect. Abuse wasn't perfect so mom always said to keep quiet. I did but now its freeing to know that my friends around me know about it.

"Don't fucking touch me." Roland growls out when mom tries to give him a kiss on the cheek. I let mom give me a quick kiss before she hurries back to the kitchen to make her perfect dinner.

"Get your feet off the coffee table." I flinch at the sound of the voice. I turn to see Johnny with his feet on the coffee table and my dad glaring at him.

"Make me bitch." is Johnny's response as he makes himself more comfortable and turns on the T.V.

"Roland honey come help me get this dinner moved to the dining room." Mom calls out. Roland sighs and heads into the kitchen. They whisper but soon their voices are so loud that we can all hear them without straining.

"Why did you turn this family dinner into a gang field trip?!" My mom yells at my brother.

"I brought my family to the family dinner." Roland answers with venom coating every word.

"Their not your family Roland." mom says with a sigh.

"YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT FAMILY!" Roland screams at her.

"Keep your voice down, people will hear you." She tells him

"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!" Roland screams even louder before stomping out of the kitchen and dropping the casserole on the table. Mom brings out the drinks and the sides.

"Dinner is done." Roland tells us. We quickly find our seats. Mom sat next to Roland with dad on her other side. Next was Shaundi next to Roland and Pierce next to her. Carlos sat next to Pierce and I sat next to Carlos. Johnny quickly took the seat between my dad and I. We ate in silence for a while.

"Well, how is it?" Mom asks.

"Tastes like shit." Roland says glaring at her.

"Be nice to your mother." Dad scolds Roland. Roland flips him the bird and makes a big show of choking down the next bite. Mom drops her fork.

"Why are you doing this?" she asks rubbing her eyes. Roland makes a fist but shoves more food into his mouth. Shaundi puts her hand on Roland's fist and that's when the fireworks began.

"You! Hippie girl get your hands off of my son!" Mom says giving Shaundi a glare. Shaundi's mouth drops open.

"Listen you stupid bitch. I'll put my hands where ever the fuck I want to put them. If you don't like that then I can use them to rearrange your face." Shaundi answers my mom. This time my mom's mouth drops open.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT, YOU LOST THE RIGHT TO CALL ME YOUR SON!" Roland screams at mom.

"DON'T TALK TO YOUR MOTHER THAT WAY!" My dad screams at Roland. I flinch and Carlos takes my hand. Roland runs around the table and jumps on dad knocking him down and punching him. My mom hurries around the table to break up the fight but Shaundi gets to her first and grabs her hair and punches her starting the fight. My jaw drops open and Johnny jumps into the fight with my dad. Pierce looks shocked. I roll my eyes and clear the table.

I can feel myself starting to shake. I drop the china plate and the fighting stops.

"MY GOOD CHINA!" Mom screams. "DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER!" My mom yells at dad. I back away and Carlos pulls me behind him. It didn't matter though because my dad only made it three steps before he had Roland's gun in his face.

"Dinner is over." Roland calls out signaling for us to head out. He backs to the door keeping the gun on my dad until he slams the front door.

"Don't slam the door!" I hear mom call out. We get into our cars and head back to still water.