A/N: I'm sorry that this update took so long. I've started a few new stories, but on top of that I've been playing over and over how I wanted this chapter to go I am planning to give Carlos a funeral next chapter it always made me mad in the game when Aisha got one but Carlos didn't. Do you think I should? Anyway I have a Mortal Instruments story that I've started. As always R&R and Enjoy!

Chapter 23

ASHLYNN'S POV

I woke up to the sun shining through the spaces between the curtains. I yawned thinking over the terrible events realizing that they must have been a nightmare. I stretched and got out of bed, ignoring the coldness of the stairs on my feet I took them two at a time hurrying to find Carlos and tell him about my dream.

"Where's Carlos?" I asked when I stepped off of the last stair walking towards Roland and Johnny who were whispering quietly.

Roland turned slowly and tilted his head at me. I rolled my eyes in response to his look. Johnny and Roland looked at each other finally Roland took a deep breath and broke away from Johnny.

"Ash.. he's dead." My brother said his voice quiet and emotionless. I shook my head in response, the words not making any sense. He took a few more steps towards me, I stared at him waiting for him to clarify his previous words.

"Ash.. Carlos died last night." He said barely above a whisper, taking more steps towards me. I shook my head this time in anger.

"That's a sick joke even for you!" I yelled at him my eyes narrowing at my brother. He closed the remaining gap and reached his hand up towards me. I watched as he pulled on something around my neck, wordlessly holding out the cross so that I could see it.

My eyes glazed over as last night replayed in my mind. My mouth opened as if to say something anything that could explain that those events didn't happen. He dropped the cross back to my chest and reached out for me. My world came crashing down as I shoved him away from me turning and running back up the stairs.

JOHNNY'S POV

"I'll go talk to her." I said when Roland turned around his face a careful mask hiding his emotions. He nodded in response and I took a deep breath heading up the stairs. I got to the door turning the knob surprised when it opened up.

"Ash?" I called out my eyes searching the room before settling on the lump under the blankets.

I got no response so I walked to the bed and took a seat on the edge patting what I thing what a shoulder.

"Can we talk?" I asked rubbing soothing circles on her arm I found after moving down the shoulder.

She sat up slowly keeping the blanket around her.

"I killed him." She whispered so quietly I had to lean forward to hear her.

"You didn't, you set him free." I said trying to get past the memories that were flooding in.

"I'm so sorry Ash." I added in a whisper.

"I should have done something else anything else not shoot him.." She trailed off wiping her eyes.

"He would have just suffered in pain." I said.

"You don't know that!" She said her eyes flashing with mixed emotions.

"You're right I don't but I do know he loved you, he still does where ever he is." I said rocking with her.

"I can't decide how I feel." She said wiping her eyes once more. "Angry, sad, broken, confused I just don't know anymore." She added.

"Go with anger it's easier to death with." I said closing my eyes.

"I need to go on a walk." She said looking at me her eyes swimming

"I'll take you." I said holding my hand out to help her up.

"Alone." She said moving off of the bed and heading to the bathroom.

I watched her close the door behind her then slipped out of her room and headed back downstairs.

ASHLYNN'S POV

I took a quick shower and threw on a pair of sweats and the first shirt my fingers touched, then a pair of shoes before running out the door down the stairs past the elevator and up to the ground floor not slowing to a walk until I got a block away.

How can the sun be shining today? I asked myself looking up at the clear and sunny sky. I continued to walk taking slow deep breaths until my breathing regulated. I walked for what seemed like forever. Crossing the streets at the right times and making automatic turns. I found myself in front of the police station the neon sign proudly displaying the building.

Why I came here who knows but it seems like I need to be here. I pushed through the doors ignoring the secretaries demand that I sign in I headed up the stairs letting my feet lead me to my destination.

I stared up at the sign for a moment. "Police Chief Troy Bradshaw." The plaque showed beside the door. I twisted the knob and walked in letting the door fall closed behind me.

"Can I." Troy stopped realizing who I was.

"WHY COULDN'T YOUR PEOPLE GET THERE SOONER?!" I screamed at him injecting venom into every word.

He stared at me his hands flat on the desk as if trying to decide what to do or what to say.

"I'll be right back." He said pushing himself up from the desk and heading out the door I came in through.

My eyes scanned the room it looked the same as the last time I was in here. My eyes found the tapes and my fingers reached for them plucking them off of the desk and sticking them in my waistband before I even really understood what I was doing.

Troy came back into the room offering me a bottle of water. I ignored his offer and crossed my arms over my chest glaring as he took a seat behind his desk.

"I'm sorry for your loss." He said shaking his head struggling to hold my gaze.

"It wouldn't have been a loss if your people showed up on time." I said my words soft but cold.

"We did our best." He said running a hand through his hair blowing out a puff of air.

"Your best wasn't good enough!" I snapped back at him.

"So much for protect and serve." I spit the words at him, standing up and kicking my chair before walking out of his office and slamming the door behind myself. I decided to head back to the hideout.

When I finally made it back to the hideout I found my brother and Johnny sitting quietly.

"Where have you been?!" Roland asked springing out of his seat.

"Leave me alone Roland." I said I said glaring at him. Johnny looked back and forth between us his eyes weary.

"What's the matter with you? You act like you hate me now." He said his voice strained with anger.

"Maybe I do! I said staring him down.

"For what?!" He asked his eyes locking onto me not willing to break the stare down.

"Getting Carlos killed." I said knowing deep down that my anger at him was irrational but It was better than feeling nothing.

"me? I killed Carlos?! ME?!" he said his voice growing in anger.

"YES! THE DAY HE JOINED THE SAINTS WAS THE DAY YOU SIGNED HIS DEATH WARRENT! IF YOU HADN'T WANTED THAT STUPID TOXIC WASTE AND USED IT IN MAERO'S INK CARLOS WOULD STILL BE HERE!" I screamed at him letting the anger take full control.

"YOU SHOT HIM! YOU PULLED THE TRIGGER! THE BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS NOT MINE!" He screamed his words lake a punch to the gut. I closed my eyes against the hurt and reached into my waistband. He watched numbly his face displaying his shock at his own words.

I threw the bag with the tapes on the ground in front of him. He stared down at them his eyes expressing his confusion.

"I hope they make you hurt as much as I hurt." I whispered turning my back to him and going up the stairs, taking them one at a time.