A/N: I'm so sorry guys. There is no excuse for my lack of updating. I had half of this chapter written and planned to finish the rest during spring break but I guess I lost motivation for a little bit. Me sorry D: On one of the chapters someone said I should write a new one where Carlos doesn't die so I was thinking that after this story is finished I may write a short story where Carlos lives and continues with Ashlynn if you want me to or not leave a note in a review or PM. If your still with me thank you :D and as always R&R and of course Enjoy.
Oh yeah.. I don't own Smirnoff.
Chapter 24
ASHLYNN'S POV
I close my eyes remembering the way I treated my brother. I tighten my hand around my drink and open my eyes staring down at the alcohol, I shouldn't every part of me hates it but what else can I do I want to forget I Need to forget I have to forget.
"What do you think you're doing?" Roland asks eyebrows arched as he eyes my cup. My hate filled words reply in my mind over again. I just want to drink until I don't feel anything. I let my anger push him away.
"LEAVE ME ALONE ROLAND" I scream at my brother twisting my body and my drink away from him.
"You don't drink Ash it's not you." He answered as if it was supposed to change my mind.
I pulled my red plastic cup back, holding it in the air behind my head. I'm so tired of wondering around and feeling nothing and everything at the same time. I feel so numb but at the same time every memory and every reminder breaks my heart all over again. Roland narrowed his eyes at me drawing my attention back to the argument.
"I can drink if I want to." I say lowering my voice and looking up to glare at my brother.
"YOU don't WANT to drink." He said trying again to grab for my drink.
"STOP just stop. You always tell me what to do and I'm tired of it." I reply feeling the anger run through me.
I watch in shock as his arm snakes out towards me, before I can react I take a shower in Smirnoff. My mouth drops open in disbelief. My eyes darting to the empty cup on the floor and back to my brothers triumphant grin.
"Don't give her any alcohol." He orders turning back to the Saints bartender.
I climb up the stairs to the room I used to share with Carlos. Each step feels as if gravity is trying to drag me down. I finally make it to our room and shut the door heading for the bathroom and turning the water on as hot as I can get it. I slide my clothes off letting them hit the floor and climb into the hot water and let myself lean against the tiled wall. When I close my eyes I can still see him. Smiling at me, his arms around me. Sometimes I even think I can smell him. I let my eyes close and slide down the tile before pressing my head to my knees and letting the tears fall; and this time I don't care because the shower is loud enough to cover the sobbing.
THE NEXT DAY
"SHAUNDI go away." I call out pulling the blankets over my face.
Every morning she bangs on my door trying to drag me out of the hideout or take me somewhere. Why can't anyone understand that I just want to be left alone.
"Come one we can just go out for a little while." She calls back through the door.
"Maybe tomorrow" I answer knowing I won't go anywhere tomorrow either. I narrow my eyes at the sound of the knob jiggling.
"Don't you dare." I raise my voice The jiggling stops and I roll over in my bed and close my eyes again.
Ten minutes late I jolt up in bed when the door creeks open.
"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!" I scream at the cracked door. What part of go away doesn't she understand.
"There's that anger." I hear the voice say opening the door the rest of the way and shutting it behind him.
"Johnny.." I start
"I don't wanna hear it." He says holding his hand up stopping me.
I let out a sigh when he sits on the end of the bed.
"I want to be alone." I say glaring at him.
"Look, your allowed to be mad, hell embrace it." He says holding his arms out.
"I am mad! no one will leave me alone." I say my voice raising again.
"You don't have to be alone." He says lowering his voice to the point where I have to strain to hear it.
"We are all worried about you Ash." He continues.
"Just get out for a while, go with Shaundi she's just going to kick that bag around." He adds.
A laugh escapes my lips as I realize he means the hacky sac.
"What's so funny?" He asks a smile tugging at his lips.
"It's called a hack sac Johnny." I say a grin growing on my face.
"Just go." He says rolling his eyes and pointing at the door with a smile.
"I have to change." I say mimicking his gesture and point at the door.
"What's wrong with what your wearing?" He asks his eyes displaying his humor.
"I'm dressed for bed." I stick out my tongue.
"Girls." He says laughing and rolling his eyes as he gets up and leaves the room.
What the hell just happened? I wonder to myself as I pull on the first clothes I touch and grab my gun and slide it into my pants. He's good too good, better watch him. I tell myself as I open the door to Shaundi's car and slide in.
She starts the car and drives and I let a small smile out grateful that we don't have to have some huge talk. We meet up with a few saints at the bank and start to hack. I let my mind fall into the rhythm of watching the little sac and bouncing it off of my shoe, me knee, my leg, whatever can reach the sac. The saint next to me bounces it off of the tip of his shoe and it soars over Shaundi's head.
She runs across the parking lot to grab it so we can keep playing. The squealing of tires draw my attention and I gasp as Shaundi is nearly run over. The door opens and out steps the object of my pain. I guess Shaundi recognizes her because she pulls out her phone and dials a number. I shake off my shock and feel the anger clawing at my chest. I draw my gun and follow Jessica into the bank.
As soon as we pass through the doors I grab her and hold my gun to her head using her as a shield.
"You're dead." I growl out in her ear as I force her up the short stairs, around the corner to the alarm.
"Turn it off." I say grabbing a fist full of her ponytail and shoving the gun between her shoulders. She reaches out and shuts the alarm off and I drag her back through the bank using her as cover to return fire at the sorry excuse for public protection, cops.
I drag her outside to her car and dig in her pockets for her keys. Finding what I want I press the button and pop the trunk before shoving her in. Her arms come out to stop the trunk. My eyes snap to her wrist where MY charm bracelet hangs from. I slam the butt of the gun against her head and grab her wrist and yank my bracelet off I slam the door down and attach the bracelet to my wrist where it belongs.
I climb into the driver seat and slide the key into the ignition before speeding down the road refusing myself a moment to think about what I'm doing the word poetic justice comes to mind but I know the word cruel would rear it's ugly head if I stop to think about it.
I pull into the demolition site and park her pretty car at the end of the line of beat up cars. I yank the keys out and move to the shadows to watch my revenge take place. The monster truck roars and the crowd cheers. My heart races with the sounds.
Maero's monster truck crashes down on the last car in the row with a sick satisfying crunch. The crowd screams their approval as the noise dies down I step into the light grabbing Maero's attention by clapping. Jessica's keys dangle of my fingers and I fling the keys at him.
"Check the trunk." I say the emptiness in my voice scares even myself. He turns and his face falls as recognition hits him hard. He struggles with the keys in the crushed lock, my heart slows down the adrenalin leaves me cold and dead. The trunk pops open and an arm falls out blood drips down and drops to the dirty floor Maero's strangled cry covers the sound of my slowly beating heart. Realization slams into me and revenge doesn't feel so good. I did the same thing she did, an eye for an eye, the whole world is blind.
I turn around refusing to watch my own sickening revenge. Conflict takes over disgust and a sick sense of joy envelopes me, I head for the side exit my eyes dry and I push the door open slowly the sun falling on my face on either the best or the second worst day of my life.