Trigger Warning: Brief mentions of conversion therapy and suicide.
Pain. That was all he was registering. Searing, sharp pain that seemed to be coming from everywhere. The world was blurry, encompassed in complete darkness. And there were... Voices? Some sort of noise, trying to reach through the void and shake him out of the blurr.
John groaned, opening his eyes slightly. Everything was so bright, all white walls and blurry faces. There was a woman standing over him. Was it a woman? Everything was spinning.
"He's awake! Mr. Laurens, can you hear me? Mr. Laurens? Somebody get me a doctor! Mr. Laurens?" The voice was getting fainter, and before he knew it, John had faded back into the void. Slipped back into the darkness.
What seemed like hours, or maybe only minutes later, he wearily opened his eyed again. He was in a small room, John could make that much out, although it took him a few seconds to realize that there were also people. Hovering next to his bed, it was in that moment that he actually realized he was indeed in a bed, was the figure of a man. John blinked trying to force his eyes to focus. The man was... Alex?
"Al-Alexander?" John asked in a hoarse voice, wincing slightly from the pain that had just started to settle in. Alex's head snapped up to look at him. His eyes were red, as if he'd either been up for far too long, or been crying.
Alex's eyes swept his face frantically. John smiled, attempting to brush some of his hair away from his face before realizing that Alexander was holding onto his hand. Alex's cheeks flushed as he instantly pulled his hand away, but he still remained extremely close. John's eyes were still locked with his, in a moment of silence, before a voice from across the room spoke up.
"John?" what could only be Eliza asked. Looking up, John caught only a glimpse of her dark hair as she tackled him in a hug. He chuckled, although admittedly in pain, before smiling and hugging her back.
"Hey, Liza," he greeted. Eliza took a moment before she responded, still clinging onto him.
She finally settled on whispering, "I was so scared... God, John, I was terrified," into his ear. John looked down, closing his eyes for a second.
"I know," he mumbled back, "I'm sorry." He couldn't bring himself to meet Eliza's eyes, and so instead glanced over at Alexander, who was looking down and wringing his hands. Finally, Eliza sat back.
"Never, ever, do this again," she commanded, eyes slightly puffy. John nodded apologetically, and she clambered off of him. Only to be replaced by Angelica, who took her time telling him that if he ever did something like that again, that she'd have to kill him. John couldn't exactly be upset by that, considering that he knew that he'd scared them all. If anything, he was thankful that they cared.
It wasn't until the everyone had finally disolved into seperate conversations that Alex actually spoke. From beside John, he whispered, "I thought you were dead..." The room fell silent.
John turned towards him, and Alexander repeated his statement. "I thought... I thought you were dead... They called me, saying... Saying that my number was open on your phone and... Oh God, John..." He closed his eyes briefly, and John noticed how his bottom lip was trembling ever slightly. Sighing, Alex opened his watery eyes. "Never do something like that to me again, do you understand?" he said, voice still shaking.
John nodded, stunned. He looked up at Alexander, who looked like he was on the verge of tears again, and couldn't help but staring a bit. His hair was disheveled, clothes wrinkled, and posture tired. He'd obviously been sitting by his bedside for several hours. Several hours... While holding his hand. And that's when John leaned forward, grabbed Alex by the collar, and kissed him. The other man let out a little gasp of surprise, before his eyes fluttered shut with a sigh.
John's heart was doing cartwheels in his chest. Alexander Hamilton, the guy he'd been crushing on for months, was kissing him. He was almost thinking that it was too good to be true, but then Alex tangled one of his hands into John's hair, and he sighed against his lips.
"Alex, there are people..." He protested, although without much conviction, because at that point Alexander was biting his bottom lip slightly.
"They can turn around," Alex grumbled in response. "I've wanted to do this for months..." John would be damned if that wasn't the hottest thing he could have possibly said. Pulling back slightly, enough to get a good look at Alex's face, he saw the other man grinning. His eyes were bright, and a slight smirk was playing on his lips. John smiled faintly, and Alexander leaned back down to kiss him again. From behind them, John heard Mulligan chuckling.
The kiss was very near perfect. It was everything he'd been wanting, and maybe more, because he was *actually* kissing Alexander. And Alexander was *actually* kissing him. But that's where everything went wrong. John heard the door swing open, and for just a second he considered ignoring it. Thinking back on it, he would wish he did. But, that wasn't the way it happened, and what John saw when he opened his eyes was the last thing he could have wanted. Standing in the door frame, with a look of complete disgust on his face, was Henry Laurens.
His heart skipped a beat. His father was here. His conservative, southern, extremely homophobic father was here, and had just seen him kissing a boy. John instantly shoved Alex away, eyes panicked. Alex, naturally, didn't see Mr. Laurens standing in the doorway. All he knew was that John had just pushed him away, after making it seem that he wanted to kiss him. The hurt expression on his face made John regret his decision instantly. Mouth hanging open slightly, and eyes burning, he abruptly stood up. Throwing John an extremely angry look, Alex stormed away, pushing past Mr. Laurens in the doorway without much notice. John watched him go, part of him desperately wanting to call after him, and part of him knowing that he couldn't. Instead he settled for a miserable, resigned look.
Mr. Laurens cleared his throat. Facing John's friends, he said, "Can I have a moment with my son? Alone." The group all gave John sympathetic looks, but filled out as they'd been told. John took a breath.
"Dad-" he began, instantly thinking of how to explain that situation. His father cut him off.
"What the Hell was that?" He demanded, eyes cold. John sighed.
"Look, I'm sorry, I-" he tried, but his father clearly didn't want to hear it.
"I thought we had this little... Problem... Sorted out, John," he said, tone still firm and emotionless. John took a shaky breath. He remembered quite well what his father considered, "Sorting out the problem." Months of conversion therapy, which had very nearly made him suicidal. And, of course, had changed nothing.
"Sending me to a fucking shrink when I was 14 didn't solve anything," he hissed, eyes burning with anger. His father took a long breath, shaking his head. After a moment, he spoke again.
"I'm paying for you to be at this school, John. I don't have to be. I don't know who that was, but whatever was happening, end it. I don't want to hear about this boy again, do you hear me John?" He asked, voice a low growl. John weakly nodded. "Good," his father said, all too cheerful, before turning and strolling back out the door. The minute he was gone, John's shoulders began to shake and the tears he'd been repressing finally spilled. It took an hour of Angelica reassuring him for the crying to stop.
Hey guys! So sorry for this being up so late. School work has been getting in the way, and I've had like no time. Hope you can forgive, and enjoy!