Sorry I haven't updated in forever, please forgive me!

Chapter 15

Raven's POV

I lunged for his throat, ready to end this once and for all. Ready to end the pain of seeing his face, ready to avenge my mother, ready to finally truly live without fear... But I didn't. Once my jaws were around his throat, I stopped. I stepped back and turned around before going behind a tree to phase back. The boys followed my lead and came back as humans confused. I watched the confusion cross his face at my approach.

"Isn't this what you've always wanted Raven? Haven't you always wanted to kill me?"
I took a deep breath wrinkling my nose from his vampire smell.

"I'll admit, I have never hated someone in my life so much than you. I've never felt so worthless so horrible and so weak when I was around you. You taught me that I had to fear something, but I don't have it in me to kill you. For once in my life, I chose to do something for me. Not because you gave me the option, not because I'm being pressured to do it. If I were to kill you, I'd do it because I wanted to."
He seemed confused but said nothing, he didn't seem to know how to react. Paul but his arm around me and kissed the side of my head.
"I'm proud of you."

I smiled a little but said nothing, waiting for Jonathan to think.

"Thank you for sparing my life."

I nodded numbly.

" But I ask one thing from you, since you're in my debt."

He nodded.

"I want you to stay away from me, I never want to see you again. I want you to live with the guilt of being the cause of your sister's death and your lover. I want you to remember, and I want you to regret!"

With that I turned away and phased not caring that my clothes were shredding, I never wanted to look back at him. I got back to the Cullen's to find them all silent from what they saw, they were surprised.

"You didn't kill him?"
Renesmee asked in disbelief. I nodded in defeat.

"I didn't kill him Nessie."
She tackled me in a hug and I felt Esme's cold touch on my arm.

"I'm glad you chose to do the right thing."

She said softly, I smiled weakly.

"I'm not sure if it was the right thing... Maybe I'm weak, but I just couldn't do it. I want him dead, but I just can't."
They all murmured about being proud, except Emmet but it's Emmet. I just nodded through it and took a shower before heading to my room sitting on my bed staring into space. I just sat there in the dark looking at nothing in particular. I heard the door open, but I didn't react to it. I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and looked to see Paul.

He didn't say anything he just kissed me, he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me deeply. I didn't want to say anything, I didn't want to think for once. For once in my life, I just wanted to feel. His hands ran through my hair and I fell back on the bed letting his body tower over mine. I moaned into his mouth and he smiled backing off.

"I'm sorry."
He said sitting up, I pouted and sat across from him letting the disappointment show on my face.

"You should be, I was enjoying your kisses."

He laughed and pecked my lips.

"I wanted to talk to you, but I got distracted."

I snorted, but once I saw how serious he was I started listening.

"Talk about what?"

He shrugged a little.

"About Jonathan... I'm proud of you, I'm glad you didn't kill him. But how are you holding up with it, with facing him again."
I took a deep breath and ran my fingers through my hair.

"No one understands Paul... I want him dead, I want him to suffer... But I don't want to cause it. What makes it worse is, that I have a right to do it! But I just can't..."

Paul cups my face in his hands and makes me look at him.

"I know it's confusing, but right now you need to focus on what's right in front of you. Move on Raven, it's time you lived."

I sighed, he was right. It was time I let this go, it was time I finally lived again. I pressed my lips to his and he pulled me closer to him not leaving any space between us. I realized something that day...

One, It's my life and I'm going to decide where it goes from here.

Two, sometimes love is the best therapy.

Three. just because Jonathan didn't die by my hand doesn't mean he's alive in my mind.

Cause maybe there's another way...

This was the last chapter, tell me if you want an Epilogue but it's over...

So review please!

-True Goddess