5
Lost In The Hub by badly_knitted was the idea behind this chap, go read it she is so brilliant and I loved this one.
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"Ianto?"
Ianto hummed down the coms as he checked the water level in the coffee machine before he flicked it on, the early morning air still crisply hanging to him as he pottered about in the top office.
"Er…is it just you or do you have stink with you?"
Ianto canted his head as he tried to work out which…ah. "How did you…Oh, you mean Owen. Owen isn't in yet Sir, why. Did that bloody Rift visitor give you a bit of bother?"
"Ahhhh"
Ianto didn't like that. Didn't like that one little bloody bit.
"Sir? What did you do?" Ianto asked calmly as he turned to check where Flynn was and he smiled softly as he saw the little one still sitting on at the front counter with his hand rubbing at his cast, "I do have Flynn with me this morning. Rhia had an appointment and couldn't take him. That is alright isn't it Sir?"
"Er"
Ianto placed the cup down and took a deep breath. "Jack?"
"Um, it's arachnid" Jack whispered as if the little boy might hear the com unit and Ianto's eyes widened as he swung to look at his son once more, the little boy's fear of spiders immense.
"Shit" Ianto spluttered "How big is it?"
"Ah, well. Cat? Maybe…small rat terrier?" Jack surmised as Ianto face palmed.
"Poisonous?"
"No, no. Gods, no. Just a bit jumpy and maybe a bit bitey if pissed" Jack laughed and Ianto now felt his own latent fear of spiders rearing its ugly head. Why do you think he cleans do fastidiously…which might actually be the saving grace here. He cleaned constantly…everywhere webs might appear.
"OK, where are you now" Ianto headed for the workstation, "Maybe thermal imaging can pick it up if it's that bloody big."
"Um"
Ianto placed his hands calmly on the desk top.
"Sir? Are you lost again?"
The little whine was all the answer Ianto needed and he resisted the face palm threatening again.
Gods.
"Well where are you now?" Ianto asked again, this time less calmly, "Look for some form of identification. Look, are you near any stairs?"
"Er…yes. Hang on, I walked up some but it was weird like I was walking up but when I stepped off it seemed darker like…damp. Lower? Shit this place reminds me of that movie with David Bowie in it…Labyrinth. That stair case scene, you know where they seem to go up and down for ever"
"Escher's Stair Case, it's all about relativity really, ummm" Ianto hummed as he tapped the desk, then sighed "Jack did you go in the opposite direction to where you just came from?"
"Shit. Think so. Nope. Can't find them!" Jack's voice was overly light and energetic which told Ianto he was on the verge of panicking now.
"OK" Ianto rubbed his face, "Look on the walls as you walk, about shoulder height for some big red lettering and numbers."
"Huh"
"You passed some?" Ianto said slowly, "Turn on your heel and walk EXACTLY where you just came from."
"Silly really, a galactic Time Agent and former solder but I'm damned if I know my way around this place in…HAH! Found it. Um…let's see…"Okay, I see it. There's a red circle with C 97 written inside it."
"Good, that means you're on level 20 south, in corridor 97. If you go straight across the intersection, 97 and head to the other side, then follow it until you reach the intersection with corridor 85 then turn left and follow 85 until you see a staircase on your right; that'll take you up five levels."
"Got it." Jack set off, then "Ianto? Corridor 80 what?"
"85" Ianto said calmly as he rose and went back to the coffee machine, "Follow 85 to the left until a staircase pops up on your right. Go up five levels."
"I'm here; now what?"
"Turn left into C 82 and keep going until you reach the junction with C 54." Ianto said softly as he tamped the coffee grains "Take a left and follow 54 until it divides, then take 33. You'll come to a staircase on your left; go up eight flights, that'll get you to level seven."
"Ianto? You lost me at 33. Wait, wait I found it. Ha ha! Shit, wait lost the torch…er…shit. Wait. Hah. Found it, great torch this. I like the big ones, how long have we had these stuck on the walls like emergency thingiees?"
"Since I put them there last year. A lot to searching before finding Lisa's room" Ianto replied softly as he counted off the shot and flicked it off, "Have you found the green door?"
"Yeah" Jack huffed, "Wait. How the hell…do you have a map? I don't have a map. Lived here for over a hundred or so years and I don't have a bloody map. How did you get one of those?"
"Jack" Ianto said as he turned and finished frothing the milk, making the cups of coffee and hot chocolate, "Eidetic memory, remember? I have this entire place in my head and I still get turned around some times."
"Ah"
"What?" Ianto paused with the spoon half way to the cup of coffee, a couple of granules of sugar tumbling off.
"Er. Is this a good time to also tell you I'm naked?"
Ianto calmly put the spoon down and breathed deeply.
Christ Almighty on a stick…it was going to be one of those days.