Sharrkan

I didn't know how I couldn't see this coming. It was just my luck that there was a snowstorm. I even checked beforehand to make sure, but I guess even the weatherman is wrong sometimes.

Being alone with her wasn't a problem- the problem was in how long I would be stuck here. Now I didn't have any trouble with women- ever. Hell, I didn't have any trouble with anyone ever. I could talk myself out of any situation with minimal to no effort most days. It annoyed me how I couldn't say anything, even after all this time has passed.

And what annoyed me even more was while she worked away I was convinced that she didn't even think I existed at the moment. Rarely she would even look up, and whenever she did it was just to see that I wasn't sabotaging her. I couldn't make conversation properly. Whenever I began to talk I would insult her. It was embarrassing and frustrating at the same time.

I watched as she moved her hair strands away from her porcelain face. I had convinced myself ever since I was young that I didn't like this girl. But deep down I knew that there were some feelings left. Which made me mad at both myself and her.

"Well, we're done with the keyboard. We should let it dry for a while." she said. "Want me to make some more tea or hot chocolate while we wait?"

"I don't need anything." I answered. All I needed was to get out of there. I didn't need her to pull me back into a useless pit of unreciprocated feelings. "Do you have snowshoes that I could walk home in?" I didn't even know whether or not I was being serious or joking.

"No- but I think we have huskies which you can command to take you home in a sleigh, would you like that? Would you like a sleigh?"

"Nice, but I think I'd rather wait then." I scooted over closer to the wall and leaned on it.

Much to my surprise there she was scooting over closer to me. I thought she looked ridiculous with three layers of sweaters on and wrapped in a fuzzy pink blanket like a cocoon.

"So what do you want to do?" she asked me. I knew she was too close to me because I could feel her breath on my neck.

"Whatever, it's your house." I replied. I knew I wasn't acting like myself. I couldn't really act like myself if I was going to be alone with her for so long. It would be fine to let my guard down around others or if it's for a short amount of time, but nothing scared me more than if I let others see me when I'm just with them one on one.

"Why are you acting so cold all of a sudden?" She cocked her head to the side. "Did I do something?" The genuine concern in her voice hurt me.

"No- it's not you. I'm just cold."

"Oh, I thought it was because of yesterday. I know Pisti embarrassed you, but you don't have to worry about me judging you too hard with stuff like that." She nudged me on the shoulder.

"Well that's reassuring," I said half heartedly.

"But if I may ask you one thing- how are you able to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Be with so many people- I mean I know it's a stupid question, but I've always wondered that about the people who date a lot of girls and guys."

I took a deep breath. "I don't really date- I just hang out with them, and you know-" I didn't want to finish my sentence. It wasn't that I was embarrassed, just to say it out loud made me feel kind of ashamed.

"Oh, well I figured that out."

"Boy, it was my goal to make that seem obvious." I sneered.

"No, like I said before, I won't judge. I'm just thinking that it's kind of funny how we're opposites. You're smooth enough to talk to lots of people and make them like you- and I haven't even kissed anyone yet." She wrapped her arms around her knees. "Honestly, I'm a bit envious of people like you."

"Wait you haven't even kissed a person yet?!" I exclaimed. "Like not even once?"

She shook her head. "Nope, I'm really awkward when it comes to people I like. I think I weird them out because I'll stutter or just babble about something irrelevant." She took a deep sigh. "Which is why when I see people like you and Pisti who are so open and able to say whatever, I can't help but want to do the same. For once I'd like to not be scared."

I wanted to tell her that I was scared too- terrified really, and I didn't even know the source of my fear most of the time. Talking to others and being with new people for a short amount of time was what made me forget about my problems and feel good.

"Just don't be scared." I replied.

"Wow, thanks for the advice." She rolled her eyes."But really, I'm wondering how you don't get attached. Like I would be afraid to get attached to someone who doesn't feel the same way. Or even how to turn down someone who got attached to you."

"I don't know it hasn't happened to me." It really hasn't. Not that I knew of, anyway. There were some people that disliked me a bit after, but it wasn't due to them liking me- it was because they were possessive. I wasn't. And I never wanted to be. "I make it clear what I want early on so I don't waste people's time and they don't waste mine by becoming clingy."

"Really? But I thought that at least one person who really like you would at least try to fight for you." She sighed loudly and stretched her arms outwards. "I mean Priscilla- I swear you guys had a connection."

"How do you know?" I asked her. Priscilla was nice yes, but I was sure about her being on the same page as me. She would refer me to go after other girls and we'd have small contests along with Pisti to see just how many people each of us could attract within a week.

"Because I seen the way she looks at you. It only took me once to figure out she really really likes you."

"Looks don't mean anything. I could look at you however I want, won't change how I feel."

"Yes well, the seething hate in your eyes could be easily masked if you put on some sunglasses."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, you're wrong." I said quickly, half regretting my words and half wishing I had said them louder. She looked at me as if she was expecting a follow up explanation, but I had none to give her. Because I myself didn't understand what the hell I just said.

Was she wrong? Did I actually hate her? I found her annoying at times yes, and the amount of questions she asked made me want to tell her off, but I didn't. I couldn't. And I didn't know why. I didn't even know why I was here in the first place. I could have refused. She would have to fix a computer herself. Then at least I wouldn't have to deal with thinking about whether or not I was here because I felt something or because I was trying to do good- or maybe even I was trying to go back to the past.

"What do you mean?" she finally asked.

I didn't answer. "You smell like a grandma." It wasn't exactly a good diversion, but I knew she was going to be occupied enough with the remark to forget about her question- for some time at least.

She held one of the many sweaters she had on to her face. She put the lemon colored wool up to her nose. "Hm- I guess I do. Drinking a lot of camomile tea will do that to you. Speaking of which- have you changed your mind about having something to eat or drink?"

"Sure." I said. "I would like some soup- or anything warm really. I feel like I'm getting frozen." I rubbed my hands together. My conversation with Yamuraiha made me forget about how cold I actually was. And I was really cold. I began to contemplate putting on my large coat.

"Well if it's warm soup, then you gotta help me make it."

It took me a minute to realize she was being serious and not joking. "Like actually cut vegetables and stuff?"

"Yes, cutting vegetables is part of the deal." She laughed and covered her mouth. "So will you help me or do you just want to sit here and collect dust?" She extended her arm for me take, expecting me to agree with her idea.

"Collect dust." I said, stubbornly crossing my arms.

She pursed her lips and also crossed her arms just as stubbornly as I did. I wanted to laugh at how much older that made her look, but I didn't say anything. "Fine, I'll make it myself then."

A small victory for myself. "Glad we are on the same page," I picked up a book off the floor and flipped through it.

"And I'll eat it all myself too." she sneered. "So good luck to you," she grinned, showcasing the dimples at the sides of her mouth.

"Seriously? I just helped you! Did I not just help you glue back stupid keys to your stupid computer?" I put the book down. "You can at least repay with this. Because of you I'm going to have to chew my foot off to survive, this is just preposterous." I was exaggerating, but seriously who would deny a man some warm food in -30 degree Celsius weather?!

"I'm joking, you big loser." She took off the cocoon blanket which she was wrapped in. "I'll be in the kitchen making it," she stretched. "You just stay put and don't touch any of the boxes here. There's not much to do, but we have a few books and working radio- but no Beyonce."

"Yes I wouldn't want to break anything with my terrible dancing." I teased.

She sighed. "Yeah, just be careful. I don't want my dad thinking I had broken his computer- let alone that I had someone over."

"Yeah, cause I'm the type of person that dad would love to have over in his daughter's house when she's home alone." I couldn't believe how bitterly I said that.

She wore a confused look. "I mean- I don't know." For once she was at a loss for words, not coming up with a follow up question or snarky remark. "Does it even matter that much?"

"No, I'm just joking." I said quickly.

She silently nodded. And then walked off into the kitchen. I heard her open a squeaky sounding cupboard and pots and pans rattled out. She cursed. I was tempted to go there and try to help, but I wouldn't move. My body just froze.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"Yeah, some pots fell over- don't worry about it." she called back.

I sighed and went back to the book that I put on the floor. It was 'Hamlet'. Funny enough, our school was putting on a play about it and I was cast as dying man number four. I had no idea why I had to be in the play other than my English teacher would give me some bonus marks.

I read a few pages of the book (more like almost a third of it, I'm a fast reader), and Yamuraiha came back into the living room. Her was hair tied back into a pony tail and a dirty white apron with various stains on it. She put her hands on her hips, waiting for me to say something.

"You look good," I joked.

She scoffed. "Thanks idiot. I put the soup on the stove, it's cooking now." She sat down beside me. "Hamlet is one of my favorite books."

"Huh- oh," I looked at the cover of the book stupidly, forgetting what I had just read. "It's okay, we were assigned to read it in class."

Her eyes lit up. "Ah isn't it a really good story?! I know it's old and there's a lot wrong with, but it's amazing how the themes are still relevant today…" She went on and on about how Hamlet was something really original back in the day and how gutsy a story it was. I just shut up and listened to her. After a while her words melted together and created a sort of hum. I didn't want to admit how much I liked that hum. It was relaxing to be there and sit with someone so passionate about something as trivial as an old book I didn't even bother to read in class. But she made it seem like an adventure. Her over exaggerated hand movements, the way she would smile every time I nodded that I was still listening, and how well she knew it made me laugh. But I didn't feel embarrassed when I did because whenever she made a stupid play on words she would also laugh to herself.

"And then when Ophelia dies-"

"Wait she dies?!" I exclaimed. Honestly, I was mad at this revelation as I thought Ophelia seemed pretty cool. "How?!"

"She drowns herself. Her dad dies, Hamlet is terrible to her and she's really stressed." She sighed. "Was the book not given to you to be read by your teacher?!" she said, alarmed.

"It looked stupid." I admitted. "I wasn't going to read it, I guess I don't need to anyways, since you just spoiled the whole thing for me." It was really a good thing that she did, at least know I knew what I was supposed to know about the book instead of reading short summaries off of the Internet.

"Could have stopped me anytime."

"Could have, but didn't." I smiled, and so did she.

"Well, I better get going," she high fived my open palm (which wasn't open for a high five by the way, I was tired of holding the book). "Soup is probably almost done, I made a small pot so it's ready faster."

We sat next to one another on stools and ate off the island counter. The soup was good, warm. Her kitchen was rustic looking- way different than my aunt's modern looking one. Then again, this was one of the few houses which didn't get completely remodelled yet.

"You have to make me promise you'll finish reading Hamlet,"

"Huh?" I said, my mouth full of soup. "Why?"

"Weren't you interested just now?" She stirred the soup clockwise with her spoon. The silver would hit the floral print ceramic ever so often.

"Maybe, or maybe I was being polite." I took another spoonful into my mouth.

"Either way, can't just leave a book unfinished like that." She stopped stirring. "You have to at least skim it to find out."

"I don't know if I care enough,"

"Well then how about a wager- you finish reading this book within two days and I'll give you forty five dollars. "

"What makes you think I need money-" And then I got an idea into my head. "Fine let's make a wager, but I want to choose the prize, you fine with that?" She nodded. "Okay if I finish reading this within the next two days, when school is back in session you have to try out for the school play."

Horror was painted over her face. "I can't act?! Also how is this better than money?!"

"I don't know watching you fail miserably is probably going to be priceless. Besides you know the book by heart how bad could it be?"

"Really bad!"

"You have the choice to refuse, if you're afraid."

"I'm not I just don't want to look stupid."

"Okay then you don't audition and I don't finish the book, that's very fair."

And she took my hand into hers. "Deal." I noticed how dry and cracked they were. "Now are you done eating? Want me to wash the dishes?" she asked.

"No I can do it." I insisted. "I actually like washing dishes." I lied. Well, there was no need to make her dry hands worse than they were now was there?

Okay, I uploaded this on my phone and it was super hard to do so because I had to try not to touch parts of screen or else it would edit it involuntarily. Anyways, if somethings off please tell me so I can fix it. As I said before English isn't my first language and I wrote this one a phone so there's going to be mistakes. I thought it would be neat to do something from his perspective and I tried keeping him in character. There's going to be a part 2 to this chapter. Hope you like it so far! PLEASE REVIEW!