A/N: Just a little heads-up/reader warning. This chapter contains a light sex scene. If you don't like reading sex scenes, then I suggest you skip the content between the fourth and fifth break line.

Chapter 2: Let's All Get Along

In the vast emptiness of space, and within the metal confines of a UNSC ship took place a protest. The orange soldier, Grif and the one belonging to Chorus by the name of Bitters took a stand against the chef. They both shouted one thing and one thing only. "We want pudding! We want pudding!"

Simmons watched the show from afar as he greeted Matthews entering from the farthest entrance. The motivational speaker approached the tech 'expert' of the red team and asked. "Are they still going at it?"

"Yup, apparently they are considering starting a religion based around pudding just so they can get access to it."

"Wait, how would that work?"

"Space Law Article 412 Section 12, any actions against religion based on circumstances can be ruled as a crime followed by imprisonment. So they want to take the chef to court I guess."

"All this for some pudding?"

"Apparently," Simmons remarked shaking his shoulders. "Hey, I stopped trying to make sense of half the stuff Grif does now days."

"Maybe I should go stop him," Matthews took the incentive to approach the protestors. Simmons snickered under his breath. "Good luck with that."

"Hey guys, I heard you are holding a protest for pudding," Matthews butted in between the three. The chef was relieved to see another soldier in the hopes that this one maybe able to talk some sense into the other two. Bitters agreed as his plump belly bounced up and down. "Pudding is love, pudding is life."

"You tell him Bitters!" Grif encouraged turning back to the chef. "Now, where is that bath of pudding I was promised by Muffins?!"

"Like I said before, there just isn't enough to go around," the chef noted tapping his finger on his arm. Matthews looked at both sides with a sense of astonishment. Okay, so both sides are seemingly as crazy as one another. "Guys, calm down. No need to get so worked up over pudding. I'm sure if you wait, you will get your fair share."

"Fair share?" Grif asked in a disgusted voice. "Fuck that, I want the whole thing. I need it, give it to me now, now I say!"

"Yeah, plus I feel my tummy growling already," Bitters added with the whole cafeteria hearing a lion's roar originating from his stomach. Matthews again reasoned. "Come on gang, we have to learn to share and play well with others. Else, you won't be able to work as a team."

"Ugh, just shut up Matthews!" Grif groaned in annoyance and turned to leave. "You know what? I think I will go start that pudding religion after all."

A pink soldier's sat in his room with a stereo by his side. He pressed the play button and began humming to the sound of the music. "Do, do, do, do, do, dah…do, do, do, do, do, dah…"

He took a bite of a cheese ball and washed it down with the bitter sweet taste of grape wine. "Do, do, do, do, do, dah…drink some wine, drink some wine and everyone will be happy. Eat some cheese, eat some cheese and the world will keep on going round and round…unless you are in space!"

He took another bite of the cheese, this time some cheddar cheese. "Sing along, sing along and the world will be a brighter place!"

He gulped it down with some more delicious wine. "Dance along, dance along and everyone will be merry!"

Donut suddenly stopped and looked at the loud banging that originated from the door. A gruff and hoarse, but familiar voice spoke. "Are you singing in there Donut?"

"Oh hey Sarge, yeah!" said the pink soldier as he opened the door. "Want to join in? It's tons of fun, I guarantee it!"

"Donut, how many times do I have to tell you? If you want to sing, you sing the glorious song of Red vs. Blue!"

"Oh you mean this one?" Donut quickly rubbed the mouth piece of his helmet in thought and recalled the lyrics. With a clear voice he sung. "Roses are red

Violets are blue

One day we will cruise down

Blood Gulch avenue

It's red versus red

And blue versus blue

It's I against I

And me against y-"

"Wait, what's this nonsense of red versus red, and the blue versus blue?" Sarge inquired baffled by what he heard. "Where is the glorious battle between the reds and the blues? Where is the fated moment where reds come out on top?!"

"Um…I don't think that's how the song goes Sarge."

"Well that's just ridiculous, who in their right red mind wouldn't want to sing that?" Sarge complained crossing his arms. "Also, red team rules, go team red."

"I don't know, I thought it was pretty good," said the captain of the ship. The two reds nearly jumped in their spots. Donut caught his breath. "That was not very nice Muffins. You shouldn't sneak up on people."

"Ja, sorry, sorry," the German Captain admitted but leaned forward. "I smelled some good cheese and my nose brought me here."

"Oh that? I'm having my daily wine and cheese hour," Donut pointed to the pleasantries behind him on his desk. "Want some?"

"Oh, don't mind if I do," Muffins said flexing his fingers in front of his chest. "Here I come, Mr. Delectable Cheese!"

"Well if you two start singing, sing the glorious red version of the Red vs. Blue song," Sarge mumbled turning to leave the two cheese eaters to their devices, and let them both drown in a bottle of wine.

Caboose stalked the halls with Andersmith following close behind. They browsed the various facilities of the ship together with this acting as a walk for Freckles. The two came to a stop upon Caboose's command by the recreation facilities. "Man, I sure wish they would let me back in."

"Why, what happened?" asked Caboose's walk partner. Freckles modulated his voice through the rifle. "Captain Caboose was involved in a…minor incident that caused him to be permanently banned from the recreation area, the bridge, the cafeteria-"

"Wait. Is there any place he is not banned from?"

"I seem to recall them saying something about outer space," answered Freckles as Caboose began to get worked up. "Well, I was only trying to help at that time."

"I'm sure they just misunderstood sir," Andersmith replied feeling a proud sense of usefulness in Caboose's troubles. The blue soldier happily agreed. "And thus, this is why you are my best friend number three."

"Why three?" Andersmith asked nearly cracking into disappointment. Caboose noticed the effects of his words and stumbled on his next few words. "Um, because…um, three is a lucky number?"

"My god, I never thought to think of it like that," Andersmith pondered deeply with his head down. He slowly lifted his spirits up and with it his head. "Such pure wisdom, you are a blessing to this universe."

Ohio's eyes slowly peeled open, and upon the blurred surroundings she groaned at the bare feeling against the bed. As her vision adjusted, she looked down to her slimming form outlined by the thin white bed sheets. Ohio felt the bed move with another person beside her. Let me guess who that is, Ohio thought turning to look at Sherry sleeping completely naked by her side. Ohio nearly gasped with embarrassment as she quickly looked at herself under the bed sheets. Oh, right, that was a busy night.

She covered her body with the sheet and sat up to observe the peaceful expression on Sherry's face. She bent down over her and gently kissed her forehead. Just as she was retreating, she felt a hand on the back of her smooth and silky hair. Sherry held her close to her mouth and landed a kiss right out of the ball park leaving Ohio gasping for air. "You dummy, you should have said something if you were awake."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't pamper me then," Sherry explained and laughed at the red cheeks Ohio wore. She took her partner into a hug under the bed sheets. "You know, you are so adorable when you are embarrassed like this."

The two rested their foreheads against one another wearing a blissful smile. Sherry let out a moan of satisfaction. "Don't you sometimes wish time would just freeze, and that nothing changes, that we are just here together…forever."

"Yeah," Ohio whispered gazing deeply into Sherry's eyes. "But you know what, growing old together won't be so bad either."

Sherry agreed to the sentiment. "I guess you are right. I wonder what we will be like in ten, twenty or even forty year's worth of time."

"We will both be raging dykes still I'm sure," Ohio grinned earning a gentle flick to the forehead. "And did you know? It's cute to see you all worked up Sherry."

Sherry crossed her arms and puffed up her cheeks. "Bully."

"Oh?" Ohio snuggled closer feeling their body heat melt together. "Would a bully do this?"

She kissed Sherry's nape and sent her partner moaning in pleasure. Sherry looked back with flirtatious and competitive eyes. She wasn't about to let Ohio be the only one to hold the upper hand here. She ran her hands down her partner's body, she could feel the shudder through Ohio slowly turning them both on. "So, you remember what got us into this last night in the first place?"

"That boring ass romance movie you suggested we watch, right?" Ohio responded running a long and thin finger down Sherry's spine.

"Ah…I didn't know it would be that bad."

"You have always had pretty terrible taste when it comes to romance flicks," Ohio smirked. "I can't believe how clichéd that film was that it nearly put us to sleep."

"So are you glad that I suggested this alternative activity then?" Sherry asked gripping Ohio's thigh and moving it over her body. She moved her right leg in between Ohio's leg to hear a satisfying groan. "Judging by that look and sound, I would say you were."

Ohio suddenly ran her hands up Sherry's well built torso. She gently cupped her partner's bosom and smothered them gently, massaging them to the point of fierce pleasure. Sherry nearly screamed from the contractions taking place between her legs, but held back at the last second to avoid alerting any living soul outside. She bit the bed cloth as her body shook from the after effects. Ohio grinned smugly much to Sherry's annoyance. "You got lucky this time around."

"This time around?" Ohio questioned. "If I recall correctly, this is probably something like over at least fifty times that I have gotten lucky according to you."

Sherry turned her head away too feverish from the words to properly face Ohio. The ex-Freelancer hugged Sherry from the back and rested her forehead on her back. "So, feel like going again soon?"

"You really are a horny bitch, you know that?" Sherry joked, to which Ohio agreed. "What can I say? I love a good night time Olympics session."

Tucker stood in the shooting range practicing his aim alongside Palomo. Both reloaded their weapons in unison and continued firing. Tucker noticed how much Palomo seemed to imitate his actions. To throw off his partner, he feigned a reload causing Palomo to lose his rhythm. "Aw man, I thought you were going to reload for real."

"What's the deal with you dude?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you copying my moves and shit?" Tucker asked annoyed at having Palomo stick with him nearly every conscious second of his day. The good Chorus soldier answered. "Well, I thought that if I want to be a badass, then I should start by sticking by the one who is the baddest of them all. Plus, imitation is the greatest form of flattery."

"Oh yeah," Tucker drew out his sword and swung it around. "Well, try and copy this!"

Palomo exited Tucker's line of sight. Oh finally, some peace and quiet. But soon he was back with a dummy sword. "Sorry for the wait, you wouldn't believe how hard it is to find one of these in the storage area."

Tucker lowered his gaze to the ground and nearly bit his tongue in anger. I don't even know why I expected that to work, fuck me. Palomo swung it around exactly like Tucker. If there is a god out there, then please help me and spare me this bullshit suffering. I promise I will even give up the porn…okay maybe the porn stored on my suit's storage. Giving up all of it seems like asking for too much. Tucker took out his sword and with conviction he sliced the dummy sword in half. "Palomo, I seriously, fucking, hate you."

"Aw, don't be like that," the sand colored armored soldier with aqua trims responded taking out his rifle. "I'm sure some more shooting will help that anger right on out."

"I sure would like to shoot something out with that hot pelican pilot chick, bow-chicka-bow-wow."

"What?"

"Nothing," Tucker raised his gun and began firing. Palomo was impressed by Tucker's aim and attempted to emulate it. But to no success he failed. "Wow Tucker, I didn't know your aim was so precise."

"It takes years of practice and a lot of alone time," he replied before realizing what Palomo actually said. "Oh you meant the gun shooting…whatever."

The two continued onwards with their non-busy days buffing up, practicing their aim and generally feeling like bad asses in terms of combat skills. Well that was until Washington put them back in their place showing them that they still had a lot to learn.

Doc stood in the firing range with his rocket launcher aimed at the target. With a maniacal laugh he open fired. The loud explosion created spasms of intense pleasure in his mind. "Mwhaha, yes, suck it you inanimate practice dummy!"

Lopez walked up behind the purple soldier and nearly surprised Doc into blasting the two to oblivion. "[Stop firing those rockets in the firing range. I am the one who is going to have to repair the dummies up after practice.]"

"What's that my old accomplice? You want me to use deadlier rockets?"

"[No!]"

"Well why didn't you say so earlier? I could certainly go for more scattered parts here and there like severed limbs," O'Malley went deep into an imaginative thought and said with disappointment. "Too bad we can't use live targets."

Fed up with Doc's ignorance, Lopez took the rocket launcher, broke off the handle and the trigger and handed it back to its owner. "[Knock yourself out crazy medic man.]"

Washington stalked the hallways searching for his two targets. He had them in his sights. Finally, there is no escaping this time. He sneakily approached the two and placed a firm grip on their shoulders. Bitters and Grif panicked as they looked back. Grif was quick to try and struggle, but Bitters was too busy indulging himself in his sandwich. Grif held Wash's hand trying to pry it off. "Come on man, don't be such a stickler for training!"

"Oh no you don't!" Wash said tightening his grip. "You two won't be skipping out on anymore training, not on my watch!"

Grif swung his arms backwards nearly hitting Wash in the visor, but the ex-Freelancer managed to kick Grif down to the floor and started to drag the two away. Bitters was too busy chomping on the delicious steak sandwich to notice his abduction. Grif snatched the sandwich right out of Bitters' hand hearing a rather disturbing cry like that of a child. Wow, not only has his stomach become more circular, his mind becomes like a five year old when it comes to food. Grif smirked threatening to throw it on the floor. "I'm going to do it Bitters!"

"No you won't, you never waste food!"

"I ain't afraid!"

"Then I double dare you. Do it!"

Grif released his grip on the sandwich. Bitters' eyes widened with a gasp of shock discharging from his mouth. He found unfathomable strength in his large body and pushed away from Wash. Before the sandwich made friends with the ground, He managed to catch most of it in his fat hands and breathed a sigh of relief. "Safe!"

Wash moved to restrain Bitters, but was forced to let go of Grif in their current placements. He warned Grif to stay down, but without hesitation the orange soldier stood up and ran away. Washington grunted and held out an open hand. "Wait!"

"What's that I hear?" Grif yelled back. "I think that's the sound of nachos calling me out for a snack date."

I will get you yet Grif, Wash wondered pulling Bitters away to his bitter fate of training and lose the fat. "No, wait. My sandwich…uwwwaaahhhh!"

"You are making a valiant sacrifice Bitters, I always knew you were a great subordinate all this time," Grif complimented before taking the turn towards the cafeteria. Bitters words now fell on deaf ears. "I'm not brave, don't leave me. If you are going to the cafeteria, tell the chef to make me a subway!"

Darryl slid a glass of scotch on the rock towards Idaho. He took a sip and felt the chill expand through his mouth and to the rest of his body. He held up the glass gratefully towards Darryl and turned to Terrill and Iowa. "Oh, I got another one. Name five things that you would want to do if you were stuck in a room full of sweet delights."

"Um, roll around in the cream!" Iowa announced. Idaho counted it down. Terrill took a sip of his beer and said. "Jump face first into the muffins and cakes."

"That's two."

"How about making a smiley face with the cup cakes?"

"Yeah, I can get down with that," Idaho replied half emptying his cup. "So that's three."

"Give everything a good licking so it becomes all yours," Terrill answered. "Gotta prepare in case someone finds you right?"

"Another one would be to just straight up eat it until your tummy starts to swell up," Iowa rubbed his tummy only to imagine the sweet savory delights melting in his mouth. The group all chugged down their drinks together and looked out the window at the various colors of the space warp wormhole. Terrill cleared his throat after chewing down on his ice and asked. "So, how long till we get to our first location?"

"Who knows?" said Darryl sipping the last of the drink. "Only the people on the bridge would be able to give you that kind of information."

"Or ask those little fairies I guess," Iowa stated only to be corrected by Idaho rather quickly. "I keep telling you Iowa, they are not fairies. They are A.I."

"What's the 'A' stand for?"

"Artificial."

"How about the 'I'?"

"Intelligence."

"Oh I get it," Iowa took a moment to process the thought before again asking. "Sorry but what did the 'A' stand for again?"

"Let's just move on," Idaho answered as the group put down their glasses. He looked to Darryl and said. "Your drinks even after all this time haven't lost their edge. You gotta teach me one of these days how you prepare them so well."

"Yeah, then you can get piss drunk like us every day," Terrill replied already feeling a little woozy after having what was his twentieth glass for today. Iowa raised his arms in a cheer. "Hooray for piss drinking!"

"Owohh, so close buddy, so close," Idaho replied cringing at the picture of piss drinking.

"Gentlemen, we are fast approaching the exit," said Sigma as the other fragments appeared behind him. The bridge crew looked at the nearing exit of the wormhole. Buttmunch looked at the communications officer and said. "Make a ship wide announcement for the captain to come back to the bridge."

"Yes sir."

Delta studied the data and passed on his conclusions to the other fragments. "It seems that this group will be quite unique as our first encounter."

The other fragments agreed at seeing the 'different' personalities compromising the groups of reds and the blues. Muffins walked onto the bridge wobbly from the wine and leaned on Boyscout for support. "Hmm, have you been working out because I spot a nice ass."

Boyscout immediately dropped him on the metal floor. "Oops, my bad."

Muffins grumbled on the floor as he scrapped his body against the support railings. "I so love it when you play hard to get."

"Um sir?" one of the female bridge crew members asked only to be quietened at the sudden glare from the German captain. He snarled and sneered her way. When it came to the men, his expression softened and treaded in to the creep territory. Muffins eyed their ship engineer Williams and slid in close. "So handsome, got any plans going on later?"

Buttmunch held Muffins by his head and swung it around to face the holographic displays. "Sir, we are almost at our destination. We didn't call you up here just so you could flirt and disrupt the flow of our work."

Muffins nearly gasped. "You people work up here? I thought everyone was up here for shits and giggles."

Boyscout stared in bewilderment and stated. "I can't tell if he is serious or not and that's very concerning."

The whole ship shook with tremors vibrating through the hull as they exited the wormhole. In front of them was a brown planet. To those on the ship it seemed farfetched for anyone to survive on there for long, but the data pings from the red's and the blue's base seemed to be very active. Muffins straightened out his uniform and asked for one of the ship's crew members to call up Agent Washington. "He will want to see this."

The ship slowly eased closer until it was just beyond the stratosphere and hovered still. The BGC entered the ship's bridge and looked at the planet before them. Washington nodded his head and smiled under the helmet. "Alright, time to get to work."

A/N: So that sex scene must have been quite the surprise. But I put it in there to try and show off a more playful relationship between Ohio and Sherry. Sure they have flirted before, but being in the public eye, I felt that they would never be able to let loose and show their true selves unlike being in the private company of one another.

Other than that, this was meant to be more or less a take it easy kind of chapter, with more focus on the comedy. Next chapter however will really move things along. I hope you found at least some of the things in here funny.

Constructive feedback is always appreciated!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for your readership! :)

~ Monty