It's been weeks since I've been working here with Ash in the Queen's castle. I felt restless for some reason, maybe it's because I'm not eating properly due to not getting fed by...souls. It's scary to think about it, but I do need to eat. I was dazing out as I also felt nauseous, slowly wanting to puke but I know that nothing will come out since I haven't ate anything like literally NOTHING. I can even say I starved myself because no food can satisfy me. I didn't want to be weak and crawl back to Sebastian because he already knows that I can't survive without him. He's my only resource of food and shelter, I guess.
"Elena…" I was shaken by the shoulder. I slowly gazed up at the person like a zombie wanting to eat brain. My complexion was very pale now since I haven't ate, and also didn't have much energy left in me before I pass out.
"Yes..?" A weak whisper came out from my pale pink lips as I stared up at Ash, who was staring down at me, worriedly with his eyes narrowing from my poor and sick condition that I was in right now.
He sat down next to me, rubbing my back. "You need to eat. You look bad, almost close to dead." He moved his hands to hold onto mine, squeezing it firmly, making me feel a bit better but not totally better.
"I'm sorry. My child is picky with its food that I eat, but I'll take care of my health, don't worry." I tried to ease him, but I know that he wasn't buying it. In this state, I might even die… I can feel it running through my veins like my blood is turning cold. Ash is a great person and a gentleman, but I'm missing something in my life. Something didn't feel complete in my life and it felt very old. There was a void in my heart that wasn't there before. Ash was too nice to me..maybe I- no, I don't. I'm not turning back. I felt for a reason.
"Elena, look at me," He lifted up my chin to stare at my eyes. "I'm worried about you and your health. Please find something to eat before you start hurting yourself. I care very much about you, close enough to say I love you."
Woah woah woah...that escalated quickly. Yeah Ash is like a Prince to me with good qualities but I couldn't bring myself to say I have feelings for him. It just felt wrong in some means. Being too shocked from his words, I couldn't say anything even with my mouth hanging open.
He now stroked my hair gently with his fingers lacing through each strands of my hairs. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything right now. I know I said a lot and you just need to process it...but I do love you, Elena." He tucked the hairs that was blocking my face behind my ears. "I won't be here for a few days because of the Queen giving me special orders. Please stay here and take good care of yourself. Goodbye." He kissed my hand and left me alone.
As I sat alone, I had thoughts trailing in my head and I mumbled out, "I miss Sebastian." That void in my heart was missing Sebastian. His bitchy-self that I missed the most. Ash was just too much of a nice guy. I don't mind nice guys, but they're just too much right now. I unconsciously rubbing my bump as my thoughts lingered about him. "You miss him too, right, baby?" I talked down to the fetus. "Ah…!" I bent over in pain, taking that pain as answer to 'yes'. "This child is going to kill me if I don't get food by Sebastian. I don't want his help, but I need it because I'm not demon like him that could easily get souls like him." I painfully chuckled, feeling each pain from my lower stomach by the demon child.
Just as Ash said, he wasn't here in the castle. It felt lonely not to talk to someone that I knew. Ash was the only person who I did talk to. I didn't have any duties to do, so I went out of the castle to find Sebastian. I didn't know at heart if I'm really admitting that I do want him or not. I'm just utterly confused with the word 'love'. I've been hurt and betrayed with the one that I actually loved with my heart and soul to be rejected and used. I had a horrible past to begin with.
I road a carriage to the manor. "Long time no see…" I whispered with my tone a bit happy than dreadful. I got off the carriage and paid the man who drove it. After that, I walked all the way to the entrance and knocked on the door. I was waiting to see Sebastian opening the door with his cocky smirk, but I got was one of the other maids that worked in the manor. "Um, hi, where's Sebastian?" I asked the maid.
Her troubled expression told me everything. It let my heart and hopes down. When I actually thought I'll see him just for food because I'm slowly dying here. "I see…" I mutter out as the maid heard me. I turned around and was about to leave before she called me out, "wait!" I turned around to stare at her.
"This is what we heard what happened to them…" she ushered me inside as she told me what happened.
I finally came back from the manor to the castle. "Where were you, Elena? I was looking for you…!" Ash ran to me, gripping onto my shoulders in a firm grip as his eyes were popping out at me, seeing that I'm here...and fine.
"I just went in town to look around since I-" I was harshly cut off by him.
"YOU CANNOT LEAVE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!" His anger shot out of nowhere like a lighting firecracker.
With a shocked expression, I couldn't tell if this was the real Ash that I was looking at. He would never yell or raise his voice at me like that, or was it just an illusion like Sebastian said, he was a fallen angel, numerous times that Sebastian had to keep on reminding me but I wouldn't listen.
"Ash." Instead of trembling voice that I would usually use when I was scared, it changed to a growl. I furrowed my eyebrows together.
Eyes widening, he bowed instantly to me, knowing what he did wrong. "I'm sorry. I-I was just scared...to lose someone close to me...that is you." It was supposed to sound romantic like in those plays I went to as a child, but now that I'm older, it was the most cheesiest line I ever heard in reality and to my face.
"If you cared about me, please don't yell at me when I come back." I harshly spoke to him, staring right in the eyes at him. "I know I'm casting off a harsh vibe because I'm just irritated right now. I'm going to bed. Goodnight." I walked off to my quarters.
Ash POV:
I thought she was onto me, knowing that I was a fallen angel, but I guess she doesn't listen to Sebastian no matter how many time he told her that I was one.
I did suspect that something was off from her since she was giving off her anger and irritation at me. I just didn't want to lose her because I need to kill that child inside of her. It's already killing her as I speak right now. It's only hungry for souls, if there's no souls then it eats her and she must've known that a long time ago when she entered this castle.
I chuckled sinisterly, knowing that she doesn't know what happened to the Sebastian and Ciel. I walked out from the castle to the dungeon where Sebastian was located.
I walked down many flights of stairs down to where the deep ends were located. I walked to the only cellar that glowed out light. I opened the door as it creaked, waking up Sebastian in the process. "Tch…" He spat out at me.
"Elena seems to be fine living with me. She seems to be more better than she was living with you." I smirked at him to make him jealous.
"Good. I don't have to care about what happens to her." He bluntly replied, not caring a damn about her or not even trying to ask about her.
I turned my back at him, not wanting to face him. "Are you that heartless to not care about your baby mama? She's dying for god's sake. Her pale skin and lip, tired bored eyes, fragile like a feather, cold to the touch, I'm going to kill that child for her to survive and to cleanse her heart, soul, and body." I whipped my head to look at him. "I see your eyes widening. Are you scared for her?"
He kept his eyes on me.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'. Why be scared if you let her go and threw her out? If you wanted her to be with you, you could've been nicer and let her in, but you didn't for your own reason of not loving her. You don't have to love her but love the child. She's just your disposal of another soul to eat when the child comes out, isn't she?" I didn't get an answer from him. At least he's listening. "I think she misses you, but I'll erase those memories of you since you were a bad man in her life, making her suffer in the manor and forcing her to hold that child of yours. Goodbye. I'm going to check up on Mama Elena." I waved before closing the cellar door.
Sebastian POV:
I growled in irritation and anger. How dare his do this to her? The more I'd say, the more he would try to resolve the situation. Being chained up didn't help and with Ciel not commanding me, it sucks because I can't release my true nature to him.
"Elena…" I whispered out her name in shaky breath. "I'll come and save you before that angel does anything to harm you and the child you carry in your human womb." I swore to myself and to her even though she couldn't hear me or even know the situation I'm going through at this moment.