When I awoke on Friday, I wasn't really ready to face the day. All of my limbs were aching and sore, especially my neck. But I had already stayed in bed for an extra fifteen minutes, and I was on the verge of not having enough time to eat breakfast. I forced myself to sit up in my super comfy bed. Was it just me, or does it only seem to get comfier during the times it was most important for me to get up?
Before I could somehow convince myself it would be best to stay asleep, I pushed the covers away from my and stood up. Shuffling over to the mirror on the opposite side of the room, I took in the two empty beds in the room. Alice and Lily must have already gone to breakfast... So nice of them to wake me...
Raising my arms in to the air for the ultimate stretch, I met my own eyes in the mirror.
I looked so different. Not on the outside, but the inside. Outside, I still had my long brown hair, bright blue eyes, and medium sized nose. But on the inside, I was tainted. I was filled with guilt and anxiety.
I couldn't stand to look at myself anymore, so I walked back over to my bed, pulling my trunk from under my bed and finding a simple black dress to wear under my Hogwarts robes.
Sighing, I quickly got dressed and then walked back to the mirror to brush my thick hair.
Not one time did I look myself in my criminal blue eyes.
I focused my attention on my hair, wondering whether or not I should put it up or leave it down, each movement of my arms causing a sharp pain to race from limb to limb.
Before I could pull my locks through an elastic to form a perfect ponytail, I dropped the wavy lengths and gasped.
It couldn't be. This couldn't have possibly gotten worse.
But it had.
I brushed my hair of my shoulder and looked at my neck.
I didn't even have to use a smaller mirror to view the flame mark on my neck anymore. It had grown and spread far enough around my throat so that I could see it without even trying.
Well that definitely cancelled my ponytail plans...
Instead I dug through a little box of mine, searching for some concealer or really anything that would hide the mark. Finally my hands brushed against a skin coloured powder and I started to apply it to my neck layer after layer until I couldn't see it anymore.
With one glance at the watch on my wrist, I realized I really did not have any time to eat breakfast at all, and hurried to grab my books, parchment, and quills, running off so I wasn't late for my first lesson of the day.

After my first three lessons, it was lunch. And if I was feeling terrible this morning, I was even worse now.
"Ellie, are you okay?" Asked Sirius worriedly. Me, Sirius, and James were all walking into the Grand Hall. Alice and Lily were off in the library, cramming for some 'surprise' potions assignment, and Remus was resting in his room, since the full moon was so close and all.
I was a little bit annoyed, to be honest, that he was spending the day locked away in his room. I knew for a fact that pure-bred werewolves had the worse change at the full moon. The official change, as well as the days leading up to it, were way worse for me, physically and mentally. So I was kind of angry that Remus spent the day relaxing.
But nobody knew my secret, other than Dumbledore, so I really didn't want to give anyone a reason to suspect anything.
"Yeah... I'm fine just a little-" I was cut off by the sound of three or four cups hitting the stone floor. I had my hand on my forehead,which I will admit kind of obstructed my sight.
I realized after a few moments of my standing there stupidly with my palm pressed against my face, that I had been the one to knock down the cups. Looking around the large room, I noticed that several people had turned to look at me.
"Well, you really don't look OR seem very fine." James placed a hand on my arm and gently started tugging me towards the door. Before I could take more than three or four steps, though, black spots started clouding my vision and I felt nauseous. This had happened to me before, so I wasn't really surprised by it, but Sirius and James looked kind of panicked.
"Steady there, blue eyes. Don't want to hurt yourself." Sirius said, putting his hand on the opposite arm as James. Together they lead me all the way back to the common room. Well, not exactly lead, per say, since they were supporting most of my weight, but either way, I got there.
Once we were inside, James and Sirius looked at each other.
"We can't exactly bring you up to the girls dormitory..." James mumbled and looked around the room, "But if you want, we could probably bring you up to our room and you can rest with Remus..." He gave me a look, obviously searching for an answer. Honestly I didn't really care where we went at this point. I just wanted to sleep.
I nodded weakly and the two boys brought me up the stairs and into their room. I looked around for Remus, and quickly spotted him sitting by the window, book in hand.
Looking up, a bit of shock flew through his handsome features, and he closed the hard cover novel.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" I smiled slightly at the fact that he had just called me sweetheart, which made my heart flutter a little. But when James let go of my arm for a moment, I almost collapsed onto the red carpeted floor.
Concern edged into my boyfriends face, he reached forwards and swiftly picked me up from where I was barely standing, and carried me over to a bed that I was assuming was his.
"What wrong with her." He turned and asked his two friends standing by the door.
"Beats us! On minute we were walking into the Grand Hall for lunch, and the next she's pale as a sheet and almost face first in the ground." Sirius explained, using multiple useless sound effects with his hands while talking.
Remus just frowned and waved Sirius and James away. Once they were gone, he looked down at me.
"Are you sick, pumpkin?"
"I like when you use little pet names for me." I smiled and mumbled, honestly feeling completely exhausted and all I really wanted to do was sleep. I rolled over in the bed to find a more comfortable position and closed my eyes.
"Ellie, what in the world is that?" I heard him exclaim. Shit. When I had rolled over, my hair had flopped to the side, revealing my neck. The makeup most have smudged or something, leaving the dark flame marks to become clear on my light skin.
"I... I don't know what you mean, Remus..." I grumbled into the nearest pillow, desperate to not have to talk about this now.
"You must know exactly what I mean, Elektra." Crap. He used the full name.
Rolling over, I met his eyes. I knew I looked horrible. My eyes had dark circles under them, my hair a frizzed mess. But I decided to use that to my advantage.
"Can we not talk about it now. I really don't feel well. I'm soooo tired..." I topped it off with a big yawn, adding sound and everything.
"No, Elektra, I really think-"
"Remus. Please." I cut him off, giving him a look that said, 'don't mess with me right now.'
I saw his eyes soften up, and I know I had won.
I felt horrible enough as it was, with the full moon so close and the already present guilt. But right at that moment, I decided to let it all go. All the guilt and terrible feelings, I wasn't going to worry about them. They would just hold me back from fighting the true problems.
One day, I would defeat Fuego, and after that, I would be free to tell Remus whatever I wanted about pure-bred werewolves. And that was a promise. A promise to myself, and a silent promise to Remus.
Rolling back over, no longer caring about the stupid mark, I got comfortable once again.
Seconds later, I heard Remus sigh, then felt the bed moving down under our combined weight. He pulled back the sheets and laid down next to me, holding me lightly in his arms.
I moved yet again so that I could be closer to him, and I drifted off to the feeling of him placing a kiss lightly on the top of my head.
We spent the rest of the day cuddling, sleeping, and occasionally having quiet, whispered conversations. Not once did he bring the flames back up. We stayed like that until his roommates joined us again, and he walked me over to my room, kissing my lips lightly before returning to his friends.
When I crawled into my own bed, I thought about today. It had been a simple, lazy day spent with the best person ever.
It was then, right before drifting back into a heavy sleep, that I thought to myself, "There's no need to feel guilty. I'll tell him at some point. Maybe not now, but when things get better. Soon."
And then I dozed off into a dark, dreamless sleep, happy that I was no longer going to make myself suffer or torture myself about my hidden secret. The secret itself was torture enough.