I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! The play, stressful as it was, went surprisingly well. XD

But yeah I really wasn't going to update, but then I realized how ridiculously behind I am on What Ifs (this ones from a review on chapter 14) and I decided that I should write rather than read. Or both! Hee!

So if you want to send me a Turkey Day present, Do review. Eeee.

This might be a bit crazy because its nearly 1 in the morning. You hath been warned.

"Talk" think ((moi))

What If…

Yuffie 'accidentally' handcuffed Cloud and Leon together

and they couldn't find the keys?

((as suggested by the lovely tarutaruanimegal))

"Well you're irresponsible!"

"Well you should pull the stick out of your ass!"

Yuffie sighed as she watched Cloud fight with his boyfriend, Leon, for the fourth time that week. She shifted in her chair at the kitchen table, absentmindedly sipping her tea as Cloud threatened to throw the spaghetti at Leon. I swear I might have to resort to drastic measures if I don't get to eat because of my over-reacting roommate… She continued to think dark thoughts as she watched her dinner get splattered over the floor. She twitched and stood up from the table as a new bout of fighting began over the mutilated dinner.

"Hey," Yuffie started, trying to cut in between them.

She was hastily ignored as Cloud stormed over to the fridge. "Look what you made me do! Now we have nothing to eat-"

"Guys…"

"If you would just relax once in a while then this wouldn't have happened-"

"Hello?"

"But noo I have to make dinner for my stick-in-the-ass boyfriend because he won't go out-"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!?"

Cloud was silenced at Yuffie's outburst, only just realizing that she was indeed in the room.

"Now," she said calmly, "I am going to get Chinese food. You two better be civilized when I return or face the consequences."

She stormed out of the kitchen and out the door into the stormy weather, intent on making a pitstop before going to get food.

--------------------((break))--------------

As Yuffie stepped in the door with food, she realized that something was off. It's quiet… she thought as she walked towards the kitchen. Too quiet.

Sure enough, she walked into the kitchen to find that Leon and Cloud were having a decide-all Arm wrestling match while occasionally muttering insults at one another.

Yuffie let out a cry of frustration and set down the food angrily on the table. She pulled something out of her pocket as she walked over towards the two boys.

"Just give up, jackass-"

"Not on your life pretty boy."

"That's enough boys." Yuffie said as she quickly whipped a pair of handcuffs over the two's linked hands. "Now. I am going to Aerith's house. If you two haven't kissed and made up by the time I get back I'm dropping the keys down the drain." She smiled cheerily as she grabbed her meal and strolled out the door.

It was silent for a total of three seconds before a whole new argument began.

"You idiot! If you hadn't made me throw the dinner this wouldn't have happened-"

"Well if you weren't acting so childish then I wouldn't have pushed you to throw it! She's your roommate-"

Cloud pulled his hand back angrily, effectively spreading Leon out across on the table. "Hey!" he said angrily, "we're still attached remember?!"

"Exactly." Cloud said viciously. "Let's try to eat, shall we?" He pulled Leon up roughly and dragged him over to the bags of food. He handed packages to Leon, and then dragged him back over to the table to eat.

Leon sat down to the right of Cloud wearily as Cloud began to tear into his Chinese food. "This isn't going to work," he said.

Cloud swallowed. "Why not?"

Leon raised his left hand, which was attached to Cloud's right. "I use chopsticks with my left hand."

Cloud snorted. "Well, I guess we'll have to try to work together then. I'll take a bite then you will. Alright?"

"Fine. But I go first."

"Quit being such a baby-"

"I'm hungry!"

Cloud sighed and resigned his right hand. "Go ahead and eat then."

Cloud was silent as he watched Leon eat. He's really a good person when he's quiet…Cloud thought, why the hell can't he be civilized the rest of the day?

When Leon was finished, Cloud ate the rest of his Chinese food and stood up. Leon started and stumbled from the sudden movement, being pulled up as well. Cloud smiled and began to run towards the dining room.

"Cloud, stop it!" Leon said, tripping and falling towards Cloud. Cloud spun around and caught Leon, falling clear through the screen door and out into the rain.

"Slick one." Leon said dryly, quickly getting soaked on top of Cloud.

"Oh get up already," Cloud growled as he let himself be dragged back into the house. He shut the main door of the patio and looked at the dripping wet Leon in front of him. "Well I guess we're going to have to change," he stated.

"…How?"

"I have no idea," Cloud said as he started to pull Leon upstairs.

-------------

"Haven't been up here in a while," Leon muttered as he walked into Cloud's room.

"That's because you've been acting like a jackass," Cloud retorted. "You don't get any until you apologize and start loosening up."

"Well you have to stop acting so reckless."

"How am I being reckless?"

"You drove my motorcycle into a tree."

"You had your hands over my eyes!"

"Stop. We're fighting again. Let's just figure out how to change?" Leon said, and Cloud sighed.

"Why not," he said as he walked towards his dresser. He pulled out some pajamas and laid them on the bed.

"Ladies first," Leon said.

"Then why aren't you stripping?" Cloud retorted. Leon snorted and tried to pull off his jeans anyway. Cloud's hand was dragged right along with Leons', accidentally brushing across certain parts of Leon. Leon hissed and Cloud apologized quickly.

"Your boxers are soaked too…" Cloud said quietly. The exchange was repeated quickly, albeit a little awkwardly, and Cloud sighed as Leon continued to try and fail to put on a new pair of boxers.

"Jeez," Cloud said, "you get flustered pretty easily don't you?"

"Stuff it Cloud."

"Fine, see if I help you get dressed."

"Maybe I don't want to." Leon said, yanking on the handcuffs to pull Cloud closer to him.

"You have to apologize first," Cloud replied, pulling away and grabbing a pair of boxers. After helping Leon pull them on, he tried to figure out how to get his shirt off.

"I don't think it's even humanly possible to get it off without cutting it," Cloud said.

"Its fine," Leon said offhandedly, "but you still need to change." Leon began to unbutton Cloud's jeans before Cloud flinched and stepped back quickly, pulling Leon with him.

"I can do it." He tried to continue unbuttoning his jeans, but he found that his hands were shaking. Leon smiled and pulled his hands away.

"I think you're the one who needs to relax," he said gently, helping Cloud change into a new pair of boxers.

Once they were both at least half changed, they sat down on the bed, looking off in different directions.

"So…" Leon started, looking over at Cloud. "How pissed do you think Yuffie would be if she comes back and finds that we haven't 'kissed and made up'?"

Cloud smiled. "I think she might castrate us."

Leon nodded. "So what do you say we just both admit that we've been acting like jackasses and start over?"

Cloud nodded. "I think it's a good place to begin," he said, offering his un-handcuffed hand. "Hi! I'm Cloud."

Leon smirked and tugged at the handcuffs, pulling Cloud down while simultaneously crawling over him. "And I'm Leon," he whispered into Cloud's ear. "I haven't had any good make-up sex in a few months, what do you say we start with some of that?"

Cloud smiled and folded his hands behind his head, effectively pinning Leon's hand and pulling him even closer. "I think that would be a great start."

-----------((Meanwhile…))----------

"So," Aerith said as she stood over the sink, "What's going to happened tomorrow when you tell the guys tomorrow that you actually dropped the keys down the drain?"

Yuffie looked up briefly from running her head into the wall. "I think Cloud's going to need a new roommate."

-------------------------------

Yeah I don't think I'm very good at writing Cleons. I've never actually seen anything Final Fantasy (I know whats wrong with me!) So they always end up AU. Besides, I think I might have aged Yuffie a bit…::sigh::

Oh well. I'm tired and I tried. 8D

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

freaky-hanyou