a/n: well this is a longer then the last chapter. So I hoped you guys liked it. And thank you all who reviewed. Please like always R&R.
Jared stood before me. His chest expanding with each breathe he took. I felt as if I was falling apart. All I saw was him. And for the first time since all this madness started it all made sense. I traced his jaw with my finger. He kissed my fingers as I ran then across his silky lips.
"A werewolf?" I whispered jerking my hand back.
The pain in his eyes made me want to put my hand back instantly. I was fighting the urge to take a step back. My heart beating like crazy in my chest and I was doing everything in my power not to break down. My lungs were fighting to expand. Fighting to take in air. My brain couldn't function. I was so wrapped up in what I had learned I couldn't even remember the most basic human nature to breathe.
I watch as he dropped to his knees before me. His eyes level with mine. He still wasn't touching me. He still wasn't holding me. I desperately need him to hold me together right now. It was like he could read my thought because his arms were around me in a second. His face buried in my hair and he held me.
"Imprint?" One word. One simple word. And my world was crashing around me.
"Yes," He replied looking into my eyes.
"Bella?" he eyes searching mine.
I didn't know what I felt. I was so confused. So lost. I felt ripples of running through my body. My belly quivering. My hands shaking. My mouth felt as if I just ate a bag of sand. He said my name again and the tears began to fall. I closed my eyes. I could no longer stand to look into his. They were filled with emotions I wasn't ready to face. I felt his hot hands cup my face and a sob brought free from my lips. And without thinking I wrapped my arms around his neck because even in the midst of all this he was still the only thing that made sense. Jared holding me felt as natural as breathing and that thought had me crying even more.
I sobbed into his neck. I cried for me. I cried for him. I understood now why Sam had to leave Leah. I understood why Jared had to leave Kim. But none of this made up for what I did to Jake. Sam and Jared had pulls to someone else. But me I have no excuse. And once again I'm slammed by the thought of how selfish I am. Because Jared was currently in my arms holding me as I broke down and all I could think was how much I hurt Jake. I keep hurting everyone. But the longer Jared held me. The more I felt as if I had to fix things.
I pushed from Jared and looked around the crowd frantically. I saw him. Jake was standing close to the woods. His back was to me again. Well technically it was to everyone. But it stung the same none the less. I could feel the eyes of everyone here on me. I can see it in their faces. They can't understand why this was so hard for me to get. But they didn't understand. Without this pull I could have been with Jake. I could have been the girl he needed me to be. But then Jared was touching me again. And I knew it was all lost.
I pulled myself from his embrace. I let the cold air of the night surround me. Waking me from the haze I was putting myself in. I shook my head trying to get my bearings. I wiped the hot tears from my face. There was too much going on right now. Too much for me to understand. And then I did the only thing that made sense to me. I walked to Jake. Simply. One step in front of the other. I moved toward him and I didn't let anything stop me. Not the look of concern on Sam's face. Or the look of confusion on Billy and Emily's. Or the fierce scroll on Leah's. I walked with purpose.
"Jacob Black," I said flatly daring him with my tone to walk away. He turned a look of surprise on his face. "Take a walk with me."
I knew in my heart I couldn't start anything with Jared or with my life itself until I talked things out Jacob. It felt like a lot in one night, well quite frankly because it was a lot in one night. But if I left things the way there were one day one of the loose ends were going to come back and hit me in the face. I couldn't be like Emily, Sam and Leah. Jake meant too much to me and I wasn't going to lose that for anyone. So no matter how much it hurt to walk away from Jared's arms I knew this must be done.
I put my hand in his. Gasping slightly in pain clutching my chest. "The imprint," Jake explained taking in my confused face.
"Ahh," I said rubbing my chest indicating for him to lead the way. I made the mistake of looking back. Jared was still on his knees his hands covering his face. I fought the urge to run to him. To comfort him and tell him it would be okay. To assure him I was coming back. But I knew I couldn't make false promises. Because I wasn't sure if I was coming back. But I did know that whatever the outcome of my and Jacobs talk would definitely help make my decision. But a small part of it was also proving to me that I could walk away. So that was what I did. I walked away. Each step more painful than the other. Tears welled in my eyes. But I kept walking. I would hash out things with Jared after I was done with Jacob.
He led me to his garage. I sat on the bench and he leaned on a truck in the middle of the garage. His arms crossed across his chest. We sat there staring at the wall. I knew I should be the one to start. But part of me wished he would. A small part of me hoped he would just forgive me and we would just be friends again. A soft sigh left my lips and I ran my hands through my hair.
"Jake…" I couldn't find the right words. I stared at my feet trying to form the words.
"Bella just say it," Jake grunted not looking at me.
"I can't make me love you the way you want me too," I said rushing it out.
"I know," He said rubbing his eyes with his large palms.
"I have no excuse for what I did," I stood and moved closer to him, "But know I wanted it to work." My voice cracked but I was determined for him to hear this.
"That day when I kissed you I was choosing whether I knew it or not." His black eyes had tears in them and I knew I was breaking him more. This wasn't my intentions. I didn't want to hurt him. I wanted him to know.
"Do you want me to fight for you?" I asked because if he did I would fight with everything I had for him. Even though we both knew it was a losing battle. I would do it.
"Bella I can't take this," he choked out, "That day when you kissed me I knew Jared had imprinted on you. I knew your fate was already sealed. You don't have to do this. I did this to myself."
I closed my eyes at his statement. "I've hurt you Jake."
"No more then I'm hurting you now," Jake whispered cupping my face, "The pull you feel for Jared will eventually lead you back to him. You can't fight it no matter how are you try. And it would be selfish for me to ask you to do so. When I know that neither one of us would be happy."
"Can we still be friends?" I asked.
He pulled away from me. His breathe was ragged and I knew he was crying like me. "Bella I think we both need time."
I nodded my head biting my lip. I wrapped my arms around me holding myself together. I was right. Tonight had completely turned my world upside down. And nothing would ever be the same. The dam was already broken and I don't know if I can survive the rushing water.
"Let me take you to Sam and Emily's Jared will be there." He said after a few minutes.
"No take me home please Jake," I said rubbing my face, "I've reach my limit for today."
"What about Jared?" he asked.
Yeah Bella. What about Jared? You know the man that even now you're still feeling the pull to. You know that imprinted on you. I thought to myself. But really I never forgot he was there. I knew I had to talk to him. I knew we had to discuss this. Whatever this was. Imprint. And once again I'm blow away by the impact of such a simple word.
"Do you have his number?" I asked Jake clearing my throat from nothing more than the emotional build up that was forming there. "I'll call him when I get home."
I watched as Jake save Jared's number in my phone. Something you think I would have done way before this. But everything has been so crazy lately even the most common sense thing seemed forgotten.
We drove in silence. There was so much I wanted to say but none of it was right. I hope someday we could go back to Jake and Bells but right now we were Jacob and Isabella. And neither of us knew where tomorrow headed but I know we will find our way back to each other.
We both stood in front of my door. Each of us at a stand pass.
"This is it then?" I asked him my hands stuff in my pocket.
He shifted on his feet nervously. He let out a deep sigh before pulling me into a deep hug. I inhaled his scent and held on to him. I loved Jakes hug. And today was no different. He held me like I mattered. His hug had a way of making problems disappear just for a second. He release and stepped away. A soft smile on his face.
"For now Bella." I reached out and stroked his cheek. Standing on my toes I pulled him down and place a chaste his on his lips, "For now Jake…. Remember that."
"Hey Jake," I called when he reached the bottom of the steps, "I love you remember that also."
He smiled, "Right back at you…. Oh and Bella call Jared"
I walked to my room. I contemplated what to say to Jared as I pulled my shoes off. I was worried about his reaction. He basically placed his heart in my hand and I dropped. The more I thought about it. Perhaps I should have waited to talk to Jake. Taking a deep breath I grabbed my phone and called Jared's number.
He answered after the first ring. His gruff voice filled my room. And suddenly all my planned words raced from my head. I sat there grasping for words.
"Bella?" he asked his voice laced with confusion.
"Jared." It's all I could figure out to say. As if that explained it all. I knew it was weak. But then again strength wasn't my strongest forte right now.
"Where are you?" he demanded.
"Home," I answered finally finding my tongue, "We need to talk.
"I'll come over," he grunted.
"Wait," I half screeched. Charlie would freak if he caught Jared coming into the house now. "Come tomorrow… after nine when Charlie's gone to work… please."
I could hear him breathing. I could sense the internal agreement going on with him.
"Fine." He hung up after that.
I knew tomorrow would be pack of emotions. I rested my head on the pillow. I prayed for sleep. I tried not to think about tonight. I tried not to think of Jared. Tried even harder not to think about Jake. But like everything else in my life right now. Sleep didn't come easy. I felt my eyes had just closed when the alarm sounded.
The morning was such a blur. Charlie had left me in the same spot he found me in. I ignored the contemplating stare he was giving me. I just really ignored him to be honest. I wasn't in the mood to talk about it. I didn't want to dwell on something he wouldn't understand. Something I myself didn't even understand. Twice he opened his mouth as if to say something and twice he just closed it and walked away. He gave me a half heart good bye and I'm pretty sure I waved. I don't recall honestly.
I chewed my bottom lip nervously. Jared would be here soon. I felt as if I was dangling off the edge of a huge cliff and no matter how much I grasp I can't get a good enough grip. Today has been the longest day I feel in my life and its only 8:30am.
I almost called him just to make sure he was coming. I even picked up the phone a few times. Stupid really because I knew he would show up. I couldn't stop playing my conversation with Emily over and over in my head. I felt as if I was giving up everything for him and I haven't done anything yet. The influxes of emotions I've experienced in the last few hours have been enough to make me question my sanity. I couldn't continue to put my dreams on hold for a relationship….no a physical attraction that seems to be sucking my will right from me. But then again I haven't really put anything on hold but me. The only thing stuck in suspension is me. Even now my legs are shaking and my palms are sweating from the excitement of seeing him again and no matter how far I pushed him from my mind he always came back.
The sound of a tires rolling on gravel echoed from outside. My heart is pounding out of my chest and I feel as if I can't breathe. I can't even comprehend what I'm feeling right now. I can't find the words to explain it all. I needed to tonight to be over like now. I needed Jared touching me right now. My fingers twitched with the excitement of touching his bronze flesh. I was already at the door swinging it open before his car door even opened. Our eyes crashing in a frenzy of emotions, my uncertainty and his nervousness. But it all made sense for that second. That second it took him to make it from his car and draw me in to his arms.
"Beautiful," His murmured in his husky voice vibrating through my body before his lips descended on mine stealing the breathe from my lungs.
His hot hands wrapped around my waist and mine laced in his silky hair. And the idea of taking him up to my bed room sound ten times more appealing then the bonfire. My knees shook with each tender kiss he placed on my face. My body was on flames. Burning with a desire my veins have never felt. And damn me if I wanted more.
"We need to talk," He whispers between kisses. The murmur of protest escaped my lips. My hands were still wrapped around his neck and my lips still placing kisses on his flesh and I had no intention of letting him go any time soon.
"Bella," He groans as I push my chest against him. He lifted me with ease. And I was bombarded with a million different sensations. He nipped my neck the pain mixed with pleasure and I was moaning my appreciation. Very loudly. I tried to process that we were currently standing in the middle of my porch. That Charlie had only just left. I tried to process all of that but nothing coherent was processing in my brain while he placed open mouth kisses on my neck. I could feel his large sex pressed against mine. The need for friction growing I rotated my hips. Both of us hissed from the sensation. The air crackled around us. And in the second when his dark eyes met mine it was like I could read his soul. Lust made his lids heavy but the undeniable look of devotion in his eyes shook me. Because whether I want to admit it or not, in the short time of knowing him, Jared has completely shaking up my world.
"I can smell you," His cupped my face placing a soft kiss on my lips, "And as much as I want to take you for everything you will give me now, we really must talk."
I nodded my head in agreement even though I was screaming in protest on the inside. He placed me down gently his eyes never leaving mine. And I had to remind myself to breathe. The light in his eyes captivated me and I was ready for whatever would come later tonight.
"Can I come in?" He asked smoothing my hair. I nodded again not trusting my voice. "Oh and Bella," he paused his face sporting a huge grin, "hi." He chuckled as he moved pass me into the house.
I felt my cheeks redden and mumbled a soft hello back. But secretly I like our first greeting better. The tension was so thick it seems to steal our words. But it couldn't stop the heat glances he kept throwing my way, or my hand from finding its way into his lacing our fingers together.
My thumb rubbing against the soft flesh of his hands, savoring the feeling his flesh against mine.
"I'm nervous," I managed to choke out. But really it was all I had to say. Because I think that one statement explained how both of us were feeling.
"Just…" He paused as if thinking about what words to use, "Everything will work out."