a/n: Here's the next chapter. I've been moving and trying to get settle but I figured I'd put out what I had. R&R. And if you recognize it then it's probably not mine.

"What's on your mind?" Jared asked trying to steal some food off my plate.

"Us."

He raised an eyebrow before putting his fork down. "What about us?"

"Just…. I don't know," I played with the food on my plate pushing it from side to side. I hated that I did this. I was an emotional rollercoaster. Somehow seeing Jared and Charlie talk earlier spouted it in me. I wanted to tell him I was being foolish and dumb. But I don't know how to express it. I don't know how to tell him something is wrong but I don't know what's wrong. It was an underlining feeling. Hiding under this bubble of happiness.

"Bella," Jared sighed rubbing his face I could feel his wariness. "Bella you have to talk to me."

"I don't what to tell you," I whispered, "I'm crazy okay."

"You're not," he groaned, "It's just a defense mechanism you've created in your mind. There is nothing wrong with you so stop saying it."

I bit my lip and looked away. I wanted to end this conversation. I wanted him to smile at me and laugh this off. But we both knew we rushed things. We went from strangers to a relationship to quickly. I thought I could handle it. But hearing Jared and Charlie talk about my acceptance to Harvard was too much. It was like they were both resigned to the fact that I will be leaving in a few months and that was fine.

Jared didn't even blink when Charlie told him I was going not matter what. He didn't even flinch. I wanted him to show some sort of emotion. Anything. He just stood there smiling saying he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Bella what is it?" he asked again taking my hand in his. Our food long since forgotten.

"Are you not in the slightest bit upset that I will be leaving you for collage in two months?"

He winced. His face twisted in pain. And I realized how wrong I was. He did care. He brought my palm to his lips kissing it. The tender action broke me.

"It bothers me more then you know," he whispered kissing me.

And it was settled. I didn't care how hard he fought me. Or how disappointed my father would be. I wasn't going to Harvard. I was going to wait a year and go to a local collage. I pulled my hand from his and finished my food. I was more at peace then I was five minutes ago. He watched me a soft smile on his face. He went back to trying to steal my food and that is how the rest of the date went.

"What time do you have to go home?" Jared asked as we left the restaurant his large arm around my waist pulling me closer to him.

"Whenever."

"No curfew?" he asked his eyebrow rose in surprise.

"Yeah another perks of being over eighteen and out of school," I smirked at his expression.

He shuffle his feet a little stuffing his hands in his pockets. My body mourned the loss of his heat I moved closer to him pressing my body against him. He inhaled sharply.

"Want to come back to my place?" he asked his voice tight.

I cupped his cheek with my palm and looked into his eyes. Did I want to go to his place? Yes. Did I want to push him to the brink of my comfort? Yes. Did he know that? Absolutely not.

"I would love to," I said kissing him.

We were in his car speeding down the road so fast then I could say another word. He kept his hand on my leg as he drove moving up and down my thigh but never taking his eyes off the road. Do you know how frustrating that is? The heat from his hand burned through the fabric of my jeans. My skinning was humming with desire. My panties dampened with excitement. And he wasn't taking notice of any of it. At least I thought he wasn't until I noticed him watching me out the corner of his eyes.

He took in a deep breathe with soft chuckle. Two could play that game. I moved my hand to his leg. Dangerous close to him hardened manhood. He jerked away with a curse.

"You're playing with fire," he growled grapping my hand and nipping my fingers.

"It's only bad if I get burned," I smirked.

He had us in front of his house in what felt like minutes. It had to be a new record. Before I even have time to unclasp my seat buckle he had my door open. He reached around me to get my seat buckle his neck exposed to me. I placed open mouth kisses on the exposed flesh. My tongue tracing the lines my teeth begging to nibble. He froze the second my lips had made contact with his skin.

Each kiss earned me a shudder. I loved the power I had over him. He all but yanked my seat buckle off. Before pulling me out of the car. I jumped into his arms warping my legs around his waist. My whole body was shaking with need. He pressed me against the cold metal his car his lips descending on mine in frenzy. The contrast between his body and the car was creating a sensation overload. I rotated my hips to ease the burning between my legs.

"Inside," he gasped between kisses.

Kissing Jared is like a drug. I once thought the passion I read about in books and saw in movies were just figments of imagination a temptation that was never meant to be true. But wrapped in Jared arms his lips on mine was all it took to wake the passion within me. I feel so much more. Taste more. Want more. With him I never feel unsatisfied.

He laid me gently on his bed. His body hovering over mine. I tugged as his shirt. It needs to be off. I wanted to run my fingers along the lines of his muscle. I wanted to feel his flesh on mine. He pulled the shirt off in on smooth motion. He was kissing me again. His fingers played over my flesh.

"I could get lost in you," he whispered.

I know the feeling. I would always want to get lost in him. I cupped his face with my hands. Savoring the feel of him above me. His ragged breathe ran though him he was a mass of quivering muscles over me and it was having the most unusual effect on me. I bit my lip to keep from scream with desire.

"You smell so good," he hisses taking in a deep breathe. He place kisses all over my neck. I was so turned on I could barely think. All I could do was feel. And I could feel just how much he wanted me.

He rubbed against my hot sex through my jeans. The rough fabric of my jeans rubbed against me. Teasing the burning I felt. I wanted him to touch me. I wanted him to take me.

"Not yet Bella," he laughed darkly, "I want to take you just as well but you are not ready for that yet."

I wanted to fight him. But the words couldn't form. I wanted him just as badly as he wanted me. I reached down daringly and grabbed him through his pants. He hissed and jerked away from me.

"Fire Isabella."

"I haven't got burned yet," I gasped as he places his hand on my core. The heat from his touch only caused the burning to increase. I moved my hips into his touch.

"I want you so bad," he hissed taking in deep gulps of air.

I couldn't even find the words to say. My body was on fire. I wanted him in a way that didn't even make sense to me.

He pulled away from me and stood by the window. With my mouth agape I stared at him in disbelief. Did he just… I couldn't even think right. What in the world just happened here? Maybe he didn't want me. Maybe he realized at the last minute I wasn't good enough. Or sexy enough.

"When I asked you over," he stared his back still to me, "This isn't what I had in mind."

I wish I could find my voice right now. Anything would do. I ran my hands though my hair my fingers catching on some of the knots. I rejoiced in the slight pain anything but shock and rejection was a god send.

"What the hell Jared?" I gasped after a second. So maybe the word may not have been the right ones but it's what has been playing over and over in my mind for the last few minutes. How dare he take me so high on a rush of desire just to drop me. It was like riding a roller coaster but then realizing there isn't any loops. What the fuck?

"I don't want our first date to be our first time also," he said turning to look at me. I could see the effect of pulling away when he did. His whole body was trembling. He made a move to step closer to me but at the last second back away more.

"You smell so tantalizing," he groaned turning his head away.

Could have fooled me, I thought to myself. One minute he acts like I'm god's gift to earth and the next it's like a vampire somehow entered my body and he wanted nothing to do with me. Why couldn't just one aspect of our relationship be simple? I mean how bloody hard could it be to have sex. I'm not claiming any previous knowledge on the matter. You know big virgin over here. But it didn't seem that complicated to me.

I tried to ignore the feelings of rejection playing in my heart but the bitter taste of it was still potent in my mouth. The tears were falling before I could stop them and I was all the more frustrated for it. My body was still trembling from our lust. It hasn't seemed to get the memo yet that Jared was done.

I shifted on the bed to ease the tension that was forming between my legs. It was like Sam and Emily's all over. Without the washer and dryer… oh and that's right the mind blowing orgasm. I was seething. He took a tentative step closer and I glared at him.

"Bella I'm sor…" he started

"Don't bother," I jerked my hand up to stop him. Anger running through my veins. I picked my phone up and dialed the only person I knew who could come get me.

"Hello,"

"Jake I need you to get me," I all but shouted into the phone ignoring Jared sharp intake.

"Bella?" He said after a second, "Where are you?"

"Jared's."

After assuring me he would be there in a few we hung up. I straighten my clothes not once looking at the man who just rejected me.

"I didn't not reject you," Jared growled standing before me, "Call Jake and tell him I'm taking you home."

"So you can tell me its was for my own good and that our first time should be more special," I snapped, "I'm good I just had that conversation for us."

"Damn it Bella it was for your own good," he grabbed me by my shoulders and my body jumped awake.

Damn trader.

"No Jared its what you thought was good for me did you once think to ask me what I wanted," I said pulling out of his grasp. I couldn't think straight when he was touching me.

"I know you're a virgin."

"What's your point?"

He growled at me. I could see him shaking out the corner of my eyes. I knew I was pushing him but I couldn't stop myself.

"The last time I check I was perfectly capable of deciding what I wanted to do with my body," I sneered, "besides its not like you didn't have any issues touching me at Sam and Emily's even when you had a girl."

His growling was growing louder and he was shaking to the point that I couldn't barely make out his form anymore. But I was on a roll and I couldn't stop.

"Is that what you need to touch me?" My voice caught but I was past the point of no return already, "Should I call Kim and tell her you want her back so I can get you to have sex with me."

"Maybe the thrill of cheating is what gets you off."

The words were barely out of my lips before he pushed past me racing for the door. I heard the back door slam open before the night was filled with the sound of a wolf howling. It took me a second to realize what I had done. My immaturity had did. A sob was building in my throat. It was bubbling and forming each second that past with me sitting in the empty room.

I just pushed away the one person who was tied to me for life. I just hurt him in a way that I never wanted to be hurted. And the only regret in my heart was that we never finished what we started. More and more I'm realizing just how selfish I truly am.

"What happened here?" Jake asked stepping in the room. He had on his usual just a pair of cut off shorts. I studied his chiseled form. Taking in his muscles and toned body. He was gorgeous but Jared was supreme. A sigh pasted through me. I was ruined for other men. Because all I wanted was the man who rejected me for my own good. The man my harsh words just chased from here.

Yeah its official I'm a screw up.

Jake was watching me with eyebrows raised. I didn't answer him. It wasn't any of his business anyway. He would find out how much of a grimey person I was when he phased. For now all I wanted to do was get home and bury myself in my bed.

As for Harvard. Perhaps I will be going there after all.

Jared was right about one thing. I was playing with fire and boy did it hurt to get burned.

a/n: So let me know what you guys think I'll try to get more out soon.