Oh hells children. I just got three more Christmas fics. Now deeming it physically impossible to finish by Christmas eve. I'm writing two now and two tomorrow. XD WHEEE.

BUT ANYWAY REVIEWS ARE LOVEEEEE. A few quick comments/concerns:

Kiki: "All in all, holy Axel and the Organization that was hilarious." I stared at this for a good five minutes, and I still have no idea what the hell you're talking about. XD And darling enjoy vacations! You'll just have bunches to come home to. 8D

SoraXxXRiku: I love that quote too. XP

ZESTY YOU FIEND AND YOUR IDEAS! XD ((I'm kidding it's a good thing)) You write whatever you feel like darling. As long as you enjoy it.

And I'm glad that most of you folk aren't freaking out about this crack!ness that will be going down. 8D

SO I'VE BEEN THINKIN ABOUT THIS ONE ALL DAY AT WORK AND I AM EXCITED.

What If…

Axel drank a drop of mistletoe juice, and was

affected by its aphrodisiac properties?

((as suggested by the lovely Hyper Kid))

((pretty sure mistletoe is NOT an aphrodisiac, but who the hell cares its fanfiction XD))

"You what?" Axel cried, staring at disbelief at Roxas as they sat at the kitchen in the cafeteria.

"You heard me," Roxas said calmly, "I was assigned Twilight Town Patrol by myself today. You have a mission at Port Royal."

Axel continued to stare. "But…Twilight Town will be all decorated for Christmas!" He looked as if someone has drowned both of his puppies and then threw them into a wood chipper.

Roxas sighed and stood up from the table. "I have to go," he looked down at Axel, sympathetic. "We'll do something fun tonight when I get back, alright?" He offered Axel a reassuring smile.

Axel smirked. "What kind of fun?"

Roxas pinked and glared at him, summoning a portal. After Roxas left, Axel sighed and continued to mope at the table.

-------((oh boys))--------

Vexen smirked as he approached Axel, who had been moping at the table for twenty minutes. Maybe I shouldn't give him this mistletoe… he thought, looking down at the drink he had in his hand. It will screw with his senses all day. He grinned at himself. Nope. I am just that much of a sadistic bastard. He put on his 'Poor-you' face and approached Axel.

"Aw, poor Number VIII, you actually have to do a real mission today?" Vexen began, sitting down next to him.

"Go screw, Vexen."

Vexen looked hurt. "Now, Number VIII, I'm trying to be nice to you! Look, I even brought you a drink," he continued, putting the glass in front of Axel.

Axel looked at it suspiciously. "Oh, right, I'm supposed to believe that that isn't another one of your crazy concoctions? Riiiiiiight."

Vexen smiled innocently. "It's only hot cocoa. What incentive do I have to mess with you when you are already miserable?"

Axel smiled mockingly. "Oh I don't know, maybe because you're a sadistic bastard?"

Vexen glared, but didn't retort. "What should I do to get you to trust me that this is not anything bad?"

Axel looked at him long and hard. "You have to swear to me on your laboratory that this will not affect me in any negative ways."

Vexen grinned, almost evily. Sucker. "I swear, on my laboratory, that this drink will not affect you in any negative ways."

Axel sighed. "Fine." He drank down the entire glass in one gulp. "Mmm. Minty. Now if you'll excuse me," he said, standing up. "Port Royal calls me."

Vexen laughed evilly to himself as Axel summoned a portal and disappeared. "My dear Number VIII, what you'll experience will be anything but negative…"

---------((oh hells))-----

Axel glumly and mindlessly fought through Heartless after Heartless that seemed to never stop infecting Port Royal.

"God this is so boring!" he exclaimed, punctuating his sentence by setting four Soldiers on fire. "Why can't I just go-

mindlessly screw Roxas into the bed of the Captain's Quarters while the crew is hard at work?

Axel paused as his thoughts took a dirty turn without his command. "Waiiiit. Wait." he said, slashing downward with his chakrams and inadvertently slaying the Heartless that were sneaking up on him. "Has my dirty mind finally gotten a mind of its own? It's impossible, just like when Roxas told Demyx that dust bunnies cannot come alive-

or the time when Roxas did that extraordinary thing with his tongue-

"Woah!" Axel said, ducking as a Large Body pushed him towards the wall. "This is getting distracting! What the hell could have caused such a thing?"

He thought for a few seconds before massacring the Large Body in front of him.

"Vexen. Now I have to hurry up and finish this, and go home and-

find Roxas so he can live in my bedroom for the next 48 hours-

"NO!" Axel said, falling to his knees in half delirium from the fantasies and memories and half from frustration. "This is going to kill me."

Axel quickly began to dispatch the rest of the Heartless to get to the bottom of this.

--------((::hits fast forward:: ))-------

Axel appeared from a portal immediately into Vexen's laboratory, where Vexen was hard at work at a potion. "Vexen! What the hell did you do?"

Vexen chuckled to himself and turned to face Axel. "Number VIII! You've returned to quickly-"

Axel shoved Vexen into the wall and held him up by his robe.

I wish that it was Roxas that I had shoved up against this wall, tight against my-

Axel shook himself, and glared at Vexen. "What did you give me?!"

"Nothing but a bit of mistletoe!"

Axel paused. "How is an aphrodisiac not negative?"

Vexen looked at him calmly. "I don't think anyone would think that an aphrodisiac negative, Number VIII."

Axel growled in frustration, dropping Vexen to the ground and going up the stairs to his bedroom. I need to take a shower.

--------((more fast forwarding))-----

Once in the cold shower, Axel sighed in relief. Finally I can just relax-

As Roxas steps in beside me, rivulets of water running down his smooth chest to his-

"Gyah!" Axel cried, turning the water to a colder setting. "There has got to be a way to make this wear off faster!" He stepped out of the shower, still sexually frustrated, to walk into his bedroom and find-

Roxas, strewn out on his bed on his side, in naught but a pair of Christmas boxers, grinning up at him and beckoning towards him to-

Axel shook his head as he walked into his bedroom, finding it empty. Axel sighed and collapsed onto the bed.

"This sucks."

At that precise moment, a portal formed and Roxas entered his bedroom, bearing two sea salt ice creams and-

many different sex toys-

Axel smacked himself upside the head, deftly and silently taking an ice cream from Roxas. Roxas looked at him questioningly.

"Don't. Ask." Axel said, eating his ice cream. Axel watched as Roxas took his ice cream and

slowly wrapped his tongue around it, pulling it slowly into his mouth, before sucking on the-

"Shit!" Axel suddenly called out, throwing his ice cream down onto his desk and pulling Roxas onto the bed, pinning him under him.

"The hell, Axel?" Roxas said, irritated he wasn't able to finish his ice cream.

"Rox, you've gotta help me!" Axel said, looking down at him, tormented. "Vexen gave me an aphrodisiac-"

Roxas snorted, trying not to laugh. Axel glared at him and continued, "And it's driving me up the wall! You've got to make it stop!"

Roxas quirked an eyebrow. "And how, exactly, am I supposed to make it go away?"

Axel made a noise of frustration and slammed his lips into Roxas', forcing his chin up and sliding a hand up to unzip Roxas' cloak. He made quick work of Roxas' cloak, never once breaking contact, and momentarily pulled back to pull of his shirt. He gently caressed the inside of Roxas' mouth with his tongue, making Roxas groan involuntarily. Axel pulled back, smiling.

"Just let me have my way with you, kay?"

Roxas smirked, panting slightly. "Well," Roxas started, deviously reaching down south of the border as Axel's eyes widened. "I did promise you something fun, didn't I?"

"You did," Axel choked out as he brought himself over Roxas again, closing the distance between them.

---------------

WHEEE! ONE DOWN CHILDREN.

YOU BETTER REVIEW BOTH OF THEM. XD

freaky-hanyou