::frolics about:: HEY CHILDREN! GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS!?

ITS STORY PIMPING TIME!

And I hope you all had a good Christmas and all that. XD

YOU MUST GO READ:

A Christmas Wish by Zesty! (Zestychicken2) DO IT DAMMIT. 8D

AND if you all like POTC, then go read Honorbound by Aranel71390. Its basically POTC written in Norrington's POV. Its excellent business right there.

AND she also has a Haldir/Legolas story up there if you feel like checking that one out. XP

BUT ANYWAY THIS ONE AND ONE MORE HOLIDAY FIC And THEN business As usual!

But yeah for this one I was like….Zexion? Drunk? How could that ever happen?

I could only think of one answer. HEee!

ALRIGHT HERE WE GOES. FIRST! A brief proof lesson from wiki:

"The proof number is twice the percentage of the alcohol content. Therefore "80 proof" is 40 alcohol by volume, and pure alcohol is "200 proof"."

What If…

The Organization got totally smashed on New Years Eve, and Zexion and Axel

confuse Demyx and Roxas, but Demyx and Roxas are the only

two that are sober?

The Superior cleared his throat over the normal dinner chatter to make the cafeteria go silent.

"Tonight there will be festivities-"

"meaning booze-" Axel interrupted.

The Superior glared at him. "for New Year's Eve in the cafeteria tonight. I expect everyone to be perfectly capabable of working the next morning. That is all."

Axel looked over at Roxas and grinned. "Tonight's going to be a blast!"

-------((a brief fast forward))----

Zexion sighed as he watched the festivities begin with a game of Beer Pong. He watched as Demyx and Roxas danced by the stereo, clearly having a good time.

He sighed louder as Marluxia sat down next to him.

"The fuck do you want Marluxia? Go get drunk like the others."

Marluxia feigned hurt. "My dear Zexion, why must you hurt me so? After all, I'm only looking out for your well-being," he said, eyes glinting evilly.

Zexion looked at him warily. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing!" Marluxia said, 'innocently', "I just want you to loosen up a little! Go have fun with everyone!" Marluxia grinned, handing him a drink. "Here's your first." Zexion raised an eyebrow. "And if you don't want to listen to me, then just drink that one and continue pouting here."

Zexion sighed and took a tiny sip, smiling slightly. "…Aright."

Marluxia grinned and patted him on the shoulder, standing up to go join Larxene by the liquor. "Too bad for you Zexion," he muttered, "That that is my special mix of 100 proof vodka, and you're a lightweight." He chuckled to himself, almost skipping over to the liquor station.

--------((Meanwhile))-------

"Rrrrrrroxas!" Axel slurred, stumbling over to where Roxas and Demyx were dancing. He collapsed into Roxas' arms, laughing. "There's like, twelve of you on this dance floor. How did you do that man?" Axel gave him a noogie.

Roxas growled, pushing him onto the floor. "Shit, Axel, go win another game of Beer Pong or something!"

"I already won 5…" Axel said, pointing a finger into the air triumphantly. "The floor is soft…"

Suddenly, Zexion strode over to both Roxas and Demyx, looking concerned. He stared at both of them, unblinking.

"Zexy….what's wrong?" Demyx said slowly.

Zexion addressed both Roxas and Demyx as if they were the same person. "There are unicorns being turned into pocket protectors in the kitchen," he said with mild panic in his voice. "Demyx! We have to go save them!" He stared at Roxas and Demyx a moment, confusion etched onto his face, before reaching out and grabbing Roxas' hand, thinking that he had grabbed the mass of blob that was Demyx, and started off for the kitchen. Roxas, alarmed, turned around to see Demyx being tackled by Axel.

----((cut to Axel and Demyx))---

"Roxy how did you get your hair done like Demyx's in the span of…." he thought for a long moment. "Three minutes? It's amazing!" He marveled, running his fingers through it. "And you grew! In three minutes!" Demyx shuddered, pulling away.

"Axel, it is Demyx," he said, pulling Axel towards the table. "Come on, you sit down and I'll get you some aspirin…"

"Pshh, screw that!" Axel cried, dragging Demyx around like a limp noodle. "Let's go bring in the New Year properly in my room," he said, winking as he dragged Demyx away.

Demyx's eyes widened. Oh shit…

------((cut to Zexion and Roxas))----

Roxas silently panicked as Zexion pulled him into the kitchen.

"They aren't in here," he said calculatedly, "The gnomes must have hidden their immoral practices in my bedroom," he reasoned, storming off with Roxas in tow.

Roxas was pulled along in confusion, being quickly pulled along by Zexion towards his bedroom.

"Zexion, you do realize that I'm-"

"Hush!" he said, turning around and glaring. "You'll scare them away, Number IX!"

Roxas glared at him and shut up. As they entered Zexion's bedroom, Zexion quickly looked in the closet and under the bed. "They're not here…" He looked over at Roxas. "You shrunk, Demyx."

Roxas sighed. "I'm not-"

Zexion was suddenly angry. "Not only did you scare off the unicorn-killing-gnomes, you shrunk! What the hell is wrong with you, Number IX?!" Zexion pinned Roxas against the wall, holding him up by his robe. Roxas gulped but continued glaring.

Suddenly, Zexion dropped Roxas to the floor and collapsed onto his bed, sobbing. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I know it hurts you whenever I call you Number IX! I can't help it!" he whimpered, "it's just those damn gnomes have got me all worked up!"

Roxas held back a snort in his throat as Zexion continued to cry quietly on his bed. Roxas sighed. I hope Axel doesn't traumatize Demyx… He hesitantly sat next to Zexion on the bed, rubbing his back soothingly. "It's okay, Zexion, we'll get them soon enough," he crooned, making small circles on his back.

Zexion looked over at him with watery eyes. "You mean it?"

Roxas smiled. "Of course! Let's get you to bed, alright?"

Zexion sniffled, and pulled off everything but his boxers. Roxas blushed as Zexion cuddled under the covers, and quickly got up to leave.

Zexion looked alarmed. "Where are you going?!"

"To bed…" Roxas said warily.

"Stay with me!" Zexion said commandingly.

"…Why?"

"Because the gnomes might turn me into a pocket protector!"

Roxas quirked an eyebrow. "I thought that they only used unicorns?"

"They have other models."

Roxas sighed and pulled off his boots. "I guess," he said resigned, crawling into the bed.

"Why are you sleeping with your cloak on? Take it off! I know you only sleep in boxers sometimes Demyx," Zexion grinned.

Roxas pinked and looked over at him. "…You're right, Zexy," Roxas said, stripping down to his boxers and crawling in beside Zexion.

Zexion wrapped his arms around Roxas, sighing happily. "'Night, Demyx."

"Night Zexy."

------------((Axel and Demyx!))--------

Demyx wrenched away from Axel as they entered his bedroom. "Now Axel, listen for a moment!"

"Why?" Axel said seductively, stalking Demyx. "We don't even have to talk…." he whispered, preparing for a pounce…

"Let's play a game!" Demyx said, thinking fast.

"OOOH! I wanna play!" Axel said, switching gears easily. Demyx sighed in relief, mind whirring towards possible games.

"We could play a board game?"

Axel made a face. "Bor-ring!"

"Hmm…" Demyx saw Axel begin to get the 'Predator' look in his eye again. "Let's play the Who-Can-Strip-To-Their-Boxers-The-Fastest' game!" he said, wincing even as he said it. "Ready? GO!"

Demyx purposely let Axel win, even when Axel violently ran his foot into the desk trying to strip off his jeans. "I win!" he said triumphantly, approaching the now boxer-clad Demyx. "Now what's my prize?" he questioned seductively, pulling Demyx to bed with him.

"Candy in the morning," Demyx said decisively.

Axel thought for a moment. "Nope, I don't want any candy!" he pushed Demyx down on the bed, leaning over him. "I think I want something else…"

"Look out the window! It's the Monopoly guy doing the hoedown!"

Axel leapt off the bed, diving towards the window. "Where?!" He stood there for a few minutes, looking, while Demyx dove under the covers. "You lied," he said accusingly, getting under the covers with Demyx. "You have to be punished," Axel smirked.

"My god how does Roxas put up with your libido!" Demyx groaned, and drew a line on the bed. "There. Axel, this is the Invisible Sex Line. You are not to cross it with any intentions past PG."

Axel stared at the line as if it had done him personal harm. "How dare you invoke the line?"

Demyx grinned triumphantly as Axel pouted.

"…Can't we at least cuddle?" Axel said coaxingly.

Demyx sighed. "Fine."

Axel squealed and tackled Demyx, smothering his face in his neck. When he moved in for a kiss, Demyx pushed him back. "Cuddling only!"

Axel sighed and settled himself more snuggly around Demyx. "Night Roxy."

"Goodnight Axel."

---------((THE MORNING (AFTER XD) WITH ZEXY AND ROXAS!))------

Zexion groaned as he slowly opened his eyes to the glaring sunlight. Son of a bitch, he thought darkly…I got drunk. What the hell happened? He tried to roll over, but froze when he found a lump in it. He sighed. Its probably just Demyx. He pulled down the covers to find not a sleepy-eyed Demyx, but a sound asleep Roxas cuddled against him. Zexion cried out and leapt out of the bed, falling to the floor and holding his head from the loud noise he caused.

This racket immediately woke Roxas, who was still disoriented from the rude awakening. "The hell Ax-Oh shit…"

"Why are you in my bedroom?" Zexion said, thinking quickly, "Where is Demyx?!"

Roxas sat up in bed, revealing that he too was only wearing boxers. Before he could get a word out, Zexion began panicking even more.

"Oh shit, ohhhh shit, Demyx is going to maim me-"

"Calm down dammit!" Roxas called out, throwing a pillow at Zexion. "Listen to me! Yesterday, you and Axel confused Demyx and I and you dragged me here."

"Oh…" Zexion said, brows furrowing. "…Why?"

"You were muttering about unicorns being turned into pocket protectors by gnomes."

Zexion laughed. "What the hell? But I didn't drink anything! I only had what Marluxi-" he stopped. "That little shit…"

Roxas laughed. "Leave it to Marluxia. Now-"

He suddenly heard an ear-splitting scream come from the vicinity of Axel's room. Roxas cursed, grabbed his cloak, and started off in that direction. Zexion followed.

-------((oh boy))------

Axel awoke to an ear-splitting headache. He sighed deeply. And yet another hangover…Good thing I've got my Roxy to comfort me! He rolled over to the lump next to him. He wiggled right up to it, whispering, "Mornin' my Roxy…" Demyx groaned and rolled to face Axel.

Axel screamed and leapt out of bed. "Demyx?! Why are you here! What happened-?"

Demyx tried to speak, but Axel refused to listen. There's no way that I would do anything at all with Demyx, and since Roxas has disappeared somewhere, that means…

"OMIGOD! YOU RAPED me you FIEND!" Axel looked scandalized, covering himself up with his discarded cloak.

Roxas and Zexion chose that moment to walk in on the scene. Axel looked at the door in happiness, flying towards Roxas. "ROXY! HE RAPED me-"

"I did not! You kept coming on to me!"

"I was not! I wouldn't-"

"Do you remember?"

Axel paused. "No…BUT I wouldn't come on to anyone but Roxas!" He hugged the Captive!Roxas tightly.

"I know," Demyx said, groaning, "you thought I was Roxas-"

"Oh." Axel said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "Did anything…happen?"

Demyx shook his head. "Nope!"

"Thank god," Zexion said, gathering up Demyx's clothes. "I'm sorry about this whole affair guys," he said, looking at Demyx and Roxas, "I don't know how the hell it started-"

"Zexion thought I was Demyx," Roxas supplied shortly.

Zexion pinked. "Well, it all just kinda snowballed from there…"

"Well!" Axel said, clapping his hands together. "That's a fun way to bring in the New Year then!" He helped Demyx out of his bed.

When Roxas looked at the clock, he saw that it was around 8 in the morning. "I don't think breakfast is going to be on time today…I saw The Superior getting his groove on to 'Its Raining Men' yesterday…"

Demyx snickered. "We'll see you guys at breakfast," he said, pulling Zexion out of the room.

Axel laughed. "Anyway!" he said, glancing at Roxas predatorily. "Why don't we bring in the New Year now?"

Roxas sighed. "But it's already the New Year Axel."

"But I missed it!" Axel pouted.

"That's your fault," Roxas said, lying on the bed. "I didn't sleep well last night. Let's go back to bed?"

Axel sighed, cuddling in with Roxas. "Tonight then?"

Roxas smiled. "Maybe."

----((ZEXIONANDDEMYX))-----

Demyx collapsed in exhaustion as they reached Zexion's room. "I didn't get a wink of sleep last night," Demyx groaned, "I kept thinking Axel would wake up and rape me!"

Zexion laughed and crawled into bed with him. "Poor Demyx," he said, chuckling, as Demyx glared at him. "Alright, alright! Let's go back to sleep!" He pulled the blankets close around them.

"Hey Zexy?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Do you know what happened with you two last night?"

Zexion pinked. "Nothing but a few gnomes and unicorns."

Demyx looked at him strangely while Zexion laughed, cuddling him closer.

------------------------------

SERIOUSLY IT JUST WOULDN'T END!! Oh man, I wrote the word Hoedown and went off on like an hour tangent on watching Whose Line Is it Anyways? on Youtube. XD

But yeah THAT was a bitch. R AND R MY CHILDREN!

AND R AND R THE OTHER STORIES! YOUMUSTDOITTTT.

freaky-hanyou