Thanks to RoseDimitriLoveJunky for the balloon idea :D
Thank you so much for nominating this story for Le Vampire Academy Awards, it means so much to me, even if it didn't win. And even bigger thanks for voting for my 3-shot Need You Now- which tied with My First, My Last, My Everything to WIN! I love you all!
Disclaimer: Vampire Academy is not mine. But the award for the 1,2,3 catagory is!
The next day, I was heading back to the tents after doing all the washing up. Nobody had done any yesterday, and since I'd lost 'I never', the duty of cleaning everything had fallen to me. Dimitri had offered to help, knowing how much I hated touching gross old food, but when I saw Christian mouthing 'lazy' and pretending to be a chicken, I told him I could manage it alone.
Now, I'd taken the majority of the clean plates back already and was just holding a bag containing the washing up liquid and rubber gloves, fully prepared to slap Christian around the face with one when I saw him. Suddenly, a guy who looked to be about Adrian's age stepped out in front of me. The cocky smirk on his face was an instant warning.
"Hey babe. May I say that you are the sexiest woman walking this earth?"
I rolled my eyes. "Sure you can say it, as long as you don't expect me to return the compliment."
The guy made this weird hooting/whooping sound, before shouting, "and you're a feisty one! I love that." I cringed inwardly as he winked. "Listen honey, I just know that you and I would be amazing together. So how about you and I spend the rest of the day in my sleeping bag? I'm betting we could break a campbed or 2." He waggled his eyebrows in a way that I guessed was supposed to be alluring. "I'm Gareth, by the way. Just making sure you know what name to scream later."
"You'll be the only one screaming- in agony from where I beat you into a pulp. You ever seen Buffy slay a vamp? Because I make her look like a fumbling idiot."
He grinned. "That's hot."
"Look, asshat. I'm in a relationship, and believe me, he wouldn't be happy if he heard you right now. And quite frankly, I wouldn't have sex with you if we were the last people on earth. The extinction of humanity is a more appealing thought than the entire race being formed from your gene pool."
The guy just smiled, and I had a feeling the main part of the insult was lost on him.
"If this guy is so great, where is he? There's no ring on your finger. If he's not bothered about marking his territory, then he obviously isn't interested in keeping it."
Ah shit, I'd taken my ring off whilst I was doing the washing up. It was currently hanging around my neck, sharing the chain with my Nazar.
"Actually, we are engaged." I showed him the ring. "And he doesn't need to mark his territory- I defend myself. But if someone was to try anything, he'd kick their ass before they even realised what hit them."
"Oh yeah?" Gareth asked, moving forward and completely disregarding the boundaries of personal space. "I bet I could take him any day."
I suddenly had to laugh. "You? Beat him? Yeah, right. Dimitri is a 6"7 Russian bodyguard for royalty who really hates pricks trying to take advantage of women."
"Look sweetie, if you're going to make up an imaginary boyfriend, at least make him believable."
"Oh, he's real alright." I said breezily.
"So where is he then?" Gareth asked.
I allowed a satisfied smirk slide over my lips, silently pointing over Gareth's shoulder.
The human slowly turned around, almost bumping into Dimitri, who was standing behind him with his arms crossed and a murderous glare.
Gareth froze, incapable of speech. Dimitri leaned down from where he towered above him until they were eye to eye. Dimitri said one word.
"Run."
Letting out a sound not unlike a mouse's squeak, Gareth complied, pushing past me in his haste to get away.
"Dick," I muttered, pulling the elastic from my hair. Looping it over the tip of my thumb, I pulled it back with my other hand, aimed, and released it. The elastic pinged from my fingers and, a second later, Gareth yelped and ran even faster as it smacked him on the back of the head.
I roared with laughter, making sure Gareth could hear me, and Dimitri chuckled as well. I leaned into him, smiling.
"Thanks for the backup Comrade, but I had things under control."
"Yeah, that's what I was worried about. If I hadn't come and scared him off, that human would have a broken nose by now."
I rolled my eyes. "Come on, you would have enjoyed seeing that just as much. But I have to admit, it was funny seeing him so shit scared of you." I looked over to the rapidly disappearing figure. "You know, I think he peed in his pants a little bit."
"Quite possibly," Dimitri agreed, before going to retrieve the elastic.
When he came back, I had unclipped my necklace and was sliding my ring back onto my finger. Dimitri handed me the elastic before helping refasten the chain of my Nazar. Then he took my hand, kissing it before leading me back to our pitch.
When we got there, Adrian was looking really excited about something, gesturing wildly to the others.
"-got the balloons from the party. We have helium!"
Lissa looked sceptical. "Isn't that bad for your lungs."
Adrian shrugged, and looked to Sydney for clarification. She in turn looked embarrassed. "I'm... not sure." At everyone's shocked looks, she rushed to add something. "It's an inert gas, so it shouldn't do any chemical damage... but I really don't know. Probably best to avoid too much, or doing it altogether."
I rolled my eyes, stepping forward to grab a balloon from where it was tied to a folding chair. "We're vampires. It can't be that bad, and it hasn't affected me yet." Biting the balloon near the base, I sucked in a breath of helium. After a few seconds, I spoke.
"That is unacceptable behaviour! Guardian Hathaway, please remove yourself from my lesson!"
Everyone laughed. "It's Stan!" Eddie shouted, and for guessing right, I handed him the balloon.
"I am your father..." He quoted, sending another bout of laughter around the group. My own high-pitched giggles rang out the loudest.
"You'll never defeat me!" I added.
Eddie passed the balloon to Dimitri, nearly dropping it through his laughter. "You sound ridiculous!"
"You sound ridiculous!" I countered, quoting Ice Age.
"You both sound ridiculous!" The squeakiest voice yet shouted.
The whole group fell silent as we tried to comprehend what was going on. It was clearly Dimitri who had spoken, the accent was unmistakable and Nikolai was laughing too hard to be able to form words.
Suddenly, another wave of laughter broke out at the look on Dimitri's face. He was even more shocked at the sound of his own voice than we were.
"Dimitri... sounds like... a chipmunk!" I managed to force out between laughs that were practically sobs.
"He sounds like he did when he was 13!" Viktoria choked out. "It was like living with a more irritating sister for a few months!"
"Sufferin succotash!" Adrian spluttered.
By this point I was laughing so hard it was a real possibility I would die from asphyxiation.
Adrian took the balloon next. "It sounds like Belikov's been kicked in the Ball-ikovs!" He squeaked.
I collapsed, hands grasping at the grass as though I could get a hold on my laughter and stop for long enough to take a breath. It wasn't working.
"What is all this noise?" A new, normally-pitched voice asked. I forced an eye open to see the entire elderly crew standing to the side of the circle.
"Dimitri on helium!" Christian squeaked.
Mom rolled her eyes. "Well it can't be this funny."
"Nothing can be this funny," Abe added.
"I sound like a teenage fangirl!" Dimitri protested, ruining any progress I'd made on reigning in my giggle fit. Even the sceptics joined in this time. Giving up on oxygen, I took another breath of helium.
"Listen to little Dimka!" I teased. "He's like a spice girl on crack! If you wanna be my lover..." I wheezed. The new round of laughs distracted me enough that I didn't notice Abe grab a balloon until it was too late and the quote was ruined forever.
"I am your father!"
It was an hour before the helium was gone and the giggles finally stayed away.
Viktoria and Nikolai fit in really well with the group, and everyone enjoyed watching her and Dimitri tease each other. It was really sweet.
As the day drew on, however, a stillness descended over the campsite. The rustling of the pines grew quiet as the wind dropped, and there was a slight heavy, electric feeling in the air.
"There's a storm coming." Abe said ominously. "A big one."
We all decided to turn in early that evening, since we didn't want to be caught out in the coming rain. We said our goodnights, zipped up the tent flaps and retreated to our beds before night had fully fallen.
Sorry it's quite short, but the next chapter is much longer :)
Review to hear Dimitri on helium!