Between the Lines 6
"Trixie, what's up with you? You've been acting all out of sorts for days!" Amber said as she slipped into Patricia's bedroom.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Amber," Patricia retorted as she spun lazily in her wheely chair. She had been trying to tackle her literature homework, but her wandering mind made the attempt useless.
"Yes, you do," Amber insisted. "You've been off ever since that Eddie boy came around." She waved Patricia off when she started making a protesting noise. "But you've been especially weird since that party a few days ago!"
That party. Yes, Patricia was definitely a lying fool. How could she deny that their wandering hands didn't plague her at night? And Eddie. Her… relationship? Friendship? With the blond American was just much too confusing for her to handle. They always ended up screaming at each other, but no one cried. No one was hurt or angry. They were simply… passionate. Ew.
"Nothing happened," Patricia growled as she stared at her navy bedspread. "And nothing is going to happen. Not at a party, not with some blokes, and definitely not with some stupid American!"
Amber curled her hair around her finger as she took in Patricia's volatile mood. She had tried to give Patricia a couple days before approaching her in the hopes that whatever had arisen would have calmed down, but by Wednesday night she was spiraling out of control. She was giving Eddie the cold shoulder, startled easily when touched, and refused to eat. The entire house was worried, especially Eddie.
"Come on, Trix, you know you can tell us anything," Amber mollified as she tried to pat her shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" Patricia screamed. In her panic-induced terror, Patricia saw herself push Amber so hard that she knocked her hip against the bedpost.
Hands… trailing up and down… pinning her against the rough bricks… no, not there! Not there!
"Patricia!"
Get off, get off, getoffgetoffgetoff!
"Patricia, breathe!" Someone's hands were trapping her own. She couldn't move. She couldn't think. She couldn't. She couldn't.
"Patricia, where is your inhaler?"
What was in her mouth? Get it out! Why did the air taste so bad all of a sudden? Stop it! Get it out! Get it… Okay. Everything is gonn- Ew. Inhalers taste nasty.
Amber's worried blue eyes were staring down at her. When did Patricia end up on the floor? Looking past her, she could see Eddie hovering near the door with Joy holding him back. Patricia groaned as she through an arm over her eyes and rolled away from them.
After shooing them away with a glare, Amber asked Patricia, "You can't possibility make me think that nothing is wrong, can you?"
Patricia was much too tired to argue anymore. "It was them," she mumbled.
"Who?"
"Paul, Ryan, and J-john," she stuttered quietly. Amber's boots scuffed the floor as she paced back and forth. Those three were easily known as the biggest pricks on campus.
"Please tell me they didn't." Her footsteps stopped as she tugged at her hair.
"I would be lying," Patricia sighed quietly, still refusing to look at Amber. If Patricia had seen Amber's face, she would have seen an uncharacteristic darkness settle upon her normally gentle features. She might be Anubis House's favorite ditzy blonde, but she was fiercely protective of her friends.
"How bad?" Amber bit her lip. Patricia shook her head, now resting fitfully on Amber's criss-crossed legs. Her black fleece-lined leggings were soft against her cheek – much preferred to the dusty hardwood floor.
"Not as bad…" Patricia didn't finish her meek sentence, but Amber knew how it was supposed to end. Not as bad as you. "How did you get over it? How did you stop feeling like their hands were still on you?"
Amber gently ran her fingers through Patricia's hair, pretending not to notice a stray tear free fall off the edge of her nose. "I had a close group of friends," Amber smiled wanly, "who did more than enough to help me piece myself back together. Then I made sure that they knew that I was stronger than they were. That they couldn't depress my spirit. Confidence, Trix."
"I- " a broken sob cut off Patricia's broken thoughts.
"Shhh, it might take a while, but you'll get there. We'll get you there."
"The-they said tha-at Eddi-edd-ie told them I t-took medic-c-ation." Patricia inhaled sharply through her stuffy nose. The betrayal hurt her deep in her heart, hurt her more than the death of her father.
That's why she's been avoiding him lately! "Trix," Amber said softly. "Our entire house knows that you take some sort of medication." She eased her down as Patricia tried to sit up indignantly. "We've never told a soul, but you know how nasty rumors can get. I have full faith that Eddie would rather die than betray you like that. More likely than not, they were trying to taunt you with some rumor they had heard and were lucky enough for it to turn out to be true."
"Lucky! I don't want to have to take them! What kind of luck is that?"
"You know what I mean. They were teasing you and were glad to see that it shook you. That's all. None of it was Eddie's fault and their pigheadedness is not your problem."
"I miss my dad." Amber froze. Patricia had never willingly talked about her father before, even when her housemates had directly asked her.
"What was he like?"
"A high-ranking naval officer who was too obsessed with war for his own good," Patricia replied bitterly. "Or maybe he just wanted to run away from his family."
"Don't you have any good memories of him?"
"He loved gummy bears," Patricia smiled. "He would always bite off the heads first or throw them high into the air and catch them in his mouth. But he would never eat the green ones."
"Where is he now?"
"Dead." Pausing for a breath, Patricia went on, words tumbling out of her mouth, "He killed himself after his third deployment. I hated him for re-enlisting. I was fourteen. I hated him. I just wanted him to stay home and get a normal job and be a normal dad, but he kept leaving! And when he came home he would have these crazy nightmares, and one time I tried to wake him up and he slammed me against a wall, and I was so scared, but now I realize that it was probably PTSD or something that wasn't really his fault. But he kept leaving! He wouldn't stay and get the help he needed. He tore all of us apart!"
"I'm sure your dad was an honorable…"
"I don't want to hear that!" Patricia snapped. "You know, that's why these Americans repulse me so much. They love to glorify their soldiers, but they never pay attention to what's really happening!"
Patricia eventually fell into a deep, shuddering sleep on the floor of her bedroom, using Amber's lap as a pillow and clutching at her hands. Amber quietly called Eddie, who had been standing guard outside the door, in to help her move Patricia to the bed. He staggered in, face ashy.
"Does she really hate me that much?" Eddie asked Amber. Amber shook her head.
"This isn't about you," Amber replied. This is about Patricia and the boys who attacked her. This is about Patricia and the dad who left her. This is about Patricia and the demons she finally has to put to rest."
Eddie nodded.
"You have to help her. No matter what she says, she desperately needs your unwavering strength."
"Of course," he replied as he placed his hand on top of hers gripping his forearm. "Anything she needs." He pulled her in for a hug they both needed. "What happened to you?"
"It was eighth year," Amber mumbled into his chest before looking him in the eye. "I was… developing a little faster than the rest of the girls, and they decided that they wanted to know what a woman's chest looked like. And felt like. And… for some reason, tasted like."
Eddie felt a fire in his heart that he had felt so infrequently before. He absolutely adored Amber, and he couldn't handle the thought that anyone would violate her – or anyone – like that. "What happened to them?"
"Nothing," Amber said regretfully. Eddie blinked.
"What?"
"Well, Patricia 'accidentally' punched all of them in the face, but nothing else."
"Why didn't you tell anyone? Why weren't they punished? Why are they still here?"
"Eddie," Amber addressed him seriously. "Do you really think you could tell the headmaster that a group of boys forced you out of your trousers while one boy licked your penis and the other two held you up against a wall? Especially when you were only twelve years old?"
"No," he confessed apologetically. He didn't even have to think about it. "I don't think I could even do it now. I probably couldn't even tell my friends about it, let alone a teacher."
"It took me so long to be able to tell someone other than my close group of friends, but by that time two years had already passed. It was too late to do anything-"
"Wait, they've been doing this for…" he did the math. "Four years? This has to stop!"
"I know! I just- I hate them!"
"I know, baby girl," Eddie rocked her back and forth. He had never had any siblings or friends he had felt so… protective over. Only his mom. He squeezed his eyes shut at the thought.
"You know, Eddie, Patricia could be the one to stop them."
"Hm?"
Amber looked up earnestly. "Patricia – she's tough as nails. If we all stand beside her – if we can get in touch with some other girls and encourage them to tell their stories – we can report them to Mr. Sweet and see that they're gone. They long deserve the punishment as much as we girls deserve the closure."
"Definitely, but I don't want her to get hurt." Eddie lifted a hand from where it was splayed comfortably at Amber's waist to tug at his hair.
"Eddie." Amber paused until he was looking at her. "She's already been hurt. Now, she needs to have the freedom to walk about without looking over her shoulder to see if they're lurking nearby. She needs the reassurance that these criminals aren't being let off easy. Don't you see that's what she needs? What we need? What I-" Her voice shattered.
"Hush, baby girl," he crooned. God, when did he get so sentimental? "We'll get you through this. All of you."
Amber sighed. This American was so easy to adore – even if Patricia resented him for their contrasting views on military service. If only he weren't so blindly head-over-heels for Patricia! She reprimanded herself. What about Alfie?
"I didn't know if you'd recognized me," Nina said as she sat next to Eddie in the empty common room. It was a lazy Saturday evening and the others were out and about.
"Sorry," Eddie said, shaking his head.
"We were in the same grade, back in Montgomery High, but we never had any classes together."
"So, how did you recognize me?" Eddie replied playfully. "My awe-inspiring reputation? My charming good looks?"
"You had quite the reputation," Nina started. "But we both know it wasn't the best." Eddie cringed.
"How did I hurt you?" he asked quietly. Silently, Nina pushed up her left sleeve and displayed her forearm. Three curious slanting scars.
"I don't understand," he said, not remembering. Nina took his right hand and laid his fingers over the scars. His fingertips fit perfectly. Claw marks.
"Oh my god."
It was the middle of sophomore year and Eddie was rip-roaring drunk. He could see why Adam liked it so much. The haziness was fun. It was easy to blame excuses on too many cheap cans of beer. At least it was fun until someone heard that cops were showing up at the party. So he cut across a few random backyards and found himself on some random street. Whatever.
Sitting on the front porch was some girl – Dina? Dayna? N… Natalie? Whatever. She just looked familiar. What was she doing out at… fuck that, he couldn't read the tiny numbers on his watch. He should get a new watch. He grinned. He should just steal Adam's – crazy dick would never know where it went.
"Hey!" he called out to her. "Wha' you doin'?"
"Just waiting for my parents to get home. They've never been this late before." Nina shrugged. "It's late. How are you getting home?"
"Nah, I don't wanna go ho-ome," Eddie sang. "Just wanna talk to a pretty lil piece like you."
"Eddie, come on. You've got to go home! It's… nearly one in the morning!" Nina took a hold of his elbow as she tugged him toward the house. "I'll look up your address in the directory and try to call your parents or something."
"No! Don' worry – the stepdad's probably drunker than me rrrrrright now," he rrrrrolled his rrrr's. That was fun.
"Then I guess you can…" Eddie didn't really hear much of what she was saying because all he could think about in his inebriated state was how much he wanted some peanut butter. Right now.
Nina shoved him at a couch. When did they get inside? I wonder what the doorbell sounds like. "You can crash here if you'd like. The bathroom's down the hall, to the left. Let me know if you need anything." Nina made to move back outside.
"Wait!" Nina waited patiently. "Let's make out."
"What?" Nina frowned at his crudeness.
" 's jus' kissin', c'mon, don't be such a wuss." Eddie grabbed at her arm.
"No! Stop that! Let go of me!" But Eddie only held on tighter. Nina finally wrenched her arm out of her grasp, but his long nails left deep welts in her skin. Blood oozed out of her skin, free-falling towards the floor.
"Oh, my god! Look what yo…"
Eddie had fallen asleep.
"Nina, I really just… oh, my god," Eddie blubbered. How could he forget this? How could he have been such an ass? Nina just shook her head.
"I've always believed in second chances, Eddie. But when you start messing around with someone who doesn't know what you've done barely a year ago…" Nina trailed off.
"What are you trying to say?" Eddie said nervously.
"There is no 'second chance' with Patricia – this is your second chance. Don't screw this up."
"I promise you – I might be thick skulled, but I would never hurt her like that." Nina blinked at him curiously.
"Eddie, just a year ago, you were the American version of Paul, Ryan, and John combined." Her accusation stabbed him in the chest.
Because Nina was completely right.
What do you think? Is Nina right about Eddie? What exactly went on in Eddie's past? How does Amber feel about Eddie? What's going to happen to Eddie and Patricia's relationship?