ALRIGHT SO ITS 230. WHEE! Omg. OnlyinthisLight (dude 'wet dreams!' Omg hilarious.) mentioned something about something called Kingdom Hearts: The Stupid files and I was like ….? SO I youtubed it and OMG. i. died. It is the most hilarious KH vid I have ever seen. Go watch it. XD
AND RANDOM question to all. A few What ifs coming up require me knowing canon knowledge of what goes on with dear Aku and Roku duing Orgy 13 time. I have no DS and have only know the gist of CoM, and I have no knowledge other than Roxas leaves to find out more about what he can't remember about his somebody and Axel is sad.
SO anyone who could help out with that is appreciated. because I've seen icons of like the two of them eating sea salt ice cream in twilight town (le duh) but I was like Dude when did that happen. XD
AND I sat here and racked my brains forever, but Aranel wasn't on to help me brainstorm, and so the only way I could think of breaking a leg (I have never broken limbs XD) was stairs. I couldn't think of anything as crazy as the making out and kicking the hamster into traffic business for it. XD
Here goes for making this one hilarious. HIGHHOSILVA! XP (I use faces too much.)
What If…
Roxas caught the flu?
((as suggested by ze lurvely Inspire-Illuminate))
Roxas sneezed as he walked through Twilight Town with Axel on one of their 'penalty-for-being-annoying-asshats' missions. Axel looked raised an eyebrow as Roxas sniffled.
"You alright Roxy?" he asked, mildly concerned. "I don't want you catching a cold on this difficult mission we're on," he grinned and Roxas smiled weakly.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," Roxas said dismissively, waving him off. "I just have a little headache is all." Axel took off his gloves and put one hand to his head and the other to Roxas' head. "Hmmmm…." he pondered, into 'Dr. Axel:Medicinal Wonder' mode. "I think you have a fever…"
"Do not," Roxas protested as the walked by the Ice Cream shop.
"I know what will make you feel better! A good sea-salt ice cream and a trip to the clock tower!"
Roxas' stomach churned at the idea of ice cream. "I'm not hungry," he said continuing walking.
Axel stopped in his tracks. "You don't want ice cream? This is serious." He summoned a portal, and dragged Roxas back through to the Superiors office.
-----((leave it to Axel XD))---
The Superior raised an eyebrow when he heard a knock on his door. Everyone should be busy with missions…he pondered, bidding his visitors entrance. His eyes widened as he saw Numbers VIII and XIII enter his office. Hmm…I gave them a slack-off mission. Why are they back?
"State your business Number VIII," The Superior began, speaking to the superior of the two members.
"Roxas is sick!" He pulled Roxas up next to him. "He has a fever, and he's been sneezing, and he has a headache! I think he should be excused today."
The Superior raised an eyebrow. Why would they want to get off of an easy mission…? Something's up. "Come here, XIII." Roxas slowly approached the Superior, sneezing. "Hmmm…" he thought. "You do look sick…VIII."
"Sir?"
"Stay and care for him. And if I hear a word about any explosions, I'm turning you into a dusk. Agreed?"
"Sure," he grinned, steering Roxas out of the room.
Roxas looked as if he had just received a death sentence. "Why is it that you trying to cure the flu doesn't sound like the best idea?"
Axel feigned hurt as they walked towards Roxas' room. "Don't you think I'm the best doctor out there?" he said jokingly.
Roxas looked at him warily. "What do you do to treat the flu?"
Axel shrugged. "Sex?"
Roxas groaned as they walked into his room, flopping onto his bed. Axel laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Put on your PJs Rox! I do know that you need rest!"
Roxas smiled wryly as he took of his jacket. "And you're actually going to let me get rest?"
Axel grinned. "Don't worry; I have a plan! I'll be right back!" he said, strolling out of the room.
-----((oh lord Axel with a plan))----
Axel skimmed Google on his computer, searching for flu remedies. Hmmm…there has to be a few good things on here…Aha! He thought, discovering a site full of home flu remedies. He wrote a few down that he thought would work, smirking.
"Let the games begin!"
-------((poor Roxas))-----
Roxas sighed in frustration as he tried in vain to read his romance novel while Axel was away. Gah! he thought angrily, throwing the book on his desk. I can't focus!
"Damned headache…" Roxas sighed, turning over in bed. "I wish this damn thing would just go away…"
As if on cue, Axel popped in through the door carrying a small yellowish drink. "First remedy coming up!"
Roxas looked at him, cautious. "Before I drink that, you have to list to me everything you put in there and how much."
Axel feigned offense as he handed him the drink. "It's nothing much really…just some hot water, lemon juice, honey…"
Roxas looked a bit relieved and took a small sip as Axel continued listing. "…Some cloves, and a good helping of whisky!"
Roxas choked as the small amount of drink burned his already sore throat. "Axel! What makes you think hot alcohol is going to make me feel better!"
"But it's supposed to work! I was just going to give you straight whisky, but I ran into Marluxia on the way down here and he told me how to make a 'hot toddy' properly…"
Roxas raised an eyebrow. "And we're trusting Marluxia with my health?"
Axel pondered that for a moment, before abruptly taking the drink away from Roxas. "We'll try something else," he said shortly, disappearing again.
-----((time elapse))-----
Roxas warily looked towards the door as he heard it open. He watched as Axel arrived bearing an entire gallon of orange juice and a glass. Roxas' eyes widened. "The hell Axel? Are you expecting me to drink that entire thing?"
"You're supposed to drink Vitamin C to boost your immune system and increase while blood cells!" Axel defended, pouring Roxas a liberal glass. "Drink."
Roxas glared at him, sipping it slowly. Axel watched avidly, as if Roxas was going to miraculously heal before his eyes. Roxas smirked at him. "It's not a miracle cure you know," he said.
Axel put the gallon on the desk, pulling up the chair next to Roxas' bed. "I know!" he said, pulling out his list of cures. "What's next…" He looked up to see Roxas staring at him. "What are you waiting for? Drink up!" Roxas sighed and continued to drink his orange juice. "Here's one!" Axel said, getting up. He disappeared, and Roxas sighed, putting the orange juice down on the desk. Axel stuck his head in the door.
"Drink!"
Roxas threw a pillow at the door. "I will, dammit!"
--------
Axel reappeared with a bucket of water. "That gallon still has a lot of orange juice in it," he said pointedly, putting the bucket on the ground. Roxas glared at him.
"I'm not a sponge," he retorted, sneezing, "I can't just fill myself up!"
Axel made a noise of disbelief as he moved towards him. "Whatever, time to sit up now."
"What? Where am I going?" Roxas said as he let Axel help him sit up. Axel shifted the blankets so they were around him.
"You're going to soak your feet!" Axel explained, "It's supposed to get rid of your headache."
Roxas nodded. "Makes sense," he said as he put his feet in the water. "So…now what?"
Axel consulted his list. "Aha!" he shifted so that he was sitting behind Roxas. He brought his hands up to Roxas' shoulders, rubbing them in small circles. Roxas jumped in surprise, turning to see Axel grinning at him.
"How does that help?" Roxas said, already leaning into Axel's ministrations.
"It's supposed to activate your immune system," Axel said dismissively, pushing harder on those stress spots. "Besides," he smirked as he moved closer. "It gives me something to do…"
Roxas sighed as Axel continued. "Or should I say someone…"
Roxas was brought out of his euphoria, turning slowly to look at Axel. "Hey now, I'm supposed to be healing…"
"I know," Axel said, sighing. "But that was the last remedy that I had! How about if I massage a little lower…" Axel moved one of his hands to rub Roxas' chest, tickling him slightly. Roxas chuckled, inadvertently pulling his feet out of the water as he shifted to get closer to Axel.
"Can I opt for this to be the 'rest' part of the day again?" Roxas asked as he wiped his feet dry on his carpet, laying down in bed again.
Axel grinned. "Of course you can," he replied, never breaking his embrace. "Now I can pamper you properly…" He made a small line of kisses down Roxas' neck towards his collarbone. Roxas gasped, flushing.
Axel smirked as he moved lower. "Now Roxas, I thought your fever was going away…"
Roxas groaned as Axel's other hand appeared on his knee and inched itself slowly upward. "I-I'm sick, Axel…"
"I know, I'm not doing anything exerting am I?" Roxas shook his head. "Just tell me when to stop."
"But," Roxas said heatedly, "I don't want you to…"
"Then I won't," Axel grinned, coming up to Roxas' lips for a kiss.
-----(((waiiit for iiit))----
Roxas groaned as he rolled over the next morning, snuggling into Axel to shield his eyes away from the sun. Shit, it' s morning already…He poked Axel in the ribs. "Hey. Get up."
Axel opened an eye, yawning. "Wow. Time flies when you're having fun," he grinned, pulling Roxas closer to him. "Say Roxy…how are you feeling?"
Roxas thought for a moment. "…A lot better actually. Wow," he said, "I think you're crazy cures might have worked…"
Axel snorted. "Doubt it. I think it was the sex," he grinned. Roxas hit him lightly over the head. "Hey! You never know!"
Roxas didn't comment as he snuggled closer to Axel. "You could be the cure for the common cold and no one would know," he suggested.
Axel smiled. "You going to bottle me up and put me in a store?" Roxas hit him again.
"Just shut up and go back to bed. As far as Xemnas knows I'm still sick," he said, feigning a sneeze.
Axel grinned deviously. "But what if I don't want to go back to bed?" he said, coming closer to Roxas.
Roxas smiled. "Then I guess we could do something?"
Axel laughed, "Or someone…"
--------------
HEEEEEEEEEEEee. I liked that one. There's not that much sick in there, but too many people are invalids as of late. XD
Yes, sex with Axel is the cure for all maladies. XD AND i did not make up ANY of my remedies. Except Axel.
R AND R!
freaky-hanyou