Hello guys, here's chapter 16! Thank you for your comments and favs, I hope you'll like this one too! Let me know in the comments, ok? Xx

Rey watched Ben and Isobel getting away, side by side, her small arm around his back, her hand clutching his black shirt to support his weight.

An anger she had never felt before invaded her mind. She felt hot all over, and then ice cold. The ground started to vibrate under her feet, and she flinched: astonished at her own reaction, she turned around and ran outside.

She passed five hangars before turning towards the forest that bordered the base to the east. She stopped running when she felt she was deep enough within the green heart of the woods. Then she collapsed on the soft damp ground, panting.

She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. In, out. In, out. She tried to remember Luke's teachings on meditation, on self-analysis, and she turned her attention inward, in an attempt to understand the reason why she was feeling angry and frustrated and sad and terribly lonely.

She saw Ben. Ben ignoring her. Ben shutting her out of his mind. Ben with Isobel. Ben laughing with Isobel. The trees around her started to shake, the smaller branches quaking so violently that some of them snapped and fell to the ground. Rey sank her hands in the soft earth, gasping.

She knew what that anger was, then. Jealousy. Stupid, annoying, simple jealousy. It cut her like a knife, every time the image of Ben with Isobel crossed her mind.

And after the anger, pain came over her. What if Ben chose to ignore her until he left for the mission? What if he chose to spend his time with Isobel, shutting her out of the bond, out of his life, permanently? What if he went through with his stupid suicidal plan, and they never spoke again?

Rey let out a cry of frustration and anguish.

It hurts too much. Too much.

She hugged herself, the sadness and pain she felt inside too much to bear.

Calm down. Calm down. You're useless like this.

Rey started humming a song someone had sung to her when she was a baby. It was one of the few precious memories she had from before Jakku, and it had always helped her. Her breathing got less erratic, her heartbeat slowed down. In a sense, she felt less alone, like the song was a calming presence that enveloped her in a warm comforting embrace.

I must protect my heart, she thought. I can't suffer like this just because a man won't talk to me.

She felt hot tears running down her cheeks, and angrily brushed them off with the back of her hand. She knew that calling Ben 'a man' was restrictive. He wasn't just 'a man'. But this was the only way she could push herself to react, to do something to protect her own heart. Reducing Ben to a male presence like any other meant she could have no qualms about closing off her heart to him.

Heart of steel.

She rose, taking deep breaths to centre herself.

Shut him off. Heart of steel.

Her eyes dried up. Calmly, Rey started walking, out of the woods, back to the base, back to her room, all the while reciting her new mantra in her head.

Shut him off. Heart of steel.

In the following days Luke's worry increased every time he glanced at his nephew in the Reconnaissance headquarters, every time he spotted Rey moving from the Mecha wing to the training centre. They both worried him, in different ways.

He hadn't talked to Ben about his foolish suicidal plan after that first time in Poe's room, but he knew his nephew hadn't changed his mind. He had thrown himself into work: Luke knew Ben was always up at dawn, and he was the last to leave in the evening. He spent the majority of his time with councillor Krieg and her team. He was always working, had almost no time to talk to his mother, or to him, or to the few friends he had at the base. And he was completely ignoring Rey. Luke knew that they hadn't interacted once since the day of the verdict. He saw the dark circles under his nephew's eyes, and he suspected they weren't just signs of exhaustion from his work and the Force-suppressing cuff.

Rey was a source of worry in a different way. She behaved normally enough: she regularly talked with her friends, sometimes she trained with him, and she always took time to take a walk with Leia in the evenings, but there was an air about her, a new hardness that was probably connected to Ben's behaviour. It was as if a part of her had completely shut down, like a faulty machine, and Luke could see the flashing warning spy that signalled something was very wrong.

The Jedi master decided to let some time pass, hoping that Ben and Rey could solve their issues without his intervention.

A few days after her breakdown in the woods, Rey woke up with a strange feeling. There was something in the air, something oppressing that didn't bode well, but since she felt numb as usual and nothing transpired from the silent bond, she ignored it all and went to work at the Mecha station.

An hour after midday, when she felt she needed a break, she left the hangar and the X-wing she was working on, and headed towards the mess hall.

Immediately she realised that something was off: people were staring at her, with eyes full of fear and alarm.

"What is it?" she said out loud.

A shy-looking girl from Qobin's department approached her cautiously, as if Rey were a wounded animal.

"There's been an accident… at the Reconnaissance department. A panel short-circuited and provoked a massive explosion."

"Gods, is everyone ok?" Rey asked, worry immediately gnawing at her stomach.

"There were no casualties because… because… damn, I thought you already knew." The girl shook her head. "Ben Solo protected everyone by using the Force as a shield. But…" she hesitated.

Rey felt her blood turn into ice.

"But…what?"

"But he was hit full force by all the debris. He's in the infirmary now, barely alive… I thought you would feel it through your bond" she concluded.

Rey didn't even thank her. She bolted towards the infirmary, an iron fist crushing her heart in her chest. She arrived panting hard, her lungs burning. She burst through the door of the waiting room, finding Leia, Luke… and a dishevelled-looking Isobel Krieg, who was sobbing quietly in a corner.

Rey looked at Luke and Leia with air of accusation.

"Why didn't anyone bother to tell me?" she asked, voice trembling.

"We thought you would already know" Leia answered, surprised.

Rey shook her head, and lowered her eyes.

"He shut me out the day of his trial. The bond has been silent ever since."

"What?" said Leia. "But… why-"

"That's not important right now. Please, how is he? Is he going to be ok?"

Luke put a hand on his sister's shoulder.

"We don't know yet. The doctors and medi-droids are examining him as we speak."

Rey nodded, biting her lower lip in worry. Then she turned her icy gaze on Councillor Krieg.

"What happened?" she asked her.

Isobel sniffled, but she looked at Rey in the eyes.

"We were all gathered around the main table, looking at a holomap… Ben had been trying to figure out which planets would be more at risk should the weapon be ready sooner than we-"

"I don't care about that" Rey interrupted. "Tell me about the explosion".

A flash of irritation passed over Isobel's face, but she went on.

"Suddenly we heard a noise coming from the control panels behind us, like a crackling. Holden, one of our officials, said he had seen sparks coming from the panel. Ben asked me to take his cuff off. His tone of voice was... I didn't even think, I just unlocked it - every councillor has a key - a moment later there was another noise, then another, then smoke, more sparks and boom. Everything went to hell. I had closed my eyes and crouched down hoping it would be over soon, but the blast never reached me. When I looked up, I saw Ben standing in front of the panel with his arms outstretched. He was bleeding everywhere; he had managed to freeze most of the debris directed at us in mid-air, but he had been hit hard. Everyone else was ok though. Then he said, 'Get out' and I knew he wouldn't resist much longer. So I ushered everyone outside, and when I closed the door-"

Rey stepped towards her. Isobel stopped talking, alarmed.

"You… you left him inside? You left him on his own?" her voice was deadly quiet. The chairs in the waiting room started to vibrate.

"Rey, control yourself" Luke said, his voice firm although he was looking at Isobel with ill-concealed disdain.

Rey closed her eyes, breathing deeply. The chairs stilled. She spoke to Isobel.

"You don't abandon a partner in danger. Ever. You are nothing but a selfish coward."

"I got everyone out! What else could I do?" the Councillor sobbed.

"You could have thrown him to the ground! You could have dragged him behind the table! You could have tried to move the frozen debris away from him!"

"But… it was way too dangerous! I would have died with him in there! Are you trying to tell me-"

"HE'S NOT DEAD YET! AND YES, I WOULD HAVE STAYED WITH HIM IN THERE! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE?" Rey was out of her mind. Isobel cowered, scared and ashamed.

The noise of a door opening and closing startled everyone. A doctor appeared in the room, his face tired but satisfied.

Leia sprang up from her chair.

"He'll live. He was injured on the 79% of his body, but apart from a few scars he's going to be ok. He's awake and you can see him, but only two people at a time. And please, don't yell in here. The patients need to rest."

At these words Rey felt so relieved that her knees buckled, and she collapsed to the ground, trembling. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, and she let them flow freely.

"Rey, do you…" Leia said.

"You go ahead. I'll see him after you… if- if he wants" she answered.

The General nodded, and followed the doctor with Luke behind her.

Rey stayed on the floor, hugging her knees.

"Leave" she told Isobel without looking at her. "And stay the hell away."

The young Councillor opened her mouth as if to protest, but she thought better of it, and quietly left the room.

Leia entered the infirmary, and with her heart in her throat, she moved towards her son's bed. When she saw him, she had to lean on her brother for the shock: Ben's body was almost completely wrapped up in bacta-bandages, neck, chest, arms, stomach, everything. She felt her eyes prickle with tears, but then her son smiled at her.

"Hello mother."

"Oh Ben." Leia sat on the chair beside the bed. She caressed her son's hair and forehead.

"I love you for what you did. You have a good heart. No one could doubt it now. But…" she choked.

"You could have died, it's what your mother is trying to say" said Luke.

Ben sighed. "I know. But I'm going to die anyway in a few weeks, and besides I deserve it, so…" he shrugged, but in doing so, he grimaced in pain.

"Ben!" Leia exclaimed. "You don't deserve to die!"

He looked at her, incredulous.

"I killed father. I killed… I killed countless innocent people."

"Your father loved you, and he would agree with me that what you do deserve is a second chance, not death."

"And your actions so far show that this second chance was the best thing you could be offered, not only for you but for me, for your mother, for Rey, Chewie, Poe, Finn, and now for everyone in Reconnaissance" Luke concluded.

Ben's eyes started to droop.

"If you say so…" he murmured. "I'm sorry, I feel so tired…"

"Don't worry Ben, go to sleep. You'll recover more quickly." Leia put her hand on her son's head, and stroked the skin between the eyes with her thumb, as she had done countless nights when he was a little boy. It used to lull him to sleep in no time. It still worked, even now.

"Yes… love you… mum."

Leia gasped. She looked at Luke, shocked, sure she had misheard. But her brother smiled at her. She smiled back, happier than she had ever been in years. She leaned over Ben, kissed his forehead, and said, "Luke, let's send Rey in. These two need to overcome whatever problems they have. And then meet me with Finn and Poe in my quarters. We need to talk."