Destiny is destiny. And yet…
And yet somehow Seto Kaiba had managed to wrest control of the endless strand of his destiny that had laid out before them—his destiny and hers—and had reshaped it into something else entirely with his own hands. Something that she did not recognize—how had he beaten her?
What could Seto Kaiba have seen in that strange vision that had overtaken him, that had caused him to sacrifice Obelisk and to summon his White Dragon—to prove her and the Necklace wrong, to rip out the rug beneath her?
"I make my own destiny!"
What power the High Priest still had, then. To be able to change the course of fate, of history…
To give her this small, shining gift of hope in her chest that Marik could be saved…
The High Priest—or rather, Seto—had done this much for her.
Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to stop thinking of him as the High Priest Set. After all, after their last, most unfortunate encounter in her room before their fateful duel, Ishizu was not sure of much anymore.
Particularly them.
Ought there to be a them, even, after the poor show Seto had made of himself? After he had demonstrated that tender, fragile youth and… innocence… that gave him such vigor, despite his ever-present show of cynicism and world-weariness?
Ishizu blushed to herself to think of it, and not in a way that either of them would have liked.
How could she have made such a mistake in what she had seen would transpire between them? Had they been visions of the future between them, a future that no longer applied? Had they been a mere dream, a rather shameful expression of the disgraceful lust and desire she still bore for that young man? Or had they simply been a hint of memory of their shared past, all bleeding together with the future she so clearly craved, even while sleeping?
Had any of her visions of the two of them, either in past or in present, merit? Any scrap of truth, of things that would ultimately bring them together—High Priest Set and High Priestess Isis, in past and in future, two perfectly matched sides of the same coin, bound by their loyalty to their Pharaoh?
Perhaps she ought to start thinking of the Pharaoh as the name he used now… Yugi Moto.
Perhaps it would not hurt.
She found herself tossing and turning in her bed, trying to puzzle it all out in her mind, trying to grasp at that thread that had been taken out of her hands—the thread of destiny, of fate, of everything she believed she could trust seemingly severed irrevocably.
What does one do... what can one do when everything they believe in breaks irretrievably?
Where should I go?
Without the Millennium Necklace she felt bare, naked even in her nightgown and robe—exposed for all the world to see, to judge… like she was missing a part of herself.
As if the Priestess Isis herself, her own past self, had left her in the darkness for good.
Without fate, without destiny, without truth, who was Ishizu Ishtar?
She shuddered to think of it.
This nebulous, dangerous world, where nothing made sense, where nothing was certain and everything left to chance… this world where years of the most carefully wrought plans could be undone by a single boy and his arrogance.
She didn't know what overtook her; she found herself sitting up in bed, spine stick straight, a terror thrilling itself through her veins. Her head felt light, as if all of the oxygen in the room had abandoned her, left her to choke on her own fear and shuddering half-articulated breaths.
I need to get away. A bit of fresh air…
She wrapped her robe around herself tightly and tied the accompanying belt to hold everything in place, to stop her guts spilling out from behind the white linen and onto the hard linoleum floor before her.
Despite not being totally familiar with the ins and outs of the zeppelin, Ishizu managed to wander the corridors that all looked the same until she found a series of metal staircases that led up, up, up…
The gust of cool air that greeted her as she threw open the door at the top was truly a mercy. She tried not to focus on how high up in the deep, endless sky they must be—3000 feet? A full mile? Gods…
So great the works of mere man…
To both her dismay and, despite her best efforts, excitement, he was there, on the platform on top of the zeppelin. Still clad in that white trench coat, black buckles on his sleeves waving in the wind, Seto Kaiba was leaning forward on the railing, apparently in deep thought.
Is he thinking of me…?
Perish the thought. And yet a blush still fought its way onto her cheeks, despite the sheer foolishness of it all.
Of course, the cons came first to her.
Con: Seto Kaiba does not respect me, my life, or my way of living.
But what did her way of living truly mean anymore?
Con: Seto Kaiba is but a child, a boy who believes he is a man, a boy who has not truly seen what this world has to offer.
But she had lived underground her whole life, hidden from the outside world, from mere sunlight; was she truly different from he?
Con: Seto Kaiba is… to put it kindly… an amateur in the ways of the flesh.
And yet…
Pro: I cannot deny myself. Despite everything, I cannot.
I cannot deny my heart.
Ishizu took a deep breath, praying that Seto would not hear her, would not notice her most unwelcome presence from where she stood behind him, the night breeze making a windswept mess of their clothing and hair.
"What are you doing here, Ishizu? Don't you have somewhere better to be?" His voice wasn't cold or rude, just bored… bored and tired.
As if he were tired of the idea of her, her running around after him hopelessly crying out about fate and destiny into the void.
As if he would no longer pretend to tolerate her.
The apathy in his voice sent Ishizu's pulse fluttering anxiously, that stone in her chest thudding painfully, her skin erupting in gooseflesh at this apparent rejection.
Did we not have something, there, earlier? In my room? When you touched me, when we spoke?
Have you forgotten that, Seto Kaiba?
Or are you merely running away with your tail between your legs?
"Seto Kaiba." She murmured his name like a prayer, the sounds of him so comforting to say.
"Nnn." He tossed a careless glance over towards her as she moved over to stand beside him at the railing. The whole city spread out before them like a carpet of the gods, twinkling and rippling in places where there was life.
Things were still happening in the world, Ishizu had to remind herself. People going about their nightly activities, mothers tucking their children into bed with a kiss, adults making preparations go to bed, adolescents riding along the streets in their cars at night, feeling free…
Feeling free…
If destiny is not truly as I have seen it, if there is indeed no path along which all events must continue ever forward, then what is there for me?
Freedom?
"Seto, I must thank you again for defeating me, for showing me that fates can be changed," Ishizu began, her voice a murmur in the howling wind.
"Ishizu…" muttered Seto, not meeting her intent sea-blue gaze. His shoulders shifted uneasily under the coat.
"I didn't do it for you."
"I know," Ishizu replied simply, heart still in her throat.
They stood there like that for a moment, both refusing to acknowledge the awkward silence that had grown like a weed between them, threatening the twist them up in its tangled grasp.
Seto cast a glance back at her. His usually haughty face looked almost…afraid? He swallowed visibly as she stepped forward to stand beside him.
"About the other night, Ishizu… that…"
"Please, Seto, do not speak of it further if it troubles you so. I assure you, I have already put it out of my mind." Well, that is patently false, but…
At this false admission, Seto looked slightly pained. "No, Ishizu… that's… that's not what…" He looked at his hands and interlaced them on top of the railing.
"That's not what I wanted to happen."
Ishizu let out a light, airy laugh that sounded utterly forced to both of their ears, placing a meant-to-be-comforting hand atop his clasped hands for a moment, startling them both. "Oh, I know that. Please do not worry about it…"
Seto cut her off by leaning in and pressing his lips against hers simply, softly. Ishizu's eyes reflexively fluttered shut as every part of her came alive, her heart hammering in her chest, heat rising under her skin…
Before the events of last time could repeat themselves, most shamefully and painfully for both of them, Seto pulled away, looking shy, mouth twitching in a mixture of what looked like sadness and disgust.
Ishizu couldn't stop a smile from quirking at her lips, despite the embarrassment she also felt in her heart at his youth, his rashness, his innocence, his age…
He still cares after all?
"But you're so young, Seto Kaiba." The thought of her own now-dormant lust for him was almost shameful, bitter on her tongue... Eighteen years to her twenty, seemingly not insurmountable and yet a whole world of difference lay between them.
Seto let out a dry chuckle that almost sounded like a sob, surprising both of them. "If that's what you're worried about, Ishizu, I won't always be this young."
After a thoughtful pause he added flatly, "Or that inexperienced."
Then, softly, as if he would not, could not, believe that the great Seto Kaiba would ask this, in the humblest of ways: "... Will you wait? It just... for some reason... feels like this should happen, despite my better judgment." His voice was rough, as if even he, much less she, could believe the utter fragility of the words that spilled past his lips.
"Your feelings, such as they are, will change, I'm sure. I thought you did not believe in destiny, Seto Kaiba." Here was Ishizu's turn to try and return their usual banter, a hollow feeling rising in her heart at the thought of him feeling truly cold towards her.
Here Seto looked directly at her: a veritable deer caught in her headlights, vulnerable and open, frightened in her gaze. "It's not destiny I'm evoking, Ishizu... can you understand that?"
Ishizu moved her hand to rest atop his clasped ones once more, but she did not move it this time. In response, Seto rewarded her with a curt nod, his eyes holding hers as if in a vise.
Pro: I cannot deny myself this.
I will not deny myself this.
Despite the uncertainty that not knowing what the future held, for her or for anyone, there was something strangely comforting in this. This constancy. This ridiculous amount of potent emotion the pair of them felt for one another, despite the odds, despite their differences…
High Priest or no High Priest, High Priestess or no High Priestess…
This, for now, in this moment, with everything in the world—their past, present, and future all mingled together and at stake…
This would suffice.
And besides, while Seto Kaiba was still a babe in the woods, his whole sexual life looming before him like an endless plain, there would still be time, and ways, to… ahem… teach him the ways of love, would there not?
And for once, despite the fears still nestled within her, despite everything she would have to face come sunrise, Ishizu Ishtar found herself looking to the future with a certain joy in her heart.