You folk. I was going to write one of my own ideas, BUT I am in quite the sad mood, SO I figured HEY. let's be Emo Productive! (EP XD) So. Here I am! I haven't thought any of this out yet, so screw it.

AND, because of the whole I don't flipping know anything that happened while Roxas was in T-Town and Axel was alone at the organization, THIS one is going to defy canon.

And end happy I hope. XD (How sad is that I don't even know XD) I'm pretty sure it is.

Anyway, I've decided that when I do reach one of those What Ifs that is humanly impossible to make T, it will be put in a new story. I am only doing this cuz there aren't enough to change the rating, and there will only be a few. XD I would just put a warning in the beginning of the chapter, but I just have visions of ffnet discovering and taking it off and THEN busting me for interactiveness or something stupid.

K quickly now. HEY SORA WHENS YER BIRTHDAY. XD (watch you'll review before I post. XD) ahhaa I love how all of you feel for Cloud. XD ahha Kigichi, most of yours are going in the M. XP AND Axel as a girl is quite a popular request. XD Unfortunately, your crazy emo ones are months away. The Master List has grown out of control. But I'm catching up! XD I hope. Random Reviewer, not many people know I read yaoi let alone write it.

Zesty. 5k!? Good lord girl, quite a review. Omlord I would die if my computer broke you poor thing. mine's a trooper though. Survived over 100k viruses. XD and in fact, YOUR emo ones are next on the list XD GO figure. (bday is Dec 4th) DUDE THAT IS A BRILLIANT IDEA FOR A FIC. REMIND ME in June in case I forget. XD AND Valentines stuff anytime, Kiki sent one a bit ago, Ima just going to skip to them like I did for Christmas. And all requests are final. I'll think of something for it. XD

…We need to count how many times I go XD. cus my fav smilie doesn't show up with ffnet stories. that and the squiggle.

ANYHOO Kiki I feel for you and your Christianness girl, my dad told me he was worried about my soul one day. -.- I kinda wanna watch Blair witch, BUT I get scared easily. XD Hey Onlyinthislight, that's ME in an inidans game. XD

AND IM LOVIN THE HATE ON THE PATRIOTS. XD (Sorry Zoe, I have boston friends too XD) Boston teams have lost their love from me. (mumblegrumbleredsoxbitchesgrumble)

What else needs a comment of huge…um…Hikari, if I wrote that it'd be the same! XD Well maybe some bits would be different, but the main plot bits would be the same. XD Can you tell I'm trying to talk myself out of it. Yes. it would be the same. Cept maybe Cloud would watch solely for the commercials, and Leon would lose the right to talk. Same concept still. XD BUT if YOU think of a different What If involving the SuperBowl girl, I'll be glad to write it!

AND OMG TK THANK YOU! I CHANGED IT RIGHT AWAY. This is the bad thing about No beta. BUT those are silly cuz then it takes longer to update. (Shhhh, no one else noticed…XD)

Wow. Definitely longest authors note ever. What can I say, I love talking to you people. XD

ANYHOO. and remember! This. Defies. Canon. XD

What If…

Roxas found something that would replay someone's memories,

and saw what Axel went through when Roxas left?

((as suggested by the lurvely Zesty))

Roxas stretched out lazily on Axel's bed as he watched Axel change into his pajamas.

Axel raised an eyebrow as he pulled on a loose T-shirt. "See something interesting?"

Roxas grinned. "Hey, I have the right to look. After all I have been gone for quite awhile."

Axel's face softened as he laid down on the bed next to Roxas. "You were gone for almost a year, Roxas…" he said quietly. "You've never been gone that long before…"

"Well, look at all the good it did, right? We learned more about the Keyblade, so we'll be able to get more hearts! And, I know about my Somebody, like all of you…" He smiled. "Shit, he even woke up and I still got to keep existing. Tell me that isn't a good thing!"

"Do you remember what happened in Twilight Town, Roxas?"

Roxas paused. "…Kind of. Most of those memories were lost when I woke up Sora. Why?"

Axel shook his head. "No reason." He shifted, wrapping his arms around Roxas' smaller form and pulling the covers over top them. "Bedtime!"

Roxas looked up at Axel questioningly, but didn't comment. He's hiding something… "Night."

----((dodged that bullet, sorta. XD))----

You really don't remember…It's me, Axel.

Axel?

Talk about blank with a capital "B."

………

We're…best friends, right?

Sure…but I'm not getting turned into a Dusk for-Wait a sec! You remember now?

Y…eah.

Great! But, gotta make sure and all, so, umm…What's our boss's name?

…

Can't believe this…

………

Simply amazing Roxas! You really do remember me this time. I'm so flattered! But you're too late!

………

No one would miss me.

That's not true…I would.

----------

Axel shot up in bed as the alarm went off, consequently face-planting Roxas into the pillow when he shifted abruptly. Roxas made a 'mrwmf..?!' noise as he regained his senses, and sat up.

"What happened Axel? Where's the fire?" he smirked at his own lame pun.

For once, Axel didn't take the bait to make a snappy remark. "I'm sorry…I had a….nightmare."

Roxas stared at him, eyes going soft. "Would you like to talk about it? It helps, sometimes."

Axel quickly shook his head, standing up. "No, that's alright, I'm fine…Besides, we have to get moving or we'll be late for breakfast."

Roxas sighed as he stood up as well. Yep. Definitely hiding something. The question is what?

-----------

Roxas growled in frustration as he took out Heartless after Heartless in the forest in Wonderland. Stupid Superior…he grumbled, today was supposed to be 'Twilight Town Patrol Duty' after out little stunt with Marluxia's rose garden and a can of Crisco…He's catching on to us.

As Roxas sliced through the final Large Body, he landed on his feet, stumbling as one of his feet found purchase on something round. He slipped, falling straight onto the ground.

"My, my," a floating mouth said, "Not very graceful are we?" The mouth slowly grew a cat's body and grinning face, revealing the Cheshire cat as is walked slowly around Roxas.

"The hell?" Roxas said, picking up the small object that caused him to trip. It was no bigger than his fist, with sides like a soccer ball, reflecting aquamarine light on each side. He examined it closely.

"Are there…people in this?" He noticed little figures interacting on each facet, as if different movies all spliced into one.

The Cheshire cat smiled widely. "Aah! You have quite a treat there! Or is it a curse? Takes quite a turn to find out, but make sure you're prepared for the worst!"

"What are you talking about? What is this thing?"

The Cheshire cat ignored him as he laughed. "Does it play the past or the present? Does it play anything at all? What if it's an illusion? Aren't we all simply…illusions?" He asked, slowly disappearing.

"Wait!" Roxas exclaimed, "What does it do?"

The Cheshire cat chuckled. "Why don't you ask it!" He disappeared, laughing gaily.

Roxas cried out as he sat alone in the forest. "Why doesn't that damned cat ever make sense!" He stared at the blue orb, puzzled. Wait a minute… he said, examining a facet closer. That looks like…what happened this morning? Does this replay memories? He looked up at the shaded sky, noticing how late it was.

He pocketed the object, standing up. "I better get back…"

------((fast forward!))-----

Roxas relaxed on the floor against Axel, who was lying against his bed, quietly watching television as the two digested dinner. They chatted softly, only half paying attention to the television.

Roxas suddenly remembered the strange object. "Hey Axel, I found something strange today in Wonderland…"

Axel snorted. "What would be strange is if you found something normal in Wonderland…What is it?"

Roxas shifted, pulling the strange object out of his pocket. "I think it might play back memories…" he said slowly.

Axel's eyes widened. "Roxas. Give that to me."

Roxas looked at him, puzzled. "What's wrong?"

"Give it to me."

"Why?"

"Because it's dangerous!"

Roxas looked at him incredulously. "How is seeing memories dangerous?"

Axel paused. "It just…is!"

Roxas wrung his hands around the ball angrily, turning. "Axel…I just want to know what's wrong with you!"

"Roxas no!"

A bright filled the room, and in a blink, Axel, Roxas, and the ball disappeared, leaving an empty room in their wake.

----------------

Roxas blinked as they stood outside the castle in the World that Never Was, watching themselves near Axel. "What is this…?"

"No one would miss me," the Past!Roxas said, walking determinedly away from the Past!Axel.

"That's not true," Axel muttered dejectedly, "I would."

"Hey, I don't remember that…Are these your memories, Axel?" Axel said nothing as the scene changed to Axel, alone in his room, angrily going through his dresser.

"Goddammit!" he cried angrily, throwing the contents on the top of his dresser to the floor. "Fucking idiot…" He angrily stormed over to his bed, hearing a crunching noise beneath his feet. He froze, stooping down to pick up the one picture of him and Roxas together in Twilight Town, smashed under the broken glass.

"Dammit!" he swore again, collapsing on his bed and clutching his pillow. "Fucking Roxas…You just had to leave didn't you?" Axel cried out to his empty room, "didn't think how I'd feel about it! No sir! Fine! Stay there for all I care!"

Roxas heard a muffled cry of anguish as the scene changed abruptly to Axel in his room again, this time tossing and turning in bed as he tried to sleep.

"Mmmf…Roxy…stop, that tickles…" He rolled over, grinning as he fell to the ground, starting himself awake.

He sat up, sighing. "Roxas…"

The scene changed again, and as Roxas watched the scenes unfold in Twilight Town, his memory slowly came back to him about the events that transpired just before he woke up Sora and returned to the Organization.

Suddenly, the scene blinked and they were back in front of Axel's bed as if nothing happened. Roxas slowly put down the ball and looked up at Axel.

"…What just happened?"

Axel sighed. "You turned the ball and told it what you wanted. That's what's been bugging me recently," he explained, gesturing into the open air to mean his memories that they just viewed.

Roxas' eyes softened. "Axel…"

"You don't have to say anything. You were right to want to find out more about yourself."

"But I really didn't talk to you about it…"

"It's alright, you shouldn't have to."

"But I still should have!" Roxas suddenly cried out, his hands fisting on the floor. "You were important to me then too, I should have bothered to at least ask-"

"Its fine, Roxas, stop freaking out-"

"But you missed me!" Roxas continued, "And you didn't even say anything when I got back! I walked in the door, and you glanced up for maybe five seconds from the television, said 'Hey,' and that was it! I sat down next to you and continued on as if nothing happened! Why didn't you say anything if it was bugging you this much?"

Axel flinched at Roxas' truthful words. "…Because I didn't want to hurt you. You left because you wanted to, and it's my job to deal with my own feelings."

Roxas hit him in the shoulder. "You're supposed to communicate, here, it's what we do! When I'm sad, I tell you-"

"I'll usually figure it out first-"

"Well I wasn't here to figure you out!" Roxas yelled.

Axel hugged Roxas to him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I missed you," he whispered into Roxas' ear, "I'll be sure to tell you that I need you here with me more often."

Roxas gasped softly. "Really?"

"Of course," Axel grinned. "Couldn't you tell from my memories? I was pretty broken up."

Roxas turned slightly, reaching for the back of Axel's head. "Come here you," Roxas said, pulling Axel down to his level. "I'll show you how much I missed you…" he said deviously, kissing Axel fiercely.

---------------

Well. That was insane. And there's probably SOMETHING fundamentally wrong with it somewhere, but I don't feel like checking it. Ima tired.

Night lovelies! R AND R!

freaky-hanyou