Hello again, lovely readers! I first just want to say thank you for all your encouragement and reviewing so far. It's wonderful when people want to read the things you write and it's even better to hear from them. So thanks!

And thanks for reading if angst isn't your favorite, but it's going to be that way for a while. Just trust me!

I do want to clear a few things up for you all to hopefully help you enjoy the story more. Mary and Matthew's story in this is based off of real life astronaut couple Gordon and Trudy Cooper, as Gordon was a part of the Mercury Seven. Trudy Cooper was in fact the only astronaut's wife to have her pilot's license, which I have given Mary in this. At the time of Project Mercury (and in later programs) NASA insisted that all astronauts accepted for programs be test pilots and being a military test pilot is different from just having your commercial pilot's license, which the military did not allow women to get as of the early 1960s. This disqualifies women from applying to become astronauts in the American space program.

I also forgot to say that I hope to post updates once a week, probably on Saturday evenings (I know the first chapter was a Sunday, but I do what I want). If I need to make some adjustments, I'll try to say so at the beginning of subsequent chapters.

Thank you again for reading and I hope you enjoy this next installment!

Chapter Two

April 9, 1959

"Mrs. Crawley! Gosh, it's so great to finally meet you!"

Mary forced a smile, the first in a long line of many that she would have that day. A tiny woman had bounded up to her on the sidewalk, her blonde hair in a brushed under bob without a strand out of place despite the breeze.

They had just arrived at Langley Research Center, the men's press conference half an hour away. Matthew had told her to arrive early for a meet and greet with the wives, but she'd ignored him, hoping to spend as little time under the public eye as possible. Luckily, there were no cameras at the entrance, as the press had been shut out until the time of the press conference.

"Um, hello," Mary said, confused, as she looked from the woman to her two daughters, who both looked a few years older than George.

"Oh, sorry, you must not know me from Eve," the woman said cheerfully with a giggle. "I'm Anna. Anna Bates. Captain Bates is my husband."

"Yes, yes of course," Mary said as George careened past them, kicking his ball around and nearly hitting one of the Bates girls. She vaguely remembered the name 'Bates' from a list she'd received from NASA when they'd arrived yesterday. She'd barely skimmed over it, but had seen it included short bios for each family.

"George, stop that!" Mary scolded, picking up the ball and tossing it in the car, to her son's irritation.

"Don't worry about it," Anna said, extremely chipper. "Little boys, you know."

Mary nodded, feeling self-conscious all the same.

"We thought we'd be the only late ones," Anna said. "Cassandra packed the wrong dress and got a bit upset about it." She motioned to the taller girl, who looked rather glum in her pink frock.

"Well, may I just say it's about the prettiest dress I've seen, Cassandra," Mary said, finding it easy to be nice to the girl. She got a smile in response.

"Gosh, I just feel like I know so much about you already," Anna said as they made their way towards the entrance, Susan's small hand gripping Mary's as tight as she could.

Mary was taken aback by this statement, but she tried not to show it.

"Oh, really?" she asked, trying to seem interested, but was a little annoyed.

"Of course! My John's told me everything that's been happening during the testing. Their routine, the tests, everything! John's heard about you from Matthew, naturally," Anna gushed. "And then the list that the agency sent over really helped fill in a few gaps."

Mary forced a laugh, trying not to look cross, hiding the annoyance she felt. And a little bit of jealousy. She'd never bothered to ask Matthew about the tests, although she'd read enough about them in the paper to know she wished it was her.

"I'm sure he's just been building me up after being away for so long," she said. "You know men. Think you're an angel when they're far away, but when they get home, all they do is watch television."

"I'm sure that's not true, although I was sure surprised how much I missed John this past month. Clearly, your husband's been lost without ya," Anna said with a kind smile.

But Mary felt as though her intestines had been filled with lead. She kept her smile in place all the same in spite of the feat that such an expression really was. She was surprised Matthew had bothered to tell any of the other men about her at all, he was usually so good at only talking about himself.

"You know anyone else on the list? I noticed a few of the men were Air Force," Anna commented as they made their way into the building.

"Just the Aldridges," Mary said. "Atticus and Matthew were both at Edwards together, although I can't say I know very them well."

Mary actually wished they'd known her less well. She was sure Matthew had confided in Atticus about Mary wanting a divorce, for the last time she saw Rose she could just tell the other woman didn't approve, even if she never said anything.

When they'd found the conference room, he seven men stood around the front, talking with one another, laughing comfortably, while the wives sat to one side, their kids surrounding them. Mary sighted Matthew, who had his back to them, wishing she had the option to leave right then. God, even the back of his head was infuriating.

"Daddy!" Susan said excitedly, breaking away from Mary's grasp before she could stop her.

"Susan," Mary said in an attempt to stop the little girl as she headed for her father. "George go sit with the others," she told the boy, who frowned glumly but stalked off after the Bates, clearly still upset about his football.

Matthew turned from the group at the sound of Mary's voice, a grin spreading across his face as he saw Susan running toward him.

"Hi, peanut," Matthew said, scooping Susan off the floor and into his arms. "Don't you look as pretty as a picture?"

"Daddy, this place is huge!" Susan said, looking around in awe as her arms circled around his neck, tight. "Are you really gonna be an astronaut?"

"Yes, ma'am," Matthew said, kissing the little girl's forehead as Mary approached. "Hey, baby," he said to her and Mary gave him a quick smile, although she knew her eyes were hard. He hadn't used that pet name for her in over a year, maybe longer, and it was unnerving to hear it again.

"Sorry, she got away from me," she told him, to which Matthew shrugged.

"No worries," he said, moving closer as he tried to give her a kiss. "For the others," he whispered when Mary had pulled back.

Releasing a sigh, she offered Matthew her cheek instead, which he lightly pressed his lips to.

"Not so hard, is it?" he asked in an undertone as he pulled away, flashing her another smile.

"Captain Crawley, we're about to let the press in," a man said, appearing nearby, as he'd already ushered the other men to their seats. "Mrs. Crawley, if you could go sit with the other ladies."

"Of course," Mary said, attempting to be the epitome of poise. "Knock 'em dead, honey bear."

Matthew winked at her, at ease while Mary felt herself come even more unraveled. He passed Susan over to Mary, giving the little girl's cheek a gentle squeeze before turning to take his spot at the table. Susan kept her eyes on her father as they approached the other wives, George already seated by Anna Bates. Mary sighted Rose Aldridge, who gave her a smile that Mary tried to return.

"Hi again," Anna said, giving her a grin. "Captain Crawley is certainly spirited. I thought John was exaggerating."

"He is that," Mary agreed, turning her attention to the main doors as they opened and a herd of reporters entered, rivaling the one that had met them at the airport the day before. Cameras began going off immediately, some focused on the men, while the majority of them were fixed on the ladies. NASA officials attempted to stop them, but after a few moments it was all a loss until the film crew began rolling.

"Why is the world so interested in us, anyway?" Mary asked, stroking Susan's back as she sat on Mary's lap.

One of the women seated behind her leaned forward, dark haired and blue-eyed.

"Because we're the wives of our country's first astronauts," she said. "The more they know about us, the more they know about them."

Mary was so tired of the photographers. She could hardly see anymore from all the camera flashes, her head was aching from it. And their incessant questions for the men that had eaten up most of the afternoon. Not that the cameras had stopped during their lunch. She wasn't sure how many good photos they could get of thirty people stuffing their faces with food, but they tried all the same.

Now, with the evening in full swing for the cocktail party, she approached the bar, leaning against the wood.

"Gin and tonic," she requested as she looked around the room.

Four of the wives stood together, talking as they too observed the scene. Their husbands had been whisked away upon arrival to the party, for some secret discussion the women weren't yet privy to. Mary hated how much she was dying to know about the program, that she'd practically eaten every word up at the press conference. Men going into space? It was almost too good to be true, and so much more real than the newspapers made it feel. But she knew she would never get to go as long as NASA insisted that astronauts be military test pilots and as long as the military refused to accept women applicants.

Her four failed attempts proved that.

"Mrs. Crawley, I love your dress."

It was Lavinia Napier, a sweet-faced blonde with a passion for brightly colored clothing. It was obvious that Lavinia was happily married to her husband, Lieutenant Evelyn Napier, for they never stopped smiling when they were around one another. Mary wondered how obvious her own unhappy marriage was to the other couples.

Judging by some of the glances she'd been getting, it was fairly obvious.

"Thank you," Mary said, surprised her pale gold dress was getting any attention. "And please, call me Mary."

"Oh, sure thing, as long as you call me Lavinia," she replied cheerfully, ordering a drink for herself. "God, isn't this whole thing just a blast? Pun intended." She laughed. "I could get used to such a life."

Mary smiled, doubting her response would be a sincere agreement. She couldn't wait to be out of there.

"Where did you live before this?" she asked instead.

"Oh, all over," Lavinia said, gesturing before picking up her drink. "After completing his training as a Navy test pilot in Maryland, we moved to Monterey, that's in California. I guess I'll head back there with the kids once they send us away." Lavinia sighed wistfully and Mary saw that she really didn't want to go. "What about you?"

Mary took a sip of her drink, trying not to down the whole glass in one gulp.

"In Ohio," Mary said, hoping Lavinia's knowledge of Matthew's career was less perfect than Anna's had seemed to be. "In Dayton."

"I thought Captain Crawley completed his test pilot training at Edwards Air Field in California?" Lavinia asked. "Rose was just tellin' me about it."

Mary's neck felt uncomfortably warm. Dammit.

"He did," she said, hoping she looked at ease, but feeling unequal to the task. "My parents live near Dayton, so it was easier for us to be near them when he was studying at the Air Force Institute of Technology for a few years. When Matthew became a test pilot at Edwards, well, he visited so often it hardly felt like he was gone."

Lavinia smiled. "Your husband must have some sort of superhuman ability to recover from such frequent flying," she said, and Mary didn't think the woman had detected any lies. "Evelyn was telling me that he'd logged over 7,000 hours of flight time and 4,000 of them in a jet while at Edwards. I heard he was NASA's first choice in the selection."

"He's pretty amazing like that," Mary said, her stomach sinking again as Matthew and the other men entered the party at last. His eyes found hers immediately and he smiled. Mary groaned internally. "Although I did teach him how to fly."

"My, my, you did?" Lavinia asked, in awe. "That's so fantastic."

"What is?" Evelyn asked, reaching them as Matthew followed close behind.

"Evelyn," Lavinia said excitedly, hooking her arm into her husband's. "Mary here taught Captain Crawley how to fly. Isn't that just marvelous?"

"The best teacher I ever had," Matthew interjected before anyone else could respond, wrapping his arm around Mary's waist. She pressed her lips together in a smile, wishing it was later, that they could be back at the hotel and pretend this whole night hadn't happened.

"You're such a doll," Mary said, her voice sickeningly sweet as her stomach churned. "I only wish it was me going up there," she forced herself to sound teasing, releasing a giggle that would normally irritate her in others, but at least she'd said something truthful for once.

"I'll ask them if they'll put in a little sidecar in the rocket for you, huh, baby?" Matthew asked, the words clearly out of his mouth before he'd thought about them. She knew he hadn't, for he looked worried as soon as he'd spoken. And Mary fought the urge to smack him upside the head.

Instead, she clenched her teeth in a tight smile.

"I'd rather fly it myself," she retorted, unable to keep the edge out of her tone. "Excuse me, please," Mary requested of Evelyn and Lavinia, who both looked a little bemused by the exchange.

Mary felt Matthew follow after her, his hand resting lightly on her waist.

"I was out of line," he whispered in her ear.

"Brilliant deduction, Sherlock," Mary shot back, finishing off her drink in one gulp. "You going to say that to Susan if she wants to get her test pilot's license one day?"

"You act like it's my fault the military won't accept women to the program," Matthew replied. Mary tried not to roll her eyes. "Let's dance, huh? This is a great song," Matthew said, changing the subject as Mary set her glass on a nearby table. "Plus, we'll throw 'em all off the scent."

She considered for a moment, but gave in. She hated how right he was.

With a forced smile, she grabbed his hand, leading the way over to the dance floor. After pulling her close, Matthew's hand settled low on her waist, but she pretended to enjoy it as they swung in-time to the music.

"I don't think I've seen you in a dress since we were married," he commented, dipping her backward.

"It's a little hard to fly with a skirt up around your head. Plus it's easier to chase after the kids," she replied as he righted her, his hand slipping even lower on her hip. "Hey, that's not part of the deal."

Matthew chuckled, his hand on her waist again as he leaned in close.

"So I know something you don't," he whispered, lips tickling her ear. Mary pulled away, lifting an eyebrow as she gave him a smile.

"And what's that?" she asked, anxious to know what it could possibly be.

"It's going to require you sticking around for longer," Matthew informed her.

Mary couldn't help but frown at this.

"You're serious?" she questioned.

"You said you'd do whatever we had to do for this to happen," Matthew reminded her, his own merriment gone.

"Just tell me what it is," she demanded, but still trying to smile like nothing was wrong.

"They want the families to move to Hampton," he said finally.

"Move? To Virginia?" she asked, dumbfounded. "Are they mad?"

"Hey, you said-"

"We're done talking now," Mary said, cutting him off.

Matthew fell silent, only dancing now as his hand moved lower again.

"Matthew-" she protested.

"Are you wearing panty hose?" he questioned and she pulled away from him, giving his shoulder a gentle push so he'd release her.

"Love ya, honey bear," she said, aware of people nearby who had seen the exchange.

Matthew lifted his eyebrows, clearly getting the hint, but he winked at her before strutting off to talk to some of the other men.

A few of the other wives stood nearby, Anna and Rose, so Mary approached them.

"I can barely stay away from that man," she said, as cheery as she could muster. "What a day, huh?"

"It's certainly been something I never expected," Rose said with an unaffected smile, but she kept her eyes on Mary, who felt the meaning behind her words.

While Matthew and Atticus had trained at Edwards, Mary had often confided in Rose when things turned rocky with her husband. Of all the ladies, Rose was surely the most surprised that Mary was there with Matthew. And she knew what they had to lose.

"And I hear there's more to come," Mary said, uneasy.

Rose put her hand on Mary's shoulder.

"That's why we have each other," she said, with a compassionate smile. Mary hoped she meant it.

Finally the night was over. Mary exhaled and Matthew turned to look at her as the cab drove through the city to the hotel.

"Are you still sore at me for earlier?" he questioned in the darkness.

"To what are you referring?" she murmured, staring blankly out the window. "There were so many moments to chose from."

"I'm sorry. I'm an ass," he said as the pulled up to the front entrance. Matthew tipped the driver as they got out of the car and Mary headed for the entrance.

"Tell me something I don't know," Mary replied, when he'd caught up to her.

He didn't speak right away, the tension thick between them.

"You didn't let me finish earlier. NASA wants the families to move to Hampton as part of the LIFE contract," he explained and Mary frowned, stopping in her tracks before they'd reached the hotel's lobby.

"What contract?" she asked.

Matthew sighed.

"LIFE is offering us, all of us, a $500,000 contract. Split seven ways."

Mary's jaw fell open.

"$500,000 dollars? Split seven ways, that's...that's-" her voice drifted off.

"A hell of a lot of money. And a $100,000 life insurance policy," he finished heavily, leading her over to one of the sofas secluded from the main entrance. They both sat down and Mary was grateful, as it felt like her legs would give out.

"That, with my paycheck from NASA, Mary, you'd never have to go back to that mind-numbing clerk job. You'd never need to work again."

She was in disbelief. Unable to comprehend such a vast sum, she aimed some irrational annoyance at her husband.

"What the hell would I do all day? Knit socks for you and the kids?" she scoffed.

"Christ, I don't know," he said. "Be a fight instructor? There's an airfield not far from here."

"So I can teach more punks like you who have a shot of becoming a test pilot while I'm stuck in the same place for the rest of my life?" she retorted.

"It always has to come back to that, doesn't it?" Matthew groaned, running a hand through his hair.

"It'll stop when the military gives women a chance. You know that I was just as qualified as you were to train, just as good of a flyer as you," she said quickly.

"Better," Matthew corrected, meeting her eyes again. "I can't change the policy, Mary. No matter how much I disagree with it."

"So you're finally saying that you do agree? With me?"

He broke into a smile and Mary pressed her lips together to hold back her own. Matthew laughed and her stomach fluttered stupidly at the sound. What is wrong with me?

"God, of course I do," he said after a moment. "You're one of the best pilots I know. You deserved to get into a program every bit as much as I did. Plus, you're a hell of a lot prettier than any of the other guys that were in my class. Including Atticus," he joked.

Mary swallowed, her pulse pounding unevenly in her ears as his compliments. One meaning much more to her than the other.

"You've never said that to me before," she said, dropping his gaze.

Mary didn't elaborate for a long time and Matthew maintained the silence as they sat off to the side of the lobby, although she could feel his gaze on her. How she wished she knew what he was thinking, maybe their marriage would have been easier, or at least more honest. But she had a hard enough time being honest with herself, as this entire conversation was proving again and again as she pushed her feelings aside.

"When you were accepted to Edwards," she began, careful as she spoke, for she heard the others slowly returning to the hotel. She was glad they couldn't see them. "All you did was pat yourself on the back, beg for congratulations every chance you got. You just mooned over yourself night and day until I could barely take it."

She looked up again and shook her head, Matthew's smile replaced by a more sober expression of remorse. And perhaps a little shame.

"How do you think that made me feel?" she asked, looking away again to focus on a nearby painting, although she didn't really see it.

He didn't respond and Mary released a sigh. Of course he had no idea how she felt, no bloody clue when he'd always gotten everything he'd ever wanted in life.

"I know you think I haven't experienced disappointment, Mary," Matthew said after a long time, his voice softer now. "That I've had everything handed to me, but that's not true. In '46, when I was discharged from the Marines, I didn't have a damn clue what I was going to do. I thought I would spent the rest of my life as a Marine, but they cut me loose. Hell, even going to Hawaii seemed like a nightmare to me at first. Dad was always so stern with me, I'd thought the Marines had been a bunch of softies by comparison. Going to college was just another way to escape him, but I didn't care much about my studies at first. Not until I met you."

Mary released a ragged breath as he spoke, tilting her head to watch him from the corner of her eye, but he wasn't looking at her anymore. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling, although she could tell he was lost in thought.

"God, it was like all the lights came on at once. There you were in intro to engineering, absolutely stunning and ignoring every guy in there except me because I wouldn't let you. And you wouldn't take any shit from me."

Here, he met Mary's gaze, his eyes tender. Mary's eyes stung in response.

"Still won't," she reminded him and Matthew slid closer to her on the sofa.

"You're the one who convinced me to get my pilot's license, who was the first one to take me up in a plane."

Mary laughed. "After the first day, the flight director asked me my impressions of you, son of a famed Great War vet, and all I could say was, 'He's very full of himself'."

Matthew laughed and took her hand.

"You're not wrong," he said, his fingers brushing against her skin. "I owe all of that to you, Mary. Surely you know that."

Mary stared at their fingers for a few moments, doing nothing to encourage or stop his caresses, baffled by it.

"Matthew, what are you doing?" she asked, lifting her head to look at him.

"Mary, I don't want to fight anymore," he said, eyes earnest. "If we're going to do this, why don't we do it for real? George and Susan can finally have their father back. And we'll have each other again."

Mary freed her hand from his grip, hating herself for pulling away, her heart aching at his offer. But her own wounds still hurt too much.

"You can't just erase the past three years, Matthew," she said, getting to her feet, emotions flooding through her like she was submerged in them, drowning. "What about what happened in California? My parents were watching the kids, Susan was only two years old, and I came to visit you at Edwards." Matthew rolled his eyes, infuriating her again. "I come out to the damn Air Force base, travel over two thousand miles, and find out there was another woman in your room the night before! And I had to hear it from the office secretary, no less."

"How many times do I have to tell you that it wasn't what you think?" he asked, exasperated.

"What was it? Book club?" she scorned.

"I didn't cheat on you," he insisted. "God, when are you going to believe me?"

She ignored his question, pushing away thoughts of what it really was then. If he still wouldn't tell her, did she even want to know?

"And who the hell knows what you've been doing this past year. I'm sure there's no shortage of women who want to get in the bed of a pilot...now astronaut. Don't the women just swoon for a man in uniform?"

"Some don't," was his only response, his eyes fixed on her.

Mary blinked and crossed her arms.

"I've seen too many strut around the airfield for it to have any affect on me anymore."

"Jesus," Matthew groaned, "how in the hell are we going to keep this up, Mary? It's been two days and there's barely been a moment when we're not at each others' throats." He ran a hand through his hair again, aggravated. "I'm going to be grounded before NASA even finalizes the plans for the first launch. Aren't you even going to try?"

"I do try," she shot back, making an effort to keep her voice low, but she was so exhausted from the day it was a feat to not shout. Somehow, she succeeded. "I've been performing like a trained monkey for the past twelve hours, all for who? Me?"

"I know how much you hate doing anything for me," he retorted, dropping his voice to a whisper.

"I came out here for you," she said, her anger replaced with pain and disappointment. "For your dream. Because that's all that ever matters."

Matthew frowned, his eyes reflecting the misery Mary felt. She wanted to let go of her anger, but she was afraid. Afraid of hurting more, of her barely held together heart breaking into a million pieces. Of ruining everything again.

"God, we're a pair," he muttered and Mary silently agreed. "How are we going to make it through our interview tomorrow?"

"Just try not to be an ass," she offered, her words causing Matthew to crack a smile.

The sight of it made her heart feel lighter, her emotions such a rollercoaster since she'd arrived in Virginia, she hardly knew what to think or say anymore. But, God, she'd missed that stupid smile.

"There's that wit," he commented, the lightness returning to his voice. "Reminds me why I married you."

Mary sighed, the end of it punctured by a defeated laugh.

How are we going to do this?

Thanks for reading! Please follow, favorite, or review.