As always, my thanks to chelsie fan.
True to form, Mr. Carson woke before dawn on the day of his wedding, having spent the night in broken sleep, thinking of Mrs. Hughes. Eventually he resigned himself to lying awake, watching the rising sun slowly light his bedroom. His bedroom. And just on the other side of the wall, what would be her bedroom. Not unlike Downton, where they had shared the wall that divided the men and women's corridor. And yet…so unlike Downton, for this cottage was to be their own. Their own rooms. Their own lives. No sharp raps on doors would wake them at ungodly hours to begin their days. No bells would summon them from room to room. No more stairs to traipse up and down, endlessly ferrying trays or towels or telegrams. No more late nights poring over their ledgers or making endless lists of what must be done.
Mr. Carson wondered what regular people did all day without such things. Whenever he got more than a half-day of in Yorkshire he almost never knew what to do with himself.
But he would have a wife before the day was out, and she would need him. And it wouldn't all change, surely? He would still go to church with her, and now they might walk together all the time, not only on the odd occasion. And they would still take their meals together, and now they might debate all the topics usually deemed unsuitable for the servant's hall table. And perhaps they would speak, if she wished, of all things he had been too afraid to ask her when they were still in service together. And perhaps one day she would find herself loving him, as hopelessly and intensely, as he loved her.
The church bells had never rung for her before. Elsie Hughes had never truly believed they would ever ring for her. She had seriously considered Joe Burns, twice even, but known in her heart both times that what he offered was not the life for her. She had long ago accepted a fate of spinsterhood without discontent or unhappiness.
But that morning, as she clutched Beryl's arm, hearing them beckoning her to the sanctuary made her heart swell with a profound joy. When she was a very little girl her mother had cuddled her close and explained how the bells before a wedding would ward off any evil spirits and bring good wishes. And while it had been a long time since Mrs. Hughes had put any stock in evil spirits, she certainly did have a wish, and she wished it then. She wished she were about to do the right thing. With every step that brought her closer to him she wished. She wished that he would not regret marrying her. She wished their life together would prove to be enough for him. She wished for some kind of divine surety, that this was the path they were supposed to be walking.
Snowflakes started to fall, and Mrs. Hughes tipped her head heavenward. Mrs. Patmore just clicked her tongue and mumbled something about the weather.
The church was chilly, as it always was this time of year, but the idea that he was there, that he was waiting for her, warmed her immensely. Knowing this, she couldn't keep from smiling, and perhaps just now it didn't matter. She was permitted to be happy about marrying him, and didn't care if she looked the fool by beaming at the prospect.
The bride herself was the only person in church who did not have the pleasure of seeing Mr. Carson's look of open adoration. To everyone else it was clear as day. With every step she took closer, her beauty was even clearer to him in a way he'd never let it be before. But he could now. She was going to be his wife, and a man might look at his wife like that without embarrassment or shame.
There was a tiny step up that lead to the altar, and Mrs. Hughes held tightly to Mrs. Patmore with her left hand, as she knew to do. She was sure Mr. Carson was standing beside her. She didn't need to see him to be assured of his presence; she simply felt it, perhaps more keenly than she ever had before. She longed to reach out and touch him, but dared not, knowing that she would have to wait until Mr. Travis joined their hands.
Mr. Travis cleared his throat, subtly but enough to drag Mrs. Hughes into the present and the service was properly begun.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the face of his company to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony; which is an honourable estate instituted of God in the time of man's innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church: which holy estate Christ and beautified with his presence and the first miracle he wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is commended of Saint Paul to be honourable among all men: and therefore not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly and in the fear of God. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined."
Years of listening to Mr. Travis drone on uninspiringly on lessons and virtues from the pulpit had not deadened either Mr. Carson or Mrs. Hughes to the importance of the words that he said now. The immense weight of the promise they were about to make could not be denied. Mr. Carson found him eager to make his, to tell her of his commitment to her. Previously, she had not let him declare himself. Here she would have no choice but to listen and accept his words of love and devotion.
Mr. Travis carried on. "If any man can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him speak now, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace."
The beat of silence was short, for no protest from their little crowd of witnesses - Anna, Lady Mary, and Mrs. Patmore - was imaginable. Perhaps all three of them were even more sure of the mutual love they were witnessing than the couple themselves.
Mr. Travis turned the question to Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes. "I require and charge you both, as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in matrimony, ye do confess it. For be ye well assured, that if any persons are joined together otherwise than God's Word doth allow, their marriage is not lawful."
There was no doubt that their marriage was lawful, and Mrs. Hughes knew in her heart that she loved him without question. So much that she'd left him thinking that she didn't, in order to protect him, and so much that she'd come back the moment he'd called for her, unable to truly accept her life without him. Her vows would tell him, surely, that all that was true.
Mr. Travis turned to Mr. Carson first, asking: "Wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?"
All of those things, Elsie, he thought to himself. All of those things if you'll let me.
His deep rumbling voice filled the hall in answer. "I will."
And so Mr. Travis turned to Mrs. Hughes and posed to her a very similar question. Mrs. Hughes' voice, normally so clear and confident, almost whispered her reply as if it were more of a private prayer. "I will."
Mr. Travis seemed satisfied with her quiet answer. "Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?"
This question was rhetorical, for which Mrs. Patmore was thankful. While she was not openly weeping just yet, it was probably only a matter of time, and she was pleased she didn't have to say anything in response. She simply gave Mrs. Hughes hands over to Mr. Travis and took a step back. The Reverend carefully brought their right hands together, and Mrs. Hughes smiled to feel Mr. Carson's large steady hand enveloping hers. Mr. Travis read the vows quietly and Mr. Carson repeated them in that low, authoritative and yet tender voice that she loved so much. "I, Charles Edward Carson, take thee, Elsie Jane Hughes, to my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth."
He had always loved her, and now, as far as he was concerned, he finally had the proper means to show her precisely how much. There was no greater promise a man could make to a woman, and he hoped she was closer to understanding, closer to accepting, his love for her now. They loosed their hands and then it was Mrs. Hughes's turn. She offered him her right one upturned and he graciously placed his in hers for her. " I, Elsie Jane Hughes, take thee, Charles Edward Carson, to my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, to cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth."
The ring had been returned to Mr. Carson the night before, leaving Mrs. Hughes wearing it as an engagement ring only a few short hours. Now, as he slipped it on her finger, it was no longer a promise of marriage, but instead a sealing of it.
"With this ring, I thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
Mr. Travis placed a gentle hand both their shoulders and they took their cue to kneel. "And now let us pray…"
The words of familiar prayers and of the conventional blessings passed in a blur from them both, and before they knew it Mr. Travis had mercifully joined their hands together again.
"Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder."
No man, and no hardship, thought Mr. Carson firmly to himself. She was his wife now, and nothing would be permitted to tear them apart.
It was almost over, and Mr. Carson squeezed her hand gently as Mr. Travis read out the final prayer. "For as much as Charles and Elsie have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth, each to the other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving a ring, and by joining hands; I pronounce that they are Man and Wife, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
She smiled at him, and to her surprise felt his warm hand on her cheek, tipping her head gently up towards him. Surely he didn't mean to…but then ever so softly his lips brushed against hers. It was a tender, fleeting kiss, and just as quickly as it started, it was over. It was strange how something could feel so wonderful and yet be disappointing at the same time.
She felt his hand at the small of her back, gentle pressure from his thumb and fingers, subtly guiding her as they turned towards the congregation, so that she ended up facing the in right direction. And as they took their first steps together back down the aisle, Elsie felt a great surety that just as she had always guided him, so, too, would he always lead her in the right direction.
TBC...