:kicks ffnet:
If you notice, ffnet repeats every first sentence above. and I cant delete it. Little bitch. SO ANYWAY I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE FOR CENTURIES! :excited:I was struck with inspiration for it.
But seriously people. Please please PLEASE no more girl suggestions! Trust me. There will be a point in the list that every damn person is a girl. It'll happen. XD And its such fun seeing new reviewers! :waves:
And there are TWO Akanes reading this story. Confusing? Yes. Akane A, those movieshilarious. The Zexion singing the girlfriend song made my century and spurred me to watch the stupid files again. And WOW Jextia, I DO end everything with smex. XD its amazing.
So I am so excited for this. BE READY MY LOVES! I want a High Score on this. XD
What If…
Vexen and Marluxia combined their talents to create a potion
that causes the drinker to switch genders,
and decide to test it on Axel?
((as suggested by the darling OnlyinthisLight and later by the equally darling Kigichi))
Marluxia sighed loudly as he strolled into his bedroom. I'm so bored, he thought dully as he walked to his dresser, there is nothing to do around here anymore…
He glanced at his picture of Vexen by his mirror and grinned. Of course, there's always someone to do around here, but… he trailed off, noticing a bright pink spray bottle next to it.
Marluxia grinned evilly. Perhaps I should pay our dear Chilly Academic a visit…
--((dun dun DUN!))--
Marluxia leered at Vexen as he leaned against the wall by the stairs, keeping silent as he watched the scientist pore over his labs.
"Find something interesting, Number XI?" Vexen asked without looking up.
Marluxia grinned. "Oh, you're calling yourself a thing now Vexen? How intriguing…" Marluxia invited himself to sit in Vexen's desk chair.
Vexen pinked slightly. "What do you want, Marluxia?"
"Nothing at the moment," Marluxia said innocently. "I would just like your word that you won't interfere with my latest business venture."
"Business venture?" Vexen snorted. "So that's what you're calling it these days?"
Marluxia winked. "I could call it whatever you want…So do you promise?"
"Fine," Vexen said, waving him away, "As long as I don't have to do anything."
"Perfect."
--((oh dear))--
Marluxia grinned to himself as he spotted Axel and Roxas walking down the hallway he had stationed himself in. Target sighted, he thought to himself as he began walking down the hallway in the other direction.
"Boys," he greeted casually as they met in the hallway.
Axel stopped in his tracks, turning. "Boy?!" he said incredulously. "I am no boy!"
Marluxia smirked as Roxas tried to calm Axel down, but to no avail. This is too easy. he thought, reentering the conversation.
"Let's just go-"
"No! He's perpetually a cocky bastard and he finally needs to be taught a lesson!"
"How about if I teach you one?" Marluxia replied. As Axel looked up in anger, a pulled out the bright pink spray bottle and sprayed him full in the face.
"No!" Roxas cried out as he realized what Marluxia did, reaching to slow Axel's descent onto the cold hallway tile.
Marluxia grinned and disappeared into a portal as Roxas yelled after him.
--((the fun is just beginning my friends))--
Axel slowly opened his eyes as he came to in his bedroom. "What…?" he said aloud, his mind slowly replaying what happened.
"Axel," Roxas said calmly from his place next to Axel on the bed, "The important thing right now is not to panic."
"Panic?" Axel repeated, his mind clearing. "Why would I have reason to pa-" he paused as he shifted, his eyes widening.
"Penis?" he said quietly, sitting up and running his hands up and down himself. "Roxas….where the fuck is my penis?!" He blindly reached out for Roxas' hand, gripping it tightly.
"What happened?"
"You're a girl." Roxas stated, pausing to let Axel take it in. "Marluxia sprayed that stupid shit on you to make you female. I had to drag your ass all the way down the hall to your room."
Axel breathed deeply, trying to calm himself down. "Do I look different?"
Roxas tried not to snort aloud. Hell if he doesn't look damn sexy… he thought as he gave Axel a once over. Granted, he wasn't as curvy as Roxas was when he was female, but his layered shoulder length spikes and naturally lined eyes definitely made up for it. "Let me put it this way," Roxas said slowly, "I could see what a pain it was for you to keep your hands off me when I was a girl."
Axel grinned. "I'm that sexy!" He said, leaping out of his bed and bowling Roxas over. "I've got to change into something!" Axel said, stripping down to his boxers.
"Woah," Roxas said, staring at a topless female!Axel from his spot on the bed.
"What?" Axel said, turning to the mirror. "Oh…So I look good?" Axel said, grinning.
Roxas paused. "Damn good," he replied.
Axel frowned at him. "You hesitated! You think I'm ugly don't you!" he concluded, sitting on the ground Indian-style, near tears.
Roxas blinked. "The hell?" he said, standing up and sitting down next to Axel. "I paused because I was speechless, you dumbass."
"Don't call me a dumbass!" Axel wailed.
"Sorry!" Roxas flinched as he soothingly ran his hand up and down Axel's back to calm him down. "What's gotten into you?"
"I don't know…" Axel trailed off. "I just feel a little moody…Hey! Roxy…"
"What…" Roxas said warily.
"While I change would you mind going to the kitchen and getting me some chocolate?"
Roxas nodded wordlessly as he was pushed out the door towards the kitchen. What is he pregnant or something? He couldn't be, we haven't even had sex today…
As Roxas neared the refrigerator, an ear-piercing scream was heard from the vicinity of Axel's bathroom. The chocolate was forgotten as Roxas quickly summoned a portal to Axel's room.
--((Here's where it gets good my friends))--
Roxas arrived in Axel's room to find Axel curled in the fetal position on his floor near the bathroom.
"Such…pain…." he muttered.
"What's wrong?" Roxas asked, concerned. Axel wordlessly pointed to the bathroom, stunned.
"I'm…bleeding out my….my…"
Suddenly Roxas understood. Oh shit. "I'll go get Larxene," he said, summoning a portal.
--((poor poor Axel))--
"Why in hell would I give you of all people some of my maxi pads?!" Larxene said irritably, interrupted from her video gaming session.
"Because…I need them." Roxas said lamely.
"Psh, some reason," Larxene said, unpausing her game, "you're probably making a piñata or something…"
"It's important!" Roxas said forcefully, causing Larxene to pause her game and raise an eyebrow.
"Yes?"
"Well…Axel got turned into a girl and he…he…"
Larxene burst out into laughter. "Say no more!" she said, standing up and going to her dresser. "I will give you this pack of pads if you do my laundry for a month."
Roxas winced. "Deal," he said, and summoned a portal back to Axel's room.
--((wooo))--
"You owe me," Roxas said as he returned to find Axel in the same position he left him in. "Look," he said sympathetically, "we'll figure this out. First, you need to put one of these on…"
"On where?" Axel muttered.
Roxas thought for a long while. "…I'll be right back," he said, summoning another portal.
--((XD))--
"And what makes you think I have a pair of Larxene's panties lying around?" Marluxia said, smirking.
"Look, this is your fault," Roxas said, blushing, "just give me a pair, okay?"
"What do I get out of it?"
"You get to keep your balls, just give me the fucking panties!"
"But what if I tell Axel you came looking for them?" he said, feigning shock, "What will he think?"
Roxas glared. "Laundry for a month."
"Deal," Marluxia said, handing over a pair of bright purple panties.
--((XD))--
"You really owe me," Roxas said upon his return, throwing the panties at Axel. When Axel raised an eyebrow, Roxas shook his head. "Do. Not. Ask. Just put them on, and put that…thing on it."
"How?"
"There has to be directions on the bag….doesn't it just stick?"
"How the hell should I know?"
"Let's figure this out…"
--((20 minutes later))--
"This is so uncomfortable," Axel grumbled as he changed into his pajamas. "I'm going to have a wedgie for a week…"
Roxas hesitated as Axel crawled into his bed. "Are you…okay?"
"My abdomen feels like someone is making origami out of it," he said, gritting his teeth. Roxas looked scandalized.
"How?"
"I don't know it just does!" he snapped. Roxas stepped back and put his hands out in a placating gesture. "Sorry," Axel apologized, opening his arms out to Roxas and waiting for him to join him in bed. "I don't know how women function like this…."
"Don't let Larxene hear you say that, she'll start demanded her 'Time of the Month' off from work!"
"I need off, that's for damn sure…I don't think I'm going to be moving anytime soon. Want to keep me company?" Axel murmured, pulling Roxas closer.
"I don't see why not," Roxas replied, "Seeing as you can't rape me in my sleep…"
"Hey! I take offense to that. Besides, it's not considered rape if both parties are willing."
"True," Roxas said, "How about you get some sleep so you'll feel better?"
"Good idea. You won't leave me?"
"I might," Roxas said, "but I'll be back before you wake up.
"…Alright," Axel said, already halfway off to dreamland.
--((totally almost forgot this crucial part of the story))--
Roxas summoned a portal directly into Vexen's lab, Keyblade at the ready. He charged straight up to Vexen, aiming his Keyblade at the Academic's throat.
"You have three seconds to give me the green spray bottle with the antidote for the gender switch. Go."
"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas…" Vexen said, shaking his head. "I promised I wouldn't get involved…"
"I don't give a fuck. Hand it over."
"I don't have it."
"Who does?"
Vexen raised an eyebrow. "Who do you think?"
Roxas swore and summoned a portal.
--((everyone guess now!))--
Roxas sighed loudly as he entered Marluxia's room. "What do you want for it Marluxia?"
"Now Roxas, I wasn't aware I was selling sexual favors today…"
Roxas glared. "For the antidote, bastard."
"Oh, that…I won't give it to you," Marluxia said, grinning.
Roxas growled. "Laundry for two extra months."
"Deal," Marluxia said, handing over the spray bottle.
--((hee!))--
Roxas returned to Axel's room to find the Nobody still fast asleep. Thank god…He took out the green spray bottle and sprayed it straight in Axel's face.
Hopefully he'll wake up back to normal now, Roxas thought before crawling into bed with Axel and falling asleep.
--((wo0t))--
Roxas awoke to cheering and loud noises.
"Roxas! I'M A MAN AGAIN!!" Axel cried, hefting up Roxas and spinning him around the room. "You fixed me didn't you?!"
"I did," Roxas said as he was set down on the ground before he was kissed fiercely.
"Oh man, Rox, I owe you one. Or two. Or a million. How about I just start by giving you the best sex you've ever had?" he said, stepping closer to Roxas and grinning devilishly.
Roxas smiled dryly. "How about you start by helping me do Marluxia and Larxene's laundry this month?"
--((END!))--
Sorry there wasn't a lot of make out age in that one. It didn't come out as amazing as I thought it would. Huh. Go figure.
It is definitely 3 in the AM. Go me. XD
Last one: The Closet
"I've got something else to eat," he said, winking, as a scandalized Demyx began to choke on his own food.
freaky-hanyou