This chapter is not the longest, but there are some (what I think are) exciting chapters coming soon!

Chapter 4: My First Broken Heart

"Go on, I know you like him. I'll work with Freddie to set you up." Carly's words echoed in my head, they'd been haunting me all night. How could I have been so wrong? It's not my fault; he's just a jerk. No matter how much I tried to remind myself this wasn't my fault, I still couldn't help but blame the situation on myself at least slightly. My hands were trembling in anger, and I felt like ripping the piece of paper in my hands in half. Something held me back. I glowered down at the sheet.

February 6, 2008: My first crush (Jonah Albert)

My eyes burned through the sheet of paper as they flicked down to the next entry.

February 8, 2008: My first broken heart (Jonah Albert)

I couldn't believe I ever liked that jerk. We were barely going out when I discovered he tried to make a move on Carly. Like the good friend she is, Carly didn't want me to find out, but, of course I did. Luckily, we got to wedgie bounce him for over two hours, streaming the whole thing on iCarly. I love getting revenge.

My heart was still pounding in shock after finding out he used me to get to Carly. I didn't mind that she got all of the boys, or that she was prettier or girlier than I was. What bothered me is the fact that I was used. Carly was a big help in comforting me, reassuring me that he was a jerk, helping me with the wedgie bounce, and just being there for me. But, no matter how helpful Carly was, I had to return to my house some time.

I was doing all that I could not to quickly move my hands and force the paper into two pieces. I was furious, but I didn't want to destroy my list. It had grown on me over time, and the more I added to it, the more excited I got. Sure, this last entry did not exactly spark happiness inside of me, but I knew that over time I would have to overcome this obstacle, so why not put it behind me as soon as possible? I forcefully grabbed the tape, tearing off a piece and reaffixing the piece of paper to the wall.

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I found myself hanging lopsidedly off of the bed, and I managed to reach my phone just in time.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sam. Are you busy today?" Hmmm… Let's think. Oh, well if I have time, I will sit around and mope about my life, and how much of a jerk Jonah is. Or, I can do something with Carly. I chose the latter.

"Nope. Nothing going on today. Nada." I tried to relax my voice so Carly wouldn't notice my inner anguish, but I think I let some of it slip.

"Why don't you come over? I don't really have anything going on today. Spencer will be out with Socko at The Sock Store, which Socko's uncle owns, so it would be just you and me." Perfect. Just Carly.

"I'll be right there. Thanks, Carls."

"No problem. See you soon."

I flung open the door to the Shay's apartment. "Is Spencer gone already?"

"Yes, he left just a minute ago."

I shut the door carefully, turning around, and running into Carly's arms. Normally, I wasn't very emotional, but both the good and the bad had come all at once, and I couldn't really handle it.

"Oh, Sam. It's going to be okay, I'm here for you." Carly whispered through my crazy locks of hair, rubbing my back gently.

That's when I lost it. I started sobbing, right there. Carly held me tighter. Why did he have to be such a jerk? Why me? I grasped my hands behind Carly's back, crying as if I had an entire rainforest to water with my tears.

When my crying let up, she pushed me back a little bit so she could see my face.

"Aw, Sam." Carly tried to move my hair out of my face, but there was too much, and it didn't want to cooperate. She enveloped me in another hug before sitting down on the couch and pulling me with her.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No. The wedgie bounce was satisfactory enough."

"But you're still hurt."

"He is a jerk."

"A complete jerk. But if you need anything, I'll be here."

"Thanks." I couldn't get out much more than that, as I was still shaking. Carly put her hands on my arms, and attempted to calm me down. It worked for the moment, and I let out a few final gulps of sadness before going quiet.

"Now, would you like some meat or something to cheer you up?" Wow, she knows me so well.

"I could, perhaps, do with a nice ham." I tried to pretend it was a hard decision, but both of us knew that ham was something I always wanted.

The door creaked behind me. I was too lazy to turn around and see who it was, but when I glanced into the kitchen, I saw Carly's eyes shooting daggers at the visitor, motioning by puling her hand across her neck that he or she should leave. Now I was curious. Why is Carly so anxious?

When I turned around, I was staring at the figure of Freddie Benson. No wonder Carly was trying to make him leave. Though I tended to pick on him and beat him up slightly, in my newly fragile state, she probably figured it was much more likely. She would normally be right, but for some strange reason, I wasn't in a beating up mood. He was saved for the time being.

"It's okay," I squeaked. Why do I sound so weak?

He cautiously made his way inside, and I could tell that Carly kept her eyes on me the whole time just in case I snapped. Freddie walked over to me, staring sadly into my eyes.

"The over two-hour wedgie bounce wasn't enough?" Though he was joking, his face still appeared completely serious.

"It was." I didn't want to tell him how much Jonah's actions had hurt me. I think he realized the truth. He even made one of the riskiest moves he ever had. Slowly, he got closer and closer to me. I was still on the couch, shaking a bit. My tears were dry now, but I could still feel my eyes heavy with the redness of crying. Freddie reached over, and placed his hand on my shoulder. If this had been under any other circumstances, I would have twisted his arm backward, but I wasn't my usual self.

"He was a jerk Sam. I understand if you're still upset."

I nodded a tiny bit in agreement before he continued.

"If you need anything, Carly and I'll be here for you." Nice cover up, Benson. Including Carly in this just to be careful. Well, thanks. I didn't actually thank him. I'd done that before and I didn't want to do that again right now. I tried to smile, but my attempt was a failed one. He caught on.

Luckily, before any more of this sappiness could continue, Carly approached us with a steaming ham. I gratefully accepted the yummy distraction.

"If you tell anyone about this, you're dead meat, Benson." I picked up my fork and dug into the ham, awaiting his response.

"Don't worry, I won't."

The rest of the day passed on, and the three of us were generally good-natured, with Carly rushing to my side any time I appeared on the verge of tears. Freddie's eyes shined with sympathy, but he smartly kept his distance. We only brought up Jonah a couple times, mostly to mention how much of a jerk he was, or how he should have been wedgie bounced longer. But, overall, we managed to not talk about him too much. That night, I fell asleep on Carly's couch.

The next morning I woke up, and found myself under a blanket. Oh Carly. Always the caring friend. I was grateful for Carly, for all of my friends. I pushed the thought of my list to the back of my mind, not wanting to picture the last entry on the page. Sleepiness took over once again, and I collapsed into a deep sleep.

IMPORTANT: I want your ideas. I have big plans for some upcoming chapters, but I need other chapters in there too. If you have any firsts you want to read about, whether they actually occur in the show or not, whether they are big or little, I want to hear your thoughts. You can recommend things like "My First Love," because I want to know what you want to read, but I also want to hear smaller ideas. Be creative, they don't have to be in the show (obviously I made some up too). Thank you!

Note: Jonah's last name was never known, so I took the actor's last name, which is Albert.

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed, and extra thanks to everyone who gave me their input on writing a chapter using a different point of view. Thanks again!