Warning- mentions of past self-harm and self-deprecation. Another human AU- design still belongs to Toddnet

You sit on the low wall outside of the school. You could feel your hands shaking and your breathing was coming in short bursts.

You could feel your hair sagging and your lipstick smudging. It was dumb, trying to make yourself look pretty for such a pathetic reason. You felt a sob rise up in your throat and felt a sad smile perk up your lips.

You weren't sure what you were expecting. You told him you weren't going to bother him anymore. Weren't going to be in his life anymore. Why did you think he would try to reach out to you after that? You were an idiot.

You were absolutely pathetic.

You felt a tear drip down your face and chuckle sadly. Wiping your face with the back of your hand, you felt your stomach heave.

"Are you alright?" A deep voice asked. You jumped and looked over, wiping your face even more frantically as you took in the guy next to you. He was short, with messy brown hair and shaved sides and soft brown eyes. He gave you a lazy grin, but it melted as he took in your eyeliner streaked face and red eyes.

"Yeah. 'm fine." You wave him off and checked your phone. You didn't want to drive home in this state, so you were going to wait as long as possible before heading out. The guy gave you a disbelieving look and sat down on the wall next to you.

"That sounds fake." He said with humor in his tone, but you could tell it was calculated humor. He was definitely the type that used humor to help other people on a daily basis.

"R-really." Damn, you couldn't keep the tremor from your voice. A light breeze blew over you, causing a shiver to run down your spine. The guy saw the shiver and shrugged off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders.

"Did you enjoy the show?" He asked, trying to start a conversation. You were at your old high school, after their spring musical. You went every year so see your friends, but this year was a bit of a disaster.

"It was good for this school." You said with a watery chuckle. Your school was notorious for bad shows. He chuckled deeply and ran a hand through his hair.

"Ain't that the truth." His grin seemed more natural. He dug through his pocket and pulled out a crumpled napkin from the local fast food place. He handed it to me with an almost shy smile. "It's clean, I swear. I always keep a few napkins in my pocket. My bro tends to make a mess whenever we go out." He said with a fond grin.

"Oh, was he in the show?" You asked, dabbing the last of your eyeliner with the napkin.

"Yeah! He was in the chorus, but he was the loudest singer." His voice was full of pride, which warmed your heart. "His name is Papyrus."

"Oh!" The name was familiar to you. "I remember Pap. He was a freshman when I was a senior."

"Same here, guess we were in the same grade and never knew it." He said. You remembered him now. His head wasn't shaved back in high school, so you didn't recognize him. Sans, you remembered his name was.

"Thanks." You say, sniffling a little. You go to give him back the jacket, but he puts a hand out to stop you.

"It doesn't look like you're in any condition to drive right now. How 'bout you and I go get some fries and talk?" He stood and stretched goofily, smiling at you. He held out a hand and you looked at it warily. You had a midnight curfew and it was already ten. His smile softened and he nodded.

You decided that at this point in the night, you'd be safer with this guy you barely knew than home alone with your thoughts. You took his hand and gave him a reluctant smile. '

"I can drop you off back here to get your car, if that's alright." Sans said with a gently voice. You just gave a tight lipped smile and nodded.

"Sounds good to me. I… I think some greasy food might settle my stomach." You say with only a little sarcasm. He looked at you, a little shocked, before grinning wide.

He walked you to his car, which was funnily enough parked a few spots from your own. Throwing your program in the front seat of your own car, you moved to sit in the passenger of Sans'. It wasn't a new car, but it was nice. A dark blue with only a small dent or two.

"So you never told me your name." He said pulling out of the parking lot. He kept his face towards the road, but you saw him glance at you from the corner of his eye. You just smirked a little and introduced yourself, and had the faint feeling that he already knew.

The McDonald's was only five minutes from the school. Pulling into the parking lot filled you with an intense sense of nostalgia. You spent many hours here with your friends, joking and making a general nuisance of yourself.

"After you." He smiled as he held the door open for you. You shot him an amused smile and walked in. There was almost no one there, just a group of teenagers and an old man on the corner. Sans walked right up to the counter. You followed behind him, smiling to yourself at how at ease he was at the restaurant. "You want something to drink?"

"Um, I'll save a small fountain drink…" You say, feeling awkward now that you're there. He just smiled and ordered two large fries, a large drink and a small. When you tried handing him some money, he just waved you away.

"I invited you here. It's only right that I pay for your fries." His voice was deep and soothing. It made the ache in your chest lessen a little.

You found a booth seat and waited for the fries to be done. Since it was late, it took five or so minutes for them to be made. Sans made a comment that they'll be fresh and chuckled. You realized he does that a lot - chuckles, smiles, grins. You got the impression that maybe he was hiding something, but you weren't going to push it.

When your order was called, you jumped at the opportunity to do something helpful. Grabbing the cups, you left the fries and asked what he wanted to drink.

"I'll have some Dr. Pepper, if you could." He teased. Taking the first fry and testing it. He jerked it away from his mouth with an adorable grimace. He fanned his tongue and dipped the fry in some ketchup. You nodded and took the cups over to the soda fountain.

You had been avoiding dark colas – trying to watch our weight some – but it was late and your heart felt shattered, so you filled your cup with cola. Making your way back to the table, you saw Sans was in his phone, tapping away at almost inhumane speed. When he heard you approach, you slipped his phone back in his pocket and smiled.

You sat and handed him the drink. The two of you sat there in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the hot, greasy, salty bandage to your shattered heart. Halfway through the second fry container, he wipe his fingers and smacked his lips.

"So, why were you crying in front of the school?" He asked nonchalantly. You froze, your hand halfway to your mouth. You placed the fry down and wiped your own fingers, feeling queasy.

"It's was dumb." You say, taking a sip from your cup. He rose one eyebrow and stared right into your eyes. You could feel your resolve cracking. "I… I'm just dumb, that's all. I got what I wanted and still wasn't happy with it… I'm pathetic aren't I?" You laugh into your straw, feeling tears stinging your eyes again.

"You're not pathetic." He said with more seriousness than you've heard from him all night. "What happened?"

"I… I wanted to make someone jealous, but I already told him I wasn't going to talk to him again. I don't know why I even bothered… he made it quite clear he was avoiding me too." You couldn't keep the bitterness from seeping into your voice. Sans' eyebrows furrowed as he listened. "I just miss what we used to have, ya know?"

"Yeah… I know what you mean." He said with a sad smile. You figured he had someone he lost as well.

"We tried dating and it didn't work out, but I didn't blame him. He became my best friend… I told him everything. Then we started drifting apart… he got a new girlfriend and couldn't spare me another second." Your eyes were blurring so badly you missed your mouth with your straw, poking yourself in the lip. One tear fell and dropped into the napkin. You felt another sob building up, but you held it down with a sniffle.

"Guys are the worst, aren't we?" Sans asked, offering you a warm smile. He was just trying to make you smile, but his words made your tears build up more. Sans instantly saw the change and widened his eyes in shock. You didn't want to make him feel bad, so you laughed as you wiped your eyes and sniffled.

"Yeah…" You said quietly.

"Hey." He said, just as quietly. He reached across and took your hand, which had started shaking a little. "Don't stress over assholes who can't be bothered to give you a second glance. To be honest he, um, really dropped the ball here. I mean, look at you. If you were trying to make him jealous he'd have to be blind to not be." He grinned at you. You could feel your cheek lighting up and you glanced away, not able to keep eye contact.

"I just… should have seen this coming." You didn't know why you kept talking to him, someone you didn't even know. The words just kept coming out. Your chest hurt more are you talked, but it also felt lighter, like when you have a really bad splinter. It's excruciating to get it out, but in the end it's for the best. "I was too much work for him."

"What do you mean, too much work?" He asked, sounding slightly angry.

"He's… he's the kind of guy that could get a girl for the night without any trouble. He doesn't want to bother with someone who actually takes time. Besides, I could never give him what he wanted without making him mad or upset at me…"

"I kind of want to ask what you mean by 'what he wanted' but I'm going to address that last part there. Why would he be mad at you?" Sans seemed genuine, but it was odd having someone care about you, especially someone who doesn't know you that well.

"I… I told him everything. When I was feeling bad and… wanted to hurt myself, I would text him and he would help me through it. Sometimes he couldn't help me, and got upset when he found out. Since he started ignoring me, I've kept doing… that. If he saw my scars he would be so disappointed in me." Another tear plopped onto the napkin. You pulled your hand from his and blew your nose in a napkin. You could feel the mucus in your throat from crying so you tried washing it down.

Sans just watched you with a sad expression, but didn't say anything until you were ready. He offered to refill your cup for you, and you accepted. You were out already. Maybe you shouldn't have gotten a small…

As Sans gets up, you heard the door open and glanced over. A huge group was filing in, all kids from the show. You recognized a few of the guys who graduated with you, and a few kids from the cast – recognizable by the almost obscene amounts of makeup and hair gel they were wearing.

One of them recognized you and came over, slapping you on the back with a friendly smile. As soon as he saw your face, however, his smile dropped.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, motioning for another person to come over. Both of these guys had been in your grade. You were friends, but you were never close. Both of them went to the same college for the performing arts.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You give them your most convincing smile. For a second, you thought they were going to push you, but just then Sans came back and slid into the booth, shooting them a look. They smiled at you and said goodbye, going to order.

Most of the crowed had ordered at that point, so they moved to find some seats. Because the group was so big, they were taking up the whole center area. Just as Sans was going to ask who they were, you heard a familiar laugh.

All the color must have drained from your face, because Sans went from curious to concerned in about half a second. He tried to get you to take a sip of your drink, but you were staring at the tray, completely frozen.

You could feel your hands start to shake and could hear your heart beat in your ears. You didn't realize your breathing was shallow until you hear Sans telling you to breath, to calm down or else you would pass out.

You managed to look him in the eyes, and the warm compassion on his face calmed you down a little bit.

"What's wrong?" He asked, not wanting to draw attention to you. You barely shook your head, feeling the room spin.

"I-it's him." You whispered, choking on the words. Sans instantly shot his head up, scanning the room.

"Which one?" He asked, sitting back and taking a sip of his soda. His eyes were trained on the tray, but you could tell he was just being sneaky.

"Green jacket, by the trashcan." You whisper, letting your hair cover your face. You saw him glance over your shoulder and saw his gaze harden.

"I know that kid." He said, eyes narrowing and his mouth forming an almost scary grimace. He had the thought to stop glaring at the boy and look at you, who was shaking and barely breathing. Making the decision himself, Sans threw the trash out and stood by your side.

"Come on, let's get outta here. I'm not digging the company anymore." He helped you up, you not really seeing anything. You thought enough to grab your cup, but that was more out of habit than you thinking about it.

As Sans walked with you out of the restaurant you watched him, trying to get him to look at you. Just get him to make eye contact… once… but he was too into his conversation with some skinny brunette. It felt as though someone took your heart and shot it through with a bullet.

Sans had to pull you away, his warm hand the only thing you could focus on.

When you finally managed to pay attention to things again, you were sitting in his car again. Your cup was still in your hands, but you weren't buckled up. San was sitting in the driver's seat messing with his phone, but he was watching you from the corner of his eye.

"You feelin better?" He asked, locking his phone and placing it on the dashboard. You blinked and realized that you did feel better. Your 'spells' usually hit fast and strong, but left just as abruptly. You sighed and took a sip of your drink.

"Yeah, actually… thanks for getting me out of there." You said, not looking him in the eye. You heard him sigh and start the car, but he didn't start driving.

"Look. I know that kid. He's complete asshole. Sleeping around, going through girls left and right. Fucking up the hearts of people who don't deserve it…" He gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white.

"I know… I really do know. He took my friend's first kiss then told her that he had plans to hook up with two other girls in the same weekend." You felt your anger bubbling up. "He ignored me and out of the blue asked me to send him nudes… told me not to talk to him anymore then said he'd… he'd fuck me!" Bitter tears flowed down your face.

You felt your rage attacking the walls you built up. All the times you cried over him, hurt yourself over him, lost sleep because of him – all that anger rushing through you.

"I hate him! He fucked me over and over and over again and I kept running back to his nonexistent ass because I thought he loved me! I thought he was good for me! I can't believe I let him worm his way into my head like this! I hate him!" Tears were pouring down your face, and you didn't even bother trying to wipe them away or hide them. You were screaming at this point, but you felt so much better because of it.

"That's good. Let it all out." Sans didn't yell, or try to stop you. He just let you rant until your heart was free from those emotions.

"I thought I had found someone who would always be there for me but I should have known it was too good to be true when he told me he loved me… I knew it was fake. I should have known I was unlovable." The silent tears turned into heartfelt sobs. You doubled over in the seat, pulling your knees up and crying into them.

"You can't really believe that, can you?" Sans asked, sounding incredulous.

"Of course!" You practically yell back. "There was no way he could ever love me because loving me is too much work for anyone to deal with. No one wants to deal with me! Of course he would ignore me… I'm pathetic… pining after someone who obviously couldn't care less about me… I made him hate me because I'm an unlovable person." You couldn't even talk anymore, you were inconsolable. Sans reached over and rubbed your back.

"First off, you're in no way unlovable. He's just an ass who can't see what's in front of him. If he said he loved you because he wanted to get in your pants, that makes him a disgusting pig. It's not your fault you feel something for him. Anyone who creates a bond with someone else will have a bond with them for a long, long time, even if they don't want to.

"The fact that his bad decisions are eating at you is the most disastrous part of this whole thing. He had someone amazing to love him and take care of him and he threw them away so he could sleep around and fuck with people. His bad choices should be things to laugh at, not cry about." Sans pulled back and handed you the drink. You gratefully took it and rinsed your mouth from the dry crying taste on your tongue.

"I'm sorry." You manage to say after a few minutes. He just hummed a little and turned the heater on. "No seriously… you shouldn't have to listen to me bitch about my ex." Your voice was completely monotone. Your intonation as dead as the way you felt inside.

"Look, I saw you outside of the school and… I couldn't just walk away. I know we never really talked in high school, and looking back I really regret that because I always admired you." Sans said, swirling the ice in his own cup. You look at him with wide, watery eyes. He saw your look and chuckled. "You always seemed so happy, so confident around your friends. It took me a while to find my group, so I always looked up to how easily you seemed to make friends." He chuckled and ran a hand through his bangs.

"That was all a lie." You say softly. He looked at you, confused. "I was never really confident. It was all pretend. I pretended to be confident."

"Then I should have looked up to you even more." He grinned at you. "Pretending to be confident is a thousand times harder than having full time confidence."

"That sounds fake." You said with a faint smile, echoing his words from earlier that night. He caught what you were doing and chuckled deeply. Just as you were about to make a joke, your phone went off. Your mom was asking when you'd be home. "Oh, I need to get home."

"Alright. Let's get you back to the school then." The two of you drove in a comfortable silence. You were all cried out, and although your chest was numb, you also felt light.

"Thanks for this Sans… for everything." You said, not sure how to say goodbye.

"It was no problem." He grinned lazily and winked, causing you to blush a little. As you started your car, you heard a knock at your window. Rolling it down, Sans handed you something. It was a McDonald's napkin with something written on it.

"Hey, text me sometime? We can get some fries again." He said, a faint red tint to his cheeks. You giggled at how flustered he got all of a sudden and sent him a message right then and there so he would have your number as well.

"Goodnight Sans." You said.

"Night." He returned your smile.

As you drove home, you reflected on the last time you drove home after an encounter with him, sobbing and almost crashing. Now, you were blushing and smiling at the road. It was amazing how one person could change your views.

You knew you wouldn't be able to forget about him anytime soon, but you hoped that maybe this new friendship with Sans would help you get over it, at least a little.

I know, another human AU… I'm planning on doing other AU's starting next chapter! I'm definitely going to do Underfell and Underswap, but I'll try to do some more if I'm comfortable enough with them.

I know this chapter sucks, but I needed to get this off my chest. At least the reader had someone to talk them down from their panic attack…

ANYWAY yeah boys suck, love doesn't exist and there's no point pretending otherwise.

Thank you for all the suggestions that have been sent in! I feel bad that I haven't been able to get through them, especially the ones I've had for a while now. My goal is still to write all the suggestions, but I don't know how reasonable of a goal that is at this point. We're thirty something chapters in, and I have another thirty something suggestions I haven't even touched yet…

Anyway, thank you for reading!

Until next chapter

~Starlight