So I'm a terrible person. Clearly completely useless at updating these things regularly. Or at all. Even when people send warm fuzzy encouraging messages asking me to. The reasons for this delay are 1) not being totally happy with this chapter, 2) being incredibly lazy, and 3) real life.
I'm still not totally happy with this chapter and you might not be either because while there are a whoooooole lot of hints about all sorts of things in here, it doesn't really get into any of the answers yet. And since I'm even less impressed with what I've so far got for the next chapter than I was with this one it's likely to be a while before you get those answers. But, something is better than nothing, right? If you disagree, you should probably quit now.
Kyle stared up at the familiar ceiling of his childhood bedroom.
His eyes drifted over dents and stains that marked out his life here, scars in the surface of the room. The slight indent from where Jacob Stein had bet he couldn't jump high enough to touch the ceiling with his head. The splatter of red food colouring that had been there since his sixth grade science fair project erupted somewhat earlier than intended.
And over there, completely undetectable, a stain that no one would ever find trace of. That was where Alex had died.
It had been weeks since they'd learned that aliens would be coming. Days ago they'd passed the record for the furthest ahead that Liz had ever seen.
The waiting was driving him crazy.
It was driving them all a little crazy; he could tell. Everyone was stressed and anxious. And their stress and anxiety compounded on him. Whole paragraphs from his psych textbooks were playing through his head, words like hypervigilance jumping into his mind as he watched his friends fret and plan and fall a tiny bit apart.
People aren't meant to be stressed like this long term.
They all said out loud that this was good, the more time they had to prepare the better. And boy, had they prepared. Some of the things Liz and his dad and the others had come up with had seemed absurdly extreme and dangerously paranoid when he'd first heard them and he'd caught himself rolling his eyes incredulously at some of the suggestions.
Except Alex had died just over there. So the more he thought about it, the more he felt like none of it would be enough.
Kyle took a shuddering breath and fought the urge to push back those fears. Anxiety was allowed. Here, alone in the dark and the quiet, without anyone else's emotions clattering through his mind, his own anxiety was allowed. It was necessary. Because no matter how often they each voiced their gratitude for this extra time, none of them felt it. The strain of anticipation, of not knowing, of having to be prepared for every possibility at every moment, was getting to all of them.
And Kyle got a piece of all of it.
But that was what he did, what he was training himself to do in his classes and with the trauma survivors groups. He could carry the weight of their stresses. That was the role he was there for; he wasn't the tactician or the decision maker. Leave the scheming and back-up plans for back-up plans to his dad, let Maria be the voice of normality and humanity, and Liz… well, Liz would take the leadership, the responsibility, the decision making, and every other thing that just plain needed to be done. From the start they all knew that Liz would be carrying the bulk of this fight. She had the most insight, the best way of knowing the right decisions. But it was also her nature. She had seen it, so she felt responsible for it, and she would see it through no matter what. At the end of the day, she called the shots. Because, sure, they were a team; but if Liz said jump not one of them would even stop to ask how high. She'd earned that trust, that responsibility, the hardest possible way.
Not to mention, she was, hands-down, the best of them at lying. And there was definitely going to be a whole lot of that going on when things finally started happening.
Which should be soon.
It had to be soon.
Liz had gotten clearer pictures as it got closer. She'd told him that he would be here, at his dad's house, when they arrived.
At first, that had freaked him out. His planned trip back to Roswell wasn't until Easter and that was well past the usual timeframe for Liz's predictions.
He had worried about the things that might make him come back to Roswell early. He'd even talked to his lecturers and taken off the week before Easter in the hopes that whatever disaster would call him home would wait or would be less bad if he was already there.
But the week had passed in quiet, unfulfilled anxiety.
The long weekend had finally come around and Liz had gotten to town looking about as excited about the holiday as he'd felt. She'd hugged him and confirmed that nothing had changed since her last vision, then she'd run through some meditation with him, desperately trying to centre herself as much as possible before heading home to face her parents.
Maria had decided last minute to cancel her show and join them for the weekend. She arrived late afternoon the day before, dumping her things unceremoniously at her mother's before joining them for dinner and one more strategy session. At least, they all hoped it would be the last one.
A sudden knock at the door made him jolt upright.
He jumped out of bed and dragged on a t-shirt from the back of his chair.
There were lots of reasons for someone to knock on the door this late at night. Lots of totally human reasons. Maybe a neighbour was having a heart attack. Maybe the sheriff's station needed his dad to come in and for some reason every phone wasn't working. Maybe someone had a flat tire.
Maybe there were aliens on his front porch.
Kyle saw his dad stumble out of his room as the knocking continued. They shared a glance as Kyle paused in front of the door.
After taking a moment to steady his breathing and centre his thoughts Kyle reached out and opened the door.
He stared at the group on the other side for a minute, unable to think of any words despite how long he'd had to prepare.
"Kyle!" Tess grinned and threw herself into his arms.
Kyle blinked in shock and tried to supress the urge to throw her straight back out the door.
"What?" He managed to ask.
"Yeah," Max stepped forward, "We're back."
…
Liz was jerked awake by the sound of her phone vibrating on her bedside table. She fumbled blearily for it and stabbed at the answer button haphazardly.
"Hello?" she managed to grunt.
"You need to get here now." Kyle's voice came loudly through the speaker, "You'll never believe who just showed up at our door."
"Okay," Liz whispered through the sudden increase in her heart rate. She had a plan for this. They had rehearsed. "I'll be ten minutes."
Liz rolled out of bed and grabbed the first clothes she found.
As she was pulling on her shoes she dialled Maria.
"What?" Maria answered blearily after several rings.
"It's time," Liz told her, "Are you coming with me?"
There was a short pause before Maria replied.
"I can't. I'm sorry, Liz, I can't face them tonight."
"That's okay, Maria," Liz replied, "I know how hard this is for you."
"It's not like it's easy for anyone else, though," Maria sighed, "But if I go with you I will end up slapping someone which might throw off the plan."
"I get it Maria. I'll let you know what happens."
Liz ducked out of her room and tiptoed down the hallway to the stairs. On the landing she grabbed her dad's keys and snuck out to his car without a backward glance. He would be angry with her for taking it without asking, but she was used to their disappointment by now.
On the short drive to the Valenti house she practiced some of the meditation techniques that Kyle had taught her to try and even out her breathing and get control of her power. She needed to be ready when she got there because any warning they could get about what was coming could save lives.
When she pulled up in front of the house she spared herself 10 seconds more to prepare for what she had to do, and then she jumped out of the car and dashed to the house. She didn't even pause at the door but simply walked straight inside.
Even though she'd seen them in so many flashes over the past weeks it still sent a shocking jolt through her to see them there. They looked so different and yet so much the same. She froze for a moment taking them in.
Max and Isabel were sitting on the couch next to Valenti while Tess perched on the arm closest to the door. Michael was leaning against the wall, watching Kyle pace in front of him.
Their clothes were strange. Michael and Isabel were wearing some weird uniform looking outfits that gave them a very odd silhouette and the satiny fabrics Max and Tess were decked out in looked like pyjamas. They all looked exhausted.
Liz reached out in a daze towards Michael, who was closest to her. She let her fingers brush his arm and reached out with her power for some glimpse of his future.
"You slept with me and then you just left! Did you expect me to be happy?" Maria's voice echoed in her ears.
Liz turned and took a step towards the others on the couch.
"You're really here." She murmured as she moved closer. Bracing herself, she reached out to drag Tess into a hug.
Tess was kneeling on the ground, sobbing. Tears streamed down her face as she literally shook with grief. She raised her head and screamed in anger and fear and despair.
Liz felt tears in her own eyes as she stepped back. Her hands were starting to shake as she reached for Isabel, who had risen from the couch when Liz approached. She gripped the other girl's arm.
She was angry, furious. She wanted to scream and cry and smash things. She started throwing words out, yelling about choices and amends, hating that he didn't understand.
Liz dragged in a shuddering breath and finally turned her eyes to Max, still sitting on the couch in front of her.
Meeting his eyes, all of the feelings she'd had for him came flooding back, and all of the pain. She stumbled back as tears spilled from her eyes.
"I'm sorry," She gasped turning away, "I just need a minute."
...
Max stood as Liz rushed from the room without looking at anyone else. He'd seen the turmoil in her eyes when she'd looked at him. He moved to follow her, wanting to talk to her, wanting to explain that she was the thing that had kept him going over the last years. He knew that he'd hurt her before they left, but he needed to tell her that through everything he'd suffered the thought of her had always given him hope.
Kyle stepped in front of him with a hand out.
"No," Kyle stopped him, "I'll talk to her. She needs a minute to process before she has to face you."
Max hesitated and then nodded grimly. It hurt to see her walk away from him, hurt to see for himself how much things had changed while they'd been gone. He'd known that they couldn't expect to just walk back into the lives that they'd left behind, but a part of him had hoped that their friends would at least welcome them back. Instead they watched them like they were strangers.
It was hard talking to Michael and Isabel, too. Their experiences over the last few years were so different from what he and Tess had been put through. Even though he knew it wasn't rational, a part of him blamed them for his capture and for not rescuing them sooner.
Even with Tess, the only one he'd had any real interaction with over the last years, he couldn't really summon the words to talk about what they'd been through. They had seen too many things, together and separately, to be able to go back to being friends or lovers. But at least they had an understanding. He knew the worst things that Kivar had put Tess through as she knew the worst he'd been subjected to. But they had been used against each other too much to be able to reach out for support now. There was just too much pain and loss between them.
Since the day that they landed on Antar Max had dreamt of the family he'd left behind on earth. He hadn't just left his parents, who had supported him through everything, but he'd also lost friends like Maria and Valenti who had always offered a sympathetic ear and advice. And he'd lost Liz, the person who had understood him better than he'd understood himself.
When he'd finally accepted that he was really coming home he'd fantasised about what their return would be like. None of his imagined encounters included Liz running away crying at a single glance from him.
Despite my apparent lack of reaction, I do love to get comments. And they make me feel bad about not posting which (sometimes) guilts me into working on this. So send me your thoughts and maybe the next update won't take quite so long! No promises.