"Oh God!I can't believe I'm being chased by a black guy!" Naruto screamed with sheer terror.

"Well, you better believe it now, cracker!" Devon snarled.

Naruto scowled slightly at the insult; he wasn't a 'cracker' or white. Even though he had blonde hair and blue eyes, he was asian. His last name was Uzumaki for crying out loud! That is a Japanese surname. Not to mention that his first name is very Japanese-sounding as well. I mean, who the hell would name their child Naruto? I mean, other than an asian person, or Nicki Minaj. Naruto nearly wanted to turn around and smack the shit out of Devon, and pull out his dreads that put Bob Marley's to shame. But, Devon had a gun, and would obviously use it to his advantage by blowing Naruto's brains out. Naruto only gave Devon the middle finger, then ran even faster when he saw the black man's eyes literally turn a bright red.

"You motherfucker! I will pop a glock in your mouth and make your brain slushie!" Devon hollered.

Naruto ignored Devon's pathetic excuse of an insult, and kept running. He suddenly felt his stomach cramp, indicating he had to either fart, or take a massive shit. Naruto inwardly groaned, but suddenly a light bulb went on in his head. He could use his literally shitty problem to his advantage in this situation. Naruto's lips quirked upwards into a sadistic smile and she stopped running. He pulled down his pants, showing Devon his tan yet round ass.

Devon quickly stopped to a halt, covering his eyes quickly at the ugly sight.

"Ah! I'm fucking blind! Man, why does your ass look like that?" Devon shrieked like a chubby girl sitting front row at a Justin Bieber concert.

Devon opened his eyes to see brown liquid spewing from between Naruto's butt-cheeks. The blonde then did a hand-stand, spreading his legs, revealing his tiny asian penis. Devon could only watch, his mouth gaped. Naruto spread his legs wider, causing the shit to spuirt out his ass like a water fountain. Devon was in too much shock to notice that Naruto's shit was heading right towards him. Suddenly a pool of Naruto's shit fell from the sky and landed on Devon. The shit splattered all over Devon and all around him. Naruto chuckled darkly, pulling his orange jump-suit back up.

Devon sat up, coughing and gagging due to the liquid shit that landed in his mouth and down his throat. Devon quickly stood up, but slipped and fell again in Naruto's slippery dookie. Devon looked at Naruto, anger quite evident in his eyes. He snarled, revealing his dookie-covered teeth that looked quite unpleasant. Devon stood up again, pulling the dookie-covered gun out of Naruto's shit puddle. Once Naruto saw this, he darted off in any direction. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea. It only added feul to the flame.

Naruto's eyes widened as he saw Sai's apartment come into view. It was a perfect place for a hide-out. Plus, Sai could draw two gangsters on some of his magical paper and they'll come to life and beat Devon's ass. Unless Devon shoots them first or something. Naruto gulped at the thought. Maybe shitting on Devon wasn't exactly the brightest idea. What do you expect? After all, Naruto is a blonde.

As Naruto ran up the stairs of the old and crusty apartment building, which was deemed condemned after Chouji's dad had farted in room 16, back in 1978. Naruto ran out of breath on the second floor. Devon was obviously black, therefore his stamina was extrememly fast, matching Naruto's ninja speed. The blonde cried out in frustration, as he nearly slipped on some semen on the stairs. He let out a shrill and gay scream, angry that he got some semen on his ninja sandals he bought at Wal-Mart for ten dollars. It was probably one of Sai's gay boyfriend that jacked-off on the stairs before he left. Fucking man-whore.

Naruto suddenly started to hum "So Many Man Whores" by Hilary Duff as he continued to jog up the stairs. Mentally slapping hiself, he frantically knocked on the door several times. Not waiting for an answer, running into Sai's house, shutting the door quickly.

"Sai!" Naruto screamed, sobbing, looking around for the gay painter.

He found Sai in his bedroom, painting a bowl full of turds.

"SAI!" Naruto screamed, tears running down his cheeks. "Some black guy is chasing after me!"

"Again?" Sai asked calmly, not bothering to look at him.

"Shut the hell up, Sai. I'm being serious. He could come in here and kill us both!" he cried. "But, the worst part is... that black guy... he was sleeping with Sasuke!"

Sai turned around to look at Naruto questioningly. "Wait... Sasuke is gay?"

"Duh!" Naruto shouted with frustration. "What was your first clue? Look at his hair! Look at his lipgloss! Look at his Hello Kitty attire he wears everyday. And... I'm gay too."

Naruto turned away from Sai and blushed. His ass-cheeks was on fire.

"You are?" he simply asked, putting his paint-brush down.

"Yes!" Naruto shouted. "It doesn't matter! I'm gay and -"

Suddenly Devon shot the upstairs window, glass shattering everywhere. Sai jumped back, shocked and upset that someone actually shot his window. Sai glared, but said nothing. He promptly sat down his paint brush yet again and gave Naruto the middle finger.

Naruto responded by pulling his pants down and mooning Sai. Turning around to see the gay painter's response, he noticed Sai was puking in a trash can.

"Hey, my ass doesn't look that bad!" Naruto whimpered.

Suddenly the black man crawled through the window, knocking down Sai's beautiful painting. Devon took a step forward in the room, tripping over the window. His gun slid across the floor of Sai's bedroom, giving Naruto the chance to get it. Quickly making a dash for it, he was tripped by Devon. The blonde cursed, reaching out to get it once more. Grasping it between his fingers, he turned around, aiming it at Devon's head. Devon automatically froze.

"Aye, man. L-Let's work this out or something," Devon stuttered. "If you give me the gun, I'll buy you lunch at Chick-Fil-A."

Naruto quickly tossed the gun to Devon, happiness and excitement in his eyes. "So when are you gonna take me to Chick-Fil-A?"

Devon only giggled, then pointed the gun at Naruto. "Never, motherfucker."

Sai sat on his stool next to his bed, face-palming at Naruto's stupidity. Sai definitely wasn't gonna risk his life due to his friend's kinky fetish for Chick-Fil-A. He would lazily watch Devon kill Naruto then maybe he and Sai could go eat - not at Chick-Fil-A, if you know what I mean. Sai was a player and he definitely liked black men, or morbidly obese men. But, knowing Devon, he'd probably just want to go eat at KFC, run from the cops, or play basketball.

"Time to die, you fat-ass." Devon smirked, his kinky mustache very visible.

Naruto wailed softly, preparing to die. Naruto could've swore his life was flashing before his eyes; he thought of the time he first shit himself on the playground in Kindergarden, the time he clogged up the bathroom in Middle School, the time he accidentally mistaken his dookie as brownies in High School, the time he swapt spit with Sakura in college - wait, okay, the last one totally didn't happen. If that did happen, Naruto would seriously commit suicide after kissing that slut's lips. Sakura probably has sucked more dicks than Kim Kardashian.

Naruto slapped himself, realizing he was letting his ADD get ahold of him again. As Naruto prepared to die at the evil clutches of Devon, he smelt a smell. It was a smelly smell that smelt... smelly. It smelled like bananas and turtle shells; it was Sasuke! The door was kicked open, revealing no one other than the infamous Sasuke Uchiha, wearing his usual Hello Kitty clothing he bought from Hot Topic. Sasuke jumped protectively in front of the blonde, glaring like a fat person protecting a peice of cake.

"S-Sasuke?" Naruto gasped, looking up at his savior in emo clothing.

"Devon, leave Naruto alone." Sasuke warned.

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AN: Cliffy right? Hope you enjoyed, bitches and gentlemen. Sorry that the chapter is so short. Remember, I do not own Naruto.