I'm very sorry that I haven't updated in so long, I've just been super busy. I'll try to update again tomorrow, since I will be away for several weeks. Sorry again for the hiatus my story was on for a while.

This is, admittedly, not my favorite chapter. It is not just a random chapter, as it will lead to a minor plot line.

Chapter 6: My First Realization

Life goes on. That's an important lesson. After hard, confusing, or just plain boring times, life goes on. Yes, I admit, I don't always realize that myself, but at times like this one, I needed to keep that lesson with me.

I had my first kiss. Sounds like a reason that one would want life to go on, so they could join some whirlwind romance or just declare it to the whole world, but not everyone's story is the same.

Moments before my first kiss, I swore to the boy I shared it with that we wouldn't tell anyone. In case that doesn't seem complicated enough yet, my first kiss was with my sworn frenemy. Sure, maybe he could be caring or helpful at times, though I'd be the last to admit it, that's why he's not my complete enemy (and I couldn't really be complete enemies with any of Carly's friends, that would just be too complex). But, the majority of the time, he was just an annoying nub.

Trust me, I have no problem not sharing the news about my first kiss with anyone. In fact, I'm quite glad to keep this just between us, as kissing Freddie Benson is a very disgusting thought. The other part that makes the memory less painful is that we kissed just to get it over with. Thanks to that, it was just a nice simple kiss that will not really need to ever be brought back up or end up having any significant effect on the world. It was so meaningless; I could have shared it with a slab of wood for all I care.

Anyway, back to my point, life goes on. That's what I'm thinking as I stand in the elevator. Hopefully Freddie will realize this too, and we won't be too awkward around each other, or even around Carly for that matter. After all, since it meant nothing, it will be easy for me to get over the fact it even happened. I just want to make sure he thinks the same thing.

The elevator dings and I return from the land of my thoughts. "Hello Shay family!" My voice echoes through the apartment, and I hear a scuffling of feet on the stairs before Carly's face pops into view.

"Sam! You're actually on time."

"That I am."

"Freddie will be over shortly, and then we can go to town."

"Must we wait for the nub?" It came out as a grumble.

"Yes, Sam. I know you don't like him very much, but he is my friend, so we must wait for him"

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh…" I flopped onto the couch as my groan was silenced by a sharp look from Carly.

As if on cue, the front door to the Shay apartment opened, and the figure of Freddie Benson stood in the doorway.

The two of us looked carefully at each other, and luckily, it wasn't too awkward. If we appeared awkward at all, Carly didn't make any sign that she noticed.

Carly flashed Freddie a friendly smile, which he returned with a small smile of his own.

"Shall we go?" Carly's words influenced the three of us to turn around and walk down the hallway like an invisible force was pushing us.

The three of us walked through the park, down the street, occasionally visiting some shops. Finally, we resorted to our usual stop, the Groovy Smoothie.

After we ordered our smoothies, the three of us sat down at a table off to the side of the room. We were silent for a short while, the hollow sound of our slurping filled the air around us, and we sat, hearing nothing else but the whispers of other people in the restaurant, the low hum of the heater, and our slow slurps.

"Sam?" A voice snapped my thoughts out of the slow and hot air that filled the Groovy Smoothie.

"Yeah Carls?"

"Do you want to go to Build-a-Bra later?"

"Sure. I don't have anything else to do." I was glad Carly suggested we do something together, especially since I had absolutely nothing to do for the entire day. Plus, I didn't think that Carly and I had spent enough time together recently.

"Good. I've really needed some new bras. I was thinking of getting some pi-"

"Stop, I don't want to hear any more!" Carly and I turned to look at Freddie. His face was a reddish color, and his eyes were a bit wider than usual. He held his hands up in front of him slightly, which he must have used as part of his exclamation. Realizing that we were making Freddie uncomfortable by discussing bras, and overall feeling uncomfortable ourselves that he was witnessing our conversation, we decided to change topics.

"Looks like I'm done with my smoothie!" I jumped up from the seat.

"Already?" Carly and Freddie looked at me with slightly shocked faces, but not filled with too much surprise, after all, it is me we're talking about.

"Yep, Momma was hungry." I walked over to the trashcan, releasing the cup with one hand before returning to my seat.

Freddie shook his head as a smile curled on his lips.

"What're you laughing at Benson?"

Carly immediately looked up as Freddie shot me a look, preparing herself in case this got heated. Luckily, this time, Freddie knew better than to challenge me in a public place.

"Nothing really. You know what, I just got some new equipment in, and I think I really should go set it up in the studio." Way to get out of me pummeling your face.

"How about all of us go back to the apartment, and Sam and I can grab our coats and go to Build-a-Bra while you install whatever it is you need to install?"

"Okay." Freddie and Carly continued to the trashcan, letting their empty cups fall into its depths as well. I followed them out the door.

"See you later Freddie," Carly called. She held her coat in one hand, and waved with the other.

"Yep, see ya! Bye you two." He gave us a small nod before jogging up the stairs to the studio.

"Off to Build-a-Bra?" I questioned my friend.

"Off to Build-a-Bra!" The two of us walked out the door to the Shay's apartment, jackets in hand, and set off to Build-a-Bra.

"I'm back!" I called into the house as I clumsily stumbled inside, my hands filled with too many bags to properly navigate the front door. No one responded. I took that as my cue and continued my struggle up the stairs.

I sat the bags down on my bed and proceeded to empty each one. Carly must have built around twenty customized bras, but I only made seven. One can only need so many bras, or so I thought as Carly continued to add on to her pile

The rest of my bags were full of food or food related items. On our way back from Build-a-Bra, we passed this meat shop that I always wanted to go in, and since we had nothing else going on, Carly let me stop in the meat store. When I walked inside, I was overwhelmed. There were shelves and display cases filled with meat and various meat related items. Meat was hanging from the ceiling, lying on shelves, hidden in freezers, it was everywhere. The store wasn't very big, but it held more meat than I'd ever seen in one place before.

Carly, observing my stunned expression, made herself cozy at a table modeled after a pork chop, and let me explore by myself. I ended up buying several selections of special meats, a pillow that looked like bacon, a mug that said "World's Biggest Meat Lover" and several other assorted items that I had an impulse to purchase.

I smiled aimlessly as I pulled each item out of its respective bag. After thrusting everything in its proper place (which was wherever I felt like it should go at the time), I flopped onto my bed in an exhausted huff. I had fully intended on staying up and finishing some last minute things, but the day had worn me out, and before I knew it, I was asleep.

It felt like forever since I was able to take a mid-afternoon nap, and it was a very welcome surprise. When I woke up, I stretched my arms wide and sat up, propping myself against an assortment of pillows, including my new one.

Glancing around the room, my eyes returned to the mirror. My vision was blurred in my thoughts, I wasn't looking into the mirror to see myself, I was looking through the mirror (figuratively of course) to see what was behind it. Slowly, I drifted from my seated position over to the mirror. I guided it to the side with a swift movement of my hand. I spotted what I was searching for, reached up, and lightly tugged it off of the wall.

Still dazed by my thoughts, I carried the piece of paper with me to the little table my mother considers a desk. Sitting down, I took a moment to return from my thoughts before finally placing my finally cleared vision on the sheet.

For some reason, I wanted to read through all of my firsts. Most likely because I was still confused about the last one, and wanted to make sure that none of the things on my list were just a figment of my imagination. As I read farther and farther down the list, I started to notice something. This something caught me off guard, and was by no means a welcome realization.

Almost the majority of my firsts, revolved around, or in some way included, Freddie Benson.

Horrified by this strange thought, I reread my list about ten times, before eventually admitting that Freddie was on the list an unfortunate number of times.

I thought this through. Why is he on the list so many times? I hate him! I guess that one of them is my first enemy, and another one is my first frenemy. So, I suppose that a lot of these things are negative. Well, that makes me feel better.

I came to the conclusion that, it wasn't so bad he showed up on the list so many times, because all of the times he showed up (except for my first kiss), were for something negative, that clearly displayed my hatred for him.

Glancing up from the page, I found myself in the middle of my room. I must have been pacing. This whole ordeal got me so worked up that I got up from my seat and paced around the room. Luckily, everything was cleared up.

"Samantha Puckett," I heard my mother's voice. I didn't know when she arrived at the house; I was so busy thinking I didn't hear her come inside.

"Yes?"

"I'm going out tonight." Of course. "You have to cook for yourself seeing as Melanie's still at boarding school." Her footsteps approached my room.

Suddenly, I realized that I was still holding my list. No one can know Freddie and I kissed, no one.

Frantically, I looked at the mirror. My mother would be in my room before I had time to hide the list behind it and rearrange the mirror. What do I do? If anyone finds out about our kiss, I'll have to kill him or her, then Freddie, then myself. I might as well just die of horror before I kill anyone. I mean, come on, Freddie? That's a very disgusting thought. If anyone found out, they might actually think I… I felt my food rising in my throat at the thought. I like him. I shivered.

I just couldn't understand how it wouldn't be obvious to people that I don't like him, seeing as we hate each other. Just because you kiss someone, doesn't mean you like him. But, unfortunately, most people, Carly and my mother included, don't understand the idea of kissing "just to get it over with." They're lovey-dovey happy ending types of people, which I am most certainly not. So, I really needed to make sure no one found my list.

In a last minute attempt to hide it before my mother walked into my room to witness any further suspicious activity, I threw my list under my bed. Quickly, I turned around, just in time too, because my mother walked into view at that moment.

"Now, when I'm gone, you better not burn down this house. If you do, you're going to live on the street while I work my butt off to afford a new one. Do you understand me?

"Yes." I don't understand why she has to take everything to an extreme sometimes.

"If you for one second even think there may be a chance of something going wrong, I want you to get food from someone else. Mooching shouldn't be too hard for you. You could always go over to your friend's house, you know, that kid Clarice or whatever its name is." Carly. Is that really so hard? C-A-R-L-Y, Carly. Wait until I tell her this. I wonder if she'll disown me as a friend for having such an incompetent mother.

"Sure."

"I'd love to stay and chat, but I have more pressing matters. So, bye now!" Lies. My mother wouldn't want to 'chat' with me, she'd much rather be mooching free stuff off of her date for the night.

I followed my mother out of the door. She got into an old but still shiny station wagon that was driven by some man with a small beard and a clip-on tie. I watched her leave before setting out on my usual route to Carly's apartment.

So, maybe it wasn't the most riveting chapter ever, but, as I said, it will lead to a minorish plot point. I hope all of you enjoyed it, and a HUGE thank you to all of the people that still stuck with my story despite my lack of updates. :)

I would love to hear what everyone thinks of this chapter, and their thoughts/predictions on where My List of Firsts should/will go. Thanks again!