AN: so here's chapter two. moving along, i guess. right now we're still in sasuke's pov but eventually we'll get into different povs. the present tense will change too, eventually. it's being used for these "prologue"/"exposition" type chapters. i swear i'll do explanations of all the pairings/parents of kids, etc, eventually too!
guest: naruto is trans in this fic! so yes he knew he could potentially be able to get pregnant but- shinobi have contraceptives and hormones and stuff so he didn't think it'd really be possible with all that? as for what naruto and sasuke are... i'm not sure if they even know that. everyone around them definitely considers them a 'couple' and the two love each other but it's more complicated than that. at the moment they sort of both feel like one can't exist without the other?
anyway. in this chapter sasuke has more issues. continued, i guess. i'm sorry, son.
A year comes and goes before he even realizes what's happened. They move from a little apartment to a house gifted to them by the village. It has all the necessities and then some- the village loves Naruto now. They want to show their appreciation. Want to show how much he means to them.
"There's extra bedrooms," the carpenter says, smiling with a twinkle in his eyes. "For when you decide to grow the family more."
(his heart clenches and sweat brews underneath his layers of clothes. naruto laughs and waves it off. sasuke stirs on it for weeks. more children. more children. he can't even hold boruto yet without shaking- he can't imagine bringing more into this world when he's too shattered to be a parent.)
Naruto goes back to taking on mission as Boruto's first birthday passes. They have a large affair at Ino and Sakura's insistence and it's packed full of faces Sasuke can hardly recognize- and their spawn. The Uminos flock in with their brood, Sakura carries the not even six months old Sarada around proudly, Shikamaru's… group brings their own toddler and the newborn.
Sasuke stays towards the back and only emerges when it's time to cut cake and open presents. He's too uncomfortable otherwise- though he does manage to crack a half smile at Naruto trying to get Boruto to rip the gifts open.
With Naruto gone, back to working, Sasuke finds himself left alone with his son far more than he's comfortable. He's not a shinobi of Konoha anymore, (and he won't ever be again, even if the village ever trusted him again- he'd never lend himself, his agency, to the village that martyred itachi for its' own purposes), so there's no need to send him off. He's a stay at home dad now, as odd as it feels to say, and he tries to adapt as needed.
He spends a lot of time watching cooking shows, his sharigan blazing, and copying the movements to make failures of lunches for Naruto to take with him.
Boruto starts to walk as the fall stretches into winter. Naruto comes home one day and the toddler rises to his feet on his own, face wide in a toothy grin. "Daddy!"
Naruto cries the rest of the night, holding the tot tight to his chest while the little brunette patted at his cheeks, wondering what was wrong.
Sasuke watches as his son grows before his eyes. Watches his eyes darken to a deep blue, like a sapphire, and his hair darkens more and more until it's black like his own. He watches him talk and walk- turning from an infant Sasuke's scared to hold to a toddler he has to chase around the house to keep from harm. A toddler that grins up at him and says "I wanna be like you, Papa!" and breaks his heart.
(years ago, long before he learned the truth and the world crushed sasuke and made his new, he would have wanted a son that was just like him. who idolized him. now all he sees is a path that leads to destroying yourself in the toddler's words and he wants something else so, so badly.)
He loves Naruto too, of course, loves his whisker faced father and throws himself at his legs whenever he walks through the door-
But naruto's filled his head with stories- stories of the good in Sasuke that the Uzumaki believes- knows- must exist.
Boruto thinks the world of his fathers. He wants to be as strong as both of them. He wants to be both of them but, Naruto is there even when he's not. His presence and love is felt in every room of the house, in every breath the child takes.
Sasuke is an enigma, someone who's there all the time but locked away like a treasure waiting to be opened.
It'll only get worse as he gets older, this idolization and desire to win his father's affections.
(he doesn't know it's there, merely hidden under the boy who's too scared to feel who pretends he's a man.)
He's never been a very affectionate man, even with Naruto but, that wasn't to say they weren't intimate at all. They were content with more chaste interactions- both of them with their own sets of issues about sex and close, close intimacy- but on the occasion they did dabble. Boruto was the proof of that.
And, when Boruto was three, they had another form of proof to show to others who doubted them being a couple at all.
Naruto was a month along when they found out, the blond coming home from a mission with a case of assumed flu.
Sakura gave them the news, her voice bright as she laughed about the irony. She and Ino were thinking of having another child, their third, too.
Naruto grinned and took Sasuke's hand. Sasuke tried to smile back.
(he excused himself to the bathroom at some point, when they were discussing things, and leaned his head against the cold porcelain of the sink. he thought back to sarada- when they didn't know what she would be and the dreams that plagued him- only this time they seemed so much more real. he thought of brothers killing brothers, of a family history being replayed, of children killing each other for power. he thought of all this before his stomach overtook him and he turned to puke into the toilet- it all too much.)
The second pregnancy is so much worse than the first.
Karui, of all people, comes over to give Naruto some help. Apparently her own pregnancy was something from hell. She ignores sasuke, (bad blood doesn't die away easily), and instead gives the blond tips on how to deal with the morning sickness and aches and pains. She's especially helpful when Naruto's nose starts to bleed- because Sasuke would have panicked. She instead shrugs it off and says "it happens".
Naruto takes time off from the moment they find out about the pregnancy. Boruto is happy to have both his parents are back and takes to the idea of being a big brother especially easily.
"Are you excited, Boruto?"
He's three by now and talking, making friends, growing. He has playdates occasionally with the Harunos and the growing Nara brood.
(he mentions to sasuke sometimes that he likes shikadai best. "even if she's a girl like chocho and sarada.")
"Yeah!" His grin is sharp like Naruto's. It's the only time Sasuke doesn't see himself in the child. "I'm gonna- teach him everything I know! That's a lot!"
"Them," it's the only interjection Sasuke puts into the conversation. "They could be a girl."
He watches his son make a face. "I want a brother. Shika says sisters are- are- t-tro-troublesome!"
Naruto laughs, saying that he'll have to deal with whatever he gets and Sasuke prays, prays they'll have a girl.
For once, it seems, someone above listens to Sasuke.
Months pass by mostly the same as before with the exception of Naruto being around daily now. He spends most of his time with Boruto or dragging the family to outings despite how sick the pregnancy has made him.
At seven months he decides to leave the house to visit Tsunade. She's back in Konoha for the week or so and he's so excited to see her. Sakura's going too and Naruto begs, begs Sasuke to come with. ("boruto can stay with temari and chouji today- it'll be fine, y'know! c'mon sasuke, pleease!")
He declines.
It's a decision he regrets later.
By night Naruto hasn't returned. Concern, a rare feeling in Sasuke's stomach, has grown so much by the time he puts Boruto to bed that he actually calls Ino up to see if she's seen Sakura yet. The conversation is awkward and stilted but she confirms that Sakura's still missing too.
He's about to leave to find his Uzumaki himself when a disheveled medic nin appears at the doorstep. Naruto went into early labour and there's been complications-
Sasuke's gone before the medic can even finish what they're saying.
He hasn't used a jutsu since Boruto was born but, body flicker comes easily to him even after the three years. Konoha is a grid in his head, a map to travel, and the hospital is a beacon of chakra for him to focus on.
Sakura notices his arrival before anyone else, rushing out of the maternity ward to keep him back in the hospital.
Tsunade's with him, he's okay he's okay it's just the baby-
(he would feel guilt for this later, far later:)
"I don't care. Take care of Naruto."
He paces for hours afterwards, Boruto forgotten at home, asleep in bed.
(sakura had the foresight to call sai when she saw sasuke arrive empty handed. he stays with the toddler until his own parents return the next day.)
It's nearly three am when Tsunade leaves the room, eyes heavy but a smile on her face nonetheless.
"It's a girl."
He doesn't care. It doesn't matter compared to Naruto. If this thing hurt him- if he helped create something that hurt him-
He pushes past Tsunade and Sakura into the room, heart racing.
Naruto's in the bed, pale and clammy, and there's a little a bundle lying on his chest.
He gets close and-
She's beautiful.
(the prophetic dreams die as he looks at his daughter. there won't be any brothers killing brothers, not anymore.)
"Wanna hold her?"
And he doesn't, god he doesn't, doesn't want to corrupt this shining, beautiful thing-
But he does anyway.
(outside tsunade discusses with sakura the rupture and the chakra naruto had to use to help stabilize the babe. if it wasn't for kurama- well, they just have to hope there won't be any side effects.)