(it wont let me delete phrases again.) HELLOOOO MY DARLINGS! ((Italy was totally the shiz)) Yes, I know I've been back for a while. Heee! I'm bad. But one of my summer reading things is due Thursday so it might suck up some future time (yes my evil teacher made summer stuff due DURING summer) Anyway. I totally love how I missed 6-9 day wth by me. So we're going to have to jump in the time machine later. BUT.
I always update on the 4th of July for some reason. So I figure this is the plan. I'll update What If to get your attention, then CoB, then maybe a oneshot or two. XD Btw, Roxas isn't free yet. :wink:
What If…
Axel decided to go on a diet?
((as suggested by the darling Kerrilea))
"I'm fat."
Roxas snorted as he rolled over in bed to face Axel, who was staring at his boxer-clad self in the mirror. "No you're not."
Axel pinched the skin on his stomach. "Yes I am! See? That's fat."
Roxas sighed and sat up. "Axel, everyone needs at least some fat on their body to stay healthy. It's a part of nature."
Axel frowned as he continued to grip his 'fat' stomach. "But not this much! I need to go on a diet."
Roxas joined him by the mirror, encircling Axel's waist from behind. "No you don't."
"Yes I do."
"Axel," Roxas whispered, kissing Axel's shoulder. "I'm telling you. You are perfectly healthy." He skimmed his hands up and down Axel's chest. "There is no fat here."
Axel absently nodded along with Roxas' statements. "I don't know…"
Roxas grinned as he pinched Axel's 'fat.' "Come on. Let's go get breakfast."
Axel sighed. "Alright."
--((after breakfast))--
"Gah," Axel said as he and Roxas sat eating Sea Salt Ice Cream on their 'mission.' "I even feel fatter."
Roxas sighed in exasperation. "Of course you do dumbass, we just ate!"
"This is different!"
"Of course it is." Roxas sighed as he stood to throw away his trash. "Alright, fine. You think you're fat?"
Axel nodded.
"Want to know the only way to slim down?"
He nodded again.
"Diet and exercise."
Axel made a face. "I hate forced exercise. We exercise enough. Diet, however…" Axel looked off into the distance, lost in thought.
Roxas rolled his eyes. "You don't need a diet!"
Axel ignored him. "I'll check the internet tonight."
--((the next morning))--
"Come on Axel," Roxas said we he zipped up his cloak, "we're going to be late for breakfast!"
"I'm not going," Axel said plainly as he strolled to his dresser and pulled out a huge bar of chocolate.
"Axel…" Roxas said, turning around and eyeing the giant bar of chocolate. "Is that your breakfast?"
"And lunch and dinner," Axel supplied.
Roxas stared at him incredulously. "You aren't seriously…"
"Yep!" Axel grinned, "I'm going on the chocolate diet!"
"But chocolate is bad for you. It-"
"helps lower your blood pressure and fight heart disease, says the Internet," Axel stated triumphantly. "I can lose weight and enjoy it!"
Roxas sighed as he left him to his 'breakfast.' "And so the fad diet begins…"
--((later that week))--
Axel grinned as he strutted into Roxas' bedroom and cleared his throat. Roxas looked up from his romance novel, raising an eyebrow. "Yes?"
"Notice anything different?"
Roxas gave him a once over. "Nope."
Axel glared at him. "I lost two pounds!"
Roxas rolled his eyes. "Axel, your weight fluctuates two pounds plus and minus every day. Two pounds means nothing."
Axel stuck his tongue out at him. "You're just a nonbeliever in the chocolaty goodness! I'll be slim again, you'll see. And then…." he broke off, grinning at the prone Roxas.
"What?"
"You won't leave this bedroom for a week!" He winked and walked off to his room.
--((that night at dinner))--
Roxas looked down at his full plate of spaghetti and meatballs, Axel's favorite dinner. Then he looked across the table at the empty seat where Axel would usually sit, inhaling his meal.
This is getting serious, Roxas thought. I'll have to resort to drastic measures. Standing up, Roxas took his plate and walked to Axel's room. He walked in to find the redhead happily munching on a bar of chocolate and drinking hot cocoa. His chewing slowed when he saw Roxas' plate.
"What are you doing?" Axel asked as he eyed the spaghetti.
"Nothing," Roxas said nonchalantly, watching as Axel practically drooled at his plate, "I just figured you'd want some company." He snickered to himself as Axel's eyes followed his fork from the plate to his mouth. "Would you like some?"
Axel cleared his throat and went back to eating his chocolate bar. "Nope, I'm good."
"Are you sure?" Roxas pressed, "It's really good. Soft meatballs in warm spaghetti….Mmmm." He happily continued to slurp up his spaghetti. Axel stared before shaking himself.
"Yep, I'm perfectly fine."
Roxas sighed in frustration and ate his meal.
--((the next day))--
This is the last straw, Roxas thought as he entered Axel's room, brimming with determination.
"Axel." Roxas ground out, staring at the redhead who was lying face up on his bed, a bar of chocolate on his stomach. "I can't take this anymore."
"Take what?" Axel said innocently.
"This chocolate diet! If anything, you're gaining fat! And you're getting lazier! No one ever sees you anymore unless you're on a mission!" Roxas glared at him. "You look exactly the same! If you got any thinner, you'd be anorexic," he put his hands over his eyes. "You need to realize that you are not fat, and you are fine exactly as you are."
"But-"
"No buts! I am resorting to desperate measures. I went online yesterday and found a new diet for you if you're so hellbent on being on a diet."
"And that is?"
Roxas' frustration was slowly replaced with a sly grin as he approached Axel. "The Sex Diet. I found out that frequent sexual encounters increase exercise, which lessens weight, increases cardiac health, and decreases depression."
Axel chuckled as Roxas covered Axel's body with his own. "And this is a desperate measure?"
"Oh yes," Roxas said. "One that needs to be performed at least three, maybe four times a day."
Axel pretended to think. "I think I could live with that."
"Good," Roxas said, before covering Axel's lips with a fiery kiss. He pulled away, grinning. "I'm sick of tasting chocolate on your breath."
Axel switched their positions, unzipping Roxas jacket and discarding it. Then, he reached under his bed and pulled out a can of Hershey's chocolate. "What do you say I cover you with it instead?"
Roxas chuckled which turned into a groan as Axel ran his tongue around the shell of his ear. "That sounds like a good idea."
"That sounds like a great idea," Axel replied as he popped open the lid.
--((End!))--
Haha, damn I'm evil. That one was kind of…..ridiculously uneventful? Ah well. There's only so much I can do. And hell, if you google chocolate diet OR sex diet, shit comes up. It's amazing. I'll update soon, I promise! Leave me love!
Last one was indeed Crossdressing! Good job!
That's the point of the sheet Sora," he said gesturing at his hips, "It prevents you from seeing anything…yet. It promotes mystery."