Warnings- suicide attempt, cancer, human AU

The doctor's words rang in your ears. You tried to pretend it wasn't true, but the evidence was staring you right back in the face, a metaphorical middle fingers in the air.

You had been cleared almost two years ago. You were supposed to be free. The first round with cancer almost destroyed you. The pain, the hospitals, the medications. You barely survived.

Now you learned that not only is it back, but it's moved to another part of your body. A more dangerous part. It was if you could feel the cancer cells moving through your bones, like there were trillions of little bugs crawling in your body.

You wiped the tears from your cheeks, not noticing you were even crying at first. You nodded, letting the doctor know you heard her. She gave you a sympathetic smile and left the room.

Again…

Not again…

You were to be discharged from the hospital later that day, after the last few tests came in. You laid back in the bed, the tiles of the ceiling blurring because of unshed tears.

You blinked hard and reached over to get your phone. You needed to make a few calls. Your parents, your friends… your fiancé. He needed to know, but you were afraid of what he would say… You hadn't met him when you were first diagnosed.

You remembered the hardships you went through, all the hardships you put your family through. You felt a pang in your chest. What if he couldn't handle you? What if he left you because of this?

That fear was quickly squashed when you told him.

"Oh baby… Don't worry. I won't let you go through this alone. I'll be here for you no matter what." Sans said, the sincerity so strong you could hear it through the small phone. You promised him you'd be home for dinner and hung up, a small smile on your face.

Sans had made you a fantastic dinner, making all the things he knew you loved. He didn't mention the cancer, or ask any questions. He knew you would tell him when you were ready. It had been a tough day for everyone.

You helped clear the table, or at least tried to help clear the table. Your hands had been shaking so badly you dropped the plate, shattering it. Sans smiled weakly at you and shooed you off to take a shower while he cleaned up the floor.

As you made your way to the bathroom, you could feel your bones grow heavy. It was almost like just the thought of the bone cancer caused it to grow even faster. The heaviness in your chest made it hard to breathe.

You locked the door behind you, leaning heavily on it and sliding down to the ground. You let a silent sob escape your throat, the reality of your situation crashing down on you. You flashbacked to what those damned doctors put you through last time and felt your breathing stop.

The shots… you still had scars from all the shots and IVs they stuck in you.

All the days you spend, writhing in agony on the sterile white bed, while your mother wiped your vomit from your chin. You sobbed again. You couldn't handle it. Not again.

You rushed to the shower and grabbed your shaving razor, desperate to avoid your fate. If you were going to die, you were going to die on your own terms. You weren't going to let this illness control your life again.

You dropped the plastic razor into the floor and stomped on it, glad you didn't take your shoes off. The cheap plastic cracked easily, and you grabbed the razor that was sticking out the most. You tried prying off the left over plastic, but it wasn't worth the effort.

You held the razor to your arm, right under your elbow where you knew the veins were the thickest from all the needles that went into your skin. The metal had barely cut into you when the bathroom door flew open.

Sans dropped his credit card onto the tiles and rushed over to you. He smacked the razor out of your hand and yanked you to your feet. You struggled against his grip, cursing him for trying to stop you. You started flailing around wildly, doing anything to get him to let do.

His fingers dug into your upper arm almost painfully, but he was way stronger than you. There was no way you could escape. Finally, you fell limp, letting him hold your weight.

"Stand up." He growled out angrily. You stood, your knees shaking almost too much to stand on your own. Suddenly, your cheek was burning painfully. You cried out, falling slightly. Sans still had a grip on your arm, so you couldn't fall completely.

Sans had hit you. Sans, who pulled over to help a turtle cross the road. Sans, who stayed up with you for three days when you had a cold a few months ago. Sans, who would rather have his nose broken than throw a punch of his own. That same Sans hit you.

"How could you do that to me?" He said, practically screaming. There were tears running down his face. You stared at him in numb shock. "How could you even think of leaving me like that?"

"I…" You couldn't respond.

"And what about your family, huh?" He continued, not even hinting that he was going to be done anytime soon. "After everything you've survived, you were just going to throw it away? Throw your family away? Throw me away?"

This continued for what felt like an eternity. You could tell he was getting his own frustrations out as well, so you didn't stop him. You found yourself crying again, the silent tears running down your face. Abruptly, Sans fell silent.

You glanced up at him, and saw tears on his cheeks again. He pulled you into a tight hug and sunk to the floor with you.

"I could have lost you…" He said, mostly to himself. His arms tightened around you. "What were you thinking?"

"I don't think I can survive this a second time… I can't handle it. This is going to kill me. I know it… I can't handle the needles and the IVs and the treatments and the surgeries and the pain and the smell of the hospitals all the damn time!" You rambled, growing more and more frantic with each word. By the time Sans cut you off, you were screaming at nothing.

Sans placed his hand over your mouth, preventing you from talking anymore. You tried calming down, but you were starting to hyperventilate instead.

"Come on, breathe with me." Sans said, releasing you and helping you control your breathing. It took a few minutes, but soon you were breathing normally. The room stopped spinning, and you were able to focus on Sans' face.

He was smiling, but it was a tired kind of smile. You felt fresh tears sting your eyes as you buried your face in his shirt.

"I'm s-so sorry." You sobbed, gripping the fabric of his shirt in your hands as if he would float away if you didn't hold him.

"I'm here. Don't worry. You won't be alone." He muttered softly into your hair as he rubbed your back, trying to get you to calm down. "Come on, let's get something to drink. We're both dehydrated after that." He gave another weak smile, and you couldn't help but smile in return, your own smile watery and small.

Sans stood and held a hand out for you. Taking his hand, he helped you up so quickly you jumped a few inches in the air before falling against his chest. You couldn't help but giggle a little as he held you close.

You stared at the liquid dripping through the IV listlessly. You had been in the hospital for a week this time. While it wasn't the longest time you've spent pinned down to a sterile bed, it was still way too long in your opinion.

You sighed and turned your head to stare at the ceiling. Sans had brought those suction cup darts the other day, and the two of you spent hours throwing them up. They've been slowly unsticking and falling back down onto the bed, but there were still a half dozen stuck to the tiles.

When the nurse saw, she had to leave the room for a moment to keep her laughter under control.

You had very little to do lately. You couldn't get out of bed lately either. The pain in your bones had been growing more and more intense until you had to be carried into the hospital. You took another deep breath and closed your eyes. Maybe you could fill the time with a nap.

Next thing you know, your room is packed with people. You were mildly surprised you managed to fall asleep, let alone stay asleep while the group shuffled in.

Everyone was there. They were all Sans' friends to begin with, but you soon bonded and you were just as close to them as he was. Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Mettaton, Asgore and Toriel. Everyone was there. You couldn't help but smile at your friends.

You had to use the bed to help you sit up because you couldn't sit up yourself just then. Sans pushed his way to the front of the crowed with a sheepish smile.

"I tried to get them to come in a few at a time but they all just rushed in." He said, handing you one of your favorite iced coffee drinks from the local coffee shop. He knew how much you hated the hospital food, and how much you hated how tired being there made you.

You took the cup with a bigger smile and took a large gulp before addressing the crowed.

"Hey everybody." You said, your voice weaker than it usually is. A week in a hospital can really take its toll on someone.

"Hey there punk! Long tome no see! You look like crap!" Undyne yelled excitedly. You wince a little at the volume of her voice, but snicker a little as her girlfriend scolded her.

"U-undyne!' Alphys said in a hushed yell. "You c-can't just say she looks like c-c-crap! She's s-sick…"

You snickered again, pretending not to hear their argument. Papyrus, Sans' younger brother, hopped on the bed with a grin. You held back a yelp as the movement caused your whole body to spark with intense pain, but you didn't let your smile drop.

"Sister! I was very distraught to hear of your condition, so I had everyone at school sign this card for you! We all wish you well!" He said, his tone just as loud and excited as Undyne's. You remembered the first time you told him that you and Sans were getting married. He stared at you for a second before tackling you and calling you 'big sister'.

You took the card Papyrus was holding out to you as Sans took the coffee from you. You opened it and felt tears threaten to fall. There were dozens of signatures, some even had little messages to go along with the names. 'Get well soon!' 'kick that cancer's butt!' 'we believe in you!'

"Thank you Papyrus." You said, wiping away the moisture that had mysteriously gathered on your cheek. It hurt to lift your arm, but you didn't want your friends to worry.

"Here dear, I know how much you dislike the food here." Toriel, a larger woman who works at the local school. You bonded over a love for baking, and had been good friends ever since. Toriel handed you a small box, tied with a small white string.

Instantly, you were hit with the warm scent of butterscotch and cinnamon. You felt your heart swell at the thoughtfulness of your friends. You opened the box and your mouth started watering at the sight of the most perfect piece of pie you had ever seen in your life.

"Thank you so much Tori! You know me so well." Sans took the box and put it on the side table as Toriel leaned down to give you a hug. You had to stifle another groan of pain.

Just then, a nurse popped her head in the door.

"Oh! I didn't know you had guests." She said, looking a little awkward.

"Must be time for a checkup, huh babe?" Sans said, standing and stretching. He pecked you on the cheek. "I'll catch up with you after, alright?" He started for the door, and thankfully the others followed after him.

You heard faint conversations about cafeteria food versus the fast food joint a few minutes down the road. You could hear your friend's voices all the way until the elevator doors closed. The nurse had moved in the room with her cart, preparing for the checkup.

"Quite the group, huh?" She said with a fond smile. You couldn't help but laugh at that. She handed you your coffee before taking your blood pressure.

"That's an understatement." You said with a fond smile. "You should see them when we do drinking games." The thought of the last party would be forever branded insides your eyelids. Undyne shaved half her head on a dare, Papyrus did a keg stand and Mettaton sang catchy pop songs in awful German.

"It's nice to see some life come through these halls." The nurse said with a wistful smile. "So many people come in here, already accepting their fate… as if they were already dead. That much life and vitality… it's really refreshing." She finished by replacing your IV drip and turned to you with a smile. "Oh look at me, rambling on. I'll bring you dinner soon, alright? I'll send Sans back in."
She had been your nurse long enough to recognize the short man, especially because he was quite recognizable. Even the workers at the front desk just let him through now, not bothering to make him sign in. He was the most popular person in the whole building apparently.

Not that you really experienced that. While you were stuck in bed, getting test upon test ran on you, while you were getting poked and prodded, Sans was out getting you treats and talking with every nurse, doctor, patient and worker that he passed.

You really loved that man.

Sans came back in a few minutes after the nurse left, as if he had magic powers to tell him. You giggled a little at the thought of Sans having real magic.

"Hey there babe." He greeted you with a kiss on the forehead.

"How much trouble did they get in on the way down?" You asked, partially as a joke, partially because you knew they had to have done something.

"Not much. Well, not much in comparison to what they usually are up to." He chuckled, sleepily resting his head on the edge of the mattress. "Undyne took the elevator to the top floor, then proceeded to race Paps down the emergency staircase to see who was the fastest. Papyrus tripped and got a bloody nose, but a nice nurse patched him up." He chuckled and you resisted the urge to face palm.

"Maybe they shouldn't visit anymore." You mused, running a hand through your slightly greasy hair.

"Aw come on. You can't keep them away." He grinned, but his grin quickly faded. "You can't push your friends away babe… they need you as much as you need them." He said, completely serious.

"I'm not pushing them away." You said, slightly defensive. "I just… don't want them to see me this way. I can't shower, I can barely use the bathroom. The slightest movement causes me pain. I don't want them seeing me this weak." You finished, your voice as weak as you thought yourself to be.

"Don't think that way." He said, taking your hand gently. "No one is going to think you're weak. Honestly? I couldn't believe how impossible strong you were being earlier. Dealing with our friends, everyone moving and jostling you. It must have been excruciating, but you didn't cry out once. You didn't show any pain at all." He stroked your hair lovingly, and you felt more at home in that hospital bed than you ever had before.

"Welcome home!" A collective voice cheered. Your apartment was filled to the gills with your friends and family. Your parents were in the kitchen, chatting with Alphys about her future plans. Papyrus was by the table, making sure all the food was displayed in the most welcoming way. A large banner was hung across the wall, and you could see each person's donation to the project. Alphys' hand writing, Undyne and Papyrus' drawings. Toriel's ability to make anything look like it belonged in a better homes and garden magazine with flowers and lace. Even Mettaton pitched in, pink glitter falling onto the carpet like rain.

"Guys…" You started tearing up. You had expected maybe a meal with Sans and a movie before going to bed early. It had never even crossed your mind that your friends would throw you a welcome home party.

"It's about time you got out! I found this new game, and Alph is crap at fighting games!" Undyne crowed, slamming her fist into her open palm. "I need a real opponent!"

"Chill Undyne. She just got home and probably wants a few days to get back in the swing of things." Sans interrupted. You shot him a grateful look before turning to Undyne.

"I'll play later, alright. Why don't you tell me about it in the meantime?" You said, trying to appease the overly energetic woman. She grinned so wide you through her cheeks were going to split before she burst into a rapid conversation.

You didn't hear most of the things she was saying, but you could see she just appreciated that you were willing to listen as best as you could.

"Big sister!" Papyrus called, drawing you away from the taller woman. You moved over to the boy, who had a plate filled with different foods. "I know the hospitals do not feed one well, so I made sure to make all of your favorites! Please, eat as much as you can!" He said, shoving the plate into your hands.

He was right, it was all of your favorites. You gladly dug in, making sure to tell Pap how amazing each item on the plate was. With each compliment, Papyrus seemed to puff his chest more and more. You really were fond of that boy, you thought with a smile.

You didn't realize how much you missed feeling 'normal'. No one mentioned your cancer, or your stay in the hospital, or how much weight you've dropped. They only joked about how Sans' needed a haircut and how Undyne thought she could eat all the taco dip and not get sick.

She did get sick.

By the time everyone left, you had almost forgotten you were sick at all. It wasn't until Sans handed you the antibiotics the doctors prescribed to keep you from getting even sicker. He gave you an apologetic smile as he handed you a glass of water to go with it.

"You did great today babe." He said, kissing you gently on the temple.

"I didn't do anything." You said with a faint smile. Sans just pulled you closer and rested his forehead on yours. You could smell the beer and taco dip on his breath, but it wasn't gross. It was just Sans.

"You did everything. Five minutes after leaving the hospital and you were a perfect host. You gotta learn to let us take care of you every once in a while." He said teasingly.

"But if you take care of me, who's going to take care of you?" You asked, just as teasingly. Sans chuckled in his signature sleepy way and leaned on you.

"You. We work together. That's why we have such a perfect relationship." He wrapped his arms around you and abruptly lifted you off your feet. You gave an elated giggle and he spun around once. "Now, let's go to bed. I'm pooped."

Sans carried you to the bedroom and placed you gently on the mattress. As he was getting in the other side, you pulled him in for a kiss. He blinked sleepily, rubbing his head.

"What was that for?" He asked, not upset in the slightest.

"A thanks. For staying with me. I don't know where I would be if you weren't with me during this." You stopped yourself. "Well, I do know where I would be…" You trailed off, the thought of your suicide attempt making your heart skip a beat.

Sans wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him. He rested his chin on your shoulder and sighed.

"Don't think about that. I'm here, and you're here. That's all we need to focus on." He snuggled his face into your shoulder more and sighed heavily. Within seconds, he was fast asleep.

You smiled as you felt his warm breath against your neck. Despite everything you've been through – despite everything you're going to go through – he was still here, by your side. He really was your anchor.

You settled back into him, letting his heart beat lull you to sleep.

You could fight this, and win. You were a survivor.

A warrior. And Sans was going to be by your side the whole time.

Alright! I did promise you a quality chapter with some real plot, and I actually did it?

This was based off the experiences of a lovely reader, and I just wanted to give a shoutout to them! Thank you so much for letting me use your story!

I hope everyone has a good holiday, even if you don't really celebrate Easter. Eat a choco bunny head and smile cuz it's finally spring!

Also, I wanted to say thank (again ^-^') to everyone who sent me reassurances about my updating schedule. I try to remember that it's my story and that I'm not obligated and blah, blah, blah. But I can't help but think about those who message me saying how my story helps them cope and stay clean and believe that maybe there can be a tomorrow. Those are the people I think about when I don't update when I say I'm going to… and I'm sorry to everyone who uses this as an escape. I'm awful when it comes to updating, I know. I'm sure there are others authors out there that are better than be and can update at a consistent rate…

Anyway! Thanks everyone, for your support with just about everything :)

Until next time!

~Starlight