Naruto watched as the ninja turtles kidnapped Lil Bill. Alice the Great began to weep, buring her face in her ashy hands; Bobby and April both had an apathetic look on their faces.
"Meh, it was bound to happen sooner or later," Bobby said with a devious smirk on his face. At that moment, he resembled Lil Wayne when he was 10 years old. April bitch slapped his face and said, "How dare you say that about our brother?"
Alice the Great smacked both of them and said through her tears, "Both of you shut the fuck up! Those little punks stole my little grand baby!" She continued to sob, but it was cut short by a loud fart from Naruto. All looked at him.
"Dayuuuuum!" hollered Alice. "Yo ass needs some cleaning. How can anyone stand to be around you?"
"Lady," began Sasuke, "I've been around this flatulating dush for many years. You'll get used to it in time." He continued to finger his asshole and announced, "I seriously need to take a shit."
"As do I," Naruto said in a queer tone. "Don't worry, Alice the Great," he added, "I'll find your peanut head grandson." "Oh, thank you, baby," she said and gave Naruto a gangster handshake.
"I'll just stay in here untill you come back." Naruto looked at his Barney watch and said, "The store closes in thirty-six minutes."
"Well," she said, "I guess I'll have to give you my adress and you can return my lil peanut niglet when you find him."
She took at a piece of paper from her saggy cleavage and wrote the adress down. Naruto took it and farted really loud, as secret way of saying, "Good-bye old nigger!"
He left the store and followed Sasuke, who was standing outside of therestroom.
"Dush," Sasuke said frankly, "why are you gonna help that wrinkly old nigga grandma? This would be the first time you did anything good for anyone other than yourself after you helped Sai win that fight against Ton-Ton!"
"Sasuke. Be cool."
Naruto entered the first stall in the restroom and Sasuke to the one at the very end against the wall.
Naruto farted very loudly, causing the people in the stalls next to him to cough, followed by angry complaints. They all left, leaving just Naruto and Sasuke alone. Sasuke farted quietly, and looked at his dick.
He then looked at his flaccid 17 inch penis and started to play with it. It grew to 25 inches, and he wondered what it would feel like if Naruto's smelly ass was around it. He got disgusted and he stopped playing. He strained and a 11 inch turd fell outta his ass with a loud splosh! It was such a loud splash that he got his asshole wet.
Naruto laughed at the splash and farted too, releasing a two inch turd. Soon, they finished shitting and were about to leave the stalls, when all of the sudden, they heard a loud booming noise approach the bathroom.
Naruto looked out the crack in the stall and saw that it was Chouji.
He went past Naruto's stall and walked right next to Sasuke's.
"OH SHIT." Naruto covered his mouth with his hands, realizing what was about to happen.
He sat his 469 lb ass on the toilet so quickly that naruto could feel it shake 11 stalls away.
Sasuke looked down the stall and saw chouji's fat swollen kankles and shuddered under his breath. Chouji pulled down his custom made Hollister jeans and his bikini and started to fart EXTREMELY loudly.
"Oh, my god. Oh, my god," muttered Sasuke, mentally raped for life, trying to picture that fat-ass fuck on the toilet next to him.
"Why does he have to be next to mine? There are 22 other stalls!" Sasuke whispered to himself, looking up at the ceiling, silently pleading to God to let the fat-fuck bust an artery and die on the toilet.
Naruto's asshole got dry from the horrible image and sat there, indian style, on the toilet. Sasuke thought the ordeal was over, but it got worse. MUCH worse.
"Shit, I shouldn't have eaten all those fucking Big Macs and brussel sprouts!" screamed Chouji, sweat rolling down his five chins.
All of the sudden, a wet sloppy noise escaped Chouji's ass; he had diarrhea, and it was going everywhere. He started straining real loudly, piercing Sasuke's sexy ears. Chouji let out another fart, scaring away the little kids who just entered the bathroom. Their shrill screams could be heard across the store as they ran out the door, getting killed by a car in the parking-lot. Sasuke was NOT going to attend their funeral. He'd rather slip and fall in shit.
Chouji pulled out a cheeseburger and started to eat it on the toilet.
"That fat-ass," smirked Sasuke, suddenly craving a some chicken pot pie.
Naruto pulled out his blow gun, got on the floor and shot a tranquilizing dart at Chouji's kankle. Chouji became really relaxed and chill; He felt as if he just smoked a big fat-ass blunt. He eventually stopped farting and shitting, giving them a chance to escape.
They both left their stalls and didn't bother to wash their hands, especially Sasuke, who had been fingering his asshole and jacking off.
Once they were out in the mall, they sat on a bench.
"Sasuke," Naruto said, with almost a little whimper in his voice. "Won't you please come with me?" his voice now quavering.
"Naruto," Sasuke began, "you gotta do this for yourself."
Naruto looked down at the ground sadly, wishing the chicken-ass haired boy would be there for him. Fuck his chicken-ass hair! Naruto's nostrils flared angrily, about to snap at the emo, when Sasuke interupted.
"Besides Naruto, Sakura and I are going to the Olive Garden tonight and go back home and troll on random websites. I'll see you in a little while." With that, Sasuke scratched his saggy nuts and left the mall, leaving Naruto alone.
Naruto couldn't stand to be away from his baby! "Well, if he won't help me, I know someone who will!"
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~Meanwhile, with Little Bill and the turtles~
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Leonardo kept running as fast as he could, swift as lightning, with his three horny brothers behind him. Lil Bill was knocked out with chloroform, so he didn't have any idea of what was going on. But, even IF he was conscious, the little stupid nigga probably wouldn't have a clue what's going on. After all, he WAS a nigga.
"You've really outdone yourself this time, Leo," said Michelangelo, rubbing his hands together as he looked down at their victim. "I love the way his buck teeth shine in the moon-light..."
"I'll say," said Raph, with a satisfied grin on his forest green face. "So when do we get to start fucking this little peanut-head motherfucka?"
"In good time, guys, in good time," Leo stated. "Since I'm the oldest, I get to fuck his lil tight anus first!"
"NO, I WILL!" screamed Donatello, flapping his arms like a Celine Deon pretending to be a flamingo. "After all, my brillant tactics are the reason why our plans achieved beautiful fruition!"
He picked up a lotus flower from no where and picked the petals off, escalating his faggotness to a level that very few could comprehend.
"Okay..." said Leo, a bit word-struck from seeing the odd scene, "I have a decision that will determine the order in which we fuck the fuck outta his pink asshole; we'll play poker, and we'll go in order of who's got the best cards to who's got the worst."
"Fine by me, fearless leader," sneared Raph, "but you should know that I'm the reigning champ in this group."
"Oh, your luck's about to change, you hot headed cunt," said Mike, "cuz it's gonna be me."
His asshole started to get moist.
Leo placed Lil Bill on his bed and they all went to the living room. Mike pulled out a deck of cards and started to deal them.
"Wait!" started Donnie. "We didn't say which game we were gonna play."
"Texas hold 'em," butted in Raph.
"Fine by me," said Leo, with the others agreeing.
Leo dealt the card and set the board; it had the 4 of clubs, the king of spades, 4 of hearts, the 8 and 7 of spades.
Mike got his cards, seeing the Ace of clubs and the 4 of diamonds. Leo got the Ace of spades and the 9 of spades. Raph, the 5 and 6 of diamonds, and Don, the diamond and hearts of king.
Mike's best hand was a three of a kind with the 4's, Leo, an Ace-high flush, Don, a full house, and Raph an 8 high straight.
They showed their cards, with Don with the best, Leo with 2nd, Raph, in 3rd, and mike in 4th.
"Hahaha!" said Raph, "so much for luck! You got dead last."
"At least YOU didn't get first," sneered Mike, silently farting, hoping it will kill Raph.
Donatello took off his clothes and chained Lil Bil to the wall bitched slapped the fuck outta Little Bil until he woke up.
Donatello took off his clothes and Little Bill's clothes and chained Lil Bil to the wall bitched slapped the fuck outta Little Bil until he woke up.
"Hey, what the FUCK are you doing, you green motha fucka?" screamed Little Bill, looking around. When he saw that he was naked and screamed.
He saw Donatello's 1 inch penis and got scared. "Um... why are you naked... AND WHY AM I?" Little Bill said, his anus clenching painfully tight.
"We have been planning to a abduct a child for five months," Donatello explained, "and it turns out that you are our victim. A little buck-toothed, two-toned lipped niglet with a peanut-head. You're just what we've always wanted."
Little Bill futilely tried to escape, but to no avail
"Don't even bother in trying to escape," the turtle said, "you will not leave until we get that tight anus of yours."
Donatello pulled a pair of tweezers from his shell and began to masturbate.
He grew half a centimeter and shoved his dick 84 miles an hour into Lil Bill's mouth.
The buck-toothed nigga started to scream like Rosie O'Donnell at a buffet table.
Donatello smacked the back of nigga's bald-ass head and shouted, "PUT THEM ASHY LIPS TO GOOD USE!"
Little bill sucked Don's small dick, and he moaned like a straight guy inside a girl's vagina.
He sucked Donatello for 23 more seconds then he took it out.
"You know what comes next," Don said to peanut-head nigga. "I'm gonna get that shit hole of yours," Donatello paused, sneeze-farting, "and you WILL enjoy it!"
Don shoved his small dick into Little Bill's tight ass and Little Bill suddenly farted really loud.
Don ignored it and kept sliding in and out until he busted a raisin size nut in Little Bill's ass.
Don twisted Little Bill's nipple and slapped him until he bled.
"I'm through with yo nigga ass," he said.
He tossed Lil Bill's nuts and twisted them until he cried like Oprah when her doughnuts were taken away.
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~Back to Naruto~
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Naruto walked out of the mall, farting loudly and causing people to laugh and point at him. He went to the parking lot and found his vehicle; a gigantic 2005 Ford Excursion.
Naruto got into his giant-ass SUV and put it in reverse. He farted and started to drive home. On his way, he noticed Sai's apartment. He tried to parallel park in between a Saturn Ion and a Ford Focus, but failed miserably, destroying both of them. They all exploded as Naruto dashed to Sai's lawn for cover.
He didn't give a shit that he destroyed the cars. He walked up to Sai's apartment door and twisted the door knob. It wasn't locked.
"Damn, he needs to learn to lock the fuckin' door," Naruto stated to himself. "Someone could come in and still all his turd paintings. Wait, no one wants those... But then again... I sorta do..." He trailed off.
He walked in and saw the gay artist, painting as usual.
He walked in and noticed that he was painting another bowl of turds yet again. He looked at Sai and said, "Why are you painting shit again? Can you not paint ANYTHING else?"
"I have an undeniable obsession of shit," Sai said. "Kind of like you do, Naruto. Do you recall the time we went to that zoo and you broke in the monkey cage and ate all the monkey shit? They had to give you CPR because you ate so much monkey poop."
Sai turned back to his painting, picking up his brush and continued to paint the greasy, oily turds with his $920 paints.
Naruto shook his head and saw a fat white guy on the couch, watching TV and drinking Sunny Delight.
"Sai, who the fuck is this yellow haired motherfucker?" said the guy.
The guy was probably about 28 and looked like he was about 5'7 and weighed 270 pounds, so he was a little chubby. Naruto looked at him and said "Who the hell are you?"
"My name is Ryan. Ryan Snipes. You sure have a shitty hairdo." the guy smirked and let out a very moist fart. Naruto blushed and farted too.
Naruto walked towards Sai, who was adding a bluish tint to the turd painting and said, "Naruto, why are you here again? The last time I was here, you brought some nigga who destroyed my painting. Now you are interrupting my free time with Ryan."
"Where the fuck did you find this fat-ass cunt?" asked Naruto.
"He was standing behind me when I was at Wal-Mart the other day. He asked me if I knew any good brands of condoms, and we started to talk from there. He has such a colorful history. He came all the way from a small town in South Dakota!"
Mr. Snipes stood up, letting his greasy mullet swoosh in the wind.
"He's so charming, too," Sai added. Mr. Snipes farted and belched and fanned it towards Naruto. Sai laughed hysterically, letting his ponytails fly in the air, sorta like Repunzel, except Asian and extremely queer.
Naruto smelled the nasty odour and nearly fainted.
Sai combed his beautiful ponytail and asked the question he's been dying to ask the blonde-haired queer ever since he got there, "Naruto, you came here for...?"
"Oh yes," said Naruto. I was at Victoria's Secret and the most bizarre shit happened!"
"Oh, tell me, I love stories!" Mr. Snipes said, clapping his hands and he queefed.
A big "what the fuck" expression appeared on Naruto's un-godly face and he said, "I saw these niggas and a hot white rapper and these old ladies, and an old black lady with her grandkids, and all of the sudden, these ninjas came and stole one of the grandkids right in front of her!"
"Wait," said Sai, "you saw ninjas? What team were they?"
"None of our kind, they weren't even human. They were turtles!"
"...Turtles?" Sai said with skeptically. "What have you been smoking?"
"I smoked one blunt, but I was not really high. But I'm not joking."
"I don't believe you, Naruto," Sai said.
"I do," said Mr. Snipes, doing a salute to the blonde-haired ninja.
Sai turned around with ninja stealth, his pony-tail swinging and hitting Naruto in the face. Naruto screamed like a little faggot and fell backwards, breaking one of Sai's paintings.
"Damn, you fucking turd-face! You broke ANOTHER painting of mine?" Sai screeched, bouncing around the room like one of those cheap bouncing balls from Wal-Mart.
"Sai, calm down. You can always paint another shitty painting of a bowl of turds anyday... I mean, you have NO life. I don't even know how you met that fat-ass fuck over there," Naruto said, pointing to Mr. Snipes. "Anyway, Sai... I need your help... with these... ninja turtles."
"Who are these... ninja turtles?" Sai asked, playing with his long lucicious pony-tail.
"I know who they are. They are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a group of vigilantes. They live in the sewers since they seldom show their faces."
"Why do you know so much?" questioned Sai."
"...I had a one night stand with Michelangelo, the one with the yellow head band."
Sai shook his head and looked back at Naruto. "Why did they steal a grand-kid for?"
"They were horny and wanted to fuck a little kid."
"I see."
"Yes, you level-headed dush," Naruto said, reaching inside his Hello Kitty wallet, pulling out a picture of Lil Bill smiling all gay-like at the camera. "This is the kid."
Sai nearly doubled over with laughter at Lil Bill's buck-ass teeth and ashy two-toned lips. "That little nigger looks high as hell!"
Naruto glared. "Sai! This is no laughing matter! Sure, the kid is fucking ugly as sin, and his head is shaped like a fucking peanut... and... his sneakers are bigger than the rest of his body... It doesn't matter! We need to rescue him! His family loves him, ya' know?"
"Wait, Naruto. Why are you telling me all of this?"
"I need you to help me, because I want to vindicate my tainted honor," said Naruto, suddenly feeling very smart when he used big words. "I helped you win that battle with Ton-Ton, so I think it should be fair that you help me."
Sai thought for 8 seconds and said, "Alright, I will help. Just tell me what I have to do."
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AN: Hope you enjoyed this masterpeice. I do not own Naruto, Little Bill, or Mr. Snipes.