This chapter is a super important one! I know the title's vague, but that makes it even the more exciting (at least for me). :) I really like this chapter, especially because there are two surprises. One surprise hits you, and before you can collect your thoughts, BAM! the next one hits you! Okay, maybe it's not that intense, but I just want everyone to get really excited for this chapter. :) Please tell me what you think in the comments!
Chapter 14: My First Thank You to the List
I stared down at my smoothie. Something was different about it. In fact, it tasted like there was an added fruit, which definitely shouldn't happen.
"Sam," Carly looked at me curiously, "Is something wrong?"
"Uh, what-" I half paid attention to her question. Looking up at her, the question soaked in, "oh, well, something doesn't taste right. It's like there's an extra fruit in here or something."
"Are you sure you ordered the right smoothie?"
"Of course I ordered the right smoothie, the Guava Greatness is one of my favorites!"
"They're all your favorites. Are you sure you didn't order a different one?"
"Yes, Carls, I'm positive. I remember T-Bo was impatient because instead of ordering, I was trying to figure out how many words rhymed with 'guava.'"
"Well then maybe they did change the reci-"
"Uhhhh!" Carly and I were startled by Freddie's sudden noise since he had been quiet throughout our conversation so far. "What is this?"
"What d'you mean, Freddie?" Carly posed another question.
"I mean, what is this?" He gave his smoothie a dirty and confused look. "It tastes like-"
"Guava?"
"Huh?"
"Guava. Does it taste like guava?"
"Yeah, it kinda does. Wait, how'd you know that, Carly?"
"Because Sam was just complaining that hers doesn't taste like guava." Freddie gave me a questioning look. "You two must have taken each other's smoothies by accident," Carly explained.
"Does yours taste like mangos?"
"Sure does," I confirmed. So that's what it is. Well, it's yummy too.
There was a pause. "Why don't you two just switch, then?"
Both of us hesitated. Carly addressed Freddie, "c'mon, you guys won't die, not that anything would stop Sam from having her smoothie." She looked to me with a happy glint in her eye.
Carly grabbed onto both of our smoothies and slid them past each other across the table.. "There you go, you two, all set." She gave her own smoothie a large sip. But, Freddie and I did not put our heads down and enjoy our smoothies yet. I think Freddie was waiting for me to start, which he probably expected would not take very long, but something was holding me back. I sat there, staring at my smoothie, which I knew I loved, but unable to gulp it all down due to some crazy unknown reason.
By now, Carly was still too, staring awkwardly at our unmoving silent tension. "Oh, whoopsies." She reached both of our drinks, plucking our straws out and switching them. "All better!" She smiled, and I knew she was watching us nervously, hoping that her action would cause us to finally drink our smoothies.
But again, I hesitated. What's wrong? What's stopping me from just finishing this smoothie? I was so confused, and so I continued to sit there, hoping something would change and I could just suck the entire thing down into my stomach.
"Well then, I have to get back to the apartment, lots of homework!" Carly tried again to break the awkwardness. Normally, she finished her homework on Friday night, and studied throughout Saturday and Sunday, so we both knew that, since it was Saturday, she was just making an excuse to get us out of here. "Is anyone coming with me?"
"Uh, I'll go with you." I stuttered.
"Me too," Freddie mumbled, getting up from the table.
As we made our way back to the Shay apartment, the awkwardness gradually subsided.
"Hey kiddos," Spencer called as he walked into his room. I made my way into the kitchen, Freddie plopped on the couch, and Carly stayed where she was, waiting for Spencer to return.
"Where are you off to?" Carly asked when Spencer came back into the room.
"Off to meet Socko, we're going on our annual trip to visit his grandma and go to the ballet."
"But I thought you did that in the spring?"
"I told you last week, Carls, Socko's grandmother changed it. I don't think she even knows what season it is."
"You never told me."
"Oh, I must have forgotten," he picked up his bowtie from the coffee table, struggling to figure it out.
"So you're just going to leave me here, alone? Is there even food in the house?"
"Yep!" I called out from the kitchen. "But there won't be soon."
"Sam!" Carly whined, flailing helplessly. "Fine, Spencer, enjoy your trip."
"Thanks!" Spencer said gleefully, not stopping to ask if she wanted him to stay or at least give her more food. "Sam and Freddie, keep my little sister company while I'm gone. I don't want her getting lonely!" He closed the door and everything went silent.
"Look on the bright side, Carls," I said to my best friend who was standing in the middle of her living room with a disappointed and confused look on her face. "Now we can have a sleepover, like we do every time he goes to the ballet with Socko and his grandmother."
"Yeah, I guess. But you spend the night here all the time."
"But I don't plan to do it all the time."
"Yes you do, you walk in, say 'Carly, I'm staying over because I want to eat your ham and don't want to see my mother,' and then just make yourself right at home!"
"Well sorry to try and make a positive situation out of this."
"No, thank you. I'm sorry; I just wasn't prepared for this. You're right, we can have a sleepover just like always. I'll make popcorn and we can watch random movies. It'll be fun,: she reassured me, but also herself.
There was a furious knock on the door. "Spencer, Spencer!" An angry high-pitched voice was heard through the door. "Spencer," it shrieked again.
Carly wobbled over to the door and opened it, bracing herself for what was going to happen.
A lady rushed through the door, "Where's Spencer?" she demanded.
"He just left, Mrs. Benson." Carly said calmly.
"What do you mean he left?"
"He left, walked out the door, hit the road. Get it?" I approached her, feeling bored and annoyed with her
She answered me with a sharp glare before turning back to Carly. "Well I wanted to let him know that I have been given an emergency call from my Cleaners Club. I'm needed in Colorado by tonight to represent my club at a conference where the newest cleaning product from No More Stain is going to be revealed." This lady has issues. "So, I was hoping that Freddie could stay on your couch for the night."
"Sure, Mrs. Benson," Carly said, realizing that agreeing was the quickest way to get her out of there.
"Thanks," Mrs. Benson uttered. She always had something against Carly, so she wasn't too warm. "Make sure he eats his vegetables, and that he brushes his teeth twice before bed. And don't let him stay up too late-"
"We've got it, Mrs. Benson," I cut her off, and Carly accompanied me to the door to show Mrs. Benson out to the hallway.
Freddie sat there stunned. "So glad I was included in that conversation."
"Oh, get up Benson, now you get to spend the entire night with Carly. That is, until your bedtime comes." Something felt off. As I teased him, I didn't find it so funny. I turned to the fridge and realized my stomach was growling. That probably explains it.
Carly let Freddie and me choose the movie we'd watch, which she later regretted when we started a dispute. Finally, she cut in and chose one herself.
The popcorn beeped and Carly went to get a bowl. She returned and it directly in my lap before placing herself in the space left next to me. The three of us started curled up with a large blanket, popcorn being passed around every now and then (luckily I was in the middle).
By the time the movie finished, we were sprawled out across the couch, the blanket tangled amongst our legs and toes, popcorn kernels scattered messily around us, and the bowl in an unknown location. Each of us had dozed off at some point, only to be woken up by a loud part of the movie, an accidental kick from a friend, or weird dream.
Carly lifted herself up by her arms. "Is anyone awake?" I turned my head so that I could see her outline in the light of the television, which was now playing some random show. She was disheveled from sleep, her hair in a pile around her head and her eyes dark from her confusing sleep pattern.
"Yeah," I mumbled. Freddie grunted his response.
"Awake awake, or just not sleeping?"
"I'm awake awake, but I don't really want to go for a jog or anything right now."
"Cool. Freddie?"
"Same here." All of us were tired, but still didn't want to go to sleep. It's one of those sleepover things.
"Should we do something?" Carly questioned, always trying to be a good host.
"Like what, eat ham? I'm always up for that." I said it, and even though it's the truth, my body still didn't want me to get up.
"I meant play a game or watch a show or something."
"Oh." I was disappointed, but my tired bones were just fine.
"Why don't we play truth or dare?"
"Sounds like fun."
"I'm in," Freddie spoke up again.
"Okay, I'll start. Freddie, truth or dare?" Carly waited for Freddie to respond.
"Truth."
"Ummm… Ugh, I don't know, I don't want you to feel like I'm prying."
"Carls, we're playing truth or dare, just ask the boy a question."
"Fine. Freddie, did you ever tell your mom about Valerie?"
"No. We didn't last long enough for it to matter." He shook his head in reflection. "Okay, um, Sam, truth or dare?"
"Dare." I love dares.
"I dare you not to eat any meat during the rest of this sleepover."
"But Benson, that's not-"
"Nuhuhuh, we're playing truth or dare, you must comply!" Freddie told me victoriously. I looked at him with slight annoyance, but I liked this game, so I moved on.
"Carls, truth or dare?"
"Truth." Carly never chose dare, she's such a scaredy cat.
Our game continued on for a long time, and as each question went by, the questions got more and more personal.
"Sam," Carly started. I had asked for a truth, as I was too exhausted to do any more dares, and was eagerly waiting to hear what came out of her mouth.
"Mmmhmmm?"
"What's your deepest secret?" Carly has been my best friend for so many years, that she knew I told her most of my secrets, there were just some I wasn't so open to sharing. Two secrets were weighing on my mind, but I wasn't ready to release either of them. I can't tell her that Freddie and I kissed, who knows how she'll react. Plus, Freddie and I promised not to tell anyone, and that includes her. But I can't tell her about my list either, I don't want either of them to find out.
"Umm, that's a tough one," I said. I really was struggling to find a secret, just to find a lesser secret than my two deepest ones.
"I'm going to get some lemonade while you think. If you figure it out just yell it to the kitchen."
"Okay, well don't tell anyone," I stated loud enough for Carly to hear, "but I once bought a really big bag at a grocery store just so that I could sneak a ham out in it."
"Sam! You shoplifted?" Carly looked at me in disbelief, but once she realized I stole a ham she calmed down a bit and turned back to the fridge.
"What about your list?" Freddie asked quietly, our exhaustion making him dumb enough to ask and me take a long time to process what he said.
"What was that, Benson?" I shot up into a seated position, suddenly very awake and very nervous.
Realizing what he had said, Freddie eyed me cautiously.
"You know?" Now I wanted a straight up answer, it wasn't the time for beating around the bush.
"Yeah," he mumbled, trying to avoid all eye contact. "I saw it when I went to return your laptop."
I was so thankful we were in dim lighting because he was unable to see the color rise in my cheeks. I wasn't embarrassed that he found out what's on there, since he was there for most of them, but I was embarrassed that he knew I had a list. It's just one of those things you don't want anyone to know.
"Don't you dare tell anyone," I threatened. When he didn't respond a millisecond later I added, "please." It wasn't like me to ask for favors, but the list truly was one of my two biggest secrets, and finding out that Freddie was the only other person who knew both of them made me slightly uncomfortable.
Carly returned with a full glass. She noticed the dead silence, "You two could have continued playing while I was in the kitchen."
I snapped back into reality. "Oh, we did, I asked Freddie what he got for Christmas and he went on about some super boring tech things, so I almost fell asleep."
It was too dark for me to catch Carly's disapproving look, and maybe she was too tired to even make one. Luckily for me, Freddie kept his mouth shut.
We continued our game of truth or dare, and though there was still some tension between Freddie and me, Carly never noticed. My insides felt like they should be boiling with rage and fear. Freddie knew my other deepest secret. What if he told someone? What if someone else found out? But for some reason, I wasn't actually that aggravated. Yeah, I was scared that someone else would find out, but I wasn't as mad as the situation called for. What's going on with me?
"Sam, do you have a crush on anyone right now?" Carly questioned. And then it hit me like a really large heavy butter sock. I have a crush on Freddie. I like Freddie Benson. It felt great and horrible all at once. I was relieved to figure out what had been bothering me, but at the same time, I was so confused. Freddie was my frenemy, I practically hate the kid, so how could I have a crush on the nub? I froze up inside, intensely worried that Carly or Freddie would look at me and figure it out because my facial expression or body language would be screaming "I HAVE A CRUSH ON FREDDIE BENSON!" But luckily it was dark, and no such thing happened.
"Uh, I'm still not ready to date anyone after the Pete incident," I covered up, not completely telling the truth, but also not completely lying. "I do love ham, but Frednub's dare won't let me have any."
My epiphany explained so much, like my paranoia when I was looking at Freddie, and my recent lack of annoyance toward him. I still couldn't figure out why this happened, but I guess I don't get to choose who I like. Unfortunately for me, whoever does, chose Freddie, the king of all nubs.
The rest of the night continued without incident, and it wasn't until around 11 am the next day that we were awoken by Spencer coming in the door, humming loudly to himself.
"Well don't you three look cozy?" He said absentmindedly, causing Freddie and me to spring apart from one another.
"I have to go," I said, getting up off the couch.
"Bye Sam," Carly said, folding my blanket.
"See ya, Puckett," Freddie added.
I walked out of the door silently, still too confused to say much.
Staring at my list, I realized something. It saved me, the list saved me. Now, this may sound like some crazy talk coming from freak who should be in an asylum, but I'm telling the truth. If Freddie found my list, then there's no guarantee no one else would (not that anyone would go in my house and look behind my mirror), but since I only recorded my firsts on the list, my crush on Freddie did not qualify. Sure, I'd still be mortified if anyone discovered that we shared our first kiss, but at least they wouldn't know that I actually… I actually harbored feelings for him.
I tried to deny it myself, but I knew it was all too true, and let the fact stick stubbornly in the forefront of my brain.
I still couldn't believe it, nor did I want to come to terms with it, so I simply got in bed, and fell asleep in the middle of the day, still tired from staying up all night playing truth or dare and pondering my new discovery.
This is indeed a large turning point for My List of Firsts. :D I hope everyone liked it, and I have two requests:
1. Please review. I love reviews all of the time, but this chapter is a really big one, so I would especially love your feedback.
2. Look back through My List of Firsts and try to find your favorite moment when it was hinted at that Sam liked Freddie. It could be a more obvious time, or one of those scenarios you overanalyze but love it all the more for that reason. If you don't want to take the effort to include this in your comment, that's okay, please just tell me what you though of the chapter!
Thanks again! :)