"Umm, this is where you live?"

Naruto wasn't used to being in such a oreo neighborhood; it was basically filled with black people whom acted white. They talked professionally, nor did they use the term "nigga" or "booze." Naruto was amazed, because this was the first time in his life that he met such well-kept African Americans - well, minus their son. Their son was kind of out of hand. He sounded like he came straight out of the hood. To think that they would have enough money to fix the little boy's fucked up teeth. Whenever the peanut headed kid screamed or opened his mouth wide enough, you could see that all of his teeth were several inches apart. It kind of reminded Naruto of Jaws.

"Yeah, faggot. This is my house." Little Bill stated proudly, walking up the ghetto-looking stoop. "You gotta problem, chink?"

"No, you peanut headed peice of shit," Naruto spat. "Plus, your stoop is ghetto as fuck and needs to be re-done. Might I suggest Allen Eastridge? He lives several states away and is a real handy-man. The only down-side to him is that he has the massive shits, sorta similar to me, except 10 times worse. I mean, once I hired him to fix my car, and after he gave it back to me, there was a peice of shit as long as my arm in the back seat. I was scared to touch it at first, because I thought it was a snake."

"My stoop is perfectly fine, you bitch-ass nigga. I don't need to Allen Ostridge or whatever his fucked up name is working on my stoop! Anyways, my parents must be worried about me. Let's go inside and talk to them. Just a heads up, though... My sister isn't pregnant. I mean, I know she has a big belly and looks pregnant but she isn't!"

Naruto rolled his eyes, letting out a small fart before knocking on the door several times. He was totally ready to get rid of this peanut headed nigger that was so annoying - just like all nigger kids. Plus, the little boy reeked of his soiled underwear and collard greens. He wasn't being racist, just honest and observant. Anyway, Naruto hoped he wouldn't fart in front of this African American family, but he knew he most likely would. He has tried Gas-X and Beno and all sorts of stuff, but his gas over-powers every single thing in this universe - even Eminem!

All of the sudden, the door slowly creaked opened, and a woman with lucious Hershey's chocolate skin opened the door. She had some dreads that were wrapped in a scrunchie and she looked down at the yellow haired queer and her son. She jumped up and down with glee and smiled down at her son, relieved to see him. She didn't know what he has been through, nor did she care, she just wanted to get child support from Little Bill's REAL father several states away. Thank god she will be getting more money in the bank to get more bling bling from The Dollar Tree!

Oh my goodness!" she screamed loudly, like the African American woman she was. "You found my sweet peanut-head baby! Oh, after Alice the Great told me what happened, I was about to have a heart attack, but then she told me that a kid with yellow hair that looks like a chicken ass was going to find my baby! By the way, my name is Brenda, and I'm his mother."

All of the sudden, a man whose skin looked like Milk Duds came from behind Brenda with a shocked expression on his face at the sight of Little Bill. He knew the little boy wasn't his son, and didn't care much for the little niglet, but played along for the sake of child support checks.

"Oh my God, you found Lil Bill!" he exclaimed, walking up to Naruto, who just farted, and took the little chocolate boy out from his hands.

After several moments of him hugging the boy with a fake smile on his face, he tossed Little Bill over his shoulder carlessly, continuing to have a fake smile upon his Bon Bon colored face. He ignored the cries from Little Bill behind him, and spoke to Naruto, "It took you a lot of bravery for what you did. We were just about to eat dinner when you rang the door bell, so why don't you come in and join us?"

"Well, um," Naruto said, about to protest to the idea of having dinner with a bunch of black people. But, after all, it was free food, and he wouldn't pass that up. "Thanks, Mr. Glover, I'd love to have dinner with you niggers - I mean neglegant people!" said Naruto, letting out a juicy fart from his queer asshole. Brenda and the man pinched their noses, trying to avoid inhaling the un-godly odor from his unsanitary asshole.

"Damn, kid! Yo' ass stanks!" shrieked Brenda, waving the air in front of her.

"I guess Alice the Great forgot to mention that part," Naruto said, embarassed, letting out yet another juicy fart. Naruto tried squeezing his buttcheeks together to supress the farts, but failed, farting loudly yet again. Naruto cried out in frustration, looking up at the sky, cursing God for giving him such horrible gas. He must have done horrible things in past lives to deserve this curse. The Glovers just continued to stare at the blonde boy, their eyes watering from the smell of his flatulence.

"Well, uh... no sense in standing out her on this hot night," said Mr. Glover, who entered their house. "The food we prepared is about to get cold if we stand here any longer."

Mr. Glover walked to were Little Bill was laying on the floor, still crying because he had a boo-boo on his knee. He was crying about he wanted a Captain Brainstorm band-aid, but Mr. Glover ignored the peanut head kid and slung him over his shoulder. After walking half-way up the stairs, he banged Little Bill's big head against the side of the wall, knocking him unconcious so he'd shut the hell up for a moment. He carried Little Bill up the stairs into his room, when Little Bill woke up and said, "Dad, is that really you?"

"Yes, son, it's me, your nigga daddy." Mr. Glover lied.

"I had the most horrible day, and I am so glad it's over. I was raped by these giant turtles and-"

"Little Bill, why don't you go change your clothes and get ready for dinner? Naruto will be joining us for dinner, and you want to look your best... and please for the love of God, don't wear your big-ass sneakers or the same shirt you wear every single day."

"What? That farting yellow haired cunt?" screamed Little Bill, so loudly in fact, that Naruto downstairs could hear him. But, since Little Bill was a little black kid, he didn't give a damn.

"Little Bill, where in the world did you hear that word? You're only five years old," said his father, wanting to smack his brain out of his big peanut head.

"April told me, and I heard Ms. Murray say it once at school," explained the little kid.

"I'ma whoop your sista's ass for teaching you that word, and I'll be sure to talk to the principal! What the hell is your teacher anyway? Puerto Rican? Portuguese? Or is she just a light-skinned nigga? Gah, I don't know. She confuses me! Her hair looks like Bob Marley did it. She's a bad influence on you, Little Bill. Ever since someone caught her hitting a bong in class, in front of all the students, things have just gone down hill. Perhaps we should switch you to a different teacher and take your fat-ass sister to a fostor home."

"Alright, dad, shut the fuck up!" Little Bill said, rolling his eyes in a typical little nigger boy fashion.

His father glared at the boy for a moment, and promptly turned around and left him in his room to get dressed. Meanwhile, Naruto was standing in the foyer, farting really loudly and not knowing what to do. It was so awkward at being at someone else's house and just standing their awkwardly - especially since it was an African American house-hold. He was scared a possum might run out from under the couch, even though the house looked rather decent, he didn't want to take any chances and sit down on the sofa.

"So, uh... what's for dinner, Mrs. Glover?" asked Naruto somewhat impatiently, passing gas as he said that.

"It'll be a surprise, don't worry," said Brenda, a big smile on her nigger lips. Naruto just nodded, but was still slightly annoyed that this woman was taking so damn long. Mr. Glover had already said the food was cooked, so he hadn't the slightest idea on what Mrs. Glover was doing. He sighed and slumped against the wall, wanting to go home. Just then he heard two older kids arguing; it was Bobby and April, and they came down the stairs arguing about something stupid.

"What's up?" Naruto said, throwing up a gangster sign, earning two confused faces on Bobby and April.

"What the hell was that you just did, hog shit?" shouted April, scratching her dandruff ridden scalp.

"It's a Japanese sign for 'What's up, homie?'," said Naruto. Bobby just simply looked at him and raised an eyebrow. He was the typical black boy that tried to be smart and actually wore glasses but failed horribly at it. He looked like a nerd, however. It did sort of fix his personality. Other than the fact that he had a 50 cent CD. "Why did you save our brother anyway?" he asked. "When we saw you in the store, you two were fighting and arguing and farting and shit. Why would you want to save my peanut head little brother?"

"I had to clear my name, nigga," said Naruto, farting as he answered.

"Ahh, hell nah!" shot out April. "I know you did NOT just call us niggas."

"Oh, um, sorry," apologized Naruto. "The last time I said that, some ugly motherfucka chased after me with a gun."

Foot steps began coming down the stairs and Naruto turned to see that it was Little Bill, wearing his elephant pajamas.

"What's up, fool?" shouted Little Bill, waving at Naruto.

"Uh, hey, Little bill," replied Naruto, who stifled a laugh when he said that name. "Your parents wanted me to stay over for dinner; I can't wait to see what you people eat."

A voice in the kitchen announced "Dinner is ready!" and they all went to the dining room table to eat. Naruto sat down in a chair which was by a window, and his eyes widened when he saw what was on the table. He nearly doubled-over with laughter and it took all of his strength not to burst out into laughter. He pressed a hand over his mouth, farting extremely loud as he strained so terribly hard not to laugh his ass off.

"Don't fart at the dinner table, fool!" shouted April, picking up a fork and a spoon.

All the foods which Naruto heard that were stereotypical for the African American race were all on the table! There was about 3 lbs of spaghetti, 18 fried chicken breasts, okra, collard greens, watermelon, and 4 huge ass pitchers of grape Kool-Aid. Naruto was astonished; he had never seen so much food in his life! How were these people not obese? I mean, April was a tad chubby, but this was Mr. Snipes' size! Naruto giggled lightly to himself before picking up a fork of his own.

"Well, dig in!" said Brenda, looking at Naruto hopefully. "I hope you enjoy our dinner, Mr. Uzumaki."

Naruto gave her the middle finger under the table, and all of them began serving their own plates. Naruto grabbed 3 chicken breasts, a spoonfull of spaghetti, a scoop of collard greens, and a small slice of watermelon. He looked down at his food and farted really loudly. Alice the great started to retch when she heard it, while the others laughed; they were now used to his gas problem, and they didn't mind as much, even though it smelled horrible, and it made them want to barf up their food.

April, who was sitting next to Naruto, was the big eater of the family; she was eating her 7th piece of chicken and her 3rd slice of watermelon. She ate the watermelon and spat the seeds out at little Bill's forehead.

"Aye, watch it, bitch!" screeched Little Bill, who started to wipe off the seeds from his ashy forehead, the watermelon juice sliding down his face.

Alice the Great, slower than a slug stuck in molasses, hadn't even eaten half of her fist chicken breast. It was mostly due to the fact that she had no teeth and since she was an old nigga grandma, she couldn't afford dentures. She munched lightly on the collard greens, savoring each bite of the juicy vegetable as if it was last time she would eat it. If it was, she would cry like Jaleel White when he was beaten and thrown into a trashcan like back in high school.

Brenda ate her spaghetti, and suddenly said, "This spaghetti is missing something... Oh yeah, hot sauce!" she went into the kitchen and got a 4 gallon bottle out and dumped it all over her spaghetti, scaring Naruto a bit. How the hell could she eat that garbage? No wonder Little Bill was so fucked in the head and had buck-ass teeth!

Little Bill barely touched his watermelon or his collard greens, but he enjoyed the chicken. "Mama, may I be excused?" he asked.

"Sure baby, you can go upstairs, and take your yellow haired friend with you."

Naruto was through eating and followed the peanut head up the stairs into his room.

"Follow me, playa," said Little bill friendly, and Naruto felt slightly uneasy as they went into his room. He expected buckets of KFC chicken laying around, as well as empty Kool-Aid cartons all over the place. Little Bill flipped on the light, and to Naruto's amazement, it wasn't so bad at all. There were posters all over the damn place of Captain Brainstorm and one poster of a naked woman spreading herself. Naruto then looked over, and the first thing he saw was an animal cage and he saw a yellow critter in it, running on a small metal wheel.

"What the fuck is that?" hollered Naruto, farting in his anxiety.

"This is my hamster, Elephant," pointed out Little Bill, taking the yellow creature out of the cage and hugging it. Little Bill turned to look at Naruto, smiling widely, his buck teeth very evident. That added with the name of his hamster sent Naruto into a frenzy of laughter.

"Elephant? Are you serious? Elephant?" screamed Naruto hysterically, falling over on the floor farting wildly, poisoning the air in the small room.

The hamster named Elephant gave Naruto the birdie, and turned around, shaking his hamster ass at the blonde boy, letting out a tiny yet moist fart. "Fuck you, bitch!" Elephant squeaked, but Naruto was too busy laughing to notice anything from the little rat-looking creature.

"Motherfucka, why do you keep farting?" said Little Bill, pinching his nose. "Do you need to take a dush?"

"Yeah, I do, actually," confessed Naruto, his laughter slowly quieting down.

"Where's the bathroom?"

"Down the hall on the left," advised Little Bill, "But I wouldn't-" He was cut off by Naruto, who slammed the door in Little Bill's face, way too eagar to go to the bathroom. "Go in there," the kid finished.

Naruto didn't give a fuck what that kid was gonna say; he had to shit BADLY. He twisted the bathroom door and opened it.

"Oh shit, I gotta take a dush!" he yelled loudly, knowing everyone in the house probably heard him, but he could care less. Everyone had to dush, right? He sat down quickly on the toilet.

He released a thunderous fart from his tight ass, making the water in the bowl shake. He looked down at his penis again, and started to play with it yet again. He began to use a toothbrush to masturbate and said "I'm so fucking little. 10 inches is sooo not big." He got quiet after announcing this and heard faint breathing. It was coming from inside the bathroom.

Naruto looked towards the bathtub, which had a Captain Brainstorm shower curtain concealing it from view. Naruto, nervous to find out who or what was behind there, slid the curtain and saw that it was... Neji! Why did it have to be Neji of all people? Him and Sasuke were close friends, and he'd most likely tell Sasuke of his true penis size! It would scar him for life and everyone in Konoha would know!

"Holy fucking shit!" screamed Naruto, falling off of the toilet, letting out a huge fart that produced a 7 inch turd, which splattered on the linoleum. The turd stood and up, and darted out the bathroom and down the hallway to God knows where. Naruto blinked for a second, then turned to Neji, forgetting about his turd comming to life.

"Neji? Is that you? Why the fuck are you here at the Glover's house?"

"Yes, it is me, Naruto," pointed out Neji, looking at yellow haired queer with his freakish eyes. "And why the fuck are you here in the bathroom? Can't you see I'm taking a fucking bath, you peice of shit? I feel so violated!" Neji put bubbles over his breasts, even though they were very small, and hid his nipples from Naruto's view.

"Neji, I came here because I rescued Little Bill, the ugly as sin peanut head nigga, and they invited me over for dinner. Now I have to take a huge shit, which explains my excessive gas... I mean, more than usual... But, what the hell are YOU doing here?"

"I moved in here the other day," Neji explained, washing his back with a loofah sponge and a bar of Dial soap. His hair made him look like Hinata, his cousin, and Naruto felt himself get a hard-on but mentally slapped himself. He knew Neji had a dark and unpleasant asshole. Neji seriously needed to bleach his ass. "I fell in love... with April. She is so magnificent, and so beautiful and gracious. I truly love her with every thing I have-"

"Where the fuck did you meet that fat-ass bitch?" asked Naruto. "I thought you were gay! I mean, who the hell is straight and has long-ass hair like yours? Ya' know what, I have no words. I'm speechless. I thought you liked TenTen!"

"I met her at work," answered Neji, who began scrubbing his nutsack in front of Naruto. Even Naruto was a straight-up queer, he almost wanted to gag at the horrible sight. His nuts were dark brown and hairier than Kakashi's back. His nuts bounced up and down and he scrubbed them; they looked like two chocolate Easter eggs.

"Where do you work at?" asked Naruto. "I'm surprised anyone would let you get a job, let alone fill out an application."

"At Victoria's Secret," said the bathing ninja. He turned his view from Naruto and looked towards the faucet where a rubber ducky was lying. He picked it up and squeezed it 8 times, letting it make a queer squeaking noise, which pleased the ninja greatly. He giggled like a queer and jumped up and down, his saggy nuts bouncing with him as well. He turned to Naruto and simply smiled, "I work as the cashier in the back of the store where they sell the good stuff, and she just randomly walked over to me and started flirting with me."

"Isn't it cute?" asked Neji, pointing to the rubber duck. "I call Michael. Michael the rubber ducky!" He squeezed the duck again, annoying Naruto.

"I can't believe that you are straight, let alone fall in love with a chocolate girl!"

"I am bi-sexual, but I am hoping that being with her, I can fully change my status as straight," corrected Neji, watching Naruto stand up and squat down on the floor, laying a big-ass turd so the Glover's could remember him by that. Naruto groaned and strained as the 62 foot turd slid out his ass all at once. Naruto sighed, relieved.

"If memory serves me right," began Naruto, thinking quite hard, "Didn't you also fall in love with Rock Lee and claimed that he was your true love?"

"Michael the rubber ducky says no," said Neji, giggling once again, covering his small breasts with his long hair. He then leaned closer to the blonde, squeaking the duck right in Naruto's ear.

"What the fuck?" screamed Naruto. "Ducks can't talk, and you know that this relationship with that chubby girl won't last long! She will steal all your money, and probably steal your boobm box and pawn that shit for two joints! Also, you'll be bouncing on someone's dick and you know that, you peice of shit!"

"Michael the rubber ducky says you shouldn't make false accusations such as that, Naruto," roared Neji.

"Michael the rubber ducky needs to shut his motherfucking mouth before I fucking cram another ducky down his throat!" bellowed Naruto, letting out a tiny fart.

"You wouldn't dare do that, Naruto; you're such a chicken shit, lost in this world with no one to love. Hell, I think you are the ugliest mother fucker in Japan!"

"How dare you say that!" shouted Naruto, highly offended by the queer-looking dude's comments. He had enough of his bullshit. He got up and bitch slapped Neji right in his ugly face. Neji screamed like a little girl and fell backwards in the tub, his face going under the water, whilist Michael the rubber ducky flew in the air. Naruto took this as a chance, and stole Micheal, grinning deviously.

The long haired shinobi sat up, gasping for air, his long hair wet and matted. He then leaned against the side of the bathtub, unconscious. Naruto felt that Neji could fall over and drown; even though he was Naruto's enemy, he would rather have the satisfaction of killing him in person. He took him out of the tub and laid him on the floor. Naruto stared at Neji's little three inch asian penis and put shaving cream on his pubic hairs.

"Once that girl knows you shave your pubes like a fag, she'll dump your ass!" Naruto evily chuckled. He squatted down, his ass facing Neji's face. He strained once again, letting a huge turd land on his face with a loud thud. He giggled as he turned around, looking at the heaping turd on Neji's solemn face. He knew once Neji was discovered with shaving cream on his pubic hairs and a turd on his face, he'd get dumped by April for sure! He grinned with satisfactory as he left the bathroom and went down the stairs.

"I greatly appreciate the good ghetto food," he said to the Glovers, "but I need to head home. Bye, niggers! Um, I mean..."

He couldn't find an excuse this time, and just decided to get the fuck out of there. He quickly ran out of the house and into the street, hoping to find a cab to take him home, when all the sudden, he was caught in the headlights of a car that was quickly approaching him!

"Oh shit!" shrieked Naruto, knowing that he could die right here.

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AN: I'm not racist, for I am black myself. Laugh at yourself, people. Geez. I do not own Naruto nor Little Bill.