Swelter

by Gryphon117

(Post-Leliel, Pre-Bardiel) A scorching sun looms over the city of Tokyo-3, disturbing the bleak daily routine of Asuka Langley-Sohryu with unwelcome changes. Or are they?

2. Chapter 2

"And here we are!" Misato proudly announces, looking towards the inn she's driven us to with barely contained anticipation. "It was a bit of a long drive from the city, but I'd say it was worth it! Don't you think so, Shin-chan?"

Misato's enthusiasm is met with only silence, and the reason why should be clear to anyone who paid attention to the second half of her sentence.

"...Shin-chan?" Anyone except Misato Katsuragi herself, it seems. "You okay?"

"Sorry, Misato-san," Shinji tries (and fails) to smile reassuringly, holding on to the roof of the car for support. "Can you give me a minute?"

And I'd normally laugh at seeing Shinji, the superior EVA Pilot, feeling car sick, but it's not like I'm doing any better. None of us are.

Truly a testament to the rollercoaster ride that Misato Katsuragi calls driving.

"Pff, what drama queens. I kept the handbrake turns to a minimum, you know?" Misato scoffs at us, smiling mockingly because she's the only one that's not holding on to something for support. "Besides, daylight's burning! We've only got until tomorrow morning to relax and have fun, who's got time to waste on the road?"

"I don't know. Maybe the normal people?" I shoot back with as much sarcasm as I can put into my voice. "Those who like to get to wherever they're going intact? I know I do."

"I see full sets of limbs on all of you, Miss Granny Driver." Katsuragi rolls her eyes, moving over to the trunk of her car so she can bring out our belongings. "You want to fear for your lives? Let Kaji grab hold of the steering wheel, I dare you."

Yeah, right. I've never had Kaji drive me anywhere, but I find that claim incredibly hard to swallow, you mad street racer. If there really was a more dangerous driver than you out there, the military would be policing the roads of Tokyo-3 24/7! Hell, I'm surprised that they don't do it for you. Must be a perk of being NERV's Operations Director, or something.

But that's enough of that. It's not like Misato's going to listen to our complaints, after all. Better let her get going with unloading our stuff from the car.

Instead, I turn my attention towards the sun, feeling confident enough in my balance to stand on my feet and glare briefly at the bright star. The same star that's kept the heat wave that brought me down a while ago going all week. Even now, the sun's completely alone up there, mercilessly roasting anyone unlucky enough to be caught under it, and without the respite of any clouds whatsoever as far as the eye can see.

It does at least give me an excuse to wear my favourite sundress today, which makes being out in this damnable heat almost bearable. I've only worn it a couple of times since the Over the Rainbow now that I think about it, and on those times I went out with Kaji.

Too bad he couldn't make it today. I... sort of wanted to have a talk with him, about stuff I don't feel comfortable at all discussing with Misato. Stuff involving smooth-talking and hand holding and a certain idiot with the ability to drive me mad in more than one sense of the word!

But nooo, Fate obviously won't allow me to receive any help, because where would the fun in that be? Instead, and to make matters even more hilarious for whatever sick powers-that-be that get a kick out of screwing my life over, I'm stuck sharing this trip with her of all people.

And yeah, at this point, I do honestly believe that there's some sort of being out there who's having way too much fun at my expense. That's about the only way I can reason the First suddenly deciding that she wanted to spice her bore of a life a bit and come to the hot springs with us, and wearing what she's wearing, no less!

I didn't even know Wondergirl had dresses, after all. I figured she was on the habit of making do with school uniforms for everything, just like Shinji, but apparently not. Sure, it's just a simple plain white thing that's as boring and uninteresting as she is, but I guess I can give her a C for effort.

...

Damn doll fills it up annoyingly well, too.

As I'm looking at her, Ayanami puts on a white sunhat to complete her ensemble and our eyes meet for the briefest of moments. But what has me blinking in surprise shortly after isn't the visual proof that the First could look awfully good if she ever put her mind to it but, rather, the speed at which she ends up breaking our stare down. Because that has to be a... well, a first.

I mean, it's not like I pay enough attention to her in our everyday goings-on that our line of sight crosses plenty of times, but whenever it's happened I've always found myself being the one to break off first. For an emotionless robot, she sure can put some mean power behind her looks when she wants to.

...

That time when Shinji was swallowed by the Angel comes to mind, for example. Although that wasn't my finest hour, I'll admit.

In any case, I want to say that with the way Ayanami acted she looked almost... ashamed, somehow? But then my brain remembers that this is the First we're talking about and quickly files away my delusions somewhere they won't be dug up again. I've got enough stuff on my plate already without questioning why the Doll could be breaking character, thank you very much.

"I'd say Rei has a good idea going." Misato suddenly makes me jump, coming up from behind and putting another sunhat on me. "You don't want the sun getting to you again, kiddo."

I narrow my eyes at the woman (especially when she uses the hat as an excuse to pat my head like a child) but keep my quips to myself and the sunhat where it is. I'd be lying if I said that the thing didn't make a world of difference, after all.

"Thanks."

Besides, I've given Misato a bit of extra work these days, so it's only fair that I let her off the hook with this sort of stuff for a while. Not that she was all that touchy feely with me before, now that I think about it.

...It's not a terrible change of pace, though.

"I'll take those, but I'm just the middle-woman here." Misato smiles, signalling with her head towards the only male in our group. "Shin-chan's the one who brought it for you, so make sure to let him know too, eh?"

I follow Misato's indication to find Shinji getting our stuff out of the car's trunk and the First looking on almost curiously from the side, as if she'd never seen anyone do something so menial before.

But Ayanami's latest quirk gets pushed to the back of my mind when Shinji looks up and notices me staring. Just like that, and as cliché as it may sound, time seems to freeze in place for the both of us, and I find myself unable to tear my eyes away from his.

This has happened infuriatingly often, as of late. And like all those other times I've been caught in this position, I just don't know what I should do. I know that I have to do something, though, and, before long, my body's made my decision for me and I'm nervously waving to Shinji.

Then, as if the spell has been broken, he just smiles and goes back to work.

And that's enough to bring back the memory of his words and a deep blush to my face.

'The Asuka I know wouldn't say that kind of thing.'

'Not that she's not beautiful and amazing and...'

'I don't understand how caring about such a great person could be wrong. So don't say such terrible things about yourself, Asuka.'

I think I remain like that for quite a few seconds before my brain finally reboots itself and a semblance of awareness returns to me. And the first thing I do (obviously) is to pull back my hand as if it had been bitten by a snake.

WHAT. AM. I. DOING?!

Am I trying to mimic one of those airheaded idiots from Hikari's romantic manga, or what?! The kind that seems to lose all motor and cognitive functions when in eyesight of their crush?! This is not me! Shinji put it right when he said that I always charge forward, so why in blazes am I having so much trouble talking to the guy I like when I can face a freaking kaiju without flinching?! It's like I need a goddamn fever and no chance of escape to keep myself from chickening out or something!

This is so goddamn frustrating! I ca-

"Helping him with the luggage might be a good way of getting a conversation going, you know~?"

I barely suppress a squeak as Misato whispers into my ear.

...Well, crap. Guess she wisened up to things now, just what I needed. I wonder if it's because she hasn't been chugging down beer after beer lately?

...

No, it's probably because I pretty much just screamed that fact to anyone that was looking. Hell, I'm pretty sure that even the First was looking at me weird back there! I'm making myself look like such a moron!

...

Sigh. In any case, it looks like I'm going to be stuck with Misato for support for the near future. The same irresponsible, lazy and childish Misato that can't even manage to get her own deal with Kaji straightened out.

...This will go well. I know that I grumbled about not receiving any help earlier, but you're not even trying to be subtle about screwing me over anymore, Fate.

"Such sound advice." I sigh, before throwing the most deadpan look I can muster Misato's way. "Too bad I can tell you offered it because you just got tired of unloading stuff already."

Misato doesn't even try to deny my accusation, not that I ever expected her to. Instead, and as I step forward to follow her advice, she settles for trying to conceal her intentions pretty damn terribly.

So terribly, in fact, that I can't help a parting shot.

"...And that innocent whistling isn't fooling anyone."

-]O[-

"Thank you for helping me with the shopping, Ayanami. We should be done in no time with the two of us."

Ikari-kun smiles as he leads me to a small village near the inn. He has expressed his intentions to prepare a 'hot pot' for our dinner today, and requested that I join him in procuring the necessary ingredients. I saw no reason to decline.

"It isn't a problem." I turn my attention to a young child that's staring intently at me, like many of the villagers have, before. His face colours when he notices me looking back, and he quickly hides away. Most curious. "But I don't understand. Is the food at the inn not adequate?"

"No, it was fine, I enjoyed it a lot. It's just that I felt like doing something special because you're here with us today, and since the staff had no objections..." Ikari-kun trails off, scratching the back of his head. "Besides, I don't think you've tried it?"

"No, I haven't."

"Then I think you'll like it." Ikari-kun smiles, before sighing and speaking in a hushed voice. "And I hope Asuka does, too. Even if it's out of season for it."

I surmise that Ikari-kun didn't intend for me to hear his last words, but I manage to understand them perfectly, nonetheless. They serve to help me understand the suddenness of Ikari-kun's departure, as well.

Pilot Sohryu's erratic behaviour over the last two weeks has visibly reached a peak today, after all, and I have likewise noticed several discrepancies in Ikari-kun's latest interactions with the Second. The main difference appears to be an incapability to hold a standard conversation of the kind they have in the past, as the incident upon our arrival at the inn clearly suggested.

...

Watching that event also caused an unpleasant feeling to develop in my chest. I don't understand why.

...

Nevertheless, it would appear that Ikari-kun seems intent on evading Pilot Sohryu for the moment, and is using dinner as justification for the separation. Such a theory would be understandable, considering that the Second looked close to initiating one of her usual tantrums when we left.

I still don't understand why my presence is required, however, since Ikari-kun has proven adept at multi-tasking in the past. Still, I don't find the request troublesome in the slightest. I suspect that exploring this small village with Ikari-kun will prove more interesting than the massages Pilot Sohryu and Major Katsuragi were going to receive.

...I expect it will also eventually explain why so many of the elderly in this village are smiling in our direction. I fail to see the humour in our errands.

Such questions go unanswered upon our arrival at the village's store, however, and after politely greeting the shopkeeper, Ikari-kun leads us to procuring the ingredients he'll need. We acquire various vegetables, tofu and sauces, but Ikari-kun refrains from adding beef to our purchases, probably remembering my dislike for meat.

I help him in any way I can, as is my current purpose, and it is when I'm bringing some mushrooms to our bag that I notice Ikari-kun staring intently at me, not unlike that boy from before; curious, I decide to question him:

"Is something the matter, Ikari-kun?"

My knowledge of his attention must have caught Ikari-kun by surprise, because he jumps as if jolted and quickly turns his eyes away.

I don't understand why he reacts like that. His stare wasn't unpleasant.

"E-Eh? N-No! It's just..." Ikari-kun's face then colours slightly, further following the boy's reactions step by step. "T-The dress. It really suits you."

His words elicit a reaction from my body, a complete opposite of the feeling that invaded me when I witnessed Pilot Sohryu and Ikari-kun's interactions this morning. It's a pleasant sensation, and one I've felt a few times before.

...

...Are my cheeks heating up as well? Why does this happen when Ikari-kun praises me?

"...Thank you." I respond, quickly refocusing my thoughts. "It's enjoyable to wear, and more comfortable for this weather than my usual clothes."

"I figured." Ikari-kun smiles, further worsening my temperature troubles. "A-And I'm glad you like it! I guess that makes all that embarrassment at the store the other day worth it."

I suspected that Ikari-kun had an ulterior motive behind accompanying me to my apartment back then, other than extending an invitation for this trip and forcing me into acquiring more clothing when he deemed my usual wear unsatisfactory for the occasion. Nevertheless, buying my new dress was an interesting experience.

In any case, I couldn't precisely tell what Ikari-kun's motive actually was, but it seems to coincide with his reasons for inviting me today, as well. After all, and judging by the likeness of his body language, there's been something in his mind during both occasions. In the same manner, however, he seems conflicted about actually speaking his thoughts out loud.

This is disconcerting, but I believe I have enough information to correctly infer the source of his worries now. Perhaps I should offer my assistance, and say that which Ikari-kun won't.

"It would appear that you're concerned about Pilot Sohryu's recent atypical behaviour, Ikari-kun."

Ikari-kun's hand freezes in midair just as he was about to reach for some carrots, and he turns to look at me as if my statement required an impossible leap of logic, or an intellect far greater than my own.

Neither of those are true, but I don't mind it. On the other hand, I suspect that the Second would have found such a reaction offensive. That sort of response is not uncommon for her, however.

"Heh," Ikari-kun eventually chuckles to himself. "First Misato-san and now you, Ayanami. It must be pretty obvious, I guess."

"It was."

I see no reason to be dishonest. Ikari-kun certainly agrees, because he's laughing as he proceeds to fetch the last ingredients he requires for the 'hot pot'.

I like it when Ikari-kun smiles, or laughs. The resulting feeling is enjoyable, and it remains with me until the moment when Ikari-kun hands the ingredients for the store clerk to appraise, and cautiously turns towards me.

"Hey, Ayanami. This may sound like something weird to ask, but could you listen to me for a minute?"

I don't understand why Ikari-kun would feel apprehensive about speaking to me. He has done so many times in the past and I don't think I've ever claimed his efforts to be unpleasant.

"It's not a problem."

Following my response, the store clerk giggles. She's a young woman with brown hair and red glasses, and appears to possess the same strange sense of humour as the elders we met before.

Something about her reaction seems to agitate Ikari-kun, however, if the sudden burst of speed with which he begins to pack the ingredients is any indication. Shortly after, and as we leave, the store clerk smiles at me and mouths the words 'Good luck'.

...

I don't understand the reason why any more than I understand the people in this village.

-]O[-

The view from the overlook Ikari-kun lead us to encompasses mount Asama and the surrounding countryside. The sea of brown, green and black below, as well as the sounds of the winds and faraway animals, fill me with a feeling of calm. It's an enjoyable experience.

The scenery seems to have a similar effect on Ikari-kun. He's still clearly nervous and having trouble putting his thinking into words, but his right hand isn't reflexively opening and closing anymore.

I feel no need to press him. Ikari-kun will speak when he wants to speak.

"Asuka, she..." he eventually starts when he's ready, a few minutes later. "The day she fell sick she said a lot of awful stuff. About me, about you, about Misato, about everyone. From what she said, the way she acted for the last few weeks was all tied to me getting past her in the synch tests and I don't know why, but Asuka was stuck on the idea that if she couldn't hold the highest synch ratio, if she couldn't be the best, no one would value her. I-I think I managed to make her understand that she was wrong about that, but I'm still worried about her."

I see. I do recall the Second going through one of her outbursts on the day she lost the lead, and her feeling clearly bitter towards Ikari-kun. I thought it a mere momentary by-product of her competitive nature, however, and didn't pause to consider her loss of top position as a cause for her continued erratic behaviour.

Honestly, I assumed the Second would have moved past such meaningless labels within a few hours. Clearly, I was wrong.

"Understandable." I agree with Ikari-kun's concerns for unit cohesion. "Pilot Sohryu is a necessary asset in our fight against the Angels."

"I..." Ikari-kun considers my words for a moment, and then slowly shakes his head in the negative. "I don't think it's just because of that, Ayanami. I mean, I would still be worried about her even if we weren't pilots, I think. Same with you."

...

I don't understand the reason for Ikari-kun's worries considering that I can and would be replaced, but his words make me feel... warm. Just like in the store a few minutes ago, it's an enjoyable feeling.

"...I see." I respond, trying not to dwell on the fact that my cheeks are also feeling warmer, once again. "Would you say that Pilot Sohryu's personal worries have been assuaged then, Ikari-kun?"

"Well, like I said, I don't really know." Ikari-kun sighs deeply, tiredly rubbing his temples. "I think so, but Asuka's... she's always been hard to read. Even at the best of times."

"Is that uncertainty the reason why you're avoiding interaction with Pilot Sohryu?"

Ikari-kun's head quickly snaps in my direction, again looking at me as if the theory I presented was beyond my capabilities (and again, I feel no offense at this). He then seems to consider his answer for an extended time before he looks away, scratching his head.

"Ehm, kinda..."

I find Ikari-kun's ambiguous response lacking, but believe that he will elaborate at his own discretion. My confidence is indeed rewarded a few moments later.

I believe I can also spot a distinct colouring of his face as he does. Intriguing.

"I... think that Asuka and I had a moment?"

...

I don't understand what Ikari-kun means by 'having a moment'. I recognize the latter word's use of denoting a specific point in time, but I was unaware of such points in time being something one could actually physically acquire, and much less misplace in the manner his use of the past tense seems to imply.

...

...On the other hand, I believe I may be misinterpreting Ikari-kun's meaning. Regardless, I also presume that asking for an explanation on what appears to be a minor detail will only have him circumvent the topic, so I refrain from doing so.

"It's just that following that nothing's really happened, and I just... don't know what I should say or do, or even what I'm supposed to say or do." Ikari-kun groans. He looks clearly frustrated. "And I think Asuka's the same. I think she's also starting to lose her patience, too, and that's probably not a good sign, either."

Pilot Sohryu's overall lack of composure has indeed proven to be a problem on more than one occasion. It's easy to understand why Ikari-kun would be concerned about such an event, considering the impact it could have in battle.

I find myself incapable of offering any advice on the topic, however. Therefore, I remain silent.

"...Hey, Ayanami." Ikari-kun ultimately speaks up, a note of anxiousness clearly audible in his voice for reasons unknown. "Y-You wouldn't happen to know anything I could do, right?"

"I don't understand." I question, quickly noticing that Ikari-kun's hand has begun to clench once more. "Why would I?"

My interactions with Pilot Sohryu could be described as few and poor, after all. I don't understand Ikari-kun's request, considering that he should have a greater expertise in the matter.

"I- Well... B-Because you're a girl, you know? I thought that girls were more interested in l-love and r-relationships and, you know, s-stuff." Ikari-kun elaborates, his state of agitation growing by the second. "I-I was going to ask Horaki-san, b-but she's been really busy lately, and I don't think t-this is something I can speak about with Misato-san, so..."

This is strange. I don't understand what relation the topic we were discussing could have with interpersonal intimacy.

...

But... does such a question imply that Ikari-kun has a romantic interest in Pilot Sohryu?

...

...Why do I find that idea unlikable?

"I don't have any knowledge of such matters." I promptly respond, but I'm surprised at the sharpness behind my words. The last and only time I used such a tone was when Ikari-kun criticized the Commander, after all. "I'm sorry that I can't be of assistance."

And the deviation in my speech hasn't been missed by Ikari-kun, either. That perception must lead him to misinterpret my intentions, because he swallows audibly and shifts his position slightly further away, as if he was feeling defensive.

I... don't like that.

"I-It's fine, Ayanami, don't worry. This is probably something we have to figure out by ourselves, anyway."

Ikari-kun reassures me as a way of concluding with the topic, but his words end up having the opposite effect of making me feel like I've failed in my momentary purpose, somehow. After all, and as a silence that's not anywhere as enjoyable as the one that followed our arrival sets in place, I surmise that Ikari-kun isn't any closer to an answer to his troubles than before he asked for my assistance.

A situation that I don't find at all agreeable, and one that I'd like to remedy if possible.

"A-Actually, though..." Ikari-kun gives me the chance for that sooner than I'd expected. "Could I ask you for a favour?"

"Yes."

I find myself agreeing before I take the time to think my response through, and I don't understand why. Perhaps I want to prevent Ikari-kun from believing I'm angry at him?

...

But am I feeling resentful towards Ikari-kun? And if so, why? Ikari-kun has done nothing to offend me.

"I already talked to Misato-san about this, and she promised that she would try something on her side." Ikari-kun continues, unknowing of the conflicting thoughts and emotions that are currently assailing me. "And I k-know that Asuka and you don't exactly get along, but I thought that maybe you could... talk to her, too? T-Try to make her understand that she's more than just a pilot for EVA? That... That people care about her?"

...

Ikari-kun is worried. Ikari-kun is worried about the Second, and about her future level of performance. That's a perfectly reasonable cause for concern, considering the circumstances. Whether Ikari-kun has a romantic interest in the Second and whether it is reciprocated or not is irrelevant for my purpose, as is my accepting to aid him in pursuing a relationship with... her.

...

So why is this unpleasant feeling in my chest rising once again? Why do I not want to agree to his request?

"...I will try."

I respond, although the words feel foreign and objectionable and wrong to me.

"Thank you, Ayanami."

And his relieved smile only serves to intensify the tightness within my chest.

...

...Why is this?

-]O[-

"Aaah~! This feels heavenly~!"

Yeah, I've got to agree with Misato there, these hot springs are really hitting all of the spots. It's too bad that our last visit was over so quick, because this place may not quite be spa levels of fancy, but it's pretty darn close for a town in the boonies. Especially the massages, as all the former knots in my back can attest to.

I'd say this place was quite the find, really, so kudos to Misato for that. It also has quite the view on offer from the springs themselves, giving a fairly clear view of some of the countryside, the mountains and the volc-

...

...Crap. And now I'm thinking of Mount Asama and a certain idiot again. And here I'd been managing to do such a good job of keeping him and his half-assed courting out of my mind all afternoon, too.

...All that time that the idiot has gone off to spend with the First, for some inscrutable reason. I bet that they're off laughing and having fun around town right now, with the Doll doing her damn best to seduce Shinji using that stupid form-fitting dress she produced from out of nowhere, the underhanded skank.

But the funny thing is that I'd be lying if I said that the First's the one I'm mad at, right now. Oh, no, no, no! That honour is reserved for the boon of Mankind himself, Slayer of Angels and Master of the Thousand Honeyed Words, Invincible Shinji himself!

Because I mean, seriously? After all of that corny stuff he said to me a few days ago, he goes and jumps at the chance to go on a date with the fist girl that crosses his field of vision? Goddammit, the guy moves so quickly that I'm going to need to change his title from 'Stupid Shinji' to 'Shinji the Casanova', at this rate.

...

If only he could use some those Romeo airs of his to advance the relationship he should be advancing, I wouldn't be here, thinking of the best way to get to his heart.

From the outside. And as messily as humanly possible.

"I recognize that expression! Am I guessing right if I say that Shin-chan should be chain sneezing right about now?"

Misato's voice breaks me out of my thoughts, and I level a warning glare in her direction. I'm so not in the mood for her sorry excuse of a sense of humour.

It doesn't seem like she's getting the memo, though.

"What? Am I not allowed to be annoyed?"

"Of course you are! I mean, you'd probably explode or something if you weren't." Why doesn't this woman ever let go of the chance to be irritating? "I'm just wondering why you're so upset, is all. I'd expect that if anyone should feel annoyed, it would be Shinji, considering how unfair you're being."

I find myself blinking in surprise for a second, trying to bring my head around what Misato just said. My confusion quickly leaves way to indignation, however.

"And how am I not being fair?!" I protest. "It's not like what he's supposed to do is that hard, dammit! He only needs to show a minimal amount of that spine he pulls out from out of nowhere when piloting EVA and ask!"

"And why don't you do it yourself, if it's that simple?" Misato counters, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Aren't you a fearless EVA Pilot, too?"

"Well that's because-...!"

I stop myself before I blurt out the first thing that crosses my brain, and take a short moment to contemplate Misato's mocking comment as if it was a serious question: just why am I having so much trouble with going up to Shinji and demanding a straight answer out of him?

Is it just because I hate the fact that I can't be within twenty metres of him without getting tongue-tied and making myself look like a moron, lately? Because I don't want to make myself look weak by being the one that tries to break the stalemate?

...

...Or because I'm terrified of the actual possibility that he'll say no?

"B-Because it's the guy's job to ask, obviously!"

I accidentally finish the moment that last thought comes to my mind, feeling as if an ice cold hand had suddenly coiled tightly around my heart.

"Funny, I never pegged you for a girl with that sort of backwards thinking, Asuka-chan." Misato scoffs, watching me with interest. And I kick myself for managing to say something so damn stupid, even if I didn't mean to. "That sounds more like one big, fat excuse to me, really."

"Think whatever you want," I deflect, because I'm sure as hell not going to share my latest insight with Misato, of all people. "But more importantly, are you actually planning on helping out at some point, or are you going to spend all of your time laughing at me?"

"Wow, that's a tough one! Let me think..." Misato brings a finger to her lips and makes a show out of debating the two options, just to irritate me even further. I hate it when she does this. "Oh, I know! I think I'll go with a bit of column A, and a bit of column B. How's that sound?"

"Terrible."

And I guess I should've seen that one coming. Two can play that game, though.

"Then again, I never expected anything approaching support from someone who can't even keep her own love life in check."

"Ouch, rude!" Misato mockingly recoils back, clutching her chest as if she'd been shot. "Buuut I guess I had that one coming."

Misato then breaks down chuckling at our exchange, and it's not long before I join her. It's silly, it's senseless, and I probably would have turned up my nose at acting like this not that long ago but when all is said and done it's also... fun. And just like that, all of the introspective tension that had been building within me evaporates as if it had never been there, and the two of us are casually talking about clothes, about friends, about whatever crosses our minds at that specific time. The topic isn't nearly as important as the simple act of talking, weirdly enough.

...

And it's with that realisation that I notice exactly how much actual talking I've been doing today. I mean, it's not like I'm usually First levels of quiet or anything, but it is true that I haven't been my outgoing self ever since Stupid Shinji beat my synch score.

I guess that's been fixed by spending an entire day with Misato, though. She's been stuck to me like glue for some reason, after all, but I have to admit that except for those times when she's been in Insufferable Joker mode (a lot too many, if you ask me), it's been enjoyable having her keep me company while we talk about nothing and everything.

It's hard to put into words, but it's like there was some sort of connection with her that was missing before, and that's being slowly fixed as we speak, somehow. I mean, I don't think I've spoken this openly to Misato in like... well, ever.

...

Okay, maybe not ever, but definitely a very long time. 'Years' kind of long sounds about right all things considered, since that's around the time when she was my guardian back in Germany.

"Okay," Misato breaks through my thoughts for the second time, and I don't fail to notice a faint hint of seriousness to her voice. "Sorry to ruin the moment, Asuka, but there's something I've been meaning to talk about for a while now."

That's unexpected. Misato taking anything seriously outside of her job at NERV is about as common as seeing the First do anything remotely human-like.

"Huh? What is it?"

Misato takes a few seconds to contemplate her words, and I find myself growing more and more curious as she does. This situation here's really as un-Misato as it gets, after all.

"Well... it's about something Shin-"

"Good evening."

A third voice cuts into our conversation, and the both of us quickly turn around to see the First entering the springs, clad in a towel of her own. Needless to say, my mood takes a dive the moment I lay eyes on her.

"Oh, hey, Rei-chan!" Misato quickly reacts and brings her wrist up to take a look at her watch, before smiling evilly. "Uh, is it that late, already? Did Shin-chan and you have fun touring the town~?"

Oh, screw you, Katsuragi! You're not even trying to hide your attempts at making me feel jealous!

...

...And you're actually pulling it off, too, annoyingly enough.

"It was enjoyable." The First answers in less than five words, just like she always does. She then turns towards Misato. "Ikari-kun asked to see you, Major."

"He... did?" Misato blinks, perplexed at what the First just mentioned. "Did he say if it was important?"

"It is most important, Major."

"...Weird."

Yeah, I agree. It's not like Shinji to go around demanding stuff.

"Oh, well. I'm going to miss the hot springs buuut... better safe than sorry, I guess." Misato stands (more than a bit grudgingly, I'd say) and wraps her towel around her, before winking in my direction. "We'll speak later, Asuka."

"Sure, see you later."

I quietly follow Misato with my eyes as she walks to the spring's exit, all the way silently pondering what could be so important for Shinji to actually bother someone. He must have found The Answer to Life or something along those lines, at the very least.

Well, whatever. If it's important, Misato will let me know, I guess. I'm more interested in whatever it was that she wanted to tell me before the First appeared, anyway.

And speaking of which...

"Congratulations on your 'enjoyable' little date, First."

The First looks briefly my way but offers no response to my taunt, not that I really expected her to. Instead, she discards her towel on the tiled floor without a care and makes to move into the spring's proper...

...Before she yanks her foot out with a startled yelp the moment it touches the water.

"What is it, Wondergirl?" I can't stop myself from jeering. "Can't handle the heat?"

"...The water's really hot."

The First blinks my way as she says that, and then turns to look at the hot spring as if it was some sort of inscrutable puzzle.

"Well, duh. And here I thought that the steam would be a dead giveaway." And just why does she look so darn confused, anyway? I seriously don't get her. "Besides, it's right there in the title, you know? Hot Springs, as in not cold? Sound familiar?"

"I am familiar with the concept of a hot spring, Pilot Sohryu." Her response goes back to being terse, as usual, and if she were capable of showing any emotion, I'd say that it would also imply indignation. "The heat just exceeded my expectations. That's all."

Almost as if to prove her point, Wondergirl follows her words by walking resolutely into the hot spring a second time, this time more successfully. She makes her way past me and towards a seat, and hesitates for a second or two before lowering herself into the water two metres or so away from me.

And then she just sits there and stares, silently and intently. I guess that she's going for one of her creepy usual stare downs that can be a bit of trouble to counter, but the effect of today's attempt is fairly diminished by how clearly uncomfortable the First is in this place. You've just got to look at how hard she's sweating after barely a minute in the soak, really.

Obviously, I seize the advantage and confidently stare back at her every bit as intensely but, despite her handicap, the First manages to hold up her side of the contest annoyingly well. So well, in fact, that it's not long before I'm starting to grow bored of our match, what with her not doing much of anything aside from making me feel awkward, too.

"...What is it, Wondergirl?"

"Do you have a romantic interest in Ikari-kun?"

...

...

I'm pretty sure that the First didn't just gloat or spew more of her usual toilet philosophy, but did she...

"Wha...?"

Did she just... No way. I must have heard her wro-

"Do you have a romantic interest in Ikari-kun, Second Child?"

...Okay. I didn't hear her wrong.

Time to panic.

"T-THE HELL?!"

Before I know it, I've stood up so quickly that I almost end up falling back down into the water, with the errant droplets that my thrashing causes splashing onto Ayanami.

"W-W-W-What are you talking about, you idiot?!"

Wondergirl pokes her head out of the barrier she instinctively made with her arms, and blinks at the inquisitive finger that's pointing towards her forehead. As a side note, her confused look would have been hilarious to immortalize if I didn't have greater things to worry about.

Greater things like figuring out what's up with this weirdo today.

"I am not an idiot." The First frowns, her momentary bafflement leaving way to annoyance. "And I believe my question was perfectly clear. Nevertheless, I will repeat it once more: do you have a romantic interest in Ikari-kun, Second Child?"

"I-... I don't-... I mean-..." Crap, I'm stuttering something fierce. This really isn't what I was thinking I'd get out of confronting Wondergirl. "A-And what the hell is it to you?!"

"It is very important to me. The specifics of my current purpose depend on your answer."

Well, that was clarifying. Not.

Then again, that's pretty much par for the course as far as the First's concerned.

"'Current purpose'? W-What are you going on abo-"

...

Wait a minute, it depends on my answer? And the First is looking as serious as I've ever seen her, too, so...

...

...Of course, that's got to be it!

"Oh, I get it! You're just jealous!" I put everything I have into my counter, rallying behind the opening I've managed to figure out. "Your crap attempts at seduction didn't work because Shinji's as dense as a rock, and now you're trying to find out how far ahead I am in order to step up your game!"

Ayanami's frown deepens as I aim my finger at her again. She can obviously tell that she's in trouble now that I know what's up.

"...I don't understand your meaning. Why would I-"

"Don't even try to play innocent, Wondergirl! You're always making doe eyes at him!" I cut her off, stepping forward until I'm towering over her. "Or are you going to try and tell me that I'm making that up?!"

"Are you implying that I look at Ikari-kun in the same longing manner the two of you stare at each other when you believe no one is looking?"

...

...

...Huh?

"W-W-What?!" I pull back my finger so quickly that any observer could easily think it'd been burnt. "I don't do that!"

"I disagree. You've done so many times already on this day alone, after all," Wondergirl charges on, crushing my hastily erected protests with nary an ounce of mercy to her name. "And disregarding the brief decline in the occurrences prior to and following the attack of the Twelfth Angel, the frequency of the events in which you fixate yourself on Ikari-kun has been on a steady rise ever since your arrival at Tokyo-3, particularly when you seek to relieve your boredom during school lessons."

Slowly, and almost as if someone other than myself was guiding my body, I settle back down in the warm waters of the hot spring as the First continues to speak. I don't know if my unconscious reaction is born of a need to sit down and make sure I won't fall while my personal secrets are effortlessly revealed right before me, or if I'm just trying to use the hot waters as an excuse for the bright blush that I can already feel all over my face.

What I do know, is that my eyes stare unblinkingly at Wondergirl as I move, and that my face must be worthy of a picture, if the disbelief that's coursing through my mind is anything to go by.

After all, of all the people that could have caught me in the act, it had to be her. Not Hikari, not that moron Suzuhara, not the Otaku, not Misato. It had to be the one person that doesn't give a shit about the world unless ordered to!

When the hell did she pay attention?! She's always looking out of the damn window, for God's sake! Was I that freaking obvious?!

This is so mortifying! There's no way this situation could possibly get any more embarra-

"Furthermore, I've established that your staring seems to escalate whenever we're wearing our plugsuits, Pilot Sohryu. You appear fascinated with Ikari-kun's behind during those times, as a matter of-"

"ARGH! S-STOP! STOP! T-THAT'S ENOUGH! YOU'RE RIGHT! YOU'RE COMPLETELY RIGHT, SO JUST STOP IT!"

...

As the echoes of my voice rebound off the wooden palisades of the hot spring and lose themselves into the distant landscape, I take a moment to appreciate how thankful I am for the fact that there is only a single person sharing this space with me, even if it's Wondergirl.

Actually, because it's Wondergirl. Knowing her, I'm pretty damn sure that she won't babble about this to anyone unless ordered to do so, and I can't really imagine an event in which such a thing would happen. On the other hand, I know that I wouldn't have lived down this situation for a long time if Hikari had happened to be here. Thank God that she had to take care of her little sister.

...

Even then, I'm so embarrassed that I want to hide under my bed and never come out again. But alas, I can't really do that right now, so burying myself behind my arms will have to do.

"...Very well." Ayanami eventually replies, although her voice sounds a bit different for some reason. "I believe I have the answer I requested."

My meltdown must have spooked her, or something. If so, I'd say that she more than deserved it, the damn inquisitor.

Anyway, a long, drawn-out sigh escapes me when Wondergirl agrees. Had she refused, I think that I would have resorted to far more drastic measures of ensuring her silence, because I'm pretty damn sure that there's very little further exposing I can take without going nuts.

"In any case, you seem to be mistaken as to the intention behind Ikari-kun's request for my company, Pilot Sohryu." Wondergirl surprises me by actually responding to the first question I asked her instead of remaining silent like I expected her to, and I allow a small opening in my fleshy fort from which to peek at her. "He merely required assistance with the gathering of ingredients for dinner, and sought my help on a... certain matter."

Oh, right. Shinji did mention something about a hot pot, I think.

That dinner better be worth it after all of this.

"So you... only talked?" Now that I think about it, the idea of Wondergirl putting the moves on Shinji sounds pretty ridiculous and doomed to failure, knowing the both of them, but... "But then... what about the dress?"

"The dress?"

"Yeah, the dress! That pretty thing that you've never worn until now!" And the one thing that still makes zero sense for Wondergirl to have pulled out of nowhere. "Are you going to tell me that you, of all people, dolled up for no reason at all?"

"I'm unfamiliar with the term you use, Pilot Sohryu, but Ikari-kun had me purchase my new apparel when he deemed my everyday wear unsuitable for our outing today."

"Oh. So he... convinced you to buy it, huh? I... guess he helped, too?"

So Stupid Shinji found himself another girl to help while I was sick at the apartment. That'd make sense, knowing him, especially considering that Misato pretty much forbid him from heading straight home from school just so that he wouldn't spend his entire afternoon mothering me.

"Yes. Ikari-kun's assistance and counsel were both very insightful. They're very comfortable, so I look forward to using my new clothes in the future."

It's actually a big relief to know that Wondergirl didn't get her dress as a way of drawing Shinji's attention, and it's not like you can stop Shinji from being subservient to everyone and everything. With the First being... well, the First, I guess that there was going to be little else in ways for the cookie to crumble, looking at the situation.

Funnily enough, I'm actually not even mad. Except for the fact that it had to be with her.

Freaking Casanova, seriously.

...

Heh, I can almost picture him in the store, holding onto a full armful of clothes for Wondergirl and barely managing to hold onto everything as she tries... them... on...

...

...

...Wait, he did WHAT?!

I take back not being mad! I'm so going to give a piece of my mind to that two-timing little-!

"Incidentally, we also spoke at great length about you, Pilot Sohryu."

...Aaand there's my heart, suddenly jumping for joy, the many ways in which I was plotting to punish Shinji being abruptly pushed aside equally as quickly.

"Y-You did?" I blink, allowing the words to sink in. And curiously, hearing that such an exchange happened is exactly what I need to come out of cover and recover a semblance of my usual self. "W-Well, I can imagine your side of the conversation considering how much you hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"W-What?"

And there goes my usual self, once again.

"I don't find your company enjoyable during the many times in which you're much too loud, but that doesn't mean I despise you, Second Child." Wondergirl elaborates, and with the way in which she's looking me straight in the eye, I can tell that she's not making that stuff up. "You're an irreplaceable member of our combat unit, and I value you as such."

...

Ayanami... doesn't hate me?

She values me? She values me as an EVA Pilot, even when I've never managed something as simple as a solo kill? Even when she doesn't have Shinji's or Misato's reasons for putting up with me when I'm not the best?

I...

I don't know what to say to that.

...

An awkward silence settles over the hot springs, and I silently thank Fate again for showing mercy and making arrangements not to have Misato around at this moment in time. I know for a fact that she would've had a field day with committing my reactions to memory, or memory card.

And, to be completely honest, I'm almost expecting the First to suddenly start laughing her ass off and go 'Gotcha!' or something, at this point. And yeah, I know that's about as likely to happen as Shinji growing some balls, but I honestly wouldn't have put enduring this and the previous lines of conversation with Wondergirl of all people any higher up in my list of possible outcomes... and yet here we are.

No matter how much I wish we weren't.

"Why is that so surprising to you?"

Wondergirl has obviously caught on to my perplexity, and her question has a subtext full of actual curiosity.

I don't get why. The reason should be pretty damn obvious, after all.

"Because-" I push out, my voice sounding disgustingly weak to my ears. "Because you said that you didn't want to be friends?"

"Are you referring to your request during our first meeting?" Wondergirl quickly picks up on what I mean, and I, not really trusting myself to do anything else at this point, only nod silently at her question. "I simply found no benefit to such an arrangement, requested for convenience's sake. It would be bereft of purpose."

...

...Wow. Did it... Did it really come across as that? I mean, to be completely honest, it's not like I'd intended it to be a 'best friends forever' thing or anything like that, but when I hear the gist of what I said thrown back at me in Ayanami's usual, clinical way...

The words sound a lot colder, a lot more... callous than I had meant them to. And it's not just due to the hint of steel behind the First's voice.

Yeah, I... guess that, all of her eccentricities aside, it's really no wonder that Wondergirl refused. It's not like I'd have accepted if I'd been in her shoes, after all. What's more, I'd have probably yelled at her for the better part of an hour, just for even proposing such a one-sided thing.

...

What she said does give me something to think about, though. And maybe it's a long shot, but there's no harm in trying, right?

"So... what if it wasn't... you know, 'bereft of purpose'? Would it be... all right, then?" I ask, suddenly feeling very small, and incapable of looking straight at the person in front of me. "I mean... y-you're friends with Shinji, right?"

My words hang in the air, a silence so thick that you could hear a pin drop settling over the hot springs, and I think to myself that I'm getting real good at generating those. I must have a talent for awkwardness, or something.

In any case, the First seems to consider the offer for a few seconds, making me wait with more baited expectations than I'd care to admit. Ultimately, however, she shakes her head, letting out the smallest of sighs.

"That... may not be possible, Second Child."

"Why? Didn't you just say that the only thing stopping you from accepting was a lack of purpose?"

"That was then." Wondergirl replies, her brow creasing in time with her words. "Unfortunately, I'm afraid that recent developments have made it so that any potential future joint activities... would not be as enjoyable as they could have been."

"What... 'developments'?"

"I-"

Ayanami cuts her answer short and looks away, going silent for a few, long seconds and somehow looking like the effect the hot springs were having on her has increased tenfold. Nevertheless, I decide to press her, but I'm about to do so when the First suddenly draws her knees up to her chin and puts her arms around her legs, hiding the lower part of her face from sight.

...

I'm... pretty sure I've never seen her act like this.

...

Wait, is Wondergirl actually feeling embarrassed?

"...I don't know why, but I find the idea of you and Ikari-kun spending time together... unpleasant."

"So you are jealous."

The words come out of my mouth without thinking, and sounding a lot more like an accusation than I would've liked. That was... less than ideal.

"...Jealous?" Thankfully, Wondergirl doesn't seem to take it badly. She looks more confused than anything, really. "I see. Am I feeling 'jealous'? Of you?"

"I... guess?"

I obviously would have wanted my answer to sound more convincing but, in my defence, it's not like I was expecting Wondergirl to question me on what should be a fairly simple feeling to name for most people out there. This girl has the weirdest quirks, I tell you.

"So this tightness within my chest is 'jealousy'?" Ayanami repeats, putting a hand over her chest and looking as if she'd just discovered the most fascinating thing ever. "This feeling when I witness Ikari-kun enjoying himself with you? When he speaks fondly of you, as he did before? I think I understand."

"H-He has? Really?"

My brain instantly latches on to the second half of Wondergirl's statement, with the fantasizing section of it quickly getting to work on putting said 'fond speaking' through a million imaginary and... interesting situations.

After all, there's nothing keeping me from using all of my IQ to do something more productive than breezing through physics problems. However, all of my daydreaming comes to a screeching halt when I eventually notice the First looking at me curiously.

...How much time did I spend in my little world, exactly?

"I-I mean, y-yeah, you're feeling jealous, all right." I cough into my hand, both to get myself back on topic and to hide my cheeks as much as possible. "I'd know, since I've felt that way plenty of times, already."

"You have?" Ayanami inquires, her interest growing further for some reason. "Who were you jealous of, Pilot Sohryu?"

...

...Seriously? Does she really need to ask that question? I mean, how many possibilities even are there?

"Of you, obviously."

"Why?"

"What do you mean, 'why'? Because of what you just said!" I scoff, still finding it hard to believe that I need to go into this much detail. "I hate to see the idiot getting along with you, smiling and stuff. I hate it when he...when he d-doesn't do it for... y-you know, for m-me."

Following my response, Ayanami just keeps on staring, looking at me as if she were some attorney trying to find the smallest of contradictions in a witness, and while I do my best not to falter under the scrutiny, it's a pretty tall order to pull off, really.

Ultimately, however, Wondergirl breaks off and seems to fall into some deep contemplation.

"Oh."

Oh?! Why the heck is that so surprising to you, you weirdo?!

"But I don't understand." The First continues, turning back on me for yet another strange demand. "Why would you feel jealous of me, when Ikari-kun has paid attention to you for a considerably larger fraction of his time?"

...

...Well... I guess he has, hasn't he? When you take a step back and look at things, I've... sort of monopolized Shinji's time outside of NERV, what with him and I living together with Misato and all that.

Wondergirl kinda has a point, there. But still...

"I-I don't know, it's not like it's a logical thing! I guess that's just how people are, or something! Stop asking me these weird questions, already!"

"I see."

Unusually, the First's response has a hint of disappointment to it, which only serves to surprise me further when she appears to show a willingness to drop the topic. I mean, no matter how you slice it, it's fairly obvious that Ayanami would have loved to interrogate me further, but she's apparently not inclined to do so at any cost.

And, for that, I'm silently thankful beyond words to her. There's only so much shame I can endure, and Wondergirl's been steadily pushing my limits. It's because of that that I use the welcome reprieve that follows to get myself back in the zone, so to speak.

Because this is not yet over; I feel like there's something more that should be said, a line in the sand that should be drawn. After all, we've established a lot of new things in the last few minutes alone, and (even if a sizable part of me is against the idea) it's just not in my nature to take advantage of a confused foe.

...

Besides, for whatever reason, Ayanami's gone out of her way to try and cheer me up. Granted, I don't even know if it was intentional (because damn if it isn't hard to tell with her, most of the time), but that's beside the point. I'm not one to owe debts, and getting Wondergirl up to speed on where the chips lie looks like a proper way of evening things out.

As such, I finally manage to pull together enough determination to lower the walls of my fleshy fort, sending the First, my rival, the most resolute look I can muster.

"...Just so you know, Wondergirl," I announce, clearly, loudly, and so that no mistake may be made. "I'm not going to lose."

...

"...I don't understand?"

And I'm not sure what sort of response I was expecting out of her, but confusion wasn't high on the list of outcomes. So much for no mistakes.

Goddammit, First, stop taking the wind out of my sails! That was a cool declaration you just ruined, right there!

"W-What don't you get this time?!"

"What exactly are we competing at?"

"We're... We're competing over who's going to take Shinji, obviously!"

Ayanami blinks, clearly not finding it obvious. And I feel my patience start to vanish.

"...Why would I take Ikari-kun? Even if his superior weight didn't make such an action unadvisable, he's perfectly capable of walking by himself."

I'm... I'm not having this conversation right now, am I? Someone pinch me.

"Because you like Shinji!"

"Of course I like Ikari-kun, his company is enjoyable. But that doesn't answer my-"

"Of course it does! Are you for real?!" I roar, loud enough that the First actually recoils back a bit. "God! And here I thought that no one could be even more clueless than he is!"

...

For the umpteenth time today, silence fills the hot springs, and I marvel once more at how damn good I am at pulling those off. It's such a shame that the Angels aren't into debating the fights away, really, because today's such proof that my kill count would've sky-rocketed if they did.

...

Okay, deep breaths, Asuka. You know that Wondergirl's weird, so let's calm down and do this from the top:

"Listen closely here, First: just as I said, you like Shinji. Or, as you'd put it," I pause, before making the best mocking Ayanami impression I can pull off. "You're 'romantically interested in Ikari-kun'."

"I don't-" Wondergirl stops herself, taking a second to rethink what she was going to say. She then slightly narrows her eyes at me. "I don't speak in such a manner."

"Riiight." I respond to her annoyance with a scoff of my own. I think I've more than earned myself that little snipe by now, thank you very much. "And Misato never drinks herself to sleep."

"Hey, I resent that!"

...

...Oh, hell no!

"M-Misato?!" My head swings towards the entrance of the springs in the blink of an eye, where Misato is now leaning against the door in her casual wear. "H-How long have you been there?!"

"Hmm... How long have I been here, indeed?" Misato wastes no time in falling into her annoying joker self, much to my chagrin. "I guess I'll let you know. At some point."

"Major Katsuragi has been observing us from a distance for two minutes and fifty seconds, now."

"W-What?!" I turn back towards Ayanami so fast that I feel my neck pop, not even bothering to question the odd precision of her answer in the face of something far more important. "You saw her?! And you didn't say anything?!"

"...Why would I?" Wondergirl shoots back, perplexed. "The Major's presence isn't bothersome."

"...For- For you, maybe."

"Harsh, Asuka. I wasn't eavesdropping or anything, you know?" Misato reassures me, which isn't reassuring at all. "I just came to tell you two that dinner's ready, but since it looked like I'd have interrupted something..." Misato trails off meaningfully, her smile becoming wider by the second. "By the way, am I interrupting something?"

Like I'd tell you!

"Of course not! Go awa-"

"Negative, Major. Pilot Sohryu was merely informing me of the nature of my romantic feelings for Ikari-kun."

...

...

This... This isn't happening. This is just a bad dream in which I've had the weirdest of conversations with Ayanami, and it's in no way whatsoever a reality in which said idiotic person just blurted any girl's deepest secret to Misato Katsuragi of all people like it was nothing! And put me in the spot by association!

Therefore, and because such a chain of events is clearly impossible, I'm going to pinch myself. And I'm going to wake up in my bed, and I'm going to grab Shinji, and I'm going to kiss him so hard he'll faint from lack of oxygen, because this ludicrous lucid dream is clearly my brain telling me to stop being stupid and put an end to so much dancing around the issue, already!

And so, here goes.

...

Ow!

That hurt!

...

Fuck.

"Is something wrong, Asuka-chan~?"

I don't even need to look at Misato to know where the next twenty-four hours of my life are going to be going.

"...Just kill me."

-]O[-

Bless you, Shinji, because for all of your overall denseness, you make up for it with knowing how to cook one fine compensatory dinner. And while I may have not been able to advance much of anything on your front during the evening due to plenty of... distracting factors, I can at least attest to the blissful happiness of my stomach when bed time arrived.

I haven't really been able to find lasting sleep for reasons outside my control, though, so I thought that a bit of fresh air would do me some good. And so, in the middle of the night, I've made my way to the veranda on the inn's second floor hoping that, all other options failing, I may be able to set up some make-shift thing here and make sure that I don't look sleep deprived tomorrow.

I... have big plans for the morning, after all, and it won't do to mess them up.

"Trouble sleeping?"

...But I didn't expect to meet Misato here. Then again, there was only a single person breathing when I left the room instead of two, now that I think about it.

Guess I wasn't the only one who couldn't fall asleep.

"I'd say." I smile tiredly at Misato, supposing that the culprit for our wandering is one and the same. "Who'd have pegged Wondergirl for a snorer, right?"

"Yeah, that girl doesn't look the part, does she?" Misato smiles back, but it's not long before the meaning behind her expression does a complete one-eighty. "But was it really only Rei that kept you up? You weren't having any lovely dreams during the bits of sleep that you got? I could swear I heard you whisper a few things to yourself..."

"I-I didn't-!"

I catch myself, my tired mind managing to make me stop before I end up playing right into Misato's hands.

After all, she's just teasing, and obviously making stuff up just to get a rise out of me, as usual. And she's pulling it off with zero difficulty lately, too, which just goes to show how out of my game I am, these days. I mean, I wouldn't have swallowed her lines hook, line and sinker and one after another a month ago, that's for sure.

And whose fault is it that Misato is having a field day at my expense, I wonder?

"Stop that, already. Didn't you have enough fun with your innuendos during dinner, Misato?" I sigh, hoping against hope that my exasperation will give pause to this merciless woman. "Because I swear, I'm amazed that Shinji didn't manage to put two and two together with how damn obvious you were being."

"Hey, I wasn't that bad! I'd say the whole thing was pretty subtle, myself."

"Subtle? You made Wondergirl blush. I didn't even know she could blush!" I cry out, my mind bringing up the complementary image at the same time, which I'm still finding hard to accept. "Stupid Shinji notwithstanding, if that's not neon-lights-on-your-face obvious, I don't know what is."

"Ehmm... okay. Maybe you do have a bit of a point there." The eyesore scratches the back of her head, maybe feeling just a bit repentant? Nah, I can tell she's still grinning from side to side. "But did you really expect me to pass on an opportunity for double the fun?"

"No, I didn't. That should tell you a lot about the kind of stuff I expect out of you, really."

"Ouch. Someone's feeling awfully touchy lately, isn't she?" Misato responds to my scoff by crossing her arms and turning towards me, giving me one of her playful looks. "Besides, you can't tell me that you didn't find Rei-chan squirming through dinner hilarious, kiddo. We're not that different, you and me."

"Sure, whatever, it was funny." I'll admit that much. "That doesn't turn me into you, though."

"Liar. You can deny it, but you're every bit as terrible as I am. You just need to accept the dark side, is all." I roll my eyes at Misato's hackneyed reference, before bracing myself for more of her crap. "Oh, and bit of advice? You should probably start thinking about stepping up your Shin-chan game, too, what with you so kindly helping Rei sort out her feelings before. That girl has a bit of a one-track mind when she goes about doing most stuff, you know? So since you've put her attention on that little problem she'll probably end up overtaking you if you're not careful~."

"I know, and I'm working on it! I don't need you to tell me about that."

Because I can tell all by myself that I may have awakened a dormant tiger, what with the way in which Ayanami was looking at Shinji in between strikes of the Katsuragi Tease Machine. I didn't expect things to go quite like this when I did it, of course, but it's apparent that I probably made things a fair bit harder on myself by extending Wondergirl a fighting chance.

Not that I'm going to lose. I claimed as much already, after all, and I'm not one to go back on my word.

Besides, the best rewards are those that you need to work hard for, right?

"Good, good! I look forward to the show, then!" Misato makes to turn back towards the vista, but throws me a look out of the corner of her eye before she's fully turned. "But just remember to keep the fireworks to a minimum and don't lose sight of the bigger picture, you hear?"

Pff, as if I needed her to tell me that. Even if my common sense wasn't enough for me to be aware of how important what we're doing is, letting any outside interference get in the way of my piloting was never in the cards to begin with. I've still got to reclaim my proper spot at the head of the team, after all.

Now, when we kick enough Angel ass and they finally get the message not to come back, though... that's another thing, entirely. I'm thinking that Pilots won't need to be available 24/7 once the Angels are gone, so I guess that I'll need to find something to do with my newfound heap of free time.

And I'm sure I can come up with plenty of stuff to do. Especially the kind involving two people.

"So. Did this little trip help you settle down a bit, Asuka?"

Misato's voice takes me out of my future planning and I don't miss the subtle shift in her tone. It's still chipper, but with a hint of depth to it that's usually gone when she's being a clown.

It's Serious Misato time again, it looks like. Is this linked to whatever she wanted to tell me at the hot springs, before Wondergirl showed up?

"...Why do you ask?"

"Well, because I'm your guardian, of course. In theory, anyway." Misato shrugs, surprising me when she sends a self-deprecating smile my way. "But more importantly, because Shinji told me about your episode this week."

"...He did?" I repeat, and then I find myself sighing the moment my brain wraps around the new information. "Of course he did. The idiot."

"Don't be mad at him. He's just worried about you, as any normal person would be."

"...I'm not mad, actually." Misato turns to look at me with fairly apparent surprise, not that I can blame her considering what I just said is a fact I find fairly surprising, myself. "Yeah, I know. That's funny, considering that I'd have ripped him a new one for doing something like that not too long ago."

Misato offers no more than an agreeing grunt in response, and I use the short lull in the conversation to try and identify what is it that I'm actually feeling.

It doesn't take me very long.

"I guess I'm more... sad than anything. Disappointed that Shinji felt the need to go look for help behind my back."

"Oh?" The woman beside me questions in her typical suggestive way, but my ears catch on a distinct something missing from her usual pestering. "And what brought this change, I wonder?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's because the idiot has a bit of a silver tongue, when he wants to use it. This little trip has helped put a few things in perspective too, I guess."

"With Rei?" Misato smiles knowingly, effortlessly breaking through my aloof act. "I knew that something important had gone down in those hot springs, what with her acting so strange with me. I didn't know Rei-chan could be so sneaky, really."

"...What do you mean?"

"Eh, it's not important." Misato shrugs dismissively before crossing her arms, a serious expression returning to her face. "What's important is for you to understand that, if there's someone you should feel angry at following this whole thing, that someone should probably be me."

My ears perk up at Misato's returning shift in tone and, while my mind's quickly reviewing our conversation so far, a detail that makes a sudden dread spread all over me comes to the forefront of my thoughts:

When she just said that Shinji told her about everything I said that time, did Misato really mean everything? Even all the things I said about...?

...

This could be bad.

"...D-Did Shinji tell you-?"

"What you thought of me? Yeah, he did. With all of the details." Misato confirms my fears, before she quickly puts a hand up to cut off the automatic rebuke that's on my lips. "And before you go about denying anything, Asuka, you should know that you were right."

I find myself blinking at the extended appendage for a second.

That... didn't exactly go as I'd expected it to. I find the unforeseen direction no less acceptable than my initial assumption, though.

"H-Hell no!" My loud protest echoes slightly into the distance, and I decidedly push away Misato's hand. "I said a lot of awful things! Stuff that's not true!"

"'Stuff that's not true'?" But Misato merely turns back towards me, with nary a trace of humour on her face. "That's really sweet of you, Asuka, but let's be completely honest here: did I give you any reason to think otherwise? Any whatsoever, in more than three months?

"No, I didn't. I doted on Shinji and left you to your own devices, thinking you strong and mature enough to handle the stress of your position on your own, even when I should've known better." I watch silently as the bitter smile grows on Misato's face a second time, not really knowing how to react to her acting like this. "Or that's what I told myself, anyway. The reality's that I simply couldn't be bothered to deal with you, a girl's that's far more confrontational in her dealings than Shinji is. I just took the easy way out and ignored our shared history, doing little more than keeping you at arm's length. And so, exaggerated or not, it's no wonder that you felt like the circumstances at the apartment weren't what they should have been."

"That's... not right, either," I manage, slowly stepping forward until I'm leaning on the veranda next to her. "...I mean, I should have tried to do something, too, rather than just sitting there and complaining about stuff being unfair. I'm just as guilty here, Misato."

"You're a kid, Asuka, and I'm an adult. Even if some of the things you're saying lately make me wonder about just how correct those labels are." Misato easily shoots down my argument, as confidently as she always sounds when commanding over the battlefield. "You've got enough stuff on your plate as it is, what with dealing with responsibilities that no kid your age should be shouldering, genius or not. You can't be expected to also take on your caretaker's burdens because she's too immature to do it herself."

For all of the steel in her voice, Misato herself looks just about ready to break down.

"No, I messed up on my responsibilities and I should be held accountable for that, that's what being an adult is all about. 'Those with responsibilities need to be responsible', after all. But instead, I horsed around like I always do, and managed to somehow miss all of your cries for help during the last two... weeks..."

Misato's voice trails off, her eyes fixating themselves on a point far in the distance, and she remains quiet for a few moments before she suddenly starts chuckling to herself, a deep and throaty sound that communicates little in the ways of cheer.

"...Heh, but that's not right either, is it? I heard them, all right. I just didn't want to listen." Misato shakes her head in disbelief and leans further forward, covering the upper half of her face beneath her hands. "I've read your file and known you for a long while, after all, so I know all about your issues and their possible ramifications, but it was simply easier for me to sweep everything under the rug, to come up with silly excuses that would downplay and explain your behaviour, rather than be upfront and face the problem directly, like I should have."

More humourless cackling follows, the dark and stinging sound filling every little bit of the space we're occupying and, through it all, I get the distinct feeling that Misato's a hair's breadth away from breaking down crying.

...And I, for my part, am not any closer to figuring out what it is that I should be saying, here. I've... never seen Misato like this, after all. And it's not like I've ever been any good at this kind of stuff, anyway.

Keeping people at arm's length like I do will do that to you, I guess. I'm... not any better than the way Misato's making herself sound, really.

"Man, I've really failed horribly as your guardian, haven't I?" The shadow of the woman beside me continues, unimpeded by my silence. "Seriously, considering that things would've probably gone much, much worse in the near future had it not been for Shinji... well, he had every right in the world to get mad at me and demand that I get my act together."

"W-What? Wait a minute there, Misato." I interrupt her, because I must have heard that wrong, or she must be exaggerating. "Are you telling me that Shinji scolded you? THE Shinji Ikari?"

Misato emerges from the cover of her hands and slowly turns towards me, no doubt wondering to herself why that's the bit of her monologue that I've decided to focus on. Nevertheless, there must be a small part of what she just said that Misato herself finds hard to believe because her brow visibly furrows, her mind no doubt going back to the event that she just mentioned.

...

And then she breaks down laughing. A real laugh, this time.

And it may have been entirely unintentional on my part, but it's still nice to see something resembling normal Misato a little bit more.

"Oh yeah, he did. He gave me a hell of a stern talking to, the likes of which I hadn't heard ever since I was a kid, or since Ritz and I entered university, for a closer comparison. For all of his meekness, Shin-chan can be real nasty when he has a point to prove." Misato finds a long enough break in her mirth to send me a very meaningful look. "And the point he wanted to make was a mighty good one. He really does care about you a lot, you know?"

...

I guess he does. I mean, it's really hard to look at all the empirical evidence and claim that the idiot doesn't care, not even I'm willing to go that far, at this point.

...

It's still really embarrassing to hear stuff like that being said through someone else's mouth, though. Thankfully, Misato doesn't appear interested in ribbing the point too hard, right now.

"But I guess what all of this is boiling down to is that Shinji's right, and that... that all of the above is over and done with. I chose to take you two in as my wards and, even if I may have slightly underestimated just how much of a struggle it was all going to be, it's about time I started taking it seriously."

Misato takes a deep breath and lets it out little by little, her composure slowly coming together and reforming back into an unified whole. By the time she speaks once again, Misato's words carry so much weight and conviction that there's no meaning I can infer from them other than thorough honesty.

"That means being there for you when you need it, lending an ear to your worries, and to start seeing you two as people with your own needs, rather than as a way to make myself feel better and further my own personal interests."

"Misato..."

"I'm not perfect, though, far from it. And even at the best of times, the two of us will butt heads and argue more than we speak, because that's what we do... but the next time that you feel overwhelmed by EVA, or by lovable idiots that can't get a hint, or simply by... the past, I want you to remember that Big Sis Misato wants to be there for you, Asuka, if you still want her to be."

...

...

"That's-"

...

Okay, I can't hold it in.

"Snrk!" I try one last time, before the need to laugh my ass off overcomes me. "That's too serious for you, Misato! Way, way, way too serious!"

I hear more than see Misato's shock at my reaction, which is a problem, because I can't quite catch just what sort of face she's making. A part of me is slightly worried that she'll be annoyed by how I took her heartfelt confession...

... But the better part of me is much too busy trying to keep me from doubling over in laughter.

"It really is, right?" The amusement in her voice implies she's not taking it badly, though. "Well, there's a reason why I don't do this all that often."

"No kidding, you're terrible at it!" I take a deep breath and successfully manage to get my giggling under control long enough to throw a Misato impression out there. "'I want you to remember that Big Sis Misato wants to be there for you, if you still want her to be'. God, it's like Shinji and you are trying to see who can make me cringe the hardest!"

"Okay, now you're just exaggerating. I wasn't that bad."

Misato testily throws an arm around my shoulders in time with her words and pulls me closer to her. I don't fight it, although I can't honestly tell if that's because I don't want to or because my hurting abdomen won't let me.

"I am not! I'm so not doing that! You two are just plain corny!"

"Pff, everyone's a critic! You're welcome to try and do better than us whenever, Asuka."

"And you can bet that I will! It's not like you guys are putting the bar particularly high, anyway."

...

You know, being held like this is pretty nice. It's not something that I'd tell Misato in a million years but... it's warm, and relaxing. It doesn't feel half bad, all things considered.

...

Yeah, I think I could seriously get used to this. Especially if Shinji was the one doing the holding.

...

Mmm... That gives me an idea, actually. Although I guess that coming up with the finer points will have to wait a bit.

"But overall corniness aside," I force myself to push out of my fantasies, thinking it's about time I gave Misato a straight answer. "I think... I think I'll still take you up on that offer."

"You will?" At my response, Misato's arm pushes me a bit closer towards her, gratitude clearly resonating within her voice. "Thanks, Asuka."

...And at that, I feel the impish need for one final snipe. You know, just so that Misato's clear on what she's getting herself into.

"...Or part of it, anyway. You're way too old to be my big sister."

"...Don't push your luck, kiddo." The hold on my shoulder tightens for very different reasons, letting me know that darkness lies that way, and that I'd be wiser not to pursue it. "Besides, that's the more reason why I can give plenty of Big Sis advice to you, you know? Like, I don't know..." Misato leans her head forward, far enough to whisper into my ear. "Not plugging your partner's nose when you're kissing someone? It makes the whole thing go through much better~"

"W-W-What?!" I jump out of Misato's grasp, having zero difficulty recalling the events that have plagued my thoughts on more than one occasion. "He told you about that, too?! Oh, I'm so going to murder you, Ikari!"

"And you!" I put aside the specifics of Shinji Ikari's permanent leave from life long enough to point a demanding finger at my companion. "You wipe out every little detail from your dirty mind right the hell now!"

"Sorry, Asuka-chan, no can do! Big sisters have good memories~!" Misato deflects my order with thinly disguised gusto, her wide smile letting me know without a shadow of a doubt that the revenge of Katsuragi will be brutal, and probably not swift. "I can teach all about improving your technique, though~!"

...

...Well, that backfired horribly.

"Misato!"

-]O[-

Come morning, I'm feeling the full effect of my transgressions the previous night, and in full agreement with whoever was the person who coined the term 'Karma's a bitch'. I'd even go so far as to put a new spin on the saying, and say that 'Karma's a vengeful, alcoholic, and single bitch very close to her thirties, who singlehandedly managed to floor all of my well-laid morning plans.'

And I know that it doesn't roll off the tongue quite as nicely as the original, but I'll still take it.

Because seriously, I went through all the effort of dolling myself up as well as I could, I'm in my favourite sundress and I should be trying my best to get Shinji's attention by... looking cute and stuff, but it's pretty damn hard to pull off the charm when my own mouth's sabotaging my efforts every few seconds.

It doesn't help matters that while I'm asleep on my feet, Karma seems to be feeling perfectly fine herself, and more than willing to boast about that fact by cheekily grinning, waving and calling out to me every chance she gets, bringing Shinji's attention to my less-than-ideal state every single time.

Damn you, Misato! You're a demon!

...

...No, wait. You're Karma.

...

...You're Demonic Karma?

Sure, let's roll with that. I'm way too tired to argue with myself, anyway. And I don't care that the impromptu pyjama party with Misato was admittedly fun in its own right, I'm still going to get back at her or my name's not Asuka Langley-Sohryu! You may call me Shikinami or something stupid like that.

"You appear exhausted, Second Child," a familiar voice suddenly speaks from behind me, jolting me out of my plans for how to best get revenge on Katsuragi. "Were you unsuccessful at achieving sleep yesterday night?"

And, hey, look who it is. Miss Thundering Sleep herself.

"You bet I was." I turn around to face Wondergirl, the other bane of my slumber, narrowing my eyes at her. "And I wonder whose fault that was?"

I notice with some annoyance that Ayanami's put on that sundress of hers again, too. Guess she wasn't kidding about liking it.

This could complicate matters on the Shinji front.

In any case, Wondergirl seems to take my rhetorical question seriously (on top of not picking up on just who I'm talking about, bafflingly enough), tilting her head to the side in wonder. She then remains like that for several seconds, clearly speculating and discarding answer after response after return, and making me ponder just when she's actually going to speak up again, and what kind of zoo she grow up in to develop her unique brand of social skills.

"...Did Ikari-kun influence your rest, somehow? I believe I heard you whisper his name at some point during-"

And then I promptly wish she'd just stayed quiet.

"No!" I quickly cut her off, while making sure that Shinji didn't catch wind of that. He didn't, thank God. "Just- Just forget I said anything, okay?!"

"...Very well."

Ayanami seems fairly obviously disappointed about my strong denial of what she thought a likely answer (which clearly wasn't, because I don't talk in my sleep), but doesn't push the issue any further. Instead, she walks up beside me, joining me in watching Shinji and Misato put the finishing touches to our means back home.

It shouldn't be too long now, a few minutes tops. Which means that I should probably have a part of my mind start brainstorming ways to block my rival from doing any funny stuff in the near future. That, coupled with coming up with a good retaliatory strike against the Demonic Karma, and thinking on how to achieve an advantage for myself in the Ikari theatre of operations... it's accurate to say that my mind's a hive of activity right now.

It's a good thing I'm so smart, really.

"Anyway, what are you doing here, Wondergirl?"

"What am I doing?" Ayanami returns my question, blinking and looking sort of puzzled. "I'm... keeping you company. After watching your interactions with Class Representative Horaki, I was under the impression that it's something friends do."

"I... guess?" That's one way of putting it. What's so hard about speaking like a normal person, I wonder? "But didn't you say yesterday that we couldn't be friends? Because of, you know..."

I trail off meaningfully, motioning towards Shinji with my head just in case Ayanami needs some extra clarification on the stuff she said yesterday. You can never tell with her, after all.

"Are you referring to our shared romantic feelings for Ikari-mmph!"

And then I clamp my hand on Wondergirl's mouth so quickly that it would make a certain anthropomorphic hedgehog jealous. You can never tell with her, indeed.

"Not so loud, you idiot!"

And I hope that my hiss conveys every single iota of how fed up I'm becoming with Ayanami's sheer lack of a scheming voice. Although, to be fair, I really should've seen that one coming considering her track record.

...

I blame that blunder on most of my brain being busy, right now.

"I am not an idiot."

"Sometimes you seriously make me wonder." I shoot back, unhanding the not-idiot with a tired sigh. Thankfully, Shinji was at the other side of the car at the time, so he didn't hear or see anything. Again."In any case, yeah, I'm talking about that. What happened to it?"

"I thought better of my reservations throughout the night, Pilot Sohryu." Ayanami responds while taking a moment to realign her sunhat, which has gone just slightly off-centre in our minor scuffle. "I would be willing to befriend you, in the hopes that it will improve both our cohesion during combat and the chances of achieving a satisfactory outcome for everyone involved."

Well, that's one weird way of saying that the pillow won the midnight debate. Then again, Wondergirl.

"Okaayy..." No reason to disagree, really. "I... guess we can do that."

"I'm glad to hear that."

...

...Did Wondergirl just smile?

Nah, no way. I must've imagined it. Better focus on something else before you start seeing flying pink elephants, Asuka.

And speaking of...

"By the way, if we're going to try and be friends from now on, you should probably just call me Asuka." I cough into my hand, trying to push past the fact that I'm feeling slightly uneasy. "I'll... try and cut it out with the nicknames too. Can I... call you Rei?"

"That's acceptable."

"Great!" Her quick response makes me feel more relieved than I'd care to admit. "Although a simple 'Yes' would've done it too, you know?"

"Does that mean that you two are finished with your heart to heart, now?"

"GAH!" I quickly round on the unexpected intruder, throwing her a look that says exactly what I think of her childish scares. "Misato! Don't do that!"

"Sorry, sorry, too hard to resist." Misato backs off slightly with a smile that's anything but repentant. "But can you blame me, kiddo? You always give me the best reactions."

Of course I can blame you, and in fact I do!

"In any case, we're ready to go and Tokyo-3 is a ways away, so what say you we get moving? I'd like to get there before lunchtime, myself."

Misato completely ignores my evil eye and turns to smile at Rei, motioning with her head towards me.

"Care to be my co-pilot, Rei-chan? I think Asuka and Shinji could use some shut-eye in the backseat, and I'd like to have someone give me conversation while I drive."

Pff. Yeah, because Rei's the perfect person to ask to hold a conversation, Misato. I appreciate the whole sleep thing, but I hope you're ready to...

...

...Wait, Misato knows about Ayanami already. Is she asking her on purpose?

...Is she trying to help me?

"It would be no problem, Major," Rei agrees pretty much automatically, as expected. "However, there should be plenty of time to make our way back to Tokyo-3 before midday, so, in return, I'd ask that you exercise restraint in your driving."

The bit I actually find surprising is the hint of steel in Rei's voice, and that I managed to notice it. This little thing, coupled with the range of slight but meaningful inflection deviations that she showed yesterday at the hot springs... I'm starting to think that, for all of her weirdness, calling Rei emotionless was way off the mark.

And right now, that fact hasn't been lost on Misato, either.

"R-Restraint?"

"Indeed. There's hardly any need for violent manoeuvres with the timeframe available to us." For a moment, I believe I notice Rei's eyes flicker towards me. "Furthermore, I believe it'll have a positive impact on the quality of Ikari-kun and... Asuka's rest."

Almost as soon as Rei hesitantly finishes her statement, my eyes completely forget about Misato and jump towards my new friend. The reason why should be clear, I think, because while I know that I was the one that asked her to start calling me by my name, I really wasn't actually thinking she'd start doing it so quickly. I mean, the Japanese are anything if not insanely proper, and with the sheer amount of time it took me to coax Shinji into not adding that annoying '-san' to my name...

I don't know, it's... weird, for Rei of all people to start calling me just by my name so quickly. But not in a bad way.

I wonder just how many more surprises this quirky girl has in store for me.

Once she manages to get over her own shock (quite a bit later than me, mind you), Misato's eyes dart towards me, a plea for help against the blue-haired menace that would inhibit her reckless driving all but written on her expression.

And I, for my part, happen to find the timeless architecture of the inn remarkably interesting.

"...O-Okay then," Misato gives up after a few seconds of desperate begging, cutting her losses when she realises no aid is going to come. "I'll make sure to take the corners as smoothly as po-"

"I'd also request that you comply with the speed limits, Major."

"WHAT?! But- But-" Misato blurts loudly, any remaining semblance of control all but leaving her. "But then I'll be the one falling asleep!"

"Don't worry, Major. I'll strive to ensure that doesn't happen, as will be my purpose."

...

Man, Rei's merciless! Not that I didn't know she could be pretty terrifying when she wanted to, already, but mobbing Misato like that's no easy feat. Guess she was as annoyed with the result of the first trip as the rest of us, even if she didn't show it. Hat's off to her, anyway.

Misato, on her side of things, is looking pretty miserable, trying to come up with some last ditch effort to salvage some creative liberties in her driving but coming up with an obvious blank. As she starts heading towards her relic of a car with Rei in tow, defeated and humiliated, Misato throws me one last look that pretty much spells 'You better make this one be worth the price, or else'. An empty threat that I have no trouble ignoring, because I'm just so satisfied with seeing Karma finally finding its way to my self-styled Big Sis, even if it's by the hand of Ayanami, of all people.

Maybe today's not looking like such a bad day, after all. The only thing that's missing is my presence of mind to pull off that Shinji Ikari Capture Plan I had thought of, but...

...

Wait a moment... Shinji's... He's looking at me.

...

He's looking at me! Shit, I've got to do something! But what should I-?

...

Wait. Stop that, Asuka. It's just Shinji, for crying out loud! And considering everything else you saw yesterday, this really shouldn't rattle you enough that you can't think things through.

So just... take conscious hold of that hand before it ends up repeating the moronic actions of yesterday morning, and take a second to draw a deep breath and collect your thoughts.

...

You can't afford to waste any more time, Asuka, not after helping Ayanami come to terms with her own feelings, and you can't allow this golden opening Misato's allowed you (at a well-deserved price for herself) to go to waste, either.

Hell, you can pull ahead of the race and even win before it actually starts if you just play your cards right, so no more hesitating. Because despite the excuses of your rapidly beating heart this can't be worse than stopping a meteor Angel with your bare hands, you silly girl.

We're doing this. Today.

No excuses and no regrets allowed.

My mind made up, I follow Shinji into the car, making sure to let my frown relax into the most pleasant expression I can pull off so as to avoid spooking him. After all, I fluster him enough when I belt myself to the middle seat in the back, instead of taking what would be the more common option for Misato's ancient Renault.

Therefore, the first part of my unscripted plan when the car starts to roll is to lure Shinji into a false sense of security by chatting about nothing and everything, but keeping his attention on me all the way. I keep it up for a while, fighting the exhaustion that presses on my eyelids until I'm sure that Shinji will give up sooner than me (he must have run himself ragged yesterday to be so tired, or something), and then, when he's finally about ready to doze off, I strike:

In a single instant and before I have time to sabotage myself, I close my eyes and rest my head on Shinji's shoulder.

He jolts awake and goes stiff almost instantly, to my slight disappointment. Then again, I guess expecting Shinji Ikari to smoothly roll with things and... hold me and stuff was a bit on the unrealistic side, in spite of the Casanova joke. I can still work with this, though.

"A-Asuka...?"

"...There's no headrest on this part of the car and I'm... kinda tired." I justify myself, having some real trouble with making out my own whispers over the commotion coming from my chest. "...Does it bother you?"

I feel Shinji moving his head around from me to the front of the car, no doubt checking whether Misato or Rei are paying us any mind. Which doesn't seem to be the case, judging from the way in which Shinji's body relaxes just the slightest little bit.

"N-No."

"...Good." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and smile to myself at his admission, using that excuse to make myself even more comfortable (and Shinji less so) by scooting closer to him. "I want to do stuff later today, and I can't be tired for it."

"P-P-Plans f-for the afternoon?"

"Yeah, you'll find out what later."

I pause for a bit and take a deep breath, in preparation for the final leg of the race. This is it, Asuka, let's knock this one out of the park.

"B-Because I want you to come with me."

Shinji's head swivels towards mine at once, and I notice his breathing quicken against my hair. I guess not even the densest of rocks can fail to understand where I'm going with this.

"I've been thinking that I want to get some new clothes, and I... might as well help you buy something a bit more interesting than your everyday outfit while I'm at it. We all know you could use it." I shut my eyes tightly and brace myself for the question of the century. "If... If you want to come with me, of course."

As my stuttered statement hangs in the air, awaiting Shinji's answer, I reckon that my face looks about as red as my plugsuit. Still, and despite how sheer embarrassing this all is, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now. Having the dangerously warm and comfortable feeling of Shinji pressed against my side is... very enjoyable, in a way that Misato's embrace from yesterday night really doesn't compare to.

This feeling's something I could look forward to, I think, if only he'll say 'yes'. I realise that, in hindsight, my flirting over the past few weeks has probably been crap, and that I've been... very unfair to him in the past, but I know I can do better than that. I know I will do better than that.

...

...So please don't say no.

...

...Don't say no, don't say no, don't say no...

"...Okay."

YES!

My nervousness abates almost immediately, and a wonderful sensation that spreads to every little part of my body quickly takes its place, a feeling that's similar to what I felt when Shinji and I had our... moment a few days ago, but that still somehow manages to be so much more at the same time. It's hard to put into words, what with the feeling coursing through me being uplifting, exciting and intimidating all at once but, what I do know, is that it's one of the best sensations I've felt in a long time. So good, in fact, that before I can take full notice of my actions, my head has shot up and I've planted a kiss on Shinji's cheek.

...

For the longest time neither of us says anything, the sound of the car's engine and the slightly less one-sided conversation ahead struggling to fill the void my impulsiveness has created. I find myself mesmerized by Shinji's eyes, and engrossed with watching at great length just how beet red his normally pale features can become.

That's not to say that a sizable part of me doesn't want to partake in a healthy round of self-kicking for my impetus... but, hey, Shinji hasn't pulled away from me!

That can't be a bad sign. I think.

"Y-You can lean on me too, i-if you want." I eventually manage, hiding my face in its previous position but still feeling bolder for some reason I can't name. "I don't want you to be tired in the afternoon, and having your neck ache from those crappy headrests won't do, either."

I feel Shinji shift around a little bit at my words, probably debating on whether it's actually safe to do as I say, or if I'm going to bite his head off the moment his hair brushes against mine. He hesitates, once, twice, and thrice, and it's not until I push myself even further against his side that Shinji finally understands that yes, it is alright for him to take my invitation.

And I'm so glad when he puts his head against mine, and we ultimately relax against each other, because the sheer warmth that invades me and the contact against my skin feels right, and it fills me with the security that, no matter what the world throws at me, I can take it, and...

...

...And it reminds of days long past, almost forgotten, when Mama would also hold me sort of like this. When we would read or watch TV under a protective blanket, the fabric and Mama's body warming me up against the far colder climate of the German winter, and lulling me to sleep...

Just like Shinji's doing now.

Heh. This is so much better than having him hold my hand.

I can feel through his rhythmic breathing that Shinji has already succumbed to slumber, and I can tell, despite my heart's pleas to fight exhaustion and bask in the feeling for just a bit longer, that I'm not far behind. Before my eyes close up fully and I fall asleep, however, I barely make out Rei watching the both of us intently through the rear-view mirror.

This time, I'm sure she's smiling.

---

A/N: And there it is. For all of those wondering, yeah, the original plan for this chapter involved it being much more similar in tone to the first than it ended up becoming. The end result was still going to be pretty much the same (although probably not as WAFF ridden), but Rei Ayanami sort of threw a spanner in the works when her part in the story came around, and had Asuka reaching her last conversation with Misato in pretty high spirits, rather than frustrated and more than a bit angry with herself, like she was initially supposed to.

The other explanation for such blatant derail of the original draft is that I simply suck at drama. Both are equally valid, really. :)

As always, a million thanks to my Betas for making sure my stuff can be properly read, and just as many thanks to all the fine people who take a minute of their time to share their thoughts on my work. Such generosity is always appreciated.

I'll see you in the Epilogue.