Naruto was surprised as he walked in on Sasuke, naked on the floor, rubbing his pointy and erect nipples. Sasuke's face was twisted into intense pleasure as he continued stroking his nipples whilist rolling into something which appeared to be little balls of lint, Naruto guessed. The blonde watched Sasuke several moments, trying to figure out if he was having a seizure or not. Naruto suddenly farted, causing Sasuke to notice his presence. The black-haired boy smiled lazily at Naruto, enjoying the nasty smell of his flatulence. He stopped stroking his nipples and sat up, waving at Naruto happily.

Naruto raised a brow, suprised by his lover's actions. This was totally unlike him and to be honest, it scared Naruto. He knew Sasuke did drugs; crack, weed, smack, shrooms, x, dust, meth, basically any drug known to man. Which is why the boy was so pale and had dark circles around his eyes. It looks like he always stayed up all night jacking off to gay porn, but he actually just did a lot of drugs. Or both.

"Naruto, what's up?" Sasuke mumbled, a queer smile upon his face.

"Sasuke, what in the absolute fuck are you doing?" shouted Naruto, who didn't know whether to be scared or turned on.

"Oh, Naruto," slurred Sasuke. "I'm just rolling in my dingleberries because I was bored."

Naruto nearly choked on his own saliva at the realization. He was rolling around in his dingleberries? Who the hell does that? Ok, well, to be truthful, he has done it once or twice at a party with Gai and Lee after they forced him to do a keg-stand. Let's just say it did not end that well. Naruto shuddered at the memory, then turned his attention back to his crush once more. Sasuke had proceeded to roll around in his dingleberries once more, his musuclar body squishing them flat. The blonde then caught on that Sasuke was drunk; he secretly liked drinking tequila when he was bored and usually started doing freaky things that were even a little intense for Naruto.

"I love rolling around in my dingleberries," he slurred to Naruto, who watched his giant penis which was well over twice the length of Naruto's. Sasuke quickly rolled over and his 89 foot cock slapped the fuck out of Naruto's face, knocking him straight to the floor, leaving him unconscious.

Sasuke then crawled over to where Naruto was lying and picked up his giant dick and started peeing all over Naruto's face. Naruto awoke several moments later as he felt some warm liquid on his face. He tried to open his eyes but they burned because of the liquid. Naruto caught on about what was happening and began to try to sit up, but the flow of Sasuke's piss was too strong, and the blonde couldn't get up. It was starting to get harder to breath and Naruto started gargling on his man's urine; on any other occasion, this WOULD turn him on, but he was dying due to Sasuke's drunken stupidity. Had the situation been under romantic circumstances, he would've enjoyed this because Naruto was a sick fuck that enjoyed scat. But, since Sasuke was was more wasted than Lil Wayne at the VMA Awards, it didn't have much sentimental value.

"Sasuke!" screamed Naruto, who let out a fart that lasted for over 29 hours, "What the fuck is wrong with your bitch-ass?"

"Showing you how much I like you by marking you as my territory," said Sasuke, who suddenly felt nauseous.

The pale queer with a bad 5 'o clock shadow covered his mouth with his hand as he felt his lunch from earlier starting to come up. Sasuke quickly looked around for a toilet, because it was coming up fast. He quickly tried to dart across the room, but he ended up slipping in some of his piss, falling hard on his ass. He covered his mouth again as the vomit reached his mouth.

"Oh shit, it's comming -" Sasuke couldn't finish due to vomit shooting out of his mouth as it landed all over Naruto's shoes that he bought from The Dollar Tree. Naruto pulled his feet away and shook the chunks off his shoes. His vomit was lime green and reeked of banana peppers. Naruto didn't know why the hell is vomit looked that way, and he didn't desire to know. Naruto took a step back and slipped in a puddle of Sasuke's piss, falling on his ass. He felt his ass grow wet with the warm pee, and groaned in annoyance. Could this day get any worse?

Naruto almost wanted to vomit hiself; he couldn't stand Sasuke now, so he would check on him later. He wanted to go see his second best friend, Sai. He wondered what the queer artist was up to; probably painting a picture of Ryan taking a shit into a bowl and painting the turds. Naruto farted at the thought. Sai's turd paintings made him have the juiciest flatulance ever, and that's what he loved about Sai.

As he was walking over to Sai's house, he pulled out his queer and bubbly pink iPod and started listening to Whitney Houston because she was his favorite female artist. He played, "You Give Good Head" and imagined that he was Whitney singing and that Sasuke was listening to him as Naruto tried to capture his heart so that they could be one step closer for ass fucking. He imagined him getting on one knee, singing his queer little heart out to Sasuke as he watched him with awe and adoration. He felt his heart clench with love. They would poot together, shit together, pee together, vomit together. Naruto could feel his butt-cheeks blush.

He walked up to Sai's apartment door and turned the door knob to discover that it was once again unlocked.

"I could seriously give a fuck less if someone enters Sai's house and beats him up and steals his turd paintings. If he is that fucking dumb to leave the door open for anybody to just walk in, I don't have any sympathy."

As he opened the door, he had no idea what to from the queer artist who had no emotions.

"Sai, if you're painting another fucking bowl of turds, I'm gonna - WHAT THE FUCK!" he screamed at what he saw. He then saw Sai, bouncing on Ryan Snipes dick. Sai was moaning in pleasure as Ryan nibbled his earlobes and was saying Sai's name.

"Naruto, get the fuck out," said Sai blandly. "Ryan was about to come over."

Naruto almost wanted to gag at what he was seeing. He seriously had no idea what to believe; everyone was acting so weird today, especially Sai, since he normally did nothing out of the ordinary. Naruto rushed outta Sai's house and began to head towards Sakura's house. She was his backup friend when Sasuke or Sai wasn't around.

As he walked down the street, he ran into someone he didn't really like: Shikamaru. He was holding Temari's sexy hand and he kissed it romantically and gazed at Naruto and said, "Where the fuck are you to in such a hurry? The last time I saw you running like that was when we were in the Olympics and you had to take a HUGE shit."

"Aye, fuck off, dush!" shot back Naruto.

"Hey, don't speak to my man like that you little punk!" replied Temari who slapped Naruto in the face.

"Oh yeah?" said Naruto, who was still not convinced. "How about this?" he turned around and farted thunderously for about 10 seconds in their faces so hard that they both blasted off high in the sky, twinkling like a little star as a dingleberry flew after them.

Naruto looked off in the distance and saw them fly so fast that they hit an airplane, causing it to crash into a daycare.

All of the little kids ran out of the daycare on fire, they stopped, dropped, and rolled, putting out the flames that were engulfing them. They wiped the ashes off of themselves and acted as though nothing had happened. They went to play on the swing set and smoke their weed they had found in the sand box.

Naruto looked around and saw the back of his orange jump suit which had completely turned dark from all of his shitting.

He farted and giggled as the gas tickled his rectum.

"That felt good," said Naruto, patting his juicy ass.

He walked down the street and finally arrived at her fluffy pink front door. He rang the door bell which sounded like a kitty meow and she didn't answer it. He rang it seven more times to annoy her, but when he rang it the eight time, she finally came to the door.

Naruto watched as Sakura opened the door; she didn't have a top on, so her non existant titties were hanging out.

Even though Naruto was pure gay, he sometimes why Sakura, at age 16, had breasts the size of a 7 year old. She seriously had nothing to put in a bra, so it kinda shocked Naruto that she would just walk around without wearing anything.

"Yeah, what the fuck you want?" asked Sakura, scratching her AA titties which all of the sudden giggled. Yes, her breast giggled. It bounced up and down as it gave a big toothy grin. Jagged teeth were sticking out her nipples!

Naruto looked at Sakura's giggling titties and wondered why they laughed; he remembered when he was at Victoria's Secret the other day that Sasuke's titties started to laugh, so he wondered how hers could, too. Maybe he was the only person in the world who's titties could not laugh. It suddenly made him feel like an outsider because his titties couldn't laugh. He looked down at his slight man-boobs and bounced up and down, trying to jiggle his titties and make them laugh. Unforunately, all his titties did was fall under his arms because they were so damn saggy. Naruto cried in despair as he realized he couldn't make his titties laugh, then turned his attention back to Sakura.

"Um, well, I was going to tell you about Sasuke!" screamed Naruto. "I went to that nigga's house and he was naked on the ground, rolling in his dingleberries and -"

"Yeah, that's not uncommon when he's hammered," said Sakura, scratching her titties again which started laughing once more like hyenas. "I remember once back in 96 he rolled in Chouji's dingleberries, and let me tell you, that wasn't a pretty sight. And besides, you of all people should know that, since you have a 24/7 obsession with him." She stopped talking and strained for a moment and let out a huge fart, soiling her Hello Kitty thong.

"Fuck, that shit smells really, REALLY bad," she said, shoving her fingers up her ass and pulling her shit-covered fingers out, sniffing them then licking them.

Naruto just raised a brow. He was used to this.

Suddenly the phone rang, causing both of them to jump at the sudden loud noise. Naruto reached out for it, but his hand was swatted away by Sakura's, as she gave him a glare, "Naruto, don't you dare touch my phone you fucker! It's a private number. I'll put it on speaker phone."

The pinkette pressed the speaker phone button, then said sweetly, "Hello, you reached the house of Sakura Haruno, home of the skank that gives head seven days a week."

"Ok, 'ya bastard, you wanna play rough? Whore slut bitch!" A husky voice boomed through the phone.

Sakura's eyes widened, but quickly recovered, and snapped back, "Who the fuck are you, man?"

"Give the phone to Naruto, you crusty-lipped skank." the voice spat.

Sakura looked offended, then tossed the phone to Naruto. She glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest, covering her small AA sized breasts. Sakura's chest was so flat that you could land a plane on that motherfucker. Sakura often stuffed her bra with napkins from The Red Lobster, but they ended up looking lumpy and it was obvious she faked her bra size.

Naruto gulped before clearing his throat. "H-Hello? Who is this? How did you know I was at Sakura's house?"

"I know a lot of things about you, Naruto..." the voice cackled.

"You sound like you have bad idigestion!" Naruto screamed, suddenly feeling very scared for his asshole.

"Yeah, you know what? The hell with you then. Yeah, go to hell, go to hell." the voice rambled on and on.

"Yeah, you too! Bye-bye! Take care, bitch!" Naruto shot back.

"You son of a bitch..." the voice growled.

"You, sir, are the motherfucking son of a bitch!" yelled Naruto, getting angry with this person's antics.

"You know, if I wasn't so sure that you were a lesbian, I'd say you are coming on to me." the voice said seductively.

Naruto's eyes widened. "What the fuck are you talking about, man? Who is this?"

"Whore slut bitch! You've got a sick mind!" the voice boomed once more.

"Yeah? Well, you've got a STUPID FUCKING MOUTH!" Naruto screamed.

"Yeah? Well, you know what? The hell with you tehn. Yeah, go to hell." the voice said once more.

Naruto gritted his teeth together as he responded, "Yeah, you too! Bye-bye! Meet you there, mothafucka!"

The voice was quiet for a moment when a fart was heard on the other end. The voice then said quietly and poiletly, "Everyone leave. I have to poop."

"..." Naruto couldn't find anything to say in return. Was this mothafucka serious?

A loudy and juicy fart was heard on the other end of the line that lasted nearly 20 seconds straight before the phoneline went dead. Naruto blinked several times before putting the phone back down on the hook, looking at Sakura in confusion.

"Who the hell was that?" Naruto questioned.

"Well, how the fuck would I know you peice of shit?" Sakura spat, letting out a queef. Her eyes widened once she realized she had her period and just strained out bloody chunks. She blushed as bright red blood ran down her legs. Naruto nearly wanted to fucking vomit.

"I'll be right back," she said as she left and headed towards her pink bathroom, forgetting to shut the front door. All of the sudden, a voice said, "Why were you spying on me earlier, Naruto?" Next, a sexy hand with yellow fingernails with shit underneath the nails tapped Naruto on his shoulder, and he turned around as if he'd been found, he saw that it was his man Sasuke.

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AN: Hope you enjoyed, bitches and gentlemen.