"Class, take a 15 minute break and have fun at recess," said Kakashi. "It's such a nice day out today, and all you need to exercise your fatasses - especially you, Chouji."

"Fuck you, bitch!" yelled Chouji, who threw a picture of his ex-lover Daquandra at him. She was a girl with some humungous lips and small breasts. She was of course African American, hence her weird name that sounded like something straight out of Tupac's life story. He broke-up with her when he caught her in bed with his grandfather. Chouji didn't understand why that whore would want an old man's penis deep inside her loose vagina anyway.

All the students ran outside screaming wildly, including Gai and Iruka, the older ones. All of the students were in their late teens, but they acted as if they were a bunch of five-year-old's. Naruto went to Sasuke and Sakura and said, "Why don't we ditch class now and go back to Olive Garden like we originally planned?"

"Good idea, but if that dush Kakashi sees us leave, he'll give us detention for life, or until he dies, whichever comes first," said Sasuke.

"Besides," said Sakura, "I like owning everyone's ass in Algebra class. It's like, my job to be better than everyone else in school."

"Well, alright," said Naruto sadly, "do you want to go there for dinner?"

"Sounds like a plan," said Sasuke.

"Yeah, I hope we don't have to stay here much longer, because I am hungry," said Sakura, rubbing her belly which did not even exist.

"Ok," said Naruto, "Well, I'm gonna go play on the swing set, so I'll see you later."

"Ok, see you," said Sasuke and Sakura, who went to play on the see saw.

As Naruto began walking towards the swing set, he saw that someone was already on it; wait he saw two people on it! Naruto recognized those two hair styles - it was Rock Lee and Gai, sitting on the same swing! Naruto hid in a bush nearby and watched them more carefully; they were making out on the swing set! Naruto had a feeling that they would be gay for one another; the signs were so obvious, like the times they hug each other passionately and cry with each other like two characters off of a cheesy soap opera.

Naruto pulled out a pair of binoculars that he kept in his purse; he kept a lot of unusual stuff in that purse just in case the occasion called for it, so he took them out and put them on and spied on the two fruity bowl-cut asians. Naruto nearly wanted to burst into a frenzy of laughter at the sight he saw, but he didn't want to blow his cover.

"Hehehe, look at those two fruits who look like Jackie Chan and Astro Boy combined," Naruto chuckled deviously as he watched them make out. While he was doing this, he began eating some gummy worms that he kept in his purse because he was so hungry. "Wait a second…. what the fuck are they doing?" He watched as Gai unzipped his paints and Rock Lee unbuttoned the button that was covering his asshole! Rock Lee then sat down on Gai's dick and Gai began to push his feet hard making the swing go up rather high; they were having anal sex on a moving swing! Naruto began choking on a gummy worm and literally almost stopped breathing until he felt someone perform the Heimlich maneuver on him so hard he spat up his gummy worm and it hit Rock Lee so hard that he fell off of Gai's 14 inch dick and Gai starting coming in the air, getting it all over the swing set.

Naruto turned around to see who had just saved him; it was Jiraiya! That old pervert. He would have to wash himself about 438 times a day to get his fingerprints off of him. Naruto bet that if he went in a black light, he would have tons of semen stains on him.

"So, I take it that you liked what you saw, huh?" asked Jiraiya the 56 year old with a smile on his leathery face. "Meet me in my office in 5 minutes; I have something important for you."

Naruto just shrugged and started to walk towards Jiraiya's office. What the hell did that old man want? As soon as naruto reached his office, he knocked on the door and heard a faint "come in" from the other side. Naruto twisted the nutsack shaped doorknob that looked just like his! Naruto wondered for a second if Jiraiya put some cemement on his balls when he was sleeping, and

"What the fuck?" whispered Naruto, almost scared.

He walked in and saw Jiraiya wearing nothing but a robe!

"I know that you liked what you saw on the swing sets, so I thought you would like to swing on my set!" he threw off his robe and revealed his pasty naked body to Naruto! Naruto looked down at the old men's wrinkly nutsack and put both hands on his face and starting screaming like that little kid off of Home Alone real loudly. He darted out of that office, haunted for eternity and more, screaming and running for his life. As soon as he ran out of the office, he bumped into Kakashi, both of them falling down on their asses.

"Ow!" exclaimed Kakashi, rubbing his asshole in pain, "Watch where the fuck you're going, you little bitch! You hurt my asshole really badly!"

"I thought you would be used to it by now, nigga," said Naruto, laughing at his own joke, "After all, you are gay. I saw you getting fucked in the ass by Sai!"

"Mind your own business!" screeched Kakashi, getting very defensive. "First of all, when you saw me, I wasfucking Sai in his magical asshole. Anyways, what are you doing, screaming and running out of Jaraiya's office? Don't you know not to run in the hallways!" He pointed to a sign that was in Japanese that read, "Do Not Run In The Hallways".

"I-I saw the most disturbing image in my life in his office!" shouted Naruto who was still scarred for life.

"Really?" asked Kakashi, knocking on the man's door before opening it.

Naruto gulped, watching as Kakashi went inside Jiraiya's office. The blonde waited for the gray-haired male to come out, but it seemed to take an enternity. Leaning against the door, he crossed his arms over his chest. Naruto looked at the clock across the hall, above some neon pink lockers, noticing it was 5:32 PM. What kind of school was this?

"See you later, big boy." said Kakashi seductively as he walked out of Jiraiya's office. Naruto studied Kakashi, noticing his hair was messier than usual and he had clear liquid on his lips. Naruto stood there for a moment, before Kakashi noticed the blonde boy's presence. The gray-haired man looked suprised, and slightly embarassed.

"Oh, Naruto," Kakashi said. "You're still here. Um, did you happen to hear anything by any chance?

Naruto only looked at the male before letting out a tiny fart, causing Kakashi to giggle slightly, both of them forgetting the previous situation. Kakashi then went back outside into the playground and said, "Class, everyone please head back to the classroom so we can finish our lecture on Algebra."

Sakura and Sasuke got off of the see saw and Tenten and Kiba stopped playing volleyball. They all groaned with disdain and headed back to the classroom where they would have to listen to that ugly ass Kakashi.

They all sat down in the classroom and Kakashi said, "Let's review our factoring polynomials, shall we?"

Kakashi turned his ugly self around and started shaking his ass like a fruity pirate while he wrote on the chalk-board with the rainbow chalks that he stole from the kids in the neighborhood who kept drawing poorly drawn yet completely accurate pictures of Kakashi getting fucked in the asshole; it was amazing what the kids can draw with chalk on the sidewalk nowadays. Whenever people walked by Kakashi's house and saw those pictures on the sidewalk, they would laugh and point at him - sometimes, several gay men would go over to his house and ask if he was single. In order to get revenge on those kids, he stole an ice cream truck and pretended to sell ice cream and told the kids to come inside to get "the good stuff". Now he has about seven little boys down in his basement that he fucks in the ass on a daily basis, yet he claims to be straight; that is so typical of Kakashi, a hypocritical lying bastard.

"Now class," started Kakashi, "we shall have a pop quiz which will count one tenth of your grade. Let's see," he took about 5 seconds to write something down on the chalkboard, "who can answer this question?" On the chalkboard read. "x^2 -5x+4". "Now this question goes to... Kiba! Alright, Kiba, please give the fucking answer so I can decide whether or not you fail this class for the third time." As Kakashi was waiting for Kiba to respond, Kakashi picked up the newest issue of "Icha Icha Paradise: The Hairy Nutsack Edition". He looked at the naked photos of fat men with lust and wanted to jack off, but the fact that everyone was watching him prevented him from doing so.

Meanwhile, Kiba was texting to Neji, saying "Let's gangbang Tenten later, you know you want her ass out and I'll impregnate her."

"Uh, what?" he asked, looking around.

"On the chalkboard, dumbass," said Kakashi. "This is exactly why you failed two times in a row, you gangsta-wannabe piece of shit with that retarded hoodie you have on."

"Oh, right…" said Kiba coolly looking in the direction of the chalkboard. "Hmm," he thought, rubbing his chin, "Is the fucking answer negative five?"

Kakashi face-palmed so hard that it left a red hand-print on his fore-head and said, "No, you fucking dumbass, why don't you study like your classmate Sakura who always gets A+'s?" He gave Kiba the middle the finger to Kiba, before taking a sip of his Starbucks coffee.

"Let's try easier math, shall we?" Kakashi sighed, writing a few easy math problems on the board.

Kiba was the ultimate prankster who was sometimes referred to as the Johnny Knoxville of Japan; everyone in Konoha knew the stunts he pulled off and his 342 videos on youtube which easily had over 90 million views each. No way in hell was he gonna listen to that ugly bastard Kakashi, so to show how much he really cared, he unclipped his special silk thong he was wearing under his jogging pants and threw it at the other end of the chalkboard, startling Kakashi as he looked at it fall to the ground. Kiba normally wore bikinis, but he was wearing a thong today because he has to work at the strip club as a Chippendale later tonight; he normally works for about three dollars and hour, but he could easily round up $500 in tips a single evening, as well as a few blowjobs.

"What the fuck?" said Kakashi as he looked at the black thong with shit stains on it as well as a few eight inch pubic hairs in it.

As Kakashi was purely focused on the tiny underwear garment for men, Kiba then pulled out a condom and pissed in it, masturbated so hard until he came in it and then tied it up like a little water balloon and threw it at that ugly mother fucker Kakashi. The condom burst in his face, covering him with piss and cum.

"Who the fuck did that?" he demanded furiously, stopping his high heels on the floor. Everyone liked Kiba; no way would they squeal on him, so they pointed at Chouji who was eating a 3 foot meatball sandwich from Subway and a 2 pound bag of Lay's salt and vinegar chips. He grabbed a handful of greasy chips and washed it down with his 4 liter bottle of Pepsi his dad gave him for breakfast. He then released a huge belch, making the ceiling fan shake. The class began to gag on the scent that then followed. It smelt like a fart!

Kakashi walked up to Chouji and tapped the fat-fuck's shoulder, and said, "Is this yours?" after showing him the thong.

"Hell no!" shouted Chouji back with his mouth full. "Do you think my fat-ass can fit in that?"

"Well, it's quite obvious that it can't fit on your fatass, so I guess it's your boyfriend's, huh?" smirked Kakashi. "Why the hell did you piss and cum into this condom and throw it at me?"

"I'm not gay!" shouted Chouji, flapping his arms around like a penguin doing a mating dance at the zoo in Yugoslavia. "And do you think I can reach my dick, you retard?"

"Good point. Chouji, if there is one thing a ninja cannot be, it is a liar," said Kakashi, "and you, sir, are one hell of a bad liar. For your punishment, you must run around the school five times right now."

"But... but..." began Chouji, sad that he would have to be separated from his beloved meatball sandwich.

"Anyway!" Kakashi interuppted. "Let's do some easy-ass math problems, and if you little fuckers can't do these, then you're more mentally retarded than I thought you were! Alright, what is 5 x 2?"

The class was silent, indicating that everyone was stumped.

"Come on, children. Don't be shy - just give it your best shot!" Kakashi urged.

A hand shot up from the back of the class. Everyone turned around to see who it was, and it was no one other than Ino Yamanaka. She was the dumbest girl you'd probably ever meet in Konoha. Ino sometimes forgot where she lived, and even her own name! She was oblivious to people always making fun of her stupidity, which made Naruto sympathetic with the blonde girl. She had platinum blonde hair and was Sakura's best friend. They occasionally argued and bickered about which one of them would end up with Sasuke, but other than that, they were inseperable.

"Yes, Ino?" Kakashi said.

"Um, twelve?" she said skeptically, scratching the back of her head.

Kakashi only sighed, shaking his head. "Alright, now let's get an answer from someone whose not a complete retard."

The class was silent for a few moments, before a arm shot up from the front of the class. Naruto gasped, realizing it was Sasuke!

"I think I know the answer, Mr. Kakashi!" Sasuke said, his voice suddenly shrill and queer-sounding.

A voice from the back of the class mimicked the Uchiha's shrill voice. Sasuke snapped his head to look in the direction of where it came from. He then met the face of Chouji, a cocky smirk on his face as he stuffed his mouth with Doritos. Sasuke raised a brow, watching as Chouji giggled at the emo boy's reaction.

"Shut up, fat boy!" Sasuke snarled, giving Chouji the middle finger.

"Aye! Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!" Chouji spat, peices of chips flying out of his mouth.

"Chouji! Did you just say the F word?" Kakashi gasped.

Chouji scratched his head, confused. "...Jew?"

"No. He's talking about fuck. You can't say fuck in school, you fucking fat-ass!" Sasuke said, leaning back in his chair.

"Sasuke!" Kakashi bellowed.

"Why the fuck not?" Chouji demanded, standing up from his desk, causing the classroom to slightly shake at the impact.

"Chouji!"

"Dude, you just said fuck again!" Kiba scoffed.

"Kiba!"

"Fuck." Hinata giggled from the back of the class.

"Hinata!"

"What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Chouji said, saying the word repeatedly intentionally to get under Kakashi's skin.

"How would you like to go to the school couselor?" Kakashi challenged, putting his hands on his hips in a typical gay fashion.

Chouji stood up from his desk and began walking towards the sliding door, each step he took produced a 4.2 magnitude earthquake in a 20 foot diameter, so the whole class began to shake; it literally felt like the Tyrannosaurus Rex from Jurassic Park was walking through the classroom. Also, every time he moved, his stomach swooshed around and made sounds like water sloshing in a bottle of water and his titties made squishy noises like Jello jiggling. After reaching the shoji, he opened it half way and because he was so out of breath for being so heavy, he collapsed right there, falling unconscious right there in front of everyone.

Everyone watched and blinked a few times, not saying anything. Kakashi looked at the shinobi on the ground and sadistically smiled at him.

"Everyone," he said fiendishly, "point and laugh derisively at that obese motherfucker!"

Everyone began to laugh loudly and rancorously at the obese ninja's 469 lb fatass, tossing paper balls and notebooks at his nuts. He grunted in pain and started crying at the abuse. He just wished he had a gun right then and right now and shoot everyone in the room. Ino went over to Chouji and kicked him hard in the stomach and reached down into his back pocket and stole his Spiderman wallet and the keys to his orange Volvo.

"You fat fuck!" she said with spite, giving him the middle finger, "you are a disgrace to everyone! Hey, look everyone!" she added. "Chouji's a member of the "Powerpuff Girls Fan Club!" Everyone then began to laugh even harder, some of them were falling out of their chairs from laughing so hard.

Tenten was recording the whole thing on her brand new lime green iPhone 4s that Neji stole for her; it was full of apps such as Speedos R Us and "The Ballsack Street Journal", "Willard Quntishimlosvoramp's Porn Palace", the work; she just wanted to porn like practically everyone else her age.

Suddenly, all the kids in the classroom stopped laughing when they felt the ground shake. A loud booming noise was heard in the distance, getting closer and closer. Kakashi simply raised a brow. "Is that an Earthquake?" Kakashi asked.

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Ino. Being the dumb blonde bimbo that she was, she screamed and hid under her desk and started praying in Japanese, but while she did so, she pulled out her crème colored iPhone 4 s and tweeted and put on Facebook "Earthquake! Run for your lives!" and she got 8 likes within 19 seconds. Someone commented on her status, "You dumbass, there ain't no earthquake, it's probably just Chouji sitting down you feel."

Suddenly the door was roughly slammed open, causing the door to break off its hendges and cracking part of the wall off. Everyone gasped in shock as they saw the figure walk in; it was Chouji's dad, Arnold Akimichi! Even though his actual name is Choza, the reason that he went by Arnold, or, more accurately, changed his name legally, is because like Arnold Schwarzenegger, they were both muscular and attractive back in the day, but now they are old and flabby and when they wear a Speedo, people go permanently blind; the more sensitive ones commit suicide. Even Naruto did not even want to picture that, even though he pictured a lot of dudes in Speedos because he was so gay. He even once asked Sai to paint a picture of Sasuke in a Speedo to put on his wall and worship it, but Sai said that he didn't have any blue paints to paint the Speedo blue, which infuriated Naruto.

Arnold was practically twice the size of Chouji, which was saying a lot, since he weighed 883 lbs and was about 7'1 tall. Each time he moved his fat feet, he produced a 5.6 earthquake in a 47 foot diameter, much like a brontosaurus loose on a stampede, kinda like the one Gertrude Lemmons had in her backyard. On his arms, he had a tattoo of a bucket of a KFC 8 piece chicken meal with a corn on the cob and mashed potatoes on his left arm and a tattoo of a triple pounder cheeseburger with tomatoes, onions, bacon, and lettuce on it. He also was eating a bag of chips as he eyed the classroom with pure hatred.

"What the hell is this?" asked Rock Lee, "Meet the Fatasses?" earning a few laughs from the children, especially Gai, his gay lover who had equally greasy hair as he did. They both made-out right there in front of Arnold.

"Why are you little motherfuckers bullying my son?" Arnold boomed. "And you over there with the greasy black hair!" He pointed a finger at Rock Lee and Arnold walked over directly in front of his desk. "So you think you're smart, you're sexy, huh? Who the fuck would ever want to go out with a guy whose hair is greasier than a McDonald's stove?"

Rock Lee just gulped and started trembling in fear, being towered over by the humungous guy. "I... uh, n-n-no…" he stuttered, paralyzed with fright.

"Oh yeah, well, here's what I think!" screamed Arnold, who picked Rock Lee by the neck and threw him onto the ground. He then squatted over him and released a hurricane force fart on Lee, causing him to vomit for a total of eight seconds continuously; soon the whole class was joining him, vomiting on the recently polished floor.

"As for the rest of you," yelled Chouji's dad again, "Don't you know that it is causing him pain? You may look at him and think he is a funny, happy boy, but in reality, he is dying on the inside! Literally! His body mass index is 123%, five times more what it should be! He writes suicide letters at home and at times I have to stop him from killing himself by putting too hot sauce on his food! What do you say to that, you cunts?" He then looked over and saw that Ino had Chouji's Spiderman wallet in her hands. He slowly walked over there, causing producing fissures in the floor, and said, "Ino, what the fuck are you doing with my son's wallet? You blonde bitch!"

"How the hell do you know it's not my wallet?" she fired back. "I happen to like Spiderman as well, so that doesn't give you a right to accuse me of stealing anything!"

"Hand me the wallet now," said Chouji's dad, holding out his hand which was larger than a Chinet plate. She dropped it in his hands and he opened it and gasped! "Where the fuck is the money? He had $94 in it and I know he didn't spend that much on that meatball sandwich!" Seeing that there was no point in letting the sandwich go to waste, he picked it up and ate it all at once.

"Hand me the money, skank," said Arnold, getting very infuriated. Ino pulled out her Barbie wallet and gave him four $20 bills, a $10 bill, and four one dollar bills. He took the money and shoved it in his pocket and looked directly at Ino in the eye; he was about 2 inches from her, looking at her evilly. He then grabbed her by the pony-tail and then threw her against the chalkboard, causing it to break off the wall.

All of the students were silent except Ino, who was groaning like she was about to give birth to Chouji Jr. All of a sudden, Naruto started grunting hard then he let out a shrill fart, breaking the silence. He could fart again! He was so excited, he wanted to do the Macarena in front of Sasuke and shake his ass in front of him and make him fall in love with him. Chouji's dad narrowed his eyes at the blonde.

"What the hell are you fartin', for? Ever heard of Gas-X?" Arnold boomed.

Whenever Arnold farted, he caused tsunamis that struck Antarctica and knocked penguins over on their fatasses, making them fall off the iceberg; some of them landed in the freezing water and were eaten by killer whales for lunch.

"As a matter of fact, I have." Naruto stated calmly, feeling a small fart come out his ass. "I have 20 in my purse."

Chouji's dad stood up on the desk, breaking it and landing on his fatass, causing a 6.7 earthquake that hit the building. The desk shattered into a bazillion pieces of wood. Kakashi screamed like Freddy Kruger with a chainsaw up his ass that Whitney Houston was holding while singing, "I Wanna Dance With Somebody."

"I bought that desk for 23 dollars at a Thrift Store outside of Dayton, Maine back in 1998 when I was searching for my soul mate, you fat-fuck!"

"Do you fucking think I fucking give a fuck, bitch?" shouted Arnold. "You are the main reason of my son's miserable life! You make him feel like an absolute wad of nothing! That's exactly how you'll feel once I'm done with you."

"Now, Choza, let's sort something out—" stuttered Kakashi, scared for his asshole.

"Bitch, my name ain't Choza - it's Arnold!" he shouted angrily.

Chouji's dad threw the bag of Doritos at Kakashi before tackling him, making Kakashi lose his balance and tripping on his 5 inch high heels.

The special garbage bag size of Doritos that Choji's dad had was something he bought from a black market in Qatar. He pinned down Kakashi under his gargantuan ass and began to wrap his banana sized fingers around Kakashi's throat, starting to choke him and slamming his head against the ground without mercy.

All the sudden, Naruto and so did Sakura went up to Arnold who let go of Kakashi and said, "Even though we seriously hate that mother fucker Kakashi, leave him alone! If he is gonna be killed, then it is gonna be we who kill him, not some supersized fat-ass like you."

"So you wanna fight, huh?" said Arnold, clutching his fists together. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out his Pokéball and said, "Go Onix!" all the sudden, the huge rock Pokémon came out of the red ball and roared, destroying the roof of the school.

Sakura and Naruto both gulped; was fighting this dude really worth it? After all, he could pinch them and they would probably have to go to the hospital. Sasuke ran up to the both of them and whispered something in their ears. Then Naruto pulled out his magic wand from his purse and screamed "!" and a bluish pink laser came out of the tip of the penis-shaped wand, causing Chouji's Dad and the huge rock snake to teleport to who knows where; for all they hoped, they could've landed on top of Hinata and smashed her ugly-ass to death. Not that anybody would care that she died, since she was a genuine nobody who didn't have a single friend in Konoha; she went onto places like IMVU and talked to random people from Norway or Belgium.

All three of them high-fived each other and cheered as they celebrated their victory over Arnold. Kakashi, who was hiding behind Kiba, stood up and clapped his ashy hands together, causing ash to engulf the room and making everyone cough.

"That was rather impressive, Naruto," he said gleefully, rubbing his asshole some more. "I must thank you by saying that our Algebra lesson is done for today. You may go back to the Olive Garden, and take this coupon for 5% off your bill." Kakashi pulled it out from his purse and handed it to Naruto who then said, "Thanks a lot, old nigga!" and with that all three of his friends left the Ninja school to go take a shit at Olive Garden.

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AN: Hope you enjoyed bitches and gentlemen.