So. Hi. :) I'm alive and certainly kicking. I do apologize for that lack of anything, but I have appreciated all of your reviews. Some reviews I have received have claimed me lazy, but yes college is hard, but I was also doing (still am doing) martial arts twice a week, school, and school plays. Liiiiittle busy.

BUT school has been replaced with two jobs and that leaves more time and more of my late night energy free :p

And omg guys, so I am a die-hard Indians fan, went to the game today, hell yes win, but they are making a new t-shirt slogan for this year:

What if?

I about peed myself.

So that was a sign to update, and I am really excited to get THAT t shirt. XD

And funny thing, the last time I updated for Composer Gizmo-chan's birthday (I bold so you read this if that's you lol), but hey if you're still out there, I put it in my calendar to update again when it comes around XD. And if any of you want a birthday update, let me know! It guilts me into updating. ALSO next year I'll be in Japan from January to June (!) so if your birthday's in there, I'll update for your half birthdays, cuz those are cool.

ONE MORE THING I SWEAR. I thought of a hilarious one shot idea, but I won't let myself write it until I did this first. So. If you don't have me on author alert, keep a watch for a title called Here I Am, because it is going to be epic. I is excited.

To business! Here's proof that I look at both old AND new suggestions, because I got this one last week and I am intrigued. Let's see what I can do with this.

And now, without much more ado…

What If…

Axel became pregnant?

((as suggested by the energetic Roxel forever))

"This has to be the cutest mission we have ever been assigned," Axel said offhandedly as he and Roxas exited a portal into his bedroom in the wee hours of the morning.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Roxas replied as he sat in his computer chair.

Axel flopped onto the bed in exhaustion. "It is. I don't care how cute the subjects are, these twelve hour work days are killing me," Axel stripped off his pale green scrub shirt as he continued talking, "and these clothes are uncomfortable..."

Roxas gave him an incredulous look. "I cannot believe that you think posing as nurses in the nursery of a hospital is a bad mission. Instead of fighting off Heartless, we get to hold new life! And cuddle it! And these clothes are so comfortable!" Roxas said, rubbing his shirt, "These may be my new pajamas."

Axel pouted. "I like when you sleep in your boxers…"

Roxas winked at him. "I may lobby that these be our new uniforms. And they come in patterns!"

Axel rolled his eyes as he stripped off his scrub pants for bed.

"Seriously!" Roxas continued, "We could all wear duck-patterned scrubs!"

Axel laughed aloud at the thought of the Superior wearing duck-patterned scrubs.

"You know what I think," Axel said, flopping back on the bed, "I think you've been having too many 'interviews' with the pregnant women."

Roxas looked offended. "We need their input for evidence! New hearts may be valuable to creating our own!"

Axel gave Roxas an offhand look. "You talk more about baby clothes than the actual babies.'

Roxas snorted. "Well, I think that you really do love the babies; you're just too stubborn to admit it."

Axel looked skeptical. "Nope, I'd rather be fighting off hordes of Heartless. You aren't seriously going to sleep in that are you? It smells like baby fluids…"

Roxas mock-sighed as he stood and started to get ready for bed. "I guess I'll take them off…Axel, I know you say you don't like the babies," Roxas continued quietly as he crawled into bed with Axel, "but I just think you don't want to admit that you do. Wouldn't it be nice if we could have one?"

Axel didn't reply for a while. "I think you've been hanging out with the pregnant women too much, Roxas," he said dismissively, ending the discussion as he enfolded Roxas in his embrace. Roxas sighed a goodnight and closed his eyes.

Axel's thoughts were running a mile a minute. Roxas? Me? A baby? Ridiculous…

-((This looks like I set it up to be a dream, but its not, lol))-

Axel looked bored out of his mind as he sat in a rocking chair, holding one of the new additions to the nursery. This sucks, he thought as he watched Roxas feeding one of the babies, we could be off doing a fun and exciting mission. Instead, I get you, he thought as he looked down at the child in his arms.

The baby, Charlie, rarely opened his eyes in the nursery. He lay silently in Axel's arms, quiet for the moment. Axel continued his mental tirade against the two-day old while he subconsciously rubbed his back. All you do is eat, sleep, poop. I could work at a zoo for the same effect. I don't see what the Superior sees in you. You're just small, defenseless—

At this moment, Charlie let out a great baby yawn, opened his big blue eyes and looked up at Axel.

-and just about the most adorable thing I have ever laid eyes upon. Axel looked up to make sure Roxas was otherwise occupied, before waving a finger in front of the child, who latched on instinctively with his hand. Axel cooed at him softly.

"You're not that bad kid," Axel whispered to the boy as he continued to rock him.

-((SQUEE))-

The next few weeks greatly improved Axel's disposition; he was really started to grow attached to the babies. Roxas grinned widely after they returned from work one night, commenting on Axel's newfound love for the little ones.

"Seems like someone has changed their mind about little bundles of joy," he gloated.

Axel rolled his eyes and stretched. "Joy is not the word I would use in that sentence…ow!" He rubbed his lower back.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "What's up?"

"My back hurts. Too many hours at the hospital I guess," he took off his scrub shirt and turned so Roxas could see his back. "See anything?"

"Nope, it must just be sore." Roxas couldn't resist a jibe at the stick-thin redhead. "It's all that hospital food you're eating; you must be getting fat."

Axel took him seriously for a minute before grabbing a pillow off the bed and throwing it at him.

As the two climbed into bed, Axel thought about his now-throbbing back. He experimentally flexed his stomach. It actually does feel a little…fatter…wow, I really need to work out more, he thought as he drifted off to sleep.

-((so it begins! The next morning))-

Axel awoke to the alarm and moved to leap out of bed to perform his daily 'wake Roxy' routine. However, as soon as he leapt out of bed, something was definitely…off.

"RISE AND SHINE, MY –woah," Axel said, clutching his stomach.

Roxas turned bleary eyes over at Axel. "Is something wrong?"

Axel shook him off. "Nah, I just feel a little…weird. Almost nauseous even," he said, sitting down on the side of the bed. "Maybe I have been eating too much hospital food…"

"We'll have to start packing some lunches," Roxas said as he sat up, "Maybe you should stay home today?"

"No really, I feel f-" Axel stopped and headed for the bathroom. A few minutes later, he returned looking pale. "I think I'll stay home today…"

Roxas tucked him back into bed and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll tell the kids you say hello," he said, winking before disappearing into a portal.

-((that night))-

Roxas made sure to hurry home after his shift at the hospital today. I wonder how Axel is feeling; I hope he isn't that sick…he exited the portal to Axel's bedroom to find not only a perfectly healthy-looking Axel sitting in bed, but a healthy-looking Axel eating the strangest assortments of foods.

"How are you…feeling?" Roxas asked, confused.

"Great," Axel said after a bite of pizza. Also on the bed was a 2 liter bottle of root beer, mini donuts, Milano cookies, and an empty box of chicken wings. "It must have been something weird I ate the night before that didn't digest right," he explained. "Pizza?"

Roxas declined the offer, overcoming his surprise. "And all of this is going to digest right?"

Axel stopped eating. "I have a high metabolism," he said offhandedly as he gathered up the garbage into a pile on the bed.

Roxas shrugged. "You're lucky if you don't some wicked heartburn," he said as he sat in his computer chair.

"What does it matter? I enjoy it," Axel snapped.

"Woah, sorry," Roxas backtracked, "I was just surprised not to find you bed-ridden when I got home. No need to get mad."

"I'm not mad," Axel continued in a sharp tone, "I'm just sick of you making fun of my eating habits," he stood to throw the trash away. "I'm perfectly healthy, and you do not get to judge if I eat too much or not!"

"I'm sorry!" Roxas exclaimed, "All I did was make a comment!"

"Well I do not appreciate your comments Roxas! They're hurtful!" Axel turned away with a tear in his eyes. Roxas was speechless.

"I didn't realize you felt that way Axel…"

"Well I do," Axel said, turning towards Roxas. Roxas' eyes widened as he focused on Axel's stomach.

"Axel?" Roxas said cautiously, "I am not saying this to be offensive, but you don't normally get food babies when you eat a lot, and…well…that's one hell of a food baby."

"What?" Axel looked down at his stomach to see a small bump in it. He turned towards the mirror. He was definitely convex.

"Roxas…" he turned towards the blonde, eyes wide. "Did I just get really mad at you about nothing, eat a lot of weird food, and throw up this morning?"

Roxas opened his mouth to speak, paused, and closed it again. "Axel," he tried again, "are you…"

"Pregnant?" Axel finished, rubbing his belly. Both men stared at each other, eyes wide. After a moment in silence, both started talking very rapidly.

"I don't understand how this happened, we don't even have the right parts"

"Can you get pregnant by proximity? I shouldn't be hanging out with the pregnant women so much, maybe I passed it on to you—"

"Oh my god Roxas, how does it come out?"

"There has to be a book for this—"

"I think I'm going to pass out—"

"Hold on!" Roxas said, standing and guiding a panicking Axel to the bed. "All we have to do is take this issue into work tomorrow. It'll be okay," Roxas said, wrapping his arms around a shell-shocked Axel's waist. "Men can't get pregnant. Right?"

"Right," Axel replied softly.

-((the next day after work))-

"I TOLD YOU I should not have loved the babies!" Axel exclaimed as he stormed out of the portal. "That's it! No more affection, or I'll start making milk or something!"

Roxas rolled his eyes, but inwardly he laughed just like the nurse at work did when he tried to bring up their suspicions about Axel's 'pregnancy.' The nurse had spit out half of her lunch laughing before explaining the details of a sympathetic pregnancy, where men around pregnant women start sharing the symptoms. "It didn't happen because you love them, it could have just as easily happened to me!"

Axel pouted. "Why does all the crazy shit happen to me."

Roxas snorted. "You cannot justify that claim. I am usually the one that has the crazy shit acted upon me," he emphasized. Axel leered at him as he followed him to the bed.

"So Roxy, since we have been reassured there is no way either of us can get pregnant, what do you say we practice making phantom babies?"

Roxas laughed as he let himself be pushed onto the bed and pulled Axel on top of him. "Sounds like a good idea," he whispered against Axels lips, "just no more mood swings."

Axel grinned. "Deal."

-((End!))-

Bwahaha. Not as funny or smutty as I hoped, but that was harder than I thought. Shaking off the rust I guess. This Here I Am I want to write will definitely be a funny one though ;)

Now I'm still here, let me hear if you're still out there! R & R!

Last one: The Truck! I had to think, lol.

Roxas laughed. "What can I say? I had to release my inner feminine wiles."

Axel snorted. "The day you have feminine wiles is the day that Vexen declares a love for inferiors and small children," he said dryly.

~freaky-hanyou