Warnings- past relationship abuse, mild PTSD, mentions of rape
You felt your cheek sting as you stared in horror at the man standing over you. You had been told to bring him a beer, but you had grabbed the wrong type. As soon as he saw the bottle in your hand, he stormed over to you and slapped you hard enough to hit the ground. The bottle broke and cut your hand as you tried to scramble away.
"You dumb bitch! All I did was ask you to get me a beer and you can't even do that!" He snarled, his once handsome face twisted into something unrecognizable. You flinched away, bringing your bloody hand raising to block your face. Blood dripped down your arm and stained your shirt. At the sight of the blood, he seemed to calm down a little. "Go clean up. It'll be a problem if the stains don't come out." He turned away and went to get the right kind of beer.
"Holy crap are you alright?" Sans was kneeling next to you, his hand gently rubbing your back in an attempt to slow your breathing. It took you a second to realize what had happened, and when you realized you felt embarrassment and guilt turn your stomach.
"I'm fine…" You brushed him off, standing and going over to the fridge. You and Sans had been dating for almost a year and a half, but even with all that time you still had flashbacks to those years you spent with that other man. You had been watching a show with him, and when you got up to get a drink you asked if he wanted anything. Sans thought for a moment and asked for a beer, which must have triggered the flashback.
"You sure?" He asked, his face twisted in concern. "You look really pale."
"Yeah, just tired. I haven't been sleeping that well." You said, giving him a smile and filling a cup.
"Alright babe. If you keep having trouble sleeping Tori has some tea that might help you relax." He offered, and you said if you kept having trouble you would take him up on that offer.
"What are you doing here so late?" You asked as you opened the door. It was almost midnight when you heard a knock on your door. Sans was there with a bag in one hand and some flowers in another. No matter how many times you tell him he can come right in, he still knocks and waits for you to let him in.
"I remember what you said about not being able to sleep," He said, coming in and handing you the bag. Inside was a box of tea with a sleepy bear in a nightcap on the front. "I was passing by the store on my way home from work and I figured it couldn't hurt to bring some over. I know you don't go to bed until late anyway so I figured you'd still be up."
"Thank you so much…" You said, tearing up a little. You were still getting used to his affection. You weren't used to being treated so nicely from a significant other, so whenever he would complement you or do something nice you found yourself flustered. "Do you want to stay for a little bit?"
"Actually…. I was thinking if the tea didn't work there's another way I can help you fall asleep." He smiled a little and gave you his flirty face. You knew what he meant and placed the bag on the couch before taking his hand and leading him upstairs. He grinned at your eagerness and followed like a puppy.
It wasn't that you didn't want to sleep with Sans. It was the opposite actually – you loved him. But you were so used to the repercussions if you denied sex, so you were overly willing to bring him into your room. As you started to undress, you realized for the first time since dating Sans that maybe you weren't acting the way you should.
"A-an amusement park?" You asked, trying to keep the fear from your face. You used to love them, but for the years you dated that other man, he caused you to fear the bigger rides. You were never a fan of coaster and heights to begin with, but he forced you on them and abused you if you refused. Now even the sight of a roller coaster made you want to throw up.
"Is that a problem?" He asked, watching you pale. You gave him a strained smile and shook your head.
"Of course not! I love going out on dates with you." You said quickly, not wanting to upset him. While you knew Sans would never get mad and hit you, or leave you for having an opinion, there was still a small part of you that was absolutely scared stiff that if you said no he would walk right out of your life.
"I love going out with you too," he grinned at you, kissing your cheek fondly. "I like to show off my cute babe to the whole world." You blushed bright and couldn't help but smile at him.
"You're too much." You laughed, pushing him away gently. He chuckled and shrugged, almost to say 'yeah well, I'm yours so deal with it'.
"Go put on some comfy clothes cuz we're going to ride every side at that park!" He explained, excitement causing his eyes to sparkle. You swallowed back your nerves and smiled before going to change. You put on a comfy pair of shorts and a solid colored tank top with a pair of flat sneakers. Casual enough to be comfy, and plain enough to not draw attention. The other man always hated when you wore things that drew attention, especially from other men. You realized that was another habit you had yet to break. You also realized none of your friends would know who you were before you gained off of these habits because you hadn't met any of them at the time.
"Ready to go?" You asked, grabbing a drawstring bag and a water bottle. He grinned and shifted from foot to foot, like a child waiting for an ice cream.
"Hell yeah!" He cheered and grabbed your hand, dragging you to the door.
"It's the tallest roller coaster in the world, and reaches speed of over a hundred miles per hour." Sans' eyes sparkled as you waited in line for the scariest coaster you had ever seen. It went straight up and then straight back down again. The whole ride lasted seven seconds from take off to pull in, and you knew it was going to be the longest seven seconds of your life.
"Seems scary…" You said with a trembling smile. His own grin dropped a fraction.
"We don't have to ride it if you don't want to." He said, placing a hand on your arm. You had been on a few of the more milder rides, but with the heat you were already a little sticky. You felt your heart skip a beat, not because of his care but because of what would happened if you were the reason he couldn't ride the coaster. He saw your face pale again and tried to get you to look at him.
"It's fine!" You said, turning away from him to look at the coaster. The screams of those on board echoing through the hundreds of people waiting in line. "I always get nervous while I'm waiting in line. It's the anticipation." You giggled nervously, but it seemed to work. He went right back to being overly excited, and you felt yourself relax a little.
The ride itself was over in what felt like a single second. By the time you stumbled off, tears were streaming down your cheeks from the wind smacking your face painfully. Sans tugged on your arm and puled you towards the tea cups.
"I have something special planned for when the sun sets, so look forward to it!" He said, grinning from ear to ear. You felt a little dread pool in your stomach but you ignored it. You wanted to focus on how happy he looked right at that moment.
The day seemed to fly by. Some of the rides had lines with wait times of up to two hours, but it didn't seem like that long when you were talking to your best friend. You spent a lot of time with Sans before, but you never really know someone until you wait for two hours in direct sunlight for a ride. You didn't really feel nervous about any of the other coaster because Sans was there to hold your hand. You almost completely forgot about his surprise.
You got off an indoor ride and you realized the sun had set and the park was lit up by thousands of lights. It was beautiful, all of the rides lit up and shimmering in the night. Sans took your hand and started leading you somewhere. At first you didn't pay attention to where he was taking you because you were so focused on how beautiful the lights looked. You only noticed where you were when he stopped and squeezed your hand.
"Come on, let's get in line." He said, grinning at you and pulling you towards the line. You looked over to the ride we were getting in line for and felt your heart drop. The Ferris wheel glowed in the dark, the lights changing color as the carts moved around the sky.
"S-sans…" You whispered so quietly he couldn't hear you. He started jumping from foot to foot with the largest smile you've ever seen on his face. You stared up at the ride and you could feel a flashback coming on. You tried to push it down, but it came anyway.
"Get on." He snarled into your ear, low enough so no one else could hear it. You smiled and nodded, climbing into the carriage. He smiled at the worker and climbed in behind you. You sat with our knees together and your hands on your legs to keep them from shaking. You didn't know what he was going to do to you.
As soon as the carriage left the docking area, he moved to sit next to you. Without saying anything, he started touching you. You whimpered but didn't make a sound. He pushed you on your back and lifted your skirt up, doing whatever he wanted to you. He shoved himself in you and finished before you reached the ground, leaving you to walk off the ride as normally as possible.
"-? Are you okay?" Sans' voice broke through the flashback. You realized you had moved to the front of the line while you were having your flashback. You tittered painfully as he waited for you to get on the ride. Part of you contemplated running, but you knew that would make things worse. Or would it? You didn't know right from wrong anymore. You didn't know what would happen to you. You were afraid. "We don't have to go on." Sans said, the disappointment clearly written on his face. You shook your head frantically and almost ran onto the ride.
Sans sat across from you, looking conflicted all of a sudden. You sat in silence as the cart rose slowly to the top, the cart stopping to let more riders on. As it moved up to the next spot, Sans broke the silence.
"Is everything alright? It looked like you were going to throw up. If you didn't want to ride… you didn't have to…" He said, sounding on the verge of tears. You felt your chest clench but didn't say anything. Your hands started shaking even harder. "Seriously, what's wrong?" He asked, sounding more serious than you've heard him in a long time. You looked up and realized you really were crying.
"I'm f-f-fine…" You tried to say, but you were too afraid to keep your voice strong.
"You're not fine," He said, looking scared as well. He came over to sit next to you but pause when you flinched. "Tell me what's wrong."
"It's nothing." You whispered, the cart moving up one more spot. You were three from the top, before the ride started going normally.
"Tell me." He said, almost like a command. You seized up and swallowed, almost afraid to deny his command.
"The guy I used to date, before I met you and everyone else… he would yell at me and hit me if I disobeyed anything he said. He forced me to do everything he wanted me to, from cutting my hair to losing weight to even what job I had. I dated him for almost three years before he was arrested for abuse. After that I met everyone, and met you, and my life got so much better… but I still feel afraid to disobey you at all even though I know you would never do anything to hurt me in any way, shape or form. But I can't help be afraid. Like the last time I was on a Ferris wheel he rapped me and told me if I told anyone he would kill me…" The tears were running down your face faster and faster. Your breath was picking up dangerously and before you would ramble on anymore he pulled you into a tight hug. You tried to fight the hug, but he refused to let go until you had calmed down.
You struggled a little, the cart shaking as it stopped for the last time as they filled the last cart at the bottom. As the ferris wheel started moving smoothly, he let you pull away and looked at you with broken eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" he asked, his voice cracking. "I could have helped you through this or… fuck three years? You spent three years with that asshole and… fuck no wonder you looked so afraid…" He ran a hand over his face and sighed painfully. "If I had known I would have planned something else… Is this what your flashbacks are of?"
"F-flashbacks?" You stuttered, not realizing he knew.
"I wondered why you would zone out for no reason and freak so I looked it up and it said flashbacks were a symptom of PTSD… and that makes sense now. I'm so sorry… I should have been there to help you and support you and…"
"You did help me…" You said, taking his hand. You could feel it shaking. The ride started to slow, which meant the workers were starting to unload for the next ride. You looked over to the side and saw you had stopped at the very top of the Ferris wheel. Despite your fear, you couldn't help but gasp at the sight of the whole park, all lit up and sparkling. When you turned back, Sans was kneeling in front of you with something in his hands. You realized what was happening and started crying all over again.
"I wasn't there to help you with this before, but I swear on my life that I will be there for you from now on. No matter what, I will support you so… will you marry me?" He asked, opening the small box that had been hidden in his pocket all day. You couldn't even say anything, so you just nodded and cried. You threw yourself at him, knocking him back on his butt and rocking the cart as it started to move again.
He slipped the ring on your finger as your cart came around to the bottom. The workers cheered as you exited the ride. You grinned through your tears and as you tried to walk away Sans scooped you up in his arms and kissed you deeply. The onlookers cheered and you couldn't help but grin. As you made it out of the park, you realized you weren't afraid anymore. Looking back, you weren't afraid of Ferris wheels as much. Sure, you'll always have that deep rooted fear, but now you had an amazing memory to cover over the scarring one.
"Did you talk to the workers beforehand?" You asked as you exited the park. Sans shrugged a little, looking sheepish.
"When you went to the bathroom before I talked to one of the workers," He said with a smile. "They were more than willing to help."
"I love you Sans." You said, stopping and giving him a hug.
"I love you too. I love you so much…" He hugged you back, talking into your neck. "Trust me to help you whenever you have a flashback. I promise I'll always be there for you."
"I will. I trust you Sans." You grinned at him, twirling the engagement ring on your finger as your heart fluttered like a butterfly.
"Come on, let's get you home. It's getting late." He kissed your cheek and held your hand all the way home.
Another chapter! What's up with that?
This was actually a suggestion from a guest, so I'm sorry if it's not the exact thing you had in mind when you reviewed. I tried, and I can try again later to see if I can get it closer to the original prompt.
I want to give a shoutout to everyone. Literally everyone. It's so hard to deal with mental illness and abuse and school and relationships. Sometimes you think it's impossible to go on, but you all made it here and I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of everyone who made it here!
Until next time!
Starlight