Warnings- depression, self-deprecating thoughts and actions, self harm

"You looked a little blue kiddo." Sans said, coming to sit next to you on the couch. You just sighed and stared at your phone. You saw that the message had been delivered, but you knew they weren't going to respond. They never did.

"It's nothing important." You muttered sadly.

"That jerk isn't texting you back?" He guessed, hitting the nail on the head. You spun around to face him.

"How did you know?" You asked, genuinely wondering how he knew. He just laughed and wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

"You've been moping around the house for two weeks because of this person. Even a blind monster would see that you're not your normal, happy self. "

"Have I been that obvious?" You moaned, cringing a little at your own patheticness.

"A little." He grinned, but you frowned.

"I just… I don't get it," You said, leaning into his chest the same way you always did to find comfort. "I thought they were interested but… I just don't know…"

"What happened?" He pressed on, acting like a big brother – one of the many things he was good at.

"At the party… everyone was getting a little drunk and they started flirting with me and… they kissed me… But now they won't respond. Was it something I did?" You felt yourself tear up, all of your thoughts rushing forward.

"Of course not kid! Sure you were both a little drunk, but that doesn't mean you did anything wrong. You already said you remembered everything from that night, so it's not like you did anything and then forgot about it. If they're not interested after what happened, they're the ones missing out cuz you're a real catch."

"Thanks Sans." You smiled, but still felt a weight on your chest.

You had given in again. You sent a cute picture to them, hoping for a response. You waited for three hours for something – anything – but your phone might has well have been off. You felt tears stinging your eyes and threw your phone onto your bed. You sat on the floor with your back against the mattress and pilled your knees up to your chest.

"What's wrong with me…?" You whispered, tears breaking through and dripping thickly down your face. Your eyes stung as you cried, but you held in the sobs because you didn't want the brothers to know you were crying. At first they somehow heard every little breath you took but now that you've been settled on the surface for a few years they don't notice as much.

Your phone dinged from the bed and you shot upright and practically threw yourself onto the bed. It was a text from your best friend. You deflated a little but tried to perk up and respond. You dropped the device back onto the covered and buried your face in the pillows to muffle your tears.

"It's because I'm not skinny enough," You said, staring at yourself in the mirror. You glanced down and sliced your thigh with a large razor you managed to get from a box cutter. The sting was muffled as the blood beaded up, and it wasn't until a moment later that the real pain came, your leg almost giving out until the initial pain wore off. "Because you're not attractive."

Another slice joined the others, the pain numbing more and more until you couldn't feel anything anymore. You slide to the floor and rested your back on the tub, letting the blood stain your bare chest. You bit back a sob as your thoughts took over.

"They couldn't care less about you," A voice in your head said. "They kissed you because they were drunk and now you're being pathetic and clingy. They must hate you now because you've been embarrassing yourself like an ass."

"It's all my fault," You said out loud, your tears muddying your words. "They hate me. I'm disgusting. They definitely regret even going to that party in the first place. I ruined everything."

"Are you okay in there kid?" Sans asked from outside the bathroom. Your breathing seized in your throat and you struggled to speak. You felt your eyes widen as your breathing started to come short and fast.

"F-fine…" You managed to whimper, not sounding convincing at all. You watched in horror as the lock on the door glowed blue for a moment before clicking open. The door opened to show Sans, standing with his hands in his pockets and a sad look on his face.

"Again?" He asked, coming forward and kneeling in front of you. He tried to pull your hands away from your chest but you fought him, wanting him to leave you alone. All of a sudden, you couldn't move. His left eye was glowing faintly as you were gently lifted into the air. The blood had already started to clot so the darkening red didn't drip that much. "What happened?"

"It's all my fault…" You muttered, avoiding his gaze.

"What's your fault?" He placed you on the edge of the tub with your feet in the tub itself and turned on the warm water.

"I'm too fat for them to like me," You started crying again. "If I was skinnier or more attractive they wouldn't be ignoring me… they wouldn't regret kissing me. I didn't want to mess everything up but I did because I'm pathetic and clingy and they hate me. I deserve this…" You sobbed, the warm water Sans dabbed onto your thigh stinging more painfully than the initial cut.

"That's bullshit kid," he said once he was sure you weren't going to say anymore. "You and I both know you're an attractive, amazing person. I mean, you saved all of monster kind! That's pretty impressive. Just because some asshole at a party doesn't want to sleep with you doesn't mean you're pathetic. In fact, it's a blessin' that they left you alone because they sound like the last kind of person I want my kid to be with."

"No it's all my fault." You couldn't bring yourself to cry anymore. You wanted to go to bed and stay there for years.

"Stop," He snapped before regaining his calm composure. "Seriously kid. You need to stop this. You're not at fault for anything at all. They person made a mistake by messing with you, cuz now they have to deal with me. I'll go teach them a lesson if you want me to."

"No… let them be. It doesn't matter anymore." You said in a monotone voice. Sans nodded and bandaged your thigh carefully, his fingers skillfully wrapping the cuts. You realized Sans had to do this for you way more that anyone should have to.

"What's wrong?" He must have seen the change in your demeanor. You wanted to cry again but you really were out of tears.

"I'm sorry Sans… I keep putting you through this and you don't deserve to have to deal with this every time I have a mental breakdown."

"It's fine kid. I'd do it a thousand times if it means helping you out." He ruffled your hair and picked you up in his arms before taking you downstairs. He set you on the couch and brought you your favorite blanket. You snuggled into the warmth of the blanket and let yourself relax.

"Thank you." You said as you felt your eyes relax. He grinned and tucked the blanket in around you more before going upstairs. He passed by the bathroom and saw your phone sitting on the counter. There was a notification from the person from the party and his eye sockets went black. In a flash, the notification was gone, as if it had never been there in the first place.

Sans felt a twinge of guilt, but knew if you had seen the notification you would have gone back to what you were doing twenty minutes ago, and he promised himself back in the Underground that he would do anything to protect you.

"Sans! Watch a movie with me?" You called from downstairs, and he snapped out of his anger. He plastered his lazy smile back on his face and sauntered down to you, ready to be the best big brother.

So this is almost a continuation of the New Years Eve party chapter? Almost? I don't really know, but it's supposed to be the pain of unrequited feelings. Honestly, catching feelings is the most awful thing that can happen.

I hope your day is going better than yesterday, and that tomorrow is better than today!

Until next time~

Starlight