Don't Look Back

Bonnie took a cab back home. She slumped down in the backseat and avoided looking out the window. She felt more anonymous now that she was off the street, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched. She glanced out of the back window more than once and saw no one in pursuit, and she could be sure that there was no magical surveillance either as Marcel had somehow managed to wring all the magic out of New Orleans in a single night.

With one exception.

Her.

If there were witches who didn't know who she was, they did now. Bonnie wondered what they were doing now, mourning the loss of their powers, trying to find a way to get them back? Or were they trying to figure out how Bonnie kept hers?

If any witch should have lost them it was her. She was Klaus' number one witch, a Bennett no less. If any witch should have been crying at the moon tonight it was Bonnie. And yet she was the only one who hadn't. She was the only witch going home with her powers, but she didn't know what awaited her there.

She expected the worse: Klaus in a rage, out for blood and fixated on hers, pumping in her veins.

But that was why she had to go back.

Bonnie's legs felt like lead as she took the elevator to her floor. She thought about heading for Rebekah and Hayley's apartment instead. If she pretended nothing had happened, that nothing was wrong, maybe that would be better. But she'd only sit there reflecting on what Marcel had done and the grave he was slowly but surely digging for her. She unlocked her door and stepped inside, feeling along the wall for the light switch and flicking it on.

"I didn't think you would return," Klaus said as he was bathed in warm light.

Bonnie didn't jump. She'd have been more startled if he hadn't been there. He faced the window, lounging in one of her chairs like a serpent waiting to strike, not even looking at her.

"Why wouldn't I?" Bonnie asked, closing the door. She went to retrieve two wine glasses from the cupboard. As she pulled them down she caught sight of her hands and realized they were trembling. Setting the glasses down on the counter, she bent her fingers a few times, shaking them out in the hopes that it would suffice.

She grabbed a bottle of wine, already opened and filled the glasses, watching the burgundy liquid pool in the oval confines of the glasses. When the bottle was empty and both glasses were full Bonnie lifted hers to her mouth and drank. It tasted rich, a little sweet. She glanced to Klaus who hadn't moved.

Tension rolled off of him, like he was radiating sonar and she was the submarine, picking up his frequency and wondering what he was. She swallowed. "Klaus," she began.

"Sophie called," he said. "She was in quite a state. Very upset. Something about all the witches finding their magic inexplicably bound. Except for you," he added casually. He rose slowly from his chair and came toward her. When she saw his face, the firm set of his mouth, the ticking of his jaw, she willed herself to remain stoic.

She was innocent, she was loyal. She reminded herself. I am innocent. I am loyal. She wasn't with Marcel. She was with Klaus. I'm not with Marcel. I'm with Klaus.

Klaus came to stand right beside her. He took her wine glass from her and drained what was left of it. With a sigh, he put it back on the counter. "How is it," he said, "that you've retained your abilities? You, the only witch in this city Marcel can be certain is allied with me."

"I-"

"Take care to tell me the truth, Bonnie," Klaus warned. "I don't appreciate dishonesty."

"I'm not lying," Bonnie said. "I've never lied to you. We have a deal, remember? I do what you want, you give me what I want. It's worked for both of us so far. Why would I throw it away now?"

Klaus lifted his shoulders and looked at her. "I don't know, Bonnie," he said. "People do stupid things all the time."

Bonnie glared at him. "I'm with you. Marcel's messing with both of us. He wants me on his side, and he thinks this is the way to do it. If our bridge gets burned, he thinks I'll go to him instead, but I won't. I'm all in, Klaus. I promise I am. I-"

Someone knocked on the door. Klaus went to answer it, pulling it open and waving someone in without a word.

Elijah in his uniform dark suit.

"I heard we have a problem," he said, glancing to Bonnie before his gaze settled on his brother.

"We do," Klaus confirmed. "Perhaps several. Bonnie may be one of them." He swung his gaze back to her, and Bonnie stared back. She held the edge of the counter tightly.

"I've told you the truth," she said. "I've done everything you've asked since I've been here."

"And now you're the only witch in town," Elijah said. "Convenient."

"This is what Marcel wants," Bonnie argued. "He wants you to be suspicious of me so you stop trusting me. If you kill me, that's even better because then I'm not a threat to him either. I'm on your side, Klaus. I've never done anything for Marcel."

"You did sleep with him once," Elijah said. "Did you not?"

Bonnie inhaled slowly. Whatever Elijah's problem was, she wished he'd left it outside in the hallway where it was less likely to fuel Klaus' desire to kill her. She turned her gaze to him and said, "Once. And that was a long time ago."

"Not that long," Elijah said, hands in his pockets, pacing the length of the room leisurely. "And how are we to know you haven't been continuing your relationship?"

Klaus looked at her for the answer. He didn't even realize how easily manipulated he was, how pliant he was in Marcel's hands.

Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Because I haven't! It was once, and it never happened again. I wouldn't screw myself over for sex." She met Klaus' gaze and held it. "If that's what I wanted, there are other places to get it."

Bonnie thought she saw Klaus' mouth twitch.

The front door opened again, and this time is was Rebekah who entered. "What's all the yelling about?" she questioned.

Bonnie didn't realize they were yelling, but Rebekah had probably been eavesdropping as she was prone to doing. It was easy for things to seem loud with an ear pressed to the wall.

"This doesn't concern you," Klaus said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Rebekah stared at him. "Pretend it does. What's happened?"

As Elijah explained, Klaus' eyes remained fixed on Bonnie as if breaking his stare would mean him missing something important, the neon flashing sign of her guilt perhaps.

Bonnie felt like Tyler was written all over her. She'd never felt this way before, never felt like Klaus would be able to smell him on her, to see him reflected in Bonnie's gaze. And of course it was when Tyler wanted nothing to do with her that his presence was going to come back to bite Bonnie in the ass. She could confess, she could spill all, tell everything she knew. She could tell Klaus about Tyler, Marcel taking him in, enlisting him in plans, teaching him.

"How did Marcel do it?" Rebekah asked.

"That is the question," Klaus said. "Sophie believes he'd require a witch. A powerful one."

There may as well have been a giant arrow suspended over Bonnie's head.

"I didn't," she sighed. "I can't say anything else. I haven't done anything wrong. I'm on your side, and I have been since you brought me here."

Klaus stepped toward her again, and he reached to brush his knuckles against her cheek. She reminded herself not to stiffen, not to draw away. She was practically screaming it inside her head as Klaus' fingers moved to her neck where they closed around the column of her throat. They were gentle, but the threat was clear. One twitch of his fingers, and her neck would be snapped.

"I hope," Klaus said, lowering his lips to her ear, "that you're telling me the truth."

He released her and went out the door, taking Elijah and Rebekah with him.

Then

"Would you like a reading?"

Bonnie wasn't sure where the voice came from but she stopped where she was. She'd been making a beeline for the caricature artist on the corner. She'd always wanted one of herself, but now this woman in swaths of jewel-toned fabric was motioning to her from the round table on the street. A deck of cards sat neatly in front of her. The sidewalk witches, as Klaus had dubbed them, were always looking for a gullible tourist.

"No thanks," Bonnie said, continuing her walk, but the woman called to her.

"Come," she said. "It's on the house."

Bonnie paused and sighed before backtracking and taking the second seat at the table.

"Hello," the woman said. She was dark-skinned with corkscrew curls and fingers laden with rings. She had a kind face, one that was in a natural state of smiling. She picked up her cards. "Bonnie, is it?"

"It is," Bonnie confirmed. "And you're..." She felt her, let her magic slip and slide across the woman's consciousness. "Marian," she said.

Marian smiled. "I am. It's a pleasure."

"Likewise," Bonnie said. "So. You called me over here so what's the deal?"

Marian shuffled her cards, moving them between her fingers with purposeful cuts and separations. "I'm curious," she said, raising an eyebrow, "about you."

"Why?"

"You have an energy," Marian answered. "This city brims with it."

"It does?"

Marian only smiled. She extended the deck. "Draw six please. Place them face down."

Bonnie obliged, laying them all out until they numbered six and Marian looked down on them with satisfaction. "The first," she said, turning it over. There was a woman on a boat with six swords standing tall inside of it, rowing her way into the distance. "The Six of Swords," Marian recited. "A fresh start, the only option left to you."

The second card was the Five of Wands with men swinging at one another with long staffs, locked in battle. "It represents inner and outer turmoil, perhaps a conflicted conscience," Marian explained. "The third: The Lovers." They held hands, man and woman though neither of their faces were visible. "A union between you and another," Marian said. "Divinely blessed. You should consider all the consequences before acting. A choice must be made."

Bonnie wanted to ask her what the hell she was talking about, but Marian went on without pausing. The Seven of Pentacles showed a man gazing at a tree whose branches were heavy with coins, head cocked to the side in obvious desire. "A thirst for more than you have. You have what you've always wanted, but now you want more. There is always risk in asking for too much."

Marian moved on without looking up to Bonnie. "The High Priestess is a...difficult card. She's far too mysterious to be defined in words alone. She is the scales, keeping balance. She may also be a shadow of your inner self, the unconscious mind, the negative piece of yourself. You will never comprehend her, but through her you learn control."

Bonnie blinked down at Marian's long fingers as they touched the final card, flipping it over.

Marian was quiet, and Bonnie didn't need her explanation. "Death," she said anyway. The stallion with its inky black mane, legs reared up and eyes red and wild while its faceless rider kept hold of the reigns.

Before she could say anything else, Bonnie spoke. "It doesn't always mean actual death." She didn't know much about tarot, but she knew that much. "It can mean lots of things."

Marian nodded her agreement. "Yes," she agreed. "But it can also mean death."

Clouds rolled overhead dousing them both in shadow. Marian hummed up to the sky and stood. "Good luck, Bonnie," she said. She left Bonnie's spread where it was and started walking, not turning around even when Bonnie called to her that she'd forgotten her cards, her table, all her stuff. A droplet of water landed on Bonnie's head, and she gathered up her cards and shoved them into her bag.

Now

It was the next night when Tyler texted her. Need to see you. Important. - T

She didn't respond. She had enough trouble without running to Tyler's side when he called.

But he texted again:

Emergency.

Then again:

Please.

So she responded:

Where?

Bonnie found Tyler in front of the giant tank where he sat on the bleachers, tinted blue by the light. He didn't notice her at first. She'd gotten good at sneaking up on vampires, and she needed the time anyway - to see him and steel herself. She'd made the mistake of getting too close before, and she'd let his disapproval touch her. There was no reason to do that again not when Klaus was questioning everything about her. Coming here at all was a risk. Klaus was probably having her watched, but she'd used every measure she could think of to keep from being followed.

When Tyler looked up and saw her in the entryway, he stood. Knowing now was her cue, Bonnie walked toward him. He sat down again as she did, both of them silent. "So," she said, wringing her hands in her lap. "So what's the emergency? This about last night?"

"No," Tyler said. "I mean..." He sighed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, making sure Tyler knew she didn't feel like elaborating on her fineness. Tyler had decided whatever they were doing, whatever weird budding alliance they were going to have, was done. She was just giving him what he wanted.

"Marcel only did that because he wants-"

"I know what Marcel wants," Bonnie snapped, refusing to look at Tyler and focusing on one of the turtles instead, "and I'm not giving it to him."

Tyler thought she was the one with the shitty boss, but his wasn't much better.

"Okay," Tyler said, "but I didn't ask you here to talk about that."

"So what do you want to talk about?" Bonnie sighed tiredly.

Tyler pulled his phone from his pocket, pressing buttons before he held it out to Bonnie. "Take it," he urged when Bonnie hesitated. She took it and pressed it to her ear, waiting.

Saved message sent September 3 at 3:03 AM Eastern Time

Bonnie squinted toward Tyler, but he was looking away from her, now focused on the tank.

"Tyler," Jeremy said. "It's me, Jeremy."

The sharp pins sliding into Bonnie's heart were swift and profound in their pain. She pulled the phone from her ear. "What is this?" she demanded.

Tyler's face remained blank, expressionless. "He left me a message. Just listen."

"Why? Because you think it's gonna warm the cockles of my cold, dead heart?" she said sarcastically.

Tyler was quiet, and he looked like he was trying to measure his response. "I don't know what it's gonna make you do," he said slowly. "But I thought you'd want to hear it. If you don't," he held out his hand, "give the phone back."

Bonnie glared at his outstretched fingers and sighed as she raised the phone up to her ear.

"She said we'd talk every day," Jeremy was saying, "but we don't talk. And I can't see her. I look for her constantly, and she's not here. So naturally I assumed this meant she was alive and kicking somewhere so I looked and I looked, and...nothing. If she was alive...She'd be here, right? With me?"

The pins embedded themselves a little deeper. Her heart may have stopped beating, just a little, just for a millisecond. But it was enough to startle her, to make her want to throw Tyler's phone right at his face and leave the aquarium and never look back. The tips of her fingers felt stiff and numb where she was holding the phone. She couldn't move, not even if she wanted to. Her legs felt like they'd been cemented in place, tangled up in invisible roots.

"Remember when we used to smoke behind the school?" Jeremy asked, mumbling with the familiar grace of someone lighting a cigarette - more likely a joint - in his mouth. "Those days sucked, too," he added. "This is just like when my parents died except...not. It's worse because Bonnie was...She should be here, and she would be, if not for me. If she hadn't..."

Bonnie blinked and felt a tear, annoying in how warm and wet it was, sliding down her cheek. She hurried to swipe it away before Tyler noticed.

"Caroline was right," Jeremy said, "when she said I should have stayed dead. I should have."

One pin moved a bit deeper and punctured the other side of Bonnie's heart. Just for good measure it gave itself a sharp twist.

"I miss Bonnie," Jeremy added, and his voice cracked. "And I can't stop. I'm all alone here, and I-"

The phone beeped. The message was done, and Bonnie wanted to know what came next, what came after. Instead she got an automated voice prompting her to listen to it again. She gave the phone back to Tyler instead.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"What do you want me to say?"

Tyler shrugged. "I don't know."

Bonnie thought he probably did know.

"I can't call him," she said.

"Do you want to call him?"

She could want to call Jeremy all she wanted but then what? Once she did, he'd summon her back or he'd want to come to her. "I can't," she repeated.

"Can't or won't?" Tyler asked.

"Can't," she snapped, pushing herself off the benches and turning to face him. He didn't move, but he looked at her where he sat. "This is what always happens! I get sucked in because they're hurt or they're in trouble, and I don't see when I'm in trouble. Then I die, and I'm not like you, Tyler. I don't get to just get back up. I cannot call him."

Tyler lowered his eyes to the floor, and she wanted to grab him and make him look at her. He'd called her there, not the other way around. The least he could do is make eye contact.

"I know you think I don't care," Bonnie said, which made Tyler lift his eyes to her face, "but it's not that. No one has ever cared as much as I do, but this is the closest I've ever been to being happy since this whole mess started. This thing with me being a witch and everyone else being vampires and werewolves and hybrids. And I know that sounds ridiculous because how could anyone be happy working for Klaus? Especially after last night.

"Even this is better than the way things were, back when no one cared about me, not even me. I died bringing Jeremy back to life, and I didn't even think about it. I was dead for my high school graduation, and I didn't even think about it. I didn't care. That's not normal. So no. I can't call Jeremy. I can't look back. Sorry to keep disappointing you," she added bitterly.

Bonnie turned to go for the door but Tyler spoke. "I'm gonna call him," he said. "I won't tell him about you, but I want to make sure he's okay. Do you..." He tossed his phone from one hand to the other. "Do you want to listen?"

Bonnie considered it. What was the harm? If she didn't find out now it would pull at her and pull at her and pull at her, and who knew what she'd do to find out on her own. This was better.

Tyler dialed Jeremy and set the phone between them where it rang and rang and rang. It was the only sound there.

"It's late," Bonnie said, when the ringing went on. "He's probably-"

"Tyler?"

She shut up immediately, staring down at the phone with wide eyes, certain Jeremy would be able to hear the suddenly staccato rhythm of her heart. "Hey," he said.

"Hey," Jeremy echoed. "I-I didn't expect you to call back." He had definitely been asleep. She knew that voice, rough from sleep, confused and annoyed but right now a little relieved, to be awoken in the middle of the night.

"I wanted to check on you. You didn't sound good in your message."

Jeremy was quiet. "It was just a rough night. I'm fine," he said. "Really. You didn't have to go to all this trouble."

"Returning a call's not a lot of trouble," Tyler said.

"Tell that to Caroline," Jeremy said.

Tyler shot his phone a pointed look and didn't see Bonnie's smile. "Yeah, well," Tyler went on, "whatever. I wanna talk to you. I know you miss Bonnie. I miss her, too." He met her gaze, held it. She could practically hear his thoughts. Was he really going to do it? Just lie when he was looking right at her? When he had the solution to all of Jeremy's problems sitting at his side?

"But Bonnie's gone," Tyler said, "and she's not coming back. I know that's not easy. And it's probably never going to be easy, but she wouldn't want you to blame yourself. She'd want you to move on. She wouldn't want you to do anything stupid."

Bonnie pushed herself off the bench to approach the tank where she stared into its turquoise depths, at the creatures swimming along with their wide, black, animal eyes ghosting over her like she was invisible. She listened hard for Jeremy's reply.

Jeremy sniffed. "Yeah," he said softly. "Wouldn't want her sacrifice to go to waste would we?"

Bonnie squeezed her eyes shut and willed her chest to stop hurting.

"Jer," Tyler said.

"I know," Jeremy said quickly. "I'm fine. It's fine."

"Talk to Matt," Tyler said, "and tell him I want you to stay at my place from now on. It's yours, do whatever. You don't have to stay with Damon. Okay?"

"Thanks."

"And you can call me," Tyler said. "Whenever. I'll keep my phone on. If you need to talk, you can talk to me."

"Okay," Jeremy said. "I have to be up kinda early so-"

"Call me," Tyler added. "Okay?"

"Yeah, I got it. It was good - really good - to hear from you," Jeremy said. "I'm glad you're okay. I'll call. Bye."

"Bye."

Bonnie heard Tyler coming up behind her. She saw the flicker of his reflection in the tank as he stopped behind her, but she didn't turn. She didn't want him to see the tears threatening to spill over onto her cheeks. He raised a hand and it hovered a few centimeters above her shoulder. He was going to touch her, but he waited like he expected her to move. She didn't, and his hand rested on her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

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