Several hours into their mapping mission, they were greeted by steady rain. Mist had settled in not long after, severely limiting their visibility to no more than five meters ahead of them. Lest their notes be drenched, Eren and Armin decided to take cover in an area most densely packed with trees. Water still seeped through, but fortunately, their newly issued cloaks were water-resistant. They intended to wait the rain out, but it showed no signs of abating. Nightfall was creeping on them.
"So," Armin had to raise his voice above the sound of rain, "I didn't eavesdrop, but I take it that her long face earlier this morning wasn't a good sign."
Eren, on the other hand, did not have to raise his, "You've become an expert sleuth, Armin. Any other brilliant deductions you have up your sleeve? The identity of the Armored Titan perhaps, or vital information that Annie refuses to share with anyone?"
"Those too and that you did something stupid once more, which must be doubly disappointing for her after making love last night no less."
Eren got up from the tree they were resting against, as if stung by a bee, "What the—you! Armin! Of all people!? See, this is what I kept telling her. Our comrades will imagine all sorts of things when in fact nothing happened. I don't want that on us, dammit!"
"Relax Eren, it was a joke. And I believe you. Can you get a grip? Loosen up. Our friends won't start thinking ill of you guys. I know them, Eren. Maybe you should be trusting of other folks a little bit more."
"Oh just drop it..." then and there, something faint through the mist caught the Titan shifter's eye.
Armin did not like what he read on the other boy's face, "Eren, what is it? See something?"
"Get to your mount, Armin. That flare came from the western region of these blasted woods. Mikasa and Jean ran into something."
True enough, a faint red signature traced across the sky, miraculously cutting through the thick mist. As the two mounted their stallions, Armin held his friend's shoulder, "Eren, we should head northeast. With this bloody mist, they'll be long gone from the flare's origin by the time we get there."
"What if they need our help!? If anything happens to her—"
"They'll be fine Eren, and you and I both know Mikasa's got this. But right now, we have to trust the Captain's judgment. They'll make it, Eren."
Wrestling with the whirlwind of emotions brewing inside him, he reluctantly agreed, "Alright! Let's move! I'm not sparing this horse!"
"Just mind the low visibility, Eren. And keep an eye out for the green flare."
The faint glow of the green flare could be made out in the murky horizon not long after. They galloped as fast as their horses could manage, hoping to reach the Cleaning Point in time. They both knew the Coordinate ability would render combat evadable, effectively ensuring everyone's survival. Nonetheless, they still had to contend with heavy, unremitting rainfall and that dastardly mist. The two were compelled to slow down their pace after nearly running into trees several times. If that were not enough, daylight was also fading fast.
After riding for what felt like hours (the seed of dread played hell with Eren's perception of time), they heard a shrill whistle in the treetops above them. It was the Commander. After tethering their horses to a nearby tree, Eren and Armin ascended to Hangi's position, ignoring rain that slapped their faces and drenched their trousers.
They found Hangi perched on a thick branch. Though it probably did little good, she was looking westwards, where the red flare was fired. What she said next sent an ominous chill down Eren's spine.
"It's good you two are here. Everyone's in position except for the west team. Have you seen Jean and Mikasa?"
It can't be. They're supposed to be here by now. What's taking so long, Mika?
Armin answered for him, "Negative, Commander. Low visibility prevented us from pinpointing their dynamic position, let alone reaching it. Truth be told, with this weather, we were lucky enough to reach the Cleaning Point."
The Commander shook her head, "In that case, we have no other choice," she turned around to face Eren, and emphatically held his forearm, "Eren, I know you're worried about them, and especially Mikasa-san. But right now, our best course of action is to wait for them. Trust that they'll make it. If I lead the Scouts through this mist, we might end up doing more harm than good. Do you understand?"
Her reason cutting through his hysteria and reaching into the boy's rationality, Eren nodded. The dread settling in his belly sapped his confidence to speak.
The Commander turned to Armin next, "Armin, whatever happens, don't change for now. Under these circumstances, the Colossal Titan would be at a tactical disadvantage. We'll just have to trust Eren."
The strategist nodded, relieved at not having to transform just yet, "Yes, Sir."
And so they were subjected to the excruciating waiting game; biding their comrades on one hand, and hostiles on the other. Rainfall was clattering on leaves, trees, the soft soil beneath them, and yet there was complete silence around the Titan shifter. In straining to hear her voice, he registered nothing else, heard no other sound. His unrelenting anxiety was proving to be more lethal than the so-called Titan curse.
The enemy was the first to show.
The Titans appeared en masse, walking fast towards them. Almost as if they were relishing the feast that awaited them. Levi barked at the top of his lungs, "Now Eren! Use the Coordinate and send these bastards packing!"
Instinctively, Eren descended to ground level and placed himself between the incoming behemoths and his comrades. He focused on his task, setting aside his fear and worry for her, and the abnormals stopped in their tracks. Steady, like lapdogs awaiting their master's next order. Only matter was, Levi could already tell something was off; these Titans were supposed to scram, not linger.
"Eren, what are you waiting for?" the Captain called out, "Trying to recruit them to our cause? Get these bastards away from us!"
"I'm trying, Heichou," the Titan shifter replied, "They just won't budge! This never happened before!"
"Then hold them in place. I'm dispatching them one by one. The rest of you, stand by! Wait for my instructions! That includes you, four eyes. You can whine about my insubordination later."
The mist made it difficult to tell how many hostiles were present, and to move around with ODM gear. They could number anywhere from five to at least two dozen. The Captain had to be more methodical and calculating with where he shot his cables, slowing down his progress. Quickly maneuvering with ODM would be suicide under low visibility conditions. Levi took down three when his companions heard a man's voice calling out. He was distressed, howling like a hound who ran into a pack of wolves. Punctuating his calls were the familiar sounds of ODM gear. For whatever reason, Jean lost his mount.
And for whatever reason, he came alone.
Out of breath by the time he reached the Commander's perch, he could only tell so much "I... I'm sorry, Commander. She took them all on. She said that one of us had to make it."
Listening 40 meters below on the ground, the Titan shifter heard everything. Eren, the same Eren who told her never to give up and to keep fighting whatever happens, was brought down on his knees. He did not shed any tears; there was simply nothing. As his mind slowly registered that Mikasa was no more, so was the rest of him pulled into the void. Willpower, hope, prudence—all of these slowly faded into nothingness.
All he had left was the potent concoction of rage and sorrow, the most intoxicating substances known to mankind.
As the Coordinate effect on them weakened, the Titans took small steps towards the lone prostrate figure on the ground. The Captain took down the three closest to Eren, roaring to him all the while to keep the fuckers frozen in place. Deaf to anything else however, Eren set about on a new mission, seemingly having slipped into utter madness.
He was going to make them give her back.
The Coordinate effect having crumbled along with his temperance, her killers sprinted towards him with remarkable speed, even for abnormals. The Titan shifter bit deep, nearly chomping his hand in half, but he cared for very little at that point—least of all a mutilated hand. The expected flash and thunder of a Titan transformation stunned everything around for a second, and that was all he needed.
The silence was replaced by the loudest roar he could muster.
The first to fall took a hardened fist squarely on the face, its head disintegrating on impact. A follow-up hammer fist to the stump destroyed its nape. Before his first kill could collapse, three were already on him, and others were fast approaching. He had not taken on this many combatants for as long as he could remember. But that was not all—he could hear his friends all around him fighting for him. Dying for him—all because he screwed up the Coordinate ability.
You're not taking anyone else today.
In a heartbeat, all three were shoved away, giving him some breathing room. His bite wounds healed faster than they usually did, something he did not notice right away. The one on his left had its nape destroyed from the front, hardened fingers smashing its chest quite easily. He ducked beneath another one's flailing arms, and shoulder-rammed the abnormal hard, sending it crashing against two more Titans. From then on, it was just a matter of trampling their exposed napes. Which he generously supplied.
The enemy did not let up. Pivoting on his heel, he sidestepped a charging Titan, threw it to the ground, and stomped its nape. When another drove went for him, he took all five of them on. Hitting, dodging, tossing, making excellent use of his reach advantage and using their numbers against them. He was a wraith striking with the force of a hurricane, dealing lethal blows left and right while never staying in one spot too long. Incredible reaction time somewhat help offset the hellish, poor visibility; he always had something ready once a threat was within arm's reach.
In their own way, the towering trees aided him. He took down at least two by grabbing an arm or neck and shoving the head against the trunk, finishing them off. One of them had the audacity to climb a tree and take Eren down from above. The Titan shifter caught the adventurous one and tossed it back to the same tree, crushing its nape upon impact.
"I'm out of gas! I can't get off the ground!"
Without hesitation, the Titan shifter ran to the source of the voice, efficiently dispatching any Titan that stood in his way. In one graceful movement, he scooped up Connie from the ground with his left hand, and proceeded to fight one-handed.
I said stay away from them! Stick with me, you bastards!
He whirled all around him, utilizing a barrage of kicks, knees, and punches—all while protecting a comrade in one of his hands.
Pay close attention to what I do, as thoroughly as your base animalistic minds allow.
His fist went through the Titan in front of him; simultaneously, the arm occupied with Connie elbowed one behind Eren, right before he turned around and his fist repeated what it does best.
This is her technique. This is how she fought. You cannot take her away—she's part of me!
Another two were not any luckier. When two came on either side of him, he stepped away from the line of attack and shoved one to crash against the other, creating a sickening crunching sound. Once more, his hardened fist easily penetrated the two Titans pressed together.
Die at the power of the one you slew. Give her back, you fuckers!
When only a few of the enemy were left standing, Sasha leapt to the Titan shifter's forearm and picked Connie up, displaying remarkable strength that belied her petite figure. Not unlike Mikasa during those moments she hefted me up too, he thought morosely. He pushed those thoughts away from now. Now Eren could finally concentrate on cleaning up.
Unbeknownst to him, Hangi was closely observing his Titan form from the treetops. It was difficult to tell, and her eyes could be fooling her, but the Titan shifter seemed taller than normal. This particular transformation yielded a form no shorter than 18 meters. In addition, fairly major injuries that took him a minute to heal before now regenerated in a matter of seconds. Could these be actual features of the Attack Titan that manifest only now?
That was not all. Eren was simply walking towards the remaining abnormals, seemingly having gassed himself out. What's strange however, is how the three or so abnormals were taking it. They were exhibiting never before documented Titan behavior—fear. Under normal circumstances, the abnormals would have lunged at him without second thought nor regard for self-preservation.
It all happened so fast. In the blink of an eye, all three abnormals were dropped, never to rise again. The Titan shifter let out a blood-curdling roar, apparently calling and challenging any abnormals that were left.
Several minutes passed. None came. They had won.
The Commander checked her men. Miraculously, none of them were seriously hurt. Connie was a little shaken, but would otherwise be fine. Sasha was silent as a mouse, like she often was after every firefight. Levi had not changed one bit, telling her to check on the others, not him. Armin told the Commander he was alright, but it was impossible not to see the grief in his eyes. Jean put on a brave face, though losing a comrade clearly took a bigger toll on him than the recent battle.
Witnessing the others' sorrow, she could only imagine what Eren was going through right now.
Speaking of Eren, the Titan shifter had not left his Titan form yet. He was kneeling by the fallen abnormals splitting their abdomens open, as if looking for something. Or someone. The Commander landed on his massive shoulder, once more trying to talk sense to the grieving boy.
Give her back! She isn't gone! That just can't be.
"Eren, I'm so sorry... But Mikasa's no more. There's nothing else we could do here."
The Attack Titan hunched forward a bit, and Eren emerged from its nape, the characteristic Titan sinews still attached to his cheeks. Rainfall fell on his exposed, fatigued body immediately, chilling him to the bone.
"There's... there's not even a body to bury. I can't see her face one last time, or lay her bones to rest. The bastards took everything. Like they took my home, my Mom, our comrades."
Even as he said those words, a small spark of hope yet remained in him. Part of him believed she was still out there, fighting for survival. Barely hanging on, but very much alive. He knew that if there was someone who could make it through impossible odds, it would have been her. Nothing could have been more tantalizing, but he clung to the small sliver of hope like a madman clutching at the last vestiges of sanity.
"Eren," the blonde boy landed on his other shoulder, a look of determination shining in his eyes, "I'll help you look for her tomorrow at dawn, after the storm passes. But right now, we're in no condition to conduct a search-and-recov—rescue operation. Everyone's gassed out, the two horses we have left won't last long in this weather, and daylight's on its last legs."
"Armin's right, Eren," the Commander asserted, "We're not even sure if the area's clear of Titans. I'll only be risking their lives tonight."
"Then don't, Commander," replied the Titan shifter, who was surprisingly calm, "None of you have to. I know it's asking for a lot, but I need to set out for her tonight on my own. I wasn't there when she was attacked. Let me be there for her now. If she... if she's gone, then I must bury her. I'll not allow wild animals to pick away at her remains."
Hangi was silent for a moment. Eren was certain she would deny his request, right until her next words belied his suspicions.
"Will you venture out in your Titan form, or on horseback?"
"I'll set out in the Attack Titan, Commander. I'd cover ground more quickly that way. I can't begin to tell you how torn I feel right now, but I haven't eliminated the possibility that she's still alive. If that's the case, I need to get there before infection festers in her wounds."
"So you'll need the powerful lamp and some medical supplies."
"We have those in the saddlebags," Armin quipped, "I'll get them for you."
"If there's anything else you need, tell Armin. You have my permission to set out. I'll be telling the others to head back to camp. Just promise me one thing Eren. Whatever happens, whatever you see out there, come back to us. We'll be waiting for you. Promise me that, Eren."
From her words, Eren knew—the Commander did not believe she was still alive. The medical supplies were the grieving boy's hope and solace, not the missing girl's necessity. For this, he neither judged nor resented her.
"I do. You have my word, Commander. Thank you."
After a few moments, Armin returned with his provisions and more in fact. The blond added rope to the powerful lamp, allowing it to be looped around the Attack Titan's neck. Armin brought him a blade in a leather sheath as well, without the cumbersome ODM gear. The medical supplies on the other hand, could be stored inside the Titan's "cockpit" so to speak. Besides the first ever piece of illuminating Titan jewelry and a first aid pack, Armin delivered a large canteen of water and vital information as well.
"I talked with Jean, and he recalled some helpful landmarks in the area where they split up. He said that there was a cave system just a few meters north of the area. They parted by a small hill, and the cave was at the foot of the said hill. When he looked back, he also remembered seeing some dead trees, apparently struck by lightning many years ago. It's not a lot to go on Eren, but it's still better than nothing."
"Agreed. Thank you Armin, for everything," said the Titan shifter, repeating his words the other night, "One more thing. Tell Jean that it's okay, that what happened isn't on him. Tell him that for me, Armin."
"I will. But that... that wasn't all actually. I pondered for a while whether or not to tell you. But I guess it wouldn't be right to protect you from the truth, even if it brings pain."
"I'm in a hurry, Armin. Get to the point."
"Very well. Before they split up, Mikasa asked Jean to tell you something. She told you to live well, and that—"
"I've heard enough," said the Titan shifter, grateful for the rainfall masking his steady stream of tears, "That's enough Armin. I must set off."
"Are you sure, Eren? She would've wanted you to know this."
"I'm sure, and I said enough. Now get off my fucking shoulder," though the stubbornness was there, it lacked the usual bite of his remarks.
"As you wish. Godspeed, Eren. May you find your way back home."