Lex lies in her tattered bed, writhing in pain. For the hundredth time, she tries with all her meager might to quit.
As the angels grace leaves her system, it flays her alive, as if taking revenge on her for stealing it.
Tears flow down her cheeks, and she screams Dean's name into her pillow. Oh what she would give to have him here. His mere presence would sooth her burning flesh.
She sobs, her body racked with agony. Her hands clutch to the side of the mattress, until they ache with effort.
She rolls over on her back, and sees her reflection in Elijah's troubles eyes. She is pail and thin. The dark circles under her eyes are alarming, and her lips are cracked and bleeding.
She feels the edges of her vision blur. "No. No no no, please." She weeps.
Elijah shakes her shoulders. "You have to stay awake Lex!" He shouts.
But despite her efforts to cling to consciousness, she blacks out again.
When she comes to, she looks around, unsure of her whereabouts. The walls are spattered in blood, and there is a dead angel lying at her feet.
She looks in the mirror on the door, and lifeless, ice blue eyes stair back.
She bends over, laying her hand on the angel's battered face, closing her eyes, and reading his past.
So far she had been lucky in her blackouts. Every angel she had killed had it coming.
The verdict comes back, causing her to fall to her knees, and cry out.
Innocent.
This angel was innocent.
She has taken a blameless life.
She looks at her blood-covered hands wildly, and vanishes, reappearing in the house.
She rushes toward the bathroom, and Elijah follows her.
"You killed again?" He asks disappointed.
She doesn't answer. Her hands burn, as she scrubs them in the scalding hot water, but she does not feel clean.
She walks back to her bed, and sits down, defeated. She buries her head in her knees, and cries.
"Lex it's okay, we'll get it next time." He tries to comfort her.
"You don't understand Elijah, he was innocent." She weeps.
Elijah does not answer. He merely wraps his arms around Lex and let's her cry her fill.
…
Dean stands on the front stoop of the bunker, clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels Whiskey like it is the last cable, mooring him to his dream world. The world where Lex still gives a damn about him.
He stares down at it, his red-rimmed eyes standing out against the dark circles below them. He considers flinging it across the yard, but he can't seem to let it go. Just like he can't seem to let her go.
It's been four damned months. He should be over her. He should be able to have a few one-night stands, and then settle down into his usual routine of being alone.
But he can't.
He gives up and drifts back inside. Sam sits on the couch, looking up at him, worried. "You okay?" He asks.
"Not even a little." Dean says, his voice rough and low.
"It'll get easier." Sam promises.
"Save it." Dean replies, sitting down on the couch, and flipping the TV on.
Castiel materializes in the middle of the room, causing Sam to nearly jump out of his skin. Dean does not react.
"Dean we need to talk." Cas says.
"Talk to Sam." Dean replies, placing his head in his hands, exhausted.
"It's about Alexandros." Cas insists.
"Did you find her?" Dean says, suddenly attentive.
Cas sighs, and lowers his head. "No, but I found her aftermath, again."
"I don't need to hear this shit man." Dean says, his shoulders slumping.
"Dean, it was an innocent angel this time. One of my friends." Cas says, his eyes sad.
Dean stands up, agitated.
This accusation is like salt on the already gaping wound Lex's absence has inflicted on him. "Then it has to be something else that killed him."
"Throat ripped out, angel grace gone." Cas says, his eyes lowered to avoid Deans hateful gaze.
"Well your friend must have been an undercover douche. Lex wouldn't kill and innocent. No way in hell." Dean growls.
"I know this hurts to hear, but I knew Elias, probably better than any other angel. He was good. Alexandros did this, and she has to be stopped."
"What do you want me to do about it Cas?! Hunt her?! NO! I can't. I WON'T. You can't ask me to."
"I wouldn't if I had any other choice." Cas says, despondently. "I am an angel. If I go after her, I would only be her next victim."
"Please Cas. Don't ask me to do this." Dean's hands shake, as he is overcome with anguish.
"If you and Sam can't, I will have to try. I won't watch my friends die." Cas replies softly.
"Dean," Sam lays his hand on his brother's shoulder. "We might not have to kill her. We just have to stop her. We can't ignore innocent lives being taken."
Dean looks at Sam for a few moments, and finally speaks. "Fine. We can find her, and try to talk to her. But I want you to know, I will let her kill me, before I would hurt her."
"Dean, if she is killing innocents, if she tries to kill you, Lex is gone. The one we knew, anyway. I won't let you die for a monster." Sam replies.
Before Sam knows what hits him, Dean has him by the throat, pressed against the wall. "DON'T YOU EVER CALL HER THAT, YOU HEAR ME?!"
Castiel pries Dean off of Sam, and Sam rubs his throat. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." He backs down. "We'll talk to her. Just talk."
Dean turns and storms out the front door, and the Impala's engine roars, as he drives off.
Sam sighs, and runs his hands through his hair. He wonders down the hallway, and into Lex's bedroom.
He stops in the doorway, and his eyes run over her undisturbed things. Dean refused to let Sam clean the room out, and now Sam is grateful for that. He takes Lex's brush off the counter, and pulls her loose hairs out of it.
He stops, and looks up at the ceiling. "Jeezus Lex," he sighs. "You really fucked Dean up when you left."
"Let's get this over with." Cas says from the doorway.
They go to the pantry, and pull out the various ingredients required for a locater spell, spreading them out on the map table.
...
Lex walks toward the hotel, a cardboard box of thick chains and bolts in tow.
"Hey Lex!" Elijah comes out of the front office, and takes the box out of her hand, walking along beside her. "What's in the box?" He queries.
"Chains." She answers honestly.
"Whoa I didn't know you were into that." He laughs, eyebrows raised.
"I'm not." She replies. "Hey do you have a drill I can borrow?"
"Probably." Elijah says, handing the box back to Lex, as they are now outside the door. "I'll go check."
Lex dumps the chains on her bed, and walks back outside. Elijah hands her the drill, and takes off toward the front office to check in some new customers.
Lex drills the bolts through the chain ends into the floor, then she lays in her bed, waiting.
She will not fail again.
As the days pass, the pain grows. Her chest heaves, and her throat burns.
Elijah sits with her as often as possible, waiting.
Finally, when she feels she can't take it anymore, she crawls into the floor, clamping the manacles around her wrists, and ankles. She curls up in the floor, and waits for the darkness.
...
Dean and Sam walk up to the counter, where a bright-eyed teenager has just rushed up, out of breath, to check them in.
"Two queens." Sam says.
"Sure thing." The kid bounces nervously, running their card.
"You got somewhere to be?" Sam asks, bemused.
"Nope." The kid says, shoving the keys into Sam's outstretched hands.
They walk out, and Dean stops outside the door and moves behind the dumpster, motioning for Sam to follow.
"What are we doing?" Sam asks, scrunching down.
"Kids acting weird. I wanna see something." Dean replies.
Sam shrugs, satisfied that his brother is at least speaking to him again.
The boy pokes his head out of the screen door of the office, looking around. He walks out, and rushes down the sidewalk, and around the back of the hotel.
Sam and Dean leave their hiding spot, and follow him. Around the back of the hotel is a rundown little house. The boy ducks inside, and Dean and Sam move up to the window, listening.
"Dean?" Someone groans.
"No, it's me, Elijah." The boys voice replies sadly.
"Elijah you can't be here." The voice replies, voice full of fear. "I'm about to go again, and I don't know how this will turn out."
"I'm not leaving you Lex." Elijah says.
"Lex." Dean whispers.
Seconds later, the bedroom door flies open under the force of Deans foot, and he and Sam enter, weapons drawn.
They stop short, in horror at the spectacle before them.
Lex lays in the floor, in a tiny, wretched mass. Her wrists and ankles are chained to massive bolts, preventing her from moving very far.
Elijah jumps up, standing between the boys and Lex.
"Who are you?!" He cries.
Dean holsters his gun, and walks forward, ignoring the boy's alarm.
He pushes past Elijah, and kneels before Lex, lifting her up into his arms.
"What happened to you Lexi?" He says, his voice breaking.
Her eyes flutter open, and she takes in Dean's face, "Dean, I'm trying." She croaks.
"Where are the keys?" He says, looking around to Elijah wildly.
"I don't know! She chained herself up!" The he says, backing away.
"Dean, NO." She yelps. "Leave me. You have to-" Her eyes close again, and she goes limp.
"Lex? Lexi..." Tears fall down Dean's cheeks, dripping onto her face.
Her head jerks, and her eyes open, this time they are grey and empty. She snarls, and lunges for Deans throat.
"What the hell?!" Sam grabs his brother, pulling him out of the way.
Lex struggles against her bonds, wailing and cursing. "Free me!" She growls.
Dean steps back with wide-eyed horror. "What is happening to her?!" He demands of Elijah.
"I don't know! Usually she has already disappeared by now! This is the first time she's ever been chained!" He replies.
Sam blinks hard. The manacles make sense now, as does the loss of innocent life.
"Stay here and watch her." Sam commands, running out of the room.
Elijah walks toward Lex, palms forward. "Where are the keys, Lex?"
"The keys..." Lex hisses. "They are in the drawer. Free me."
He turns to pull the keys out of the side table, but Dean intercepts. "You can't let her loose kid. She is really sick, and really powerful."
Lex wails, and struggles against her bonds. The cuffs slice into her wrist, and she begins to bleed.
"I've never seen her like this." Elijah says. "This isn't her!"
"You're right about that." Dean says.
Sam runs in, with a tranquilizer gun from the Impala's trunk.
Before Dean and Elijah can react, he points and shoots. Lex falls to the floor, unconscious.
"You SHOT HER!" Elijah cries, lunging toward Sam.
"Easy kid!" Dean grabs him around his waist, holding him back. "It's a tranq gun!"
Elijah stops struggling, and Dean puts him down.
Dean pulls the keys from the drawer, and un-cuffs Lex. Sam lifts her to the bed, and Dean runs to get the first aid kit. They douse her wrists and ankles with hydrogen peroxide, and wrap them in cotton bandages.
Elijah runs to the bathroom, and comes out with a cold, wet washcloth. He folds it and lays it on Lex's head.
"It looks like we will have to keep her sedated until this shit wears off." Dean says. "Which should give you plenty of time to explain who you are, and why the hell Lex is here."
"You must be Dean." He replies. "Lex talks about you all the time. My name is Elijah. As for why Lex is here, she wondered across this place after she left you guys. I gave her a job, and we became friends."
Elijah goes on to explain what happened with his mom and dad, and how Lex has been trying to quit all along.
"It's been really hard on her, so you guys should cut her some slack." He finishes. "Don't hurt her."
"Why would we hurt her?" Sam says quizzically. "Lex is family. We love her."
"She thought you two would kill her if you ever saw her again...after she accidentally killed the innocent angel." Elijah explains.
"Well she was wrong." Dean says.
"She is gonna come to again soon." Sam interjects, "We need to chain her to the bed."
Elijah brings the drill in, and they reposition the restraints around the bed, clasping one to each of her limbs, overtop of her bandages.
When she wakes up, her head rolls, and then snaps up. She looks around psychotically. "Where am I?"
"In the house still." Dean says, his arms crossed.
"Really Dean? I thought you loved me." She hisses. "Let me go."
"Consider this tough love." Sam says.
"We're gonna get you clean." Dean adds.
"You morons just don't get it, do you?" She smirks. "I don't want to be clean."
"Maybe 'psycho' you doesn't, but the real you does. If not, you wouldn't have chained yourself to the floor." Dean points out.
"Fuck you." Lex replies, jerking against the chains.
"You might as well get comfy. You aren't going anywhere." Sam points out.
She glares at him. "I'm thirsty."
Dean walks out, and comes back with a plastic cup of water. He offers it to her, and she sneers.
"Not thirsty for that. I want grace. Where's Castiel?" She cracks a deranged smile, and cocks her head to the side.
Dean flinches, but does not respond.
Lex begins to struggle again, so Sam injects a syringe of clear liquid into her arm. She becomes sedated again, and Dean sighs.
"How long do you think this will take?" Elijah asks.
"I don't know. This is all new." Sam replies, "I am gonna have to get an IV drip set up to keep her hydrated. I'll be back in a couple of hours."
He walks out the door, leaving Dean and Elijah to watch Lex.
"Hey, I'm gonna make dinner." Elijah says suddenly. "Lex mentioned you are a fan of burgers?"
"Uh, thanks man, but I'm not really hungry." Dean says, not taking his eyes off of Lex's face.
"Well I'm sure you will be soon enough. I make awesome burgers." Elijah replies, walking out of the room.
Dean watches Lex, as Elijah cooks. He misses her smiling face, and her amber eyes.
He brushes one of Lex's stray hairs off her forehead, and sighs. "I'm sorry this happened. It's our fault. We were in trouble, and you did this to save us. Your life would be so much better without us."
"I disagree." Elijah says from the doorway, startling Dean. "I've seen Lex without you. She hasn't been truly happy once since she's been here. Content, but empty somehow. She needs you. You give her a purpose that is more than just hunting dick angels. You are what makes the human part of her truly fulfilled."
Dean looks at Elijah, really examining him for the first time. "Thanks for looking after her man. That means a lot."
"She helped me a lot too." Elijah points out.
"That's Lex." Dean replies.
"What's it like to be a hunter?" Elijah asks, pulling a chair up beside Dean, and handing him a burger. "Lex said you're heroes."
"I don't think we are. We were raised hunters. It's not like we chose it." Dean replies. "And once you're in, you can never get out."
"But you save people." Elijah responds, looking at Dean with a recognizable light in his eyes.
"Don't even think about it kid." Dean cuts in. "Hunting is not something anyone should choose. You own a hotel, and you are set to have a good life. Enjoy it. Forget that monsters exist."
"We'll see." Elijah replies. "I've been exposed to that world, and like you said, once you're in..."
"Got the IV." Sam interrupts, rolling in a drip bag on a metal stand. He inserts the needle into Lex's arm, taping it down, and starts the drip. "This bag will keep her hydrated, and sedated."
"Good." Dean says. "Let her sleep through the withdraws."
...
It's been three days since they sedated Lex. Dean forces one of her eyelids open, and her eyes are back to their original, beautiful amber. Sam turns off the IV drip, and they wait. A few hours later, Lex's eyes flutter open. She looks around, blinking hard. When she spots Dean, she tries to sit up, but her bonds stop her.
"Dean?" She whimpers.
Dean stands up, and leans over Lex, "How are you feeling?"
"Thirsty... Can I have some water?" She asks.
Elijah runs out, and comes back with a cup of water.
Dean lifts Lex's head, and gives her a drink.
"Is that... All... You're thirsty for?" Sam asks.
"I think it's all out of my system." Lex sighs.
"There's only one way to know for sure." Dean replies, and leaves the room. He walks outside, and calls toward the sky. "Cas?"
"Yes Dean?" Cas says, materializing from thin air.
"Hey buddy, we found Lex. She is here."
Cas's eyes widen, and his jawline ripples. "Where?" He growls.
"Calm down," Dean commands, stepping forward. "She has been out of it for a few days, getting clean. She wasn't conscious when she killed your friend. Every time she tries to get clean she blacks out. We think it's out of her system, and I want proof before I let her loose. She is chained up, can you go to her?"
"Are you sure she won't get loose?" Cas says carefully.
"Yeah," Dean replies.
Cas moves forward, but Dean puts his hand on his chest, halting his progress.
"She is really weak. You won't hurt her?" Dean requests reassurance.
"I won't." Cas promises. "Not that I could. She is, after all, still Alexandros. She merely has to imagine my demise, and it will happen."
Cas continues into the room cautiously, risking his own life, to prove that it is safe to free Lex.
Dean follows, his eyebrows scrunched together.
Lex looks up, and sees Cas. She pushes back against the bed, and squeezes her eyes shut.
She feels the desire bubble up in her, and she grasps the sheets. 'No.' She thinks. 'I won't. Castiel is my friend.'
She opens her eyes, and looks into his worried eyes. The edges of her vision begin to blur. "No!" She says aloud.
Cas begins to back toward the door nervously, and Dean moves in front of him.
Lex looks at Dean, and suddenly her eyes are clear. She doesn't need grace anymore. She just needs him.
"I'm okay." She says, relaxing.
Sam slowly unlocks her manacles, and she sits up on the bed.
"Cas?" She says timidly.
"Yes?" He replies carefully.
"I'm really really sorry." Her head hands, and tears flow down her cheeks.
"I know you weren't you. I know you didn't have control." Cas says, as he walks over and wraps his arms around her shoulders.
"Thanks." She sniffs.
Dean sits on the bed, and pulls Lex into his lap, wrapping his arms around her, and rocking her back and forth gently. "It's all going to be okay now." He says. "I love you."
"I love you too." Lex replies, burying her head into Dean's chest.
...
A week and a half later, Lex loads a ratty suitcase into the Impala's trunk, and slams it shut. She takes a step back, and bumps into Elijah.
"You don't have to follow me around so closely." Lex laughs. "I told you I'm not leaving without you."
"I know you wouldn't. But Dean would. He doesn't want me to come." He says turning red. "But if I follow him around, he might punch me. I know he won't leave without you, and you like me, so I'm sticking with you."
"Elijah, it's not that Dean doesn't like you. It's quite the opposite. He thinks you have a good life here, a business you own, and run successfully. He doesn't want you to waste all this to hunt. It's not as glamorous as it sounds." She sighs. "He doesn't want you to come *because* he likes you."
"What's all this mean if I'm alone?" Elijah sticks his chin out defiantly. "Mom told me to stick with you, and that's what I'm gonna do. Besides, I've already sold the hotel. Got a good price for it. So I'm not leaving empty handed."
"I know." Lex smiles, ruffling his hair, "I, for one, am glad you're coming."
Dean starts up the Impala, and Elijah jumps in his dad's old F150. Sam climbs in with Elijah, and Lex rides with Dean in Baby.
She settles into the passenger seat, and laces her fingers through Deans.
"I'm so happy." She smiles. "My whole family together again."
Dean grins back at her, then peels out of the parking lot, and Elijah follows.
"Let's go home." Lex practically sings.