Oh wow, this one is… really late. Sorry about that. I've had a lot of crap going on over the past two weeks and haven't had much time for anything else. I did manage to read "Divergent" by Veronica Roth though and am currently working angrily through "Insurgent". I'm hoping to see the movie sometime next week with my best friend. Anyway, hopefully this chapter makes y'all cry. That's what I was aiming for anyway, but I know I didn't achieve it. Have fun!

Disclaimer: I do not own Ghost Hunt

Chapter 16: Undeveloped

Mai, Gene, and John stood outside the door. Mai leaned against it, pressing her shoulders into the wood as she listened silently to Naru's story. Once Monk had asked his question, only silence enveloped the room beyond. Without so much as a sigh, Mai pushed off the door and silently walked towards the girls' room.

Pushing into it, she found the small duffle bag that Gene had brought with him without a problem. Rummaging through it, she pulled out clean clothes for herself before walking around to Ayako's bed and throwing clothing at Gene. "You're taller than me now," she explained quietly, her mouth and eyes expressionless. She was focused on the task at hand, keeping her head down like a reprimanded child. "My clothes won't fit you anymore. Do you want underwear and a bra?"

Gene glanced down at himself and the clothes he held to his chest, an oversized sweater and dark blue leggings, things that he was surprised Ayako even possessed. "I'm pretty sure the bra is very much unneeded. There's not much here, and I'll just go commando. It doesn't bother me."

John's face lit up like a dry Christmas tree. Cracking open his bible, he buried his nose deep within the pages, covering his burning face. He coughed self-consciously.

Mai smiled a small smile, but not one large enough that would advertise that she was okay. She wasn't, and she couldn't find a way to hide it. It simply leaked from her every pore. "Gene, that's gross. You probably shouldn't be talking about Nat that way. She'll skin you alive when she gets back," she said, her voice almost monotonous.

Gene's frown was so minuscule that neither John nor Mai could catch it.

"Let's go," Mai mumbled, ducking past her friends and through the door, hiding her face behind a thin curtain of hair. She moved down the hall, almost another ghost in a house filled with them. "Where is the bathroom?" she asked, not looking over her shoulder to the pair behind her.

John closed the door softly, sighing as he looked at Mai's back. "It's just down the hallway to your right and on your right again. It's not hard to miss. It's across the hall from a pair of French doors," he called to her, but didn't move after her.

Gene at his side echoed his sigh. "She tries so hard, but she can't hide that she's hurting," he murmured, running a hand through his long black hair.

"And what about you, Gene?" John asked, looking to him with sad, concerned blue eyes, the eyes of a friend.

Frowning, Gene looked over at him, away from Mai's retreating back. "What do you mean?"

"You were the one in her body for most of the…"

Gene sighed, looking up towards the ceiling. "Just say it. Get it over with. It's a fact, and you can't hide it. Eventually, someone will have to say it"

Nodding, John continued. "…for most of the miscarriage. You carried her child for three months, longer than she ever did. And you knew for a longer amount of time. How are you? Are you… alright?"

Gene was silent. He didn't want to lie to his friend, someone who was simply trying to help him, but he couldn't admit the truth. He may not have the female mentality, but he felt the loss in the deepest core of his being. If he admitted the truth, it'd make it real, it'd bring the pain slamming into him all over again. He'd break. He didn't know if he'd be able to pick up the pieces again. So instead, he opted for simple silence, neither an affirmation of denial.

Rubbing at his arm, John glanced back down the now empty hallway. "I can't pretend to know what the two of you are going through. I don't, and I won't pretend to. But if you need someone to listen, I'm here. I'm your guys' friend, and I want to help you through this."

Nodding, Gene turned to move down the hallway.

"And Gene?" Gene stopped, glancing back over his shoulder at the Australian not-so-much-priest. "I'm not trying to preach to you, and I don't want to insult whatever religion you may or may not follow, but… things happen for a reason. They may not be good things and they may not be good reason, but they still happened. Maybe… maybe Mai just wasn't ready for this next step in her life. Maybe… you both just need to wait for that step."

Gene smiled. His parents never raised him to be religious, but he still appreciated the sentiment. "Did you just give me the 'God works in mysterious ways' speech?" he asked, his voice rough.

John laughed, a little nervously. "I guess a little bit. That wasn't exactly what I was intending. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Gene sighed, staring up at the ceiling, his eyes searching for something only his subconscious was aware of. "Thank you." They were silent for a long moment, simply staring off in opposite directions. Neither were sure if it was because they were giving Mai time to herself or if they weren't exactly sure if they should leave the conversation at that. "I'm going to go find Mai, make sure she's alright. Could you just stand outside the bathroom door? We'll be out sometime soon."

John nodded and followed Gene down the hallway and around the corner.

Gene paused in the doorway, glancing over at John one last time. "Thanks again."

"No problem, mate." John smiled brightly, and Gene disappeared into the bathroom, his smile falling away as he the door closed behind him.

…..

Mai sighed a little in relief when the pair didn't follow her. She needed to think. She needed to be alone. She needed to figure out how to school her feature back to something relatively happy. She needed to figure out what this meant, how badly it truly hurt her. She didn't want to cry again, but the moment she pushed into the bathroom, the tears began to fall.

Pain ripped through her chest, the kind of pain that hurt more than physical pain, but felt like a gunshot to the heart. It was worse than anything she'd ever had to deal with, even worse than when her mother died. Worse than when she thought Naru hated her. Worse even than when she thought the twins were Naru's, that he would never be able to love her.

Allowing her tears to trace hot paths down her face, Mai slowly began to undress herself. She hadn't seen her body in months. She thought it would feel more familiar when she returned, like a homecoming, but all she felt was ripping pain and an all-consuming emptiness.

She dropped her sullied, bloodied clothing outside the shower stall she stood in, letting them sit in the path that the water would travel. She slipped out of her bra, dropping it on the pile, and finally her underwear. When she pulled them down, a small pouch of about six inches long sat in the hammock that they'd made.

Frowning, wiping the remaining tears from her face, she stepped out of her underwear and crouched beside them. "What… what is that?" she whispered to herself. Reaching out gentle, cautious fingers, she scooped the pouch into her hands.

Her frown deepening, Mai moved to the sink, turning on the water so a soft, warm stream trickled from the tap. She washed the pouch, or more rightly the sac, turning the water pink. Waiting until the water ran clear again, she moved into better light and stared down in horror at what she held.

What she cupped in her hands was a faintly transparent sac. Within the sac, a barely four inch fetus had been beginning to grow. She could see its eyes, its nose, its fingers and toes. It had features. It once had a heartbeat. And somehow, that made the realization that she wasn't going to be a mom to this unlucky child, that her child would never get a chance to live, all the more real.

An ugly, ragged sob tore from her throat, moving with a torrent of tears. Her knees cracked against the tile sending sharp stabs of pain up her legs, but that was nothing compared to the pain ripping her chest open, tearing her heart to shreds. A sob mixed with a quiet scream shuddered through her body. She rocked back and forth, clutching the barely developed child to her chest, right over her heart.

"Why?" she sobbed, pressing her forehead against her knees, curling protectively over her child. "Why did this happen this way?"

The door behind her creaked open quietly. Biting down hard on her lip, she repressed the cry that worked to burst from her chest, tasting blood on her tongue. The door closed with a soft disturbance of air.

"Mai." Gene dropped down beside her, wrapping his hands around her shoulders. "Mai, what happened? Are you hurt?" As gently as he could, he pulled her torso forward and away from her hands, staring down at what she held. Immediately, he could feel his heart shrivel and crumble into the finest particles of sand. "Oh, Mai…"
"It's not fair," Mai cried, her sobs broken and wild.

"I know, Mai, I know," Gene whispered, wrapping her in his arms. He pulled her head against his shoulder, running his fingers soothing through her hair. Tears pressed against the backs of his eyes, his face heating for the oncoming wave. A sob was building in his chest, slowly pushing its way up his throat.

Mai buried her face in his neck, allowing herself to be held, to be comforted by the only other person who could have possibly understood what she was feeling. "I don't understand. Why? Why did this have to happen? It's not fair."

"I know it's not fair, Mai. I wish it wasn't that way," Gene murmured, hiccupping in an effort to force down that sob still resting just behind his breastbone. "If I could change it, I would. I wish I could do something, anything to change this, but I can't, no one can."

"I know," Mai keened, letting her hands fall to her lap. "I couldn't do anything to save my child from my own body. He will never get a chance to live all because of my body. What kind of mother am I?"

"The best kind," Gene whispered, pressing his lips to the side of her head to keep them from trembling as he spoke. "From the months I've had with the twins, you're a fantastic mother, and when you have a child of you own, you will still be as fantastic. It just… wasn't the right time," he said, taking a note from what John had said to him.

"I don't care," Mai moaned, pressing her forehead further into the side of his neck, letting her tears trickle across his skin.

Gene shuddered. Mai's tears were warm and silky against his neck, and suddenly, his were accompanying hers. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Mai," he whispered, having nothing left to say. He folded his fingers over hers, covering the child that could have lived if not for him.

Well… that wasn't as sad as I was looking to make it, but it will suffice. I hope it was acceptable. Next chapter we should be seeing more case related things, but I'm still not sure what I am going to have Ash attempt to do, but we'll see how it goes. He's just been a little preoccupied lately. I have a swim meet tomorrow, so I'll try to come up with something during my waiting. See you next chapter!