Giving up Loving on

Ch. 3 Giving it up

Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews. This chapter is longer. The beginning is a little repeat of the last chapter. The next chapter will be in Derek's point of view. I hope you enjoy and thank you again.

Cindy

(Penelope's point of view)

This was it. I could do this. It would be okay. I kept self talking. I was nervous I won't lie this will be very difficult.

I am going to give up all forms of flirting with Derek. It was something I didn't want to give up. I hoped it wouldn't hurt him. I should probably tell him. I just can't bring myself to tell him.

I called my friend Sarah from that brought me to the church. I told her that I planned to give up flirting with Derek for Lent. She was shocked but agreed to support me. She did think I should tell Derek so I didn't hurt his feelings. I felt Derek would then make it easier on me.

The team was on a case still. I knew Derek would be calling anytime now. I tried to prepare myself for Derek's call. I couldn't remember ever not flirting with him except when I was angry. Luckily for me that next call was from Hotch. I was relieved yet more nervous.

"Baby Girl I need some information." Derek said as I picked up the phone.

"What can I do for you?" I asked him softly.

"Adam Wells we think you might be our guy or know who is." Derek said.

"I'll send his info." I said quickly.

"Is everything alright Angel?" Derek asked.

"Just tired." I answered.

"You should go home and rest." Derek said.

"Yeah I probably should." I said quickly hanging up.

A few hours later the Unsub was caught. The team was headed home. I decided to go home. I already felt sad. Maybe I couldn't do this. I might not be strong enough.

I was partly glad and partly sad that Derek didn't call. I felt the tears starting to fall. I called Sarah as I cried. I was glad that Derek had his girlfriend to fill up our weekends. I also had my boyfriend and then church to keep my weekend busy.

Derek called a lot during the weekend. He seemed so concerned. I felt so bad. I never wanted to Hurt Derek. He's my best friend and I love him.

Monday was a terrible day. Derek kept coming to my office. I felt so guilty for not flirting. Derek seemed worried. He didn't say much though.

I hoped the team wouldn't figure it out for a while. I felt as though I needed to do this. I wanted to show my dedication. I tried staying busy. I didn't need to think.

Derek asked to hang out. I quickly said I was busy. I wasn't sure I could keep this up if we were alone together. I did actually have plans with my boyfriend. I broke those plans I just didn't feel like going out.

Sarah came over and we watched movies. I was glad to have her. She was helping me. I told her all about Derek. She gave me a smile and said he sounded really nice.

I didn't look forward to work. I just didn't know if I could keep this up. I felt like I was lying. I hate lying.

I called Brother Joe. I told him about everything. He was very supportive. He did say I needed to do what is right for me. He said I shouldn't hurt my friend. I was clearly hurting myself. I also told Brother Joe about Derek's faith issues. He said that I was right not to force things on him. He also said everyone has to have their faith in their own time.

I felt a little better. I knew these would be the toughest days. I hoped I could keep going without hurt Derek anymore. There was something I was willing to do but lose Derek wasn't one of them.