Gosh, this story is my baby! I adored writing it and am loving the sequel I've got going on! Hope you all continue to enjoy!
As much as he hated to admit it, Roy owed Edward for giving him a break to go home, shower, and gather some clothes. As the warm water hit his weary body, he knew he could never actually tell the Elric boy that for fear he would actually take him up on the offer, but he felt the thought was enough.
He scrubbed the soap through his hair and just took a minute to take a breath. It felt like he'd gone forever without actually breathing, and his heart was finally beating at a much more normal pace. For the first time, he felt the weariness in his bones and the ache as he moved the lathered soap around his body.
And worst of all, he couldn't get the image of Riza, face down on the carpet, out of his mind. Or the image of Riza, bloodied and battered on the battlefield. Or with her throat slit.
He shook his head, trying to get the thoughts to leave him alone. She was going to be fine. She was just sick and needed someone to take care of her, and then she would be back at the office. He had to convince himself of that, otherwise, he didn't know what he'd do.
He turned the water off and stepped out, grabbing a towel and drying himself off. He wanted to sink into the familiar embrace of his bed, but he needed to get back to Riza's house. He knew Edward was more than able to watcher her, and she would likely be asleep for most of the day, but he had to get to her. It wasn't a rational necessity, but instead, one that came from his heart. And, for the first time in a long time, he refused to ignore it.
The Colonel changed into casual, comfortable clothes-a black shirt and jeans, and carefully piled clothes into a small bag. He also grabbed a pillow of his that he liked to sleep on, not that Riza didn't have guest sheets and pillows, but Roy craved the comfort of something familiar. He also picked up some soap and his toothbrush and toothpaste from the bathroom, so he could shower and wash up at her place.
"Huh," he said to himself as he stared in the mirror, admiring the bags that had formed under his eyes. "I always dreamed of staying the night at Riza's place. But not like this." He placed a hand on his cheek, feeling the stubble of a beard growing in and also made the decision to grab his razors. He hated that he grabbed them because that gave him the sense that it would not be a short visit to Riza's home.
As he collected his things and walked out the door, he had to question why he felt so protective of his Lieutenant. Of course, that was a silly thought. He knew exactly why, and after all the time they'd spent together and everything they'd been through, it was no wonder he felt so close to his Lieutenant. They'd fought side by side for years, had known each other for longer than that, and together had taken down the evil that plagued the city. The idea of losing her was something he dared not think about, for fear of dragging himself into a rut for days on end. Losing Riza would mean losing life itself for Roy. It was absolutely not an option.
Lost in his thoughts, he almost missed the turn to walk down Riza's empty, cobblestone street, but he caught himself just in time. Within another minute, he was back at her door and letting himself in. Black Hayate greeted him with a wagging tail and lick to Roy's hand. He tossed his jacket over a chair in the kitchen and threw his pillow and overnight bag onto the couch before heading upstairs.
He heard a voice and knew that Edward was talking to Riza, and he felt bad that Riza might have woken without him being there. But, he figured as he pushed the thought away, she was awake. And that was what was most important.
He opened the door to find Edward mid sentence, sat on the chair. A laugh was on his lips and he seemed to enjoy talking the Lieutenant's ear off. More importantly, he looked over to Riza and found himself staring for a little longer than was probably normal. She was sat up against the pillows, leaning heavily back into their comforting hug. Sweat formed on her brow and her hair was tangled and a mess. Her face looked thin and pale, and the purple bags under her eyes were deep and bold, but goddammit if she didn't look absolutely stunning.
The sun hit her golden hair, making it glow, and the light caused her eyes to appear even more vibrant. Anyone who thought only blue or green eyes could be stunning were sadly mistaken, because her amber ones were the most beautiful things he'd ever seen.
A soft smile rested on her lips, and had he not known her as well as he did, he might have thought she was bored out of her skull. But, she was interested in whatever Edward was talking about, and he knew that because the only time she ever pretended to be engaged with anyone was with him.
As he took another step into the room, both blondes looked over at him. Edward smirked, and Roy knew they had been talking about him. Damn brat. Riza's lips moved just slightly, but she didn't have the strength to form a full smile.
"Lieutenant," he greeted and then glared at the boy. "Fullmetal," he groaned. Then again, he couldn't complain too much. The shower was much needed and now he had his clothes. "I sincerely hope you haven't been keeping my Lieutenant awake."
"No, no, I only woke up a few minutes before you came in," Riza said weakly. "With him going on, I was able to drink some water and eat a little something." Roy felt his softer side showing when she confirmed she was alright and stepped further into the room. Ed was currently in the chair, so he perched himself on the end of the bed.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, studying her face carefully. His worry for her was plainly shown on his face, and even Edward noticed how gently Roy became when he was directly talking to his Lieutenant.
"Better," she said. "Still exhausted, and very warm." She started coughing into her hand, and Roy moved to get closer to her, but the coughing spell was over as quickly as it began. "I'll be good as new tomorrow." Her voice now sounded hoarse, and she wouldn't have been able to convince the most gullible man alive that she would be better the next day. But, Roy didn't want to argue with her, so he just helped her sip on some more water.
Roy turned to Edward. "Well, thank you," he finally said, though he was reluctant to thank the boy. Old habits die hard, he supposed. "I appreciate you giving me the chance to run home and grab a few things."
Edward stood to leave. "Yeah, well, anything for the Lieutenant," he said with a smile to the sick woman. Roy was irked by that, but he was also irked by nearly everything the young Alchemist did. But really, Ed was glad to help. As much as he liked to antagonize the Colonel, he also was happy to help out.
The boy saw himself out and Roy was able to return his focus to Riza, who looked at him questioningly. "You went home to get things," she asked as Roy moved from the bed to the chair Edward was previously occupying.
"Yeah, just a change of clothes and some toiletries." he shrugged.
"Oh, you don't have to stay here," Riza said, embarrassed that her condition caused Roy to feel the need to take care of her. "I'll be alright."
Roy frowned at her. He loved this woman more than he cared to admit even to himself, but if she wasn't the most irritating, stubborn thing in the entire world… "Lieutenant, you nearly passed out from walking from your room down to the kitchen. If I hadn't been there, you would be on the ground right now." His tone took a much sharper edge than he'd intended, and Riza looked away in shame. The fell silent for a long moment, and Roy felt bad for speaking so harshly to her.
"I'm sorry, Riz… Hawkeye." He said with a long sigh. "I just wish you wouldn't push yourself so hard."
"I apologize as well, sir," she said, still not meeting his gaze. "I am not used to being… like this." She gestured to herself as she lay on the bed. "I will do better, sir."
"And another thing," Roy started as he placed a hand on her shoulder. The touch caused her to look over at him and he smiled gently. "I know I'm your boss, but you don't have to 'sir' me after everything you say. You're sick, I think I can grant you a pass."
"Yes, si-" Riza laughed. "Some habits die hard. Do forgive me if I mess up."
"Of course." Roy and Riza talked a little more and, although she was weary, she couldn't bring herself to get to sleep. So, they decided to head downstairs, get her some medicine and water, and watch television. Riza dozed on one end of the couch, and Roy pulled the coffee table closer to him so he could use it as a makeshift desk.
At some point, as the day wore, Roy finished his paperwork and leaned back on the couch to watch the boring daytime television, and Riza moved into a sitting position on the couch, as she had grown hot with a blanket over her, and her legs were tired from laying down. Eventually, Roy realized, she had fallen asleep, her head buried into his shoulder. He hadn't even noticed the woman move, never mind fall asleep on him, so he was surprised when he looked down to see her resting peacefully against him.
At least, he felt, she looked peaceful. The purple circles under her eyes were still far too bright, and her face too pale, but her brows were relaxed, and her lips were parted. Her breathing was light and constant, and Roy couldn't pull himself away from staring at her.
He placed a hand atop her head and felt her silky, tangled hair. He gently pat it down and started smoothing it, and soon he fell into a rhythm of stroking her hair.
God, he loved this woman. He'd never loved anything the way he loved her. Seeing her so sick and weak broke him, but he also cherished the time he had to hold her. He placed his chin on top of her head and sighed. Losing her would kill him quicker than any bullet ever could.
He must have dozed off because when he found himself opening his eyes, the room was dark and the sun had gone down. Careful of the woman sleeping on him, he moved to turn on a light and peered down at the Lieutenant, who had fully turned herself into the warmth of his body. Gently, he pulled her away and she mumbled something in her sleep. She looked alright, though a little warm and pale, but then again, that was nothing new.
"Lieutenant?" he asked, shaking her lightly. He figured it would be best to wake her and make sure she didn't need anything before getting her to bed. She mumbled something again, but tiredly opened her eyes and looked up at Roy.
"Oh, Colonel, I'm sorry," she said quickly as she realized they were very close to each other and pushed herself away from him. "I must have fallen asleep." Roy just chuckled and stood, holding a hand out for his embarrassed Lieutenant. She took it and stood, wobbling slightly, but she was able to walk to the front hall with his hand on her shoulder to steady her.
"Do you need anything to eat? Drink?" Roy was asking her, but Riza felt far away. She didn't feel like she had completely woken up and was moving about in a daze. As they neared the stairs, she stopped short and no prodding or light pushing moved her. "Lieutenant?" Roy asked, realizing she had frozen in place.
Riza mumbled something that Roy didn't quite catch and he looked at the woman with great confusion and worry. Before he could ask her another question, she bolted into the kitchen and began heaving into the sink.
Roy ran in after her and paused very briefly, watching as Riza threw up the contents of her stomach-which consisted of only water and some toast-into the kitchen sink. He quickly came behind her and pulled her hair back as she coughed and hacked, and then tried to take a stuttery breath. He didn't know what to say, or if he should say anything at all, but rubbed circles on her back with his free hand until she stopped throwing up liquid and was tiredly dry heaving. Her knees buckled and Roy caught her before carefully sinking to the cool kitchen tile with her.
"What the hell happened, Riza?" he asked, brushing the sweat-drenched hair from her face all formalities were gone and were instead replaced by pure worry for his friend.
"I got sick." she panted out.
"Well, obviously," Roy replied, annoyed, but not with her. "Did you feel sick? You should have told me. You can't keep pretending to be fine when you're not!"
"It happened so fast," was all Riza said. She knew the Colonel was not mad at her, but his anxiety was making her anxious as well. She struggled to find a rhythm to her breathing, and eventually managed to take sharp, but steady breaths. She looked up at Roy and he noticed an unguarded fear in her eyes. They both knew then that something was terribly wrong.
"Sir, I-" she started, but the words died on her slightly parted lips. She froze and her back stiffened and Roy knew something terrible was going to happen, and he wasn't going to be able to stop it. Black Hayate came pouncing into the room, barking and whining, but Roy's focus was on the woman in his arms whose eyes had begun to roll back.
"Riza!" Roy called when he realized she'd lost consciousness and he shook her out of desperation. Her body began to shake and convulse, as though she was possessed. "Riza, snap out of it!" Roy called as he held onto her more tightly, trying to prevent herself from banging her head on the counter or smacking her arms or legs against the unforgiving tile floor.
She continued to shake violently for what seemed like hours, and then she began to cough and hack, gasping in between. Roy had never seen anyone like this before, and certainly never thought he would see his beloved Lieutenant in such a state. He was so focused on trying to get her body under control that it took quite a while for him to realize that the white shirt Riza had been wearing was now stained with blood, and the crimson liquid dribbled out of her mouth.
"Shit, fuck, Riza!" Roy called to her, as though saying her name was all that was needed for her to stop. He grabbed a cloth from the counter, struggling to both reach up and hold her at the same time. He wiped the blood from her mouth and then pulled her close to him, as she had gone still in his arms. They sat like that for a while, Roy holding her as close to him as was physically possible while he focused on her light and shallow breaths.
"Fuck, Riza," he mumbled again before he stood and scooped the unconscious woman into his arms. He looked at Black Hayate who was peering up at him with pitiful, curious eyes. He opened his mouth to tell him she was fine, but then couldn't bring himself to even lie to a dog. Instead, he just turned himself so he wouldn't have to look into those eyes and carried Riza upstairs.
He laid her down in bed and regarded her with newfound fear. If he wasn't careful and didn't do everything exactly as it needed to be done, there was a very real chance he could lose his Lieutenant.
As he placed a new cold cloth on top of her burning forehead, the woman shifted in the bed and moaned. She tried to open her eyes and managed to do so halfway, but her vision was blurry and she couldn't really see.
"Roy?" she whispered out, all formalities gone in her haze as she was desperate to know if the man was there.
"Shhh," came a quick, but gentle reply. Riza fell silent for a moment, glad to know he was in the room. He grabbed her hand and dried her face of the sweat with his free hand.
"This isn't." She took a long breath. "Normal."
"Riza," Roy said and they both knew he was conveying that he wanted her to be quiet with just the tone of the word. He didn't want her to waste the energy, but more importantly, he couldn't stand hearing her voice sound so broken.
"Something… is… wrong," she breathed out, ignoring him.
"Please, Riza." He was begging. If she didn't stop, he was going to lose it, because he knew something was wrong, and that this wasn't normal, but he had no idea how to fix it. And, if he had no idea how to fix it, he might not be able to save her. If he couldn't save her, he didn't know what he was going to do.
"Something… bigger is… going on." She breathed heavily through each word and then groaned in pain from exhaustion. Tears pricked her eyes and she felt so useless. They fell, streaming down her cheeks and then dripping onto the pillow.
"Don't cry," Roy said, no, begged. He reached forward and wiped them away, trying his damndest to swallow the lump forming in his own throat. "Dammit, Riza I know. I know, and I don't know what it is. But you are going to get better. Understand? You're still under orders not to die, got it?" He was losing it and he grasped her hand, trying to stay grounded. If he didn't hold onto her hand right now, he was going to fall into a million pieces, and no amount of Alchemy was ever going to put him back together.
"Yes, sir," came the shaky reply. Roy couldn't help but smile at that. He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back, and he sank into the chair next to her bed.
"Are you going downstairs?" she asked after such a long pause that Roy thought she'd fallen asleep.
"No. I'm staying right here."