Author Note: Another day of sickness…which means another chapter for all of you! ^_^ I love being able to write all day and night and update this much while at home sick, but don't get used to it as I'm probably going to go back to work tomorrow. =P:::
I don't own Sailor Moon or any songs and have tried to the best of my ability to site my references.
Takeuchi, N. (1991). Sailor Moon. Bunkyo, Tokyo, Japan: Kodansha Ltd.
Buzbee, Frampton, D., and Shapiro, T. (2011). I Will [Recorded by Dia Frampton ft. Blake Shelton]. On Red [CD], Santa Monica, California: Universal Republic Records.
Elofsson, J. (1999). Sometimes [Recorded by Britney Spears]. On ...Baby One More Time [CD], New York, New York: Jive Records.
The term "cliffnotes" is used as a proprietary eponym in this fiction piece and does not refer to the CliffsNotes company or brand.
The company 'Mineralogy' that appears in this work is fictitious. Any resemblance to real businesses, existing or defunct, is purely coincidental.
Chapter 26:
- If you're feeling like the queen of nothing's working and you question every choice you make, when you're sick and tired of being so uncertain and everything you thought was right is lost along the way, who's gonna always have your back? Who's gonna be a friend like that? I will. I will. Who's gonna try to make you laugh, remind you life ain't all that bad? I will. I will. Anytime, anyplace, I don't care. No questions, no judgements, I'll be there. -
Minako found herself softly singing along to the uplifting pop-country song as it played over the radio while she drove to Karin's house. She had gone home to drop off her things, check her mail, freshened up, and immediately went back out to a couple stores to buy some things before heading over.
Now, with the monotony of driving to her friends' home, Minako felt uneasy. Yesterday was a whirlwind of emotions. She still felt very conflicted about a certain devastatingly beautiful archer, a nervousness plaguing her as she thought about their relationship.
As she drove, she began smiling dreamily as she remembered the date from the night before. It was unbelievable. Her hand reached up and gently touched the locket around her neck.
I should put the photos we took at the beach in here,she thought as she played with the locket between her fingers.
Her smile widened at the memory of being able to touch Rei for the first time. The outcome could have been much worse, but it turned out better than she expected. She was getting somewhere with Rei in regards to her aversion to physical contact.
Her smile slowly disappeared as the memory of what happened next. The uneasiness settled again in her chest. Minako was, to say the least, floored by the whole thing.
She knew better than anyone that sometimes things just didn't work out in relationships. It wouldn't be anyone's fault. It just was, no big deal. Which is why it frustrated her to no end when Rei began questioning her. Why would she, of all people…say the things that Rei allegedly heard?
But Rei had no reason to lie to her, no reason to make something up like that. She promised to be honest with Minako, which practicallyguaranteed that she wasn't lying. Which is what made it so difficult for Minako to swallow…what Rei was alleging had to be true.
She felt…vulnerable. She wasn't unfamiliar with the feeling, it was something she usually felt when she would couple with another person. It was not unlike how she felt when she allowed Rei to dominate her at the hotel. But that was a different type of vulnerability…an exciting one. She liked it…wanted it sometimes. It was something she was very comfortable with.
No, this vulnerability was more…terrifying. What made it even moreso was not knowing exactly why it was so terrifying. Rei was searching…probing for something. Minako didn't know what she wanted and Rei just kept…pressing. She felt trapped, cornered, perhaps even a little betrayed…Why was Rei doing this? It didn't make sense, it was all so confusing.
Then, out of nowhere, Minako just started…talking. She was shocked by what came out of her mouth.
I can't believe I said all those things,Minako thought to herself.
She shivered slightly as the memory of Rei asking her to be her girlfriend hit her hard. She had never been comfortable with the idea of being tied to someone like that. It was just something she couldn't bring herself to do. What was the point? It was just a word, a useless label. It wouldn't sustain their relationship…or stop them from breaking up.
But what floored her the most, what caused her to feel overwhelmingly stunned, was Rei's promise. Minako didn't know what to make of the beautiful archer. She was giving herself to Minako in an emotional sense, willingly laying them bare and exposed to her, without asking for anything in return. She had, essentially, given all the power to Minako to make or even break them…or worse…to break her.
I can't believe how much she trusts me,Minako thought to herself. Thought it still baffled her, unable to understand why the archer would do such a thing, Rei's promise made her feel…safe in a way. She very much liked the idea of being with Rei for a long time.
- You tell me you're in love with me like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me. It's not that I don't want to stay. But every time you come too close I move away. I wanna believe in everything that you say 'cause it sounds so good. But if you really want me, move slow. There's things about me you just have to know. Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide, sometimes I'm scared of you. But all I really want is to hold you tight, treat you right, be with you day and night. Baby, all I need is time -
Minako's thoughts were interrupted by a familiar pop song that began playing next over the radio. Her face turned pensive as she listened to the words.
Iwas about to run,Minako thought to herself. She took an irritated breath, Damn Rei-chan and her abilities! She's just as bad as Michi-chan!
She shook her head slightly as she half-smiled to herself, But it's still incredible she can sense that…She's so incredible.
Her smile slowly disappeared as she sighed dejectedly, "What am I going to do?," she said aloud to herself.
Did she like Rei? Yes, very much so. Did she want Rei to be with her? Abso-fucking-lutely!
Could she…be Rei's girlfriend? Could she ever willingly and completely give herself emotionally to someone like that? The thought of being so attached…
An uneasiness began settling in her chest. The thought of being so vulnerable, to allow someone to wield such power over her…it terrified her.
Did she trust Rei? Yes, there was no question. She knew the caring archer would never hurt her, could feel it in her touch, see it in her eyes, hear it in her smooth voice. She tried to think of a reason why she would be so frightened, but no answer came to her and she scoffed aloud in frustration.
Yes, she had dated quite a few people prior to Rei. Had the question come up before to be someone's girlfriend? Yes, many times and she always said no. Eventually, the relationship would end, confirming to Minako that it probably wasn't meant to be.
Things happen for a reason, she remind herself. Usually after her relationships ended, she would breathe a sigh of relief that she had the wisdomnot to take that next step.
But this was different…Rei was different. No…she was special. Minako couldn't deny how much she felt for the beautiful archer. A cold shiver ran down her spine at this realization. The depth of her feelings for Rei was…almost indescribable. Yes, she liked others before, loved her sister and her friends dearly.
But this…this feeling…was something else altogether. Practically in its own category. What would happen if she ever let Rei…or anyone for that matter…get too close? The thought made her hold her breath, fighting back tears.
Maybe it'd be better for both of us if I just ended it now,Minako thought to herself, Rei-chan deserves so much more…so much better than me.
The image of Rei's rare, violet eyes gazing wide back at her with such sadness when she thought Minako was going to leave last night interrupted her thoughts. Minako shook her head, No, I can't hurt her like that. Not after how much progress we've made. Not after…she placed so much trust in me.
She turned left down a quaint street, Plus…I can't stand the thought of not being with her. And she still wants to be with me even though I'm so fucked up. If she's willing to try, maybe…maybe I can too…for her.
A familiar house came into view and broke her out of her train of thought. She smiled as she pulled into the driveway of a two-story townhome. She began to feel herself relax. She was excited and eager to see her friends and sister again after what seemed like such a long time, especially after all that's happened since they all last saw each other. If anything, it would at least serve as a distraction from her uneasiness.
She turned off her car and gracefully stepped out and shut the door. She was about to go to the trunk and retrieve some grocery bags when she paused and braced herself against the door of her car. A flash of sharp pain shot through her head and quickly disappated, leaving behind a dull ache. Minako groaned quietly as she found her footing again, bringing a hand up to massage her temple.
Too much thinking,She smirked to herself as she shook her head. She continued to her trunk, collected the items she brought with her, and locked the car. She headed to the front door and rang the doorbell.
A petite woman with long, wavy, light-taupe hair, and kind pale-blue eyes opened the door, "Ah, Mina-chan! Come in, come in!," The petite woman said in a soft voice. She opened the door wider to let Minako in.
"Hi, Azumi-chan!," Minako beamed when she saw her friend, Ishi Azumi.
FujiiAzumi now, I guess, Minako giggled to herself. She entered the house and took off her shoes. She gave the woman a big hugged and handed one of the bags over to the petite woman, "I brought a bottle of wine for dinner. The snacks and chick-flicks are for later."
"Great!," Azumi replied. She looked in the bag Minako gave her and pulled out the wine, "Oooo, a Chianti!," she said eagerly.
Minako giggled, "You said you were making Italian tonight so I thought this would be good."
"Mmn, this is perfect!," Azumi nodded appreciatively as she looked up at Minako. Her eyes were immediately drawn to Minako's neck, "Wow! That's such a pretty necklace!"
"T-Thanks," Minako blushed as she touched it.
"Is it new?," Azumi asked as she peered closer to examine the locket.
"Y-Yeah," Minako said shyly, "I got it from…someone I'm dating."
"Aaah, I seeee," Azumi sang knowingly. She began walking towards the kitchen and gestured for Minako to follow, "C'mon, we can talk about it while we eat. Dinner's almost ready!"
Minako followed Azumi into the house towards the kitchen where Karin was laughing at a story Usagi was sharing,
"Oh my Gods, Usagi-chan! I can totally see you doing that!," Karin said as she laughed. She was leaning back against the sink as she held her stomach laughing, "I wish I was there to see everyone's face!"
"I swear! I didn't know it was for everyone!," Usagi whined. She was standing next to Karin making big jestures with her arms to emphasize her point.
"It's a fucking buffet! Why the hell would you think it was just for the models if you were the only model on the shoot that afternoon?!," Karin laughed fully. Tears were coming out of her eyes and she was beginning to sound like she couldn't breathe from laughing so hard.
"Mou, Karin-chan!," Usagi pouted, "I was hungry! It was a really long shoot and-Oh! Mina-chan!," she smiled widely as she saw her twin sister. She bounded happily towards Minko.
"Hi, Usa-neechan," Minako said as she caught her sister in a big hug.
"Look what Mina-chan brought for us for dinner, honey," Azumi said as she walked over towards Karin and handed her the bottle before setting the grocery bag she was carrying on the counter.
"Oooo! Thanks, Mina-chan!," Karin said as she nodded to Minako.
"No problem," Minako replied, "Hey, do you have any asprin?" she asked, directing the question to Karin and Azumi.
"Why? What's wrong? What happened?," Usagi began questioning with concern as she released her sister and quickly brought a hand up to feel Minako's forehead.
Minako rolled her eyes and swatted Usagi's hand away playfully, "Nothing, nothing! I just have a headache, that's all. Probably just dehydration or something."
"Here," Azumi replied as she approached and traded Minako a glass of water and two small, white tablets for the other grocery bag in Minako's hand so she could set them on the counter.
"Thanks," Minako said gratefully as she popped the pills in her mouth and chased them with the water.
"OH MY GODS, MINA-CHAN!," Usagi exclaimed, almost causing Minako to choke on her water from being startled. She looked to her sister, who was looking down at her neck, "Is that Mineralogy?! Where did you get that necklace?! It's gorgeous!"
"U-Ummm…," Minako stuttered, embarrassed by the attention.
"C'mon, Usagi-chan," Karin interrupted playfully as she pushed herself off the sink and headed towards the twins, "She can tell us while we eat, I'm starving."
"Mmn! Me too!," Usagi said cheerfully, she grabbed Minako's hands in her own, "C'mon, help me set the table!"
"Why don't I help you with that instead?," Azumi said kindly as she rested a hand on Usagi's arm, "Give Mina-chan a second to breathe and say 'hi' to Karin first?"
"Mmn, ok!," Usagi nodded happily as she released Minako's hands and followed Azumi to the kitchen cabinets to collect the place settings.
Minako took a deep breath and sighed, she'd almost forgotten how overwhelming her older sister could be sometimes.
As Karin came over, Minako met her half-way and brought her in for a big hug, instantly relaxing into it.
"Hey, sweetie, you ok?," Karin asked softly with concern as she hugged Minako back. She was surprised by Minako's action, it was as if she were looking for comfort within the embrace.
"Mmn, I'm good," Minako replied softly. She kissed her friend on the cheek, "It's good to see you again," she said warmly.
"Mmn, I'm glad you could make it," Karin replied as she kiss Minako on the cheek. When the hug ended, Karin brought her hand up to examine Minako's necklace and whistled appreciatively, "It is pretty. It really suits you."
Before Minako could reply, Usagi was right next to her and pulling at her arm, "C'mon, c'mon! I'm starving!" she whined.
"Yes, Usa-neechan," Minako replied obediently. She allowed Usagi to drag her to the kitchen table, which was just around the corner from the kitchen.
The friends sat down at the table, Usagi across from Azumi and Karin across from Minako, and began to dig in to the dinner Karin and Azumi made, which consisted of a home-made lasagna, salad, and garlic bread. The meal paired nicely with the wine Minako brought for the dinner as well.
"Mmmmm…Gods, this is so good, Azumi-chan!," Minako said as she ate her first bite.
"Mmn! Super good!," Usagi said as she began helping herself to a second-serving.
"Calm down, Usagi-chan," Karin teased, "I know you're a bottomless pit, but some of us want to eat too, you know!"
"Mou, Karin-chan!," Usagi pouted as everyone began laughing.
The conversation from there turned to Usagi's most recent trip to Australia with Mamoru where they did a photoshoot for a pretigious designer who wanted shots for some promotional material. The friends laughed at her antics while Usagi pouted as they made fun of her.
Azumi talked about her real-estate company and how she was able to close escrow for some clients who she had been working with for months and were looking at a short-sale apartment. As their dinner began winding down, with the Chianti finished and a bottle of Syrah half-way done, she cleared the plates so the friends could enjoy continuing to chat.
Karin talked about her first day in her new position at Kirei's corporate office and how it was nothing like she expected. She still enjoyed her work, but since she had to deal with so many negotiations with partner companies, she began considering going to law school to help her be better at her job.
"You should totally do that," Minako encouraged, "You'd be such a good lawyer, Karin-chan!"
"I already started looking into it. I have to put in a request to see if they'll allow me to take the time to do it and then another one to see if they'll give me some professional development funds to help pay for it," Karin smirked as she looked at Minako playfully, "Not like someonewho's so talented that they're guaranteed a degree." Minako blushed and looked down at the table.
"Hmm?," Usagi said as her eyes darted questioningly between Karin and Minako.
"Ah, Karin told me that your promotion included a full-ride to any MBA program of your choice!," Azumi said excitely as she poked her head around the corner, "That so exciting! It must mean they really believe in your talents if you're the only one who's ever gotten that!"
"WHAT!?," Usagi exclaimed. Her friends and twin winced at the high-pitched noise, "MINA-CHAN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!? THAT'S SO AWESOME!"
"Mou, Usa-neechan!," Minako chided, "There's absolutely no need to yell!"
At her own statement, Minako smiled to herself as she recalled when Haruka said the same thing to her when she realized who Rei was at the wedding. Her brief, dreamy look didn't go unnoticed by Karin.
"Yeah," Karin smirked. She continued to look at Minako from the corner of her eyes as she spoke to Usagi, "But I think Mina-chan wanted to wait before she looks into that, right Mina-chan?," Her question interrupted Minako's thoughts, causing Minako to blink a few times,
"O-Oh, yeah. Yeah, I do," Minako stuttered in reply.
"Speaking of work," Karin said, easing into the next topic, "Usagi-chan told us you met someone recently at work?"
Minako blushed crimson, "Y-Yeah," was all she could manage.
"It's Hino Rei! Can you believe it!?," Usagi exclaimed, "She came into Kirei after you and Azumi-chan left and they hit it off really well. She was also part of the wedding we were at last week and they ended up hanging out every day since then! Mina-chan told me she was going to take her on a fancy date yesterday too! You should have seen them, they're so cute together! Hino-san's really into Mina-chan and she's so pretty in person! Like a-"
"Are you dating Hino Rei or is Mina-chan?," Karin teased as she winked at Usagi, "If you are, you should really tell Mamoru-kun how he made you switch sides. I'm sure he'd love it."
Usagi blushed and pouted as she crossed her arms. Though Minako was mortified by how much Usagi had already disclosed, she allowed herself to giggle at the exchange, glad that Karin was able to shut her sister up.
"So, Hino Rei, huh?," Karin asked as she looked at Minako.
"…Yeah," Minako nodded shyly. A small smile pulled at her lips at the mention of Rei's name.
"And how's it been?," Karin asked.
A flash of worry came across Minako's face before she quickly shook it off and smiled, "Good. Really good."
Karin, having dated, worked with, and become close friends with Minako, caught the brief emotion Minako attempted to hide. Her face turned to concern,
"Mina-chan, are you sure-," she began before she was cut off by Usagi.
"Hey, hey! Tell us about the date you two had last night!," Usagi said enthusiastically.
Minako blushed as she smiled softly. She reached up and touched her locket absently as her eyes took on a dreamy, distant look, "It was…amazing," she sighed.
"Tell us, tell us!," Usagi exclaimed, nearly bounching out of her chair from excitement.
"Wait, wait!," Azumi exclaimed from the kitchen, "I want to hear all the details from the beginning, not just Usagi-chan's cliffnotes!"
Minako blushed as she recounted the story of how she met Rei at Kirei, keeping it brief and superficial so as and not to share more critical details like Rei's abilities.
"So that's why you didn't bring the sake tonight," Karin smiled slyly.
"S-Sorry," Minako said sheepishly as she looked at her hosts apologetically.
"No, don't worry about it!," Azumi waved her hand to dismiss Minako's concern as she came back to the table and sat down. She winked, "I'm glad it went to good use. Please, continue."
Minako blushed more as she continued with her story. She shared how they met again at the wedding and how they'd been seeing each other all week since then. She eventually got to the celebratory dinner in Kyoto last night,
"SHE FLEW YOU TO KYOTO FOR DINNER IN A PRIVATE JET?!," Usagi exclaimed.
"Mou, Usagi-chan!," Karin scolded, "I'm only 21, I don't want to be deaf at such a young age!"
"But that's, like, a big deal!," Usagi said with an excited, wide smile.
"So she gave you the necklace last night then?," Azumi asked.
Minako looked at her with surprise, "Y-Yeah, how did you know?," she asked.
"You keep touching it whenever you say her name," Azumi smiled warmly, "It's cute." Mianko blushed deeply, unware of her own actions.
"Isn't she a really private person? She always seems really cold and distant in her interviews," Karin said as she thought aloud.
"She is a private person," Minako replied. She smiled dreamily, "But she's anything but cold. She's caring and gentle and kind. And she really likes kids, she's adorable with them."
"Awwww, that's so cute!," Usagi said.
"So, it does sounds like everything's going well," Karin said, bringing the conversation back to the details of their relationship, moreso wanting to get back to the worried look that Minako had earlier, "Is there anything that's not going well?"
"Blunt as usual, honey," Azumi sighed as she shook her head.
"I just want to know," Karin said defensively as she raised her hands innocently, "If anyone's going to be dating our Mina-chan, they'd better come right is all I'm saying."
"N-No, everything's good," Minako smiled in reply, but Karin could see it didn't reach her eyes. There was a hint of nervousness in her voice. She knew Minako was hiding something. She turned to look at her wife briefly, as if silently communicating with her. Azumi smiled knowingly and got up,
"Hey, Usagi-chan?," Azumi asked kindly, "Can you help me clean things up in the kitchen and put stuff away?"
"Sure!," Usagi said eagerly. She got up and went to the kitchen with Azumi.
Once the two left the room, Karin got up and grabbed her wine glass and the bottle of Syrah. She looked at Minako and smiled softly, "C'mon, let's go to the patio."
Out on the patio, the sun had already set but the dusk sky was still lit with soft purples, blues, and a touch of orange, making for a very romantic scene.
But Minako had a foreboding suspicion that this was going to be anything but as she nervously sat down in one of the cushioned, patio chairs that was set next to a square, glass-topped patio table. She set her glass of wine down on the table in front of her as Karin took the seat across from her.
Karin filled her glass and Minako's before setting the bottle on the table. She took a sip of her wine as she looked at Minako with concern. Setting her glass down, she rested her elbow on the table and propped her chin on her opened hand.
"Mina-chan," Karin said softly, "Tell me what's going on."
"What do you mean?," Minako asked as innocently as she could as she brought her wine glass to her lips and took a sip. She looked back at her friend with bright, sapphire doe-eyes.
"C'mon, Mina-chan, don't be like that," Karin said disappointedly, "It's me, sweetie. You know you can talk to me."
Minako sighed. Having dated Karin and become close friends with her for a little over three years now, she knew how protective she could be and knew she had seen through her façade. It was hard to hide things like that from her. Minako dropped the ruse, allowing her countenance to become pensive as she looked down at the table,
"There's…," Minako began hesitantly, "There's a couple things…"
"Like what?," Karin prodded gently.
"But we're working on them," Minako said dismissively as she looked up at Karin with a half-smile, "We're fine. I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about." She took a big sip of wine to help her calm her nerves and hoped that Karin would drop the subject.
She didn't.
"Mina-chan," Karin said in a low voice, "Hino-san isn't…She isn't hurting you, is she? If she is, I swear to the Gods-"
"W-What!?," Minako sputtered, almost choking on her wine. She coughed to clear her throat and set her glass down, "Gods, no! It's nothing like that!"
Karin raised an eyebrow and looked at Minako skeptically. Minako raised her hands up and waved them frantically, "No! Absolutely not! She's…" Minako slowed her hands and rested them on the table as she looked down and blushed, "She's great, actually," she whispered, "She's…the best and most amazing thing that's ever happened to me."
Karin's blinked a few times in disbelief. She could always tell when Minako was telling the truth and knew Minako was at this moment. What shocked her was Minako's honesty. Usually when she would talk about someone she was dating, she was bubbly, nonchalant, casual. Now, to see her so shy, sharing so honestly, this was something new.
After a few moments, Karin's eyes softened, "Good, I'm glad to hear it," she said. She took another sip of her wine, "So what is going on, Mina-chan?"
Minako's face turned pensive again. She brought her glass up to her lips and sipped her wine nervously, "I just…I don't know what to do, Karin-chan."
"About what?," Karin asked with concern.
Minako sighed nervously and closed her eyes, "You can't tell anyone about this."
"Who am I going to tell?," Karin chuckled teasingly.
"I'm serious, Karin-chan" Minako said firmly as she looked up and glared her now midnight-blue eyes at her friend, "No one. Not even Azumi-chan. This is really personal."
Karin was surprised by Minako's change in character. For Minako to become so stern with her instead of her bubbly self, she knew that this was something not to take lightly, "Ok, I won't tell anyone," Karin replied sincerely.
Minako closed her eyes and sighed, bringing her glass of wine up to her lips as she leaned back in her chair, "She's a virgin and she gets panic attacks when I touch her," she said quickly before she took a long sip of her drink, as if saying it as fast as possible would make it hurt less.
"Oh, shit," Karin whispered in surprise. She leaned back in her chair and took a big gulp of her wine.
"I was able to touch her last night briefly," Minako continued softly, staring down at the glass she was holding in her hands, "It was just her stomach, but…," she paused, struggling to verbalize her thoughts, "All I want is to be near her…to be close to her and it's…it's hard not being able to, you know?"
Karin nodded in understanding as she listened. She knew how physically affectionate Minako was. Minako liked being able to share how much she cared about her friends or those closest to her through warm hugs or other means of platonic physical affection like friendly kisses. For those she was dating, she connected with them through more intimate means like soft caresses, holding hands, deep kisses, or even passionate sex. When it came to being confident about one's own body, Minako was unrivaled in that arena. Karin had experienced this herself and heard about it when Minako would talk about her many relationships throughout the years. It was almost as though the gorgeous blonde used it as a tool to communicate how she felt.
Now, with the physical aspects of Minako's relationship with Rei…complicated…by Rei's affliction, it didn't surprise Karin to hear that it made Minako apprehensive about their relationship.
"But, I mean, we're working on it," Minako said quickly, almost as if she were convincing herself, "It just…a work in progress."
"Mmn," Karin nodded as she sipped her wine. She wasn't surprised by this. When it came to someone she cared about, Minako always showed the utmost care for the other person's needs when it came to intimacy. But even though Minako wanted to help Rei, Karin knew that Minako mostly needed it for herself…to be able to connect to her in a way that she knew how.
"She must really trust you then to at least want to try," Karin said with an encouraging smile.
Minako's pursed her lips into a thin line as tears threatened to fall from her eyes.
"Hey, sweetie," Karin leaned forward with concern, "Mina-chan, what's wrong?"
Minako shook her head, fighting back the tears as a sad smile came to her lips, "Yeah…she does trust me…more than I deserve."
"What do you mean?" Karin asked softly.
Minako swallowed before replying, her soft, melodic voice shaking, "She…she asked me to be her girlfriend."
Karin's eyes widened as she sat up, her mouth dropping open. She knew very well that Minako had a deep-seeded fear of commitment, though she had no idea why. It was why her relationships never really went to the next level. It was the reason Minako broke up with her when they were dating. She asked Minako to be her girlfriend and Minako immediately retreated, ending the relationship the day after. After they broke up and became friends, Karin began to see a pattern in the gorgeous blonde's relationships. Minako would enter her relationships with intensity but ended them fairly quickly once 'the big question' came.
"...And what did you say to that?," Karin asked softly.
Minako's brow furrowed and Karin could see in her azure eyes that she was warring with herself as she relived the moment in her mind, "Nothing…She took it back."
Karin was stunned by this as Minako continued, "Instead she…she promised she would stay with me…for as long as I wanted," she said quietly as she swirled her wine in her glass, "And I…I don't know how to deal with that."
"Wow…shit," Karin said in disbelief. She leaned back in her chair and stared into her wine glass.
As she mulled over the information Minako shared with her, she found herself beginning to admire and respect the famous archer,
Well played, Hino-san, Karin thought as she smiled to herself. It was well played, genius even! Because of how quickly Rei was willing to drop her proposition and counter with her promise, she was able to show Minako how much she cared about her, provide her with the security she needed, while simultaneously allowing Minako the liberty to not have to commit. She suspected the athlete had to be quite mature emotionally to be able to decipher Minako's needs and respond so quickly, which is exactly what Minako needed.
Karin knew Minako always had issues with dealing with her emotions. The gorgeous blonde was an expert at avoiding them rather than facing them. Karin cared deeply about her dear friend and always hoped that she would find someone special who could break through that wall of hers. Someone patient, understanding, yet strong enough to challenge her. Someone who would make her feel safe enough to let her walls down. She knew Minako would never simply allow someone to get close to her emotionally. She needed someone to confront her, force her even, to analyze herself because, the Gods know, she would never do it on her own.
Maybe Hino-san's the one to do it, Karin thought hopefully as she sat up to refill her glass with wine. She offered the bottle to Minako, who looked up and placed her glass on the table for Karin to refill.
"Well, what you think about that?," Karin asked casually as she finished and set the bottle back down on the table. She knew Minako wouldn't try to decipher her feelings so she took the next closest approach and began appealing to her thought process instead.
Minako sighed as she brought her glass back to herself, "I just…I don't understand. I mean, she said she's ok with it but…she shouldn't have done that. It's not fair to her."
She chuckled mirthlessly to herself at the irony. Rei...perfect Rei...making a huge mistake in putting all her faith into someone as undeserving as herself.
"Sounds kind of like you feel guilty that she did that?," Karin asked as she analyzed Minako's words.
Minako thought for a bit and nodded, "…I guess I do."
"Why?" Karin probed gently.
Minako sighed defeatedly, "Because I don't deserve-,"
"Stop," Karin interrupted as she shook her head and raised her hand impatiently, "Stop right there, Mina-chan. I don't want to hear about how you think you don't deserve to have someone care about you or the other self-depreciating bullshit you've got ready to say. You know how I feel about that. You're an amazing person and its obvious Hino-san sees that. I mean, why else would she make that promise?"
"But that's exactly it," Minako protested irritatedly as she looked up at her friend, "I really don't deserve-"
"Ah, ah!," Karin interrupted again, this time more sternly, "Mina-chan, do you think Hino-san is stupid?"
"What? No!," Minako replied quickly.
"Do you trust her?," Karin asked.
"Yeah, I do. I just-," Minako began.
"Then why are you questioning her decision?," Karin challenged gently, "If you think it's because you don't deserve it, then you're not really being fair to her either. She obviously thinks you do so who are you to question her? If she respects and trusts you enough to make such a big promise, can't you at least trust and respect her decision to do what she likes with her devotion and who she gives it to?"
Minako thought for a bit and sighed as she sipped her wine again as she looked away. She couldn't argue with Karin's logic. Karin was right, she didn't force Rei to make that promise. If anything, she tried to run away from Rei at that moment. Rei made that promise all on her own.
"So, back to my question," Karin contined, "Why do you feel guilty?"
"Because," Minako began. She pondered the question for a bit, "I guess…because I can't do the same…I can't give her what she wants. I thought about breaking up with her, but…"
"'But'?" Karin encouraged gently.
"…I can't," Minako said softly as she shook her head, "I don't want to lose her. I really like her…a lot."
As Karin looked at Minako, she could see the conflict in her cobalt eyes, see that Minako's feelings for the archer were much more than she led on, possibly even more than even Minako wanted to admit to herself. Minako might not have known it yet, but Karin could see that maybe…justmaybe…Minako was finally allowing someone to break through to her. She began to suspect that the lacking physical aspects of their relationship was actually forcing Minako to think and talk about her feelings rather than avoid them or find other ways to express them. What surprised her most was how much Minako was actually thinking and talking candidly about her emotional struggle.
"I was actually thinking…," Minako began hesitantly. She took a big gulp of wine before continuing, "Maybe I…I should at least try…to be her girlfriend."
To say that Karin was floored would be an understatement. Not only was Minako still with Rei in spite of the 'kiss of death' question, she wanted to continue staying with her and possibly even commit to her!
But Karin knew Minako too well and she became skeptical about Minako's train of thought, "Sweetie, I know you're not really into the whole 'girlfriend' thing. So why now?"
"…Because she wants it," Minako replied quietly, "Because it's not fair to her."
"Oh, Mina-chan," Karin said as she shook her head, "You being her girlfriend wouldn't make it fair either."
Minako looked up at Karin with confusion, "Why? What do you mean?"
"I mean it's obvious you're not ready since you're still struggling with it," Karin explained, "Deciding to commit to someone shouldn't be something you feel obligated to do or guilted into doing. It should be something you want to do, without question. It wouldn't be fair to you andespecially not to Hino-san. If you did that to me, I would feel horrible like I coerced you into it. Especially if you weren't ready."
Minako's brow furrowed as she processed Karin's words, "Think of it this way," she continued, "What if Hino-san let you have sex with her just because she knew you wanted it and she absolutely wasn't ready? Would you be ok with that?"
Minako's azure eyes shimmered with worry and concern and Karin could tell from her expression that she was starting to make sense to the gorgeous blonde.
"I…I would never want that," Minako said softly. She turned her gaze down towards the table guiltily. Karin leaned forward and brought her hand up below Minako's chin, lifting her head so their eyes met.
"Hey, there's nothing to be sad about," Karin smiled comfortingly, "You have a big heart, sweetie, it makes sense that you'd want to do that for her."
Karin retracted her hand and leaned back in her chair, smiling playfully, "Trust me, I know how much you don't do commitment. She must really mean a lot to you for you to even consider that."
Minako blushed. She smiled softly as she reached up to touch her necklace, "Mmn, she does," Her face fell as she sighed, "So what do I do, Karin-chan?" she asked.
"Hmmm, hard to say," Karin replied with a shrug, "Say you two stay together and nothing changes, she still can't be intimate physically. I know how affectionate you are, would you still want to be with her if you couldn't go any farther than what you have now?"
Minako thought about it for a bit before she replied, "I mean…it would be really fucking hard, but…I just really like being with her. She makes me feel…safe."
Karin smiled. Though Minako didn't say it outright, she knew what the answer was, "So you don't want to commit right now, but you feel guilty about her commitment to you because you can't give it back, am I right?"
"M-Mmn," Minako nodded slowly as she took in Karin's words.
"And, from what it sounds like," Karin continued, "You want to be with her, physically or not, so breaking up is off the table, right?"
"Mmn," Minako nodded firmly.
"Then I don't think you have to do anything, sweetie," Karin concluded, "Hino-san sounds like an intelligent person. And she's a big girl, she can make her own decisions. It seems like she's ok committing to you because she wants to be with you. And since you want to be with her too, then it works out. Maybe just trust her when she says she's ok with it? And, who knows? You might want to commit later or you might never be ready. But, either way, it doesn't look like you have to commit to be together. Maybe just enjoy being with her? Otherwise you're going to miss out because you're worried about something that's of no consequence right now."
She leaned forward and gently nudged Minako's chin with her knuckles, "Just be yourself, sweetie," she smirked, "I mean, isn't that what got her in the first place?"
Minako blushed and nodded her head shyly as she giggled. She picked up her glass and finished her wine. When she set down her glass, a sincere smile pulled at her lips and her sapphire eyes twinkled with relief, "You're right, Karin-chan. You're so right."
"I know," Karin said with a smirk as she winked.
Minako giggled as she reached for her friend's hand and squeezed it endearingly, "Thanks."
"Always," Karin said as she turned her hand over to squeeze Minako's hand in return, "It's good to see you smiling. Worrying doesn't suit you at all."
She finished her glass of wine and set it on the table, "I'm really happy for you, Mina-chan," she said sincerely, "I'm glad Hino-san, makes you happy."
She gently released Minako's hand and leaned back to breathe in the fresh, night air, "Love's a bitch, Mina-chan," she mused as she stared off into the horizon. She shrugged, "But the heart wants what it wants, right?," she said matter-of-factly, "The best we can ask for is to not have any regrets."
"Mmn," Minako nodded with a smile, "Hey, Karin-chan?" she began as she leaned forward.
"Hmm?," Karin replied as she turned to look at the gorgeous blonde.
Minako took a deep breath and averted her gaze to her hands. She smiled meekly and spoke softly, "I love you, Karin-chan. I didn't know how lucky I was to have been with you back then. And now, I'm just so grateful to have you as a friend. You and Azumi-chan mean so much to me. I'm really happy for both of you and that you're in my life."
Karin's eyes softened fondly when she heard Minako's words. For someone who mostly avoided her emotions, Karin knew how much it must have taken Minako to be able to say that. She chuckled softly as she got up from her seat.
Hino-san, what have you done to our Mina-chan?,Karin thought amusingly to himself, Whatever it is, I hope you keep it up.
Minako heard Karin chuckle and began to blush from embarrassment. She heard Karin's chair scrape against the floor and felt a pair of warm arms wrap around her,
"Thanks, Mina-chan," Karin whispered in her ear, "It means a lot to hear you say that. I love you, too, and I know Azumi love you also."
Minako smiled as she brought her hand up to rest on Karin's forearm. They stayed that way for a moment, until they heard the sliding glass door open and Karin and Minako felt someone wrap their arms around both of them,
"I take it everything's ok now?," Azumi asked gently. Karin looked to Minako for a response. Minako brought her hand up in a 'V for Victory' sign and winked at Azumi.
"Yeah, everything's good," Minako replied sincerely.
"I'm glad," Azumi said as she hugged her wife and friend tighter.
"A GROUP HUG AND YOU DIDN'T INVITE MEEEEE?!" Usagi's high-pitched voice startled the three women out of their embrace. They turned towards the door to see Usagi with her lower-lip quivering and tears beginning to form in her eyes.
"Mou, Usa-neechan!," Minako rolled her eyes. She quickly got up and went to Usagi and pulled her into a big hug as the older twin burst into tears, "Mataku," Minako giggled, "Usa-neechan's such a crybaby."
"Uh-huh!," Karin laughed in agreement as she came around and wrapped her arms around the twins.
"Meanies!," Usagi pouted.
"Mou, Usagi-chan," Azumi giggled as she came up to hug the twins also, "We tease because we love you."
Usagi continued to sob into Minako's shoulder until Azumi spoke up, "Oh, I just remembered! I forgot I got a tiramisu cake for dessert. It's still in the fridge."
"WHAT?! CAKE?!," Usagi exclaimed. She magically stopped sobbing and broke out of the group hug to tear back into the house towards the kitchen. The three women left on the patio laughed at Usagi's antics.
"C'mon, it's getting cold. Let's go back inside and watch one of the movies Mina-chan brought," Karin said as she walked back into the house, "Plus, I want to have some cake too before Usagi-chan inhales it all!"
"Mmn!," Minako and Azumi nodded as they giggled and followed Karin back inside.
Author Note: We're slowly peeling back the layers that is Minako.
Constructive feedback/reviews would be greatly appreciated.
(updated 06/2015)