"You've been calling Lissa a lot," Dimitri commented a week later after dinner. Kirill was back in Baia for the night, and had come over for dinner and to spend the evening with Sonya. The two of them were downstairs talking tap and light fittings with the ever-knowledgeable Eddie, so I'd excused myself to go upstairs to ring Liss.

"I just feel like talking to her," I said evasively, not meeting Dimitri's eye before heading upstairs.

I hadn't told him about Lissa's pregnancy scare, and her resulting scattered emotions. Since it had been a false alarm, it seemed silly to mention it. Besides which, Lissa was my best friend, and I didn't think she'd appreciate anyone else knowing how much part of her had wanted to be pregnant with Christian's baby.

"Have you spoken to him about it?" I asked after she'd accepted my call and the obligatory greetings were made.

She sighed and then huffed.

"No. And I don't think I'm going to. I don't think he's ready for marriage and kids, and me telling him I'm thinking about them will only freak him out."

"You won't know how he feels if you don't discuss it," I argued reasonably. "Surely you're better off at least raising the idea of marriage and children with him?"

I disagreed with Lissa on this issue. I thought Christian was all for sealing the deal, and probably wanted to do so sooner than later. Moroi were quite traditional, and the first couple of summers after graduation tended to be peppered with Moroi engagement announcements and then weddings. As the last of her line, people would be expecting Lissa to marry sooner rather than later, and get busy with the task of producing Dragomir heirs. But there was no point arguing - her mind was made up, and I knew while she liked the idea of marrying Christian, she was also pretty sold on going to Lehigh.

"So have you decided what you're going to wear to the graduation dance?" I asked, changing the subject. Lissa and Christian's graduation was in two weeks time, and she'd been struggling to find the right dress to wear to the ball held the evening of graduation.

"Yes! Tasha and I went out, and I got the perfect gown. Tasha spilled that Christian is going to give me an emerald necklace of his mother's for graduation, so I should wear something green. We found the most amazing dress!" she enthused. "Look at it now and let me know what you think!"

I slipped into her head, seeing her lock the door to the room and pull a garment bag out of the closet. She unzipped it to reveal a jade green floor length dress. The top part had cap sleeves, was lacey and partially transparent, while the bottom of the dress draped in soft folds.

I pulled myself back out.

"It's beautiful Liss. You're going to look stunning!"

"Thanks! I just wish you could be here for it," she sighed.

I sighed too. Attending the graduation dance together had been one of our dreams, but it wasn't to be.

"Hey, I met some interesting people the other day… You know how the bonded couple here? She's a Spirit user, and he's her Guardian, bond mate, and husband?"

"Yes?" Lissa sounded excited.

"Well… I had dinner over there the other night. I learned loads from them which I'll tell you about when I get back – but Oksana told me it's possible for you to charm objects for me to wear which can help with the darkness! She said it doesn't take a lot of spirit, and it's worth it in terms of lessening the effects on me."

"Oh! Is it hard to do?"

"She said it was easy, but she could talk you through it if you needed help."

"That would be good. But you probably don't need any at the moment. You haven't been taking any darkness, have you?" Lissa asked innocently.

My silence was answer enough.

"How often?" Lissa wailed, realizing what I was saying by not telling her.

"A couple of times a week," I said guiltily.

"But I've been trying hard not to use much magic…" Lissa said, her voice also sounding guilty.

"I think some just happens anyway. It's no big deal – actually it helped me the other night in a fight with a Strigoi."

"A fight with a what!?" Lissa shrieked. Oops. I forgot I hadn't told her about that yet!

So I quickly filled her in about the Strigoi I'd killed a week and a half ago, of course omitting the details about how my jealousy was the reason I was out after dark on my own, and that I would probably be dead had it not been for Yeva's timely intervention.

"So that's ten molnija now?" she checked.

I smiled. I didn't think Lissa would be noting my kills, and I said as much.

"Of course I know how many Strigoi you've killed," she huffed, genuinely annoyed. "Every time you fight I know there's a chance you could lose. I know every mark you've earned and how you've earned it."

And that made me feel like an asshole. Here she was championing me, and following my kills, yet I couldn't even tell her the truth about Dimitri and where my heart lay.

"I gotta go, Liss," I managed to eke out, getting off the phone before my guilty conscience completely overwhelmed me.

Lying in the center of the bed I shared with my love, tears were trickling down my face. I wanted to tell Lissa about Dimitri and me so badly, but I needed to do it face to face. It was only three and a bit weeks, now, until I'd graduate. Dimitri and I hadn't discussed heading home, but we'd do so once the elimination fights were over. And the first thing I'd be doing, straight after flying in, was telling Lissa.

The door to our room opened, and I quickly wiped the tears from my face as I looked into the worried chocolate brown eyes of my love.

"Everything ok?" he asked.

I nodded and sighed.

"It's just hard being away from her," I said, not wanting to tell him about the crushing guilt I felt for choosing him over her. It was the right decision, and absolutely what I needed to do. But I still felt guilty as hell about it.

Dimitri sighed, an odd look flickering on his face before he sat beside me on the bed.

"Do you want to come downstairs? Sonya and Kirill have almost completed their bathroom selections, and she wants to show everyone…"

I smiled. I was so happy for Sonya. Kirill had made his interest crystal clear, and everyone knew it was just a matter of time before he proposed. In fact, Dimitri and I had already discussed what we should give them as an engagement gift. With the new flat and a baby on the way, we'd decided on something 'houseish' but had not progressed beyond that. But if what Kirill had said to Dimitri was any indication, we only had a week or two to get ourselves organized!

I took Dimitri's hand, letting him pull me up from the bed. He pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me hard against his reassuring bulk.

"I love you. You know that right?" he asked, his voice hitching.

I looked at him in confusion. Of course I knew he loved me. Of the many things in a confusing and changing landscape, his love was my lynchpin; my whole world had come to rely on and revolve around the love we shared.

"Of course I know that," I soothed, stroking the side of his cheek before taking his face between my hands, gently guiding him down to my lips. "Just like I love you!"

I kissed him sweetly and then pulled back, pulling him by the hand toward the door.

"I think later tonight I might need to remind you how much I love you,"I hinted suggestively, raising my eyebrows at my man.

He raised an eyebrow in a way that simultaneously annoyed yet thrilled me.

"We don't have to be long downstairs," he agreed. "Just hang out for half an hour and then make our excuses…"

"That sounds perfect," I said, flashing him my man-eater grin.

I woke up overheating. Not surprising since a six foot, seven-inch man was wound around me. His arms were clasped around my waist, and I was weighted down with one of his long legs across my hips. I could not have escaped, even had I wanted to.

Something was wrong. Dimitri was always a generous lover, but last night had been something else! I'd climaxed several times thanks to his tongue and fingers, and when he'd finally made love to me, he'd taken his time, building me up to an orgasm so intense I'd honestly nearly blacked out from pure pleasure! And when he'd finally let himself cum, he'd been moaning my name – whispering that I was everything to him and that he'd never stop loving me.

Stroking my man's dark strands, I looked at Dimitri's face. He looked troubled, a frown on his full lips. I checked the clock, and there was still half an hour before we needed to get up and start getting ready for the day of training. Plenty of time to get to the bottom of what was bothering him.

Wriggling in Dimitri's arms, I pushed him onto his back, straddling him and lying on top of him, my head above his heart. We slept naked, so I cherished the feeling of his skin against mine.

"Wake up, Comrade," I crooned, leaning up and kissing the underside of his jaw.

"You're insatiable," he groaned, his lips quirking in a lopsided grin.

"Guardian Belikov, you have a one-track mind," I chastised, wiggling my hips against his to take any sting out of my words.

"You're not helping with those thoughts," he grumbled, rolling us over, so I was spooned against his chest.

We lay in comfortable silence for a minute. I almost let it go, but then I remembered the look on my man's face last night. A desperation that somehow seemed linked to the passion and intensity with which he'd made love to me. Something was wrong, and I aimed to find out what it was.

"So are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" I asked as I lazily drew patterns on his upper thigh with my fingertips.

"Nothing's bothering me," Dimitri replied far too quickly.

Great. So we were going to play this the hard way.

"Uhha," I said in a voice filled with disbelief and skepticism. "Let's try that again, and this time you can answer me honestly," I said sweetly. "What's wrong, Dimitri?"

He knew I meant business when I used his first name. I spun in his arms, so we were lying on our sides facing each other.

"It's nothing," he said, his eyes not meeting mine.

"Comrade…?" I warned.

"I'm worried you've changed your mind," he hissed suddenly. "I'm worried that when it comes down to it, you're going to choose Lissa."

I looked at him speechless. He really meant it. My poor loving man had been carrying around this fear for God knows how long.

"What makes you think that?" I asked, running my fingers soothingly over his front, toying with the manly hair on his chest.

"You've been on the phone to her every day, but keep saying nothing's wrong. And then last night you were crying after you spoke with her, and I can't help but think it's because you regret deciding to put us first."

"No…" I said, leaning in and kissing his chest. "It's not that. Not that at all," I reassured him. "If anything, it's the reverse!"

Dimitri looked at me curiously, waiting for me to explain.

"The decision's made. It's you. Us. I guess I just feel guilty about not choosing her."

"So you're calling her every night because you're guilty?"

"No. There is something going on with her. She's fine," I quickly added before he had a chance to worry about it. "She just needs to talk some things through. I want to be there for her."

"I'd understand if you do choose her," he said, sounding torn.

I shook my head.

"No. I've thought about it, and I think me guarding Christian is the best option. When I tell her about us, I'm also going to tell her I'd like to guard Sparky. It means she can be just my best friend. I know I'd always planned to guard her, but this way is better."

Relief washed over my Russian God's face. It was as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.

"So I've been worried about nothing?" he asked me, embarrassed.

"Yes," I said with a little smile. "But if you being insecure results in more nights like last night, maybe I can find something else for you to worry about," I teased, listening to his soft growl before I kissed him.

"We should probably talk about graduation and all that," I said the next evening at the dinner table. I hadn't given it much thought, but Lissa's talk about dresses had reminded me my own graduation was fast approaching.

"Actually I rang Guardian Sokolov about that earlier today," Dimitri surprised me by announcing. "Your trials are scheduled for the last day, which is Friday in three weeks time. Graduation is on Saturday, the Graduation Ball on Saturday night, and the elimination fights will run on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday the following week. I've spoken with Abe, and I thought us four could catch the train to St. Basil's on Thursday and just settle in? The trials are closed, so there's no point anyone else coming up before then. Abe said he'd drive up Saturday for Graduation and stay for the elimination fights but if anyone wants to catch a lift up, he can send the van back Saturday night with some of his Guardians."

Olena looked at Yeva.

"I'd like to go up for graduation," she said. "Mama? Would you like to come, too?"

"Of course I'm going," she snapped a little irritably. "Karolina you should come as well. Viktoria can give Paul a tour, so he knows what to expect when he starts there."

Karolina nodded, hearing the wisdom in Yeva's words.

"Sonya – did you want to come?" Dimitri checked.

"Um. Depending on what's happening with Kirill, yes I'd like to be there."

"Ok. So six with Abe and his Guardians on the way up. Term ends on Friday, but Viktoria would benefit from seeing the elimination fights, so she can come back with us after the fights."

"We should also book flights back to Court," I said sadly. "Meredith, Eddie and I have the allocations ceremony we need to attend."

I looked at my fellow Novices somberly. To say we were all a little freaked out about our first allocations was the understatement of the century. We were only halfway through our visit to Russia, yet we were already talking about leaving.

"I'm sorry, Olena," I said when I noticed her sad look.

"Don't be," she said brightly. "It's a joy having the house full, and my boy home. I wouldn't have seen him if it weren't for you. I know you have to return home eventually."

She came around the table and gave me a long hug.

"So what are you going to wear to the Graduation Ball?" Karolina asked in excitement.

I shrugged and looked at Meredith who also shrugged.

"I wasn't sure if they had one," I said lamely.

"Of course they have one, Roza," Dimitri said with a loaded look. I didn't know what he was trying to say, but his voice was heavy with a subtext.

"Well if there's a dance, I'm not going stag… Meredith? You want to come with me, or do I have to ask Belikov's little sister?" Eddie laughed.

"Yeah alright, we can go together" Meredith replied easily. Suddenly I understood Dimitri's look. I suppose as the one graduating, I had to be the one to do the asking.

I wouldn't know anyone there. Not really. Chelsea, Ryan, and a couple of other St. Vladimir's students were graduating from St. Basil's, and other than that it was only Artyom and Elizaveta.

"Maybe I should call Artyom and see if he'd like to escort me to the ball," I teased, looking at Eddie and Meredith wickedly.

"You wouldn't!" Dimitri growled.

"No, I wouldn't," I giggled. "Guardian Belikov? Would you like to escort me to my Graduation Ball?"

"Of course I will, ангел," he smiled, leaning down and giving me a soft tender kiss.

"Get a room, you two!" Sonya said, but there was only laughter behind her words.

"So I guess we need to find dresses?" I said to Meredith in alarm. "I can't imagine there's much in Baia…?"

"I'll take you both to see Miroslava tomorrow," Yeva announced haughtily, declaring the matter closed.

"Miroslava?" I asked, looking at Karolina and Sonya tentatively. The last thing I wanted was to turn up to the graduation dance in a dress thrown together by someone's cousin.

"Miroslava is a Dhampir, but she lived for over thirty years in Moscow as the principal costume maker for the Bolshoi Ballet. What that woman can't do with fabric isn't worth doing," Karolina reassured me. "You can go in there with your own ideas, but if you want something truly magical let her take your measurements and come up with something."

"I don't want to look like a ballerina," I said, unsure about this plan.

"You won't," Karo promised. "Her dresses are works of art. She can hide any figure flaw, and her dresses are so beautiful. Ask to see her book when you go in. If you have any doubts after that, I'll drive you to Omsk and back to dress shop myself!"

Sonya was nodding reassuringly.

"She's cranky, and expect to be stabbed by her dressmaker's pins, especially you Rose, but if you want to be the best-dressed girls at the ball, see Miroslava!"

"Is that ok, Comrade? Can Meredith and I have tomorrow afternoon off to go see her."

"Of course you can," he replied, giving me a sweet kiss on the nose, before nodding to Meredith. "Eddie and I want to take the best-dressed girls to the ball," he laughed. "I can't wait to walk in with you by my side."